Love Me
Rating: PG/K+
Genre: Romance/Tragedy
Summary: God sees someone he didn't expect. Spoilers for S6 finale. Castiel/Rachel.
Author's Note: …
(Sobs hysterically)
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. IF I DID, 6.22 WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED! (Sobs)
()()()()()
"How do you make so many people love you without affecting free will?"
"Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know."
- Bruce and God, "Bruce Almighty"
()()()()()
He is God.
He can go anywhere, do anything. He can raise the dead of any species, including angels and demons and humans and vampires and werewolves; whatever he chooses. He can kill with the snap of his fingers. He can create an earthquake or a blizzard just as easily. He can wipe out cities and states and countries and continents if he so chooses. He knows all, sees all, is all.
And then he sees her.
And he is shocked.
She's alive. She's in one piece. She's human- or rather, an angel made human. She has no powers. She has no grace. She is mortal.
But he didn't do that. He didn't bring her back. He didn't choose to.
She was his, once. Together they shared something special. Once they were brother and sister in arms. And then they were more. And now, now he is the universe, and she a tiny grain of sand in it.
He never stopped loving her. Not even when she turned on him. Not even when he had to kill her. Not even as he plunged her own blade into her stomach and watched the life drain from her and her grace implode. They stood on the first of many beaches together and watched a fish crawl from the sea. They watched empires rise and fall together. They fought Raphael together.
He is God, but he is not emotionless. He loves her still.
She is alive and working as a school teacher in some no-name town in New England. The students are rude teenagers and the rest of the staff is largely disagreeable, but she doesn't seem to mind. She seems happy where she is.
He enters her house, a tiny structure, without word or warning. She's making dinner. She's good at it. She never had to before.
He doesn't say a word, and she still senses him there, turning around to face him. She seems only mildly surprised to see him. He tries to pretend that he isn't surprised at her lack of surprise.
"Castiel," She says quietly. Her tone is soft, but neutral. He can't glean what she's feeling or thinking.
And to his surprise- and anger- when he tries to read her mind, he gets nothing.
He locks eyes with her.
"I am God."
She is not fazed. At least not on the outside. He still can't read her mind, and he's frustrated.
"So I heard," She states, still so, so quietly. "I thought you might find me here."
"You tried to kill me." He says.
"I did."
"I thought you loved me."
"I did."
There's silence, but she doesn't elaborate.
She is not scared. She is not nervous.
She's utterly and totally calm.
And now he's the one that's starting to shake.
"Why?"
Something flickers behind her eyes, and he thinks it might be anger. Or possibly sadness.
Why can't he read her?
She mildly waves her hand at him. "This, Castiel. This." She looks sad now. Hurt. He can see it in her eyes. On her face. "Because I knew you were becoming this."
The way she says it, you would think he'd become a monster.
"I thought you loved me."
"I did." She echoes.
"You don't love me now?"
"You are not the Castiel I fell in love with."
"I am God."
"Yes, you are God. And you are no longer my Castiel."
And with that, she turns back to the stove and adjusts the burner.
He stands, silent and stunned.
"Love me," He says. Orders. Her hands go still, one holding a fork, the other holding the handle of the frying pan. She doesn't turn around and she doesn't speak. A moment later, she pokes whatever meat is cooking in the pan. She's ignoring him.
"Love me!" He barks.
She turns around sharply.
The movement causes the fork to fall from her hand and the frying pan to slide off the stove and onto the counter. She narrowly avoids a burn.
She looks him in the eye.
"No."
He stares at her, chest heaving, and he must look confused because he is.
She gives him a sad, sweet smile, just like she used to.
"You may be God," She says softly. "You may be omniscient. You may be all powerful." Her smile tightens. "But I'm human now, Castiel. And I have free will." She shakes her head slowly. "And you can torture me, and you can even kill me: But you can't make me love you."
Her eyes are watery.
He wants so, so badly to rage and scream and roar. He wants to destroy everything around him, wants to show her his wrath so that she knows the consequences of disobedience.
But somewhere, deep inside, he knows she's right.
He can't make her.
And she's strong enough to resist him.
He wants her.
And he can't have her.
He leaves her, then, and doesn't come back.
When he's gone, she moves the pan back onto the stove, picks up the fork, and then bursts into tears.
-End
…
…
…
(Goes off to sob in a corner)