iv

The day after the Rachel Berry 18th Birthday not-just-train-wreck-but-fucking-meteorite-crash-that-took-out-several-countries-and-possibly-resulted-in-apocalypse extravaganza, Kurt decides that this just can't go on. He calls Blaine.

"Hey, Kurt! It's so great that you called, I miss you guys! Are you having a good holiday? It was the party last night, right? How was that? It's so boring up here, I wish I-"

Kurt cuts him off mid-ramble, because usually he'd find Blaine's enthusiasm endearing, but right now he just can't. "Blaine, I need to talk to you," he says, aware that he probably sounds harsh, but far too tired to care about it, "and you can't interrupt, and you have to be honest, because I just need to get this over with, okay?"

"uhm, okay..." comes Blaine's startled reply.

"Blaine, I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot, and I spent half of that party with my tongue down some guy's throat," – a sharp intake of breath on the other side of the line – "and I didn't even know him, and y'know how you were talking about how my first kiss, the first one that actually, really, 100% definitely counted, would be one that I chose? Well apparently I chose to throw it away."

Blaine interjects, shakily. "Kurt, why are you-"

As if there had been no interruption, Kurt continues – "and do you know why I did that, Blaine? Because I got tired of all of these stupid, amazing, perfect moments with you, the hands intertwined and the starry nights and your guitar in the park, those moments, being ruined by the fact that they mean nothing to you but absolutely everything to me."

He takes a few seconds to breathe and collect his thoughts, and this time Blaine doesn't attempt to cut in. "I couldn't live in anticipation of those moments any more, Blaine, not when they just crush me every time. So I tried to prove to myself that I could enjoy myself, that I could experience things without you – that I didn't need to wait for something to happen when I could just create moments myself. But it backfired because there he was, all over me, and then teenage fucking dream starts playing, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I love you, Blaine. I love you, and it's killing me to be lead on like this, because I just can't do anything else with my life when you're there being so perfect and... I know you're not trying to, I don't blame you, really, but I think I just need to hear you say it, that you don't feel the same way, or I won't-"

"Kurt,"

"-be able to stop pretending that maybe it is something, I won't be able to stop reading into every single thing, and I won't ever get over it, and-"

"...Kurt, I-"

"-I know you'll probably never want to talk to me again after this, and I'm really sorry that I've ruined our friendship so completely by being so stupidly in love with you, but I justcan't keep going on like this. I'm sorry." He inhales, feeling strangely like he just let all of that out in one breath, even though he knows, logically, that's impossible. He focuses on the breathing thing anyway, because if he doesn't think about that he'll have to go back and think about everything he just said instead, and oh, god, he does not want to do that.

"Kurt, I'm not leading you on."

"You are, Blaine. I know it's not intentional, I get that, but that doesn't change-"

"No, Kurt. I'm not leading you on, because I love you, too."

"You... you what?"

"I've wanted to tell you for months – I planned out so many ways to do it, this definitely wasn't one of them – but... whenever I got up the courage to, you started avoiding my gaze. You walked away just as I was about to say it so many times... I started to think that you could see it in my eyes, and you were just... trying to let me down easy, y'know? Trying to stop me from making a fool of myself, or something... but, Kurt, of course I love you too. Of course I love you, how could I not?"

"That – oh, my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry... I thought – I thought that it was hesitance, when I- when I avoided- I thought you were getting ready to let me down easy. I thought you were trying to find a "sorry, it didn't mean anything," or an "I don't think we should do this anymore, because you clearly read too much into it", and I just couldn't deal with the humiliation, so..."

"We're idiots, aren't we?"

"Oh, completely."

And perhaps this one shouldn't be a moment, because it started in anger, and hurt, and it's definitely not perfect, because Kurt's just told the guy who loves him about kissing someone else. But it's okay if this one isn't a moment, because it's better than that – it's a beginning.

v

A week later, when Kurt goes to pick Blaine up from the airport, he doesn't make any romantic gestures. He doesn't bring flowers, or plan to serenade him, or even make an extra effort with his outfit (well, okay, he maybe wears his favourite scarf. For luck. But that definitely doesn't count). He doesn't try to make it into anything that it's not.

He's just there, and so is Blaine.

And the wheel of Blaine's suitcase sticks so they can't run towards each other in slow motion like you'd expect from a film, and they have to stop to let some impatient people pass before they can get to each other – Kurt almost trips over a small child in his haste, and Blaine almost walks face-first into an old woman carrying a hot cup of coffee – and when they finally do meet, a man in a suit shoves past them, inadvertently breaking their kiss apart too soon.

Despite all of that, though, Kurt can't help but think that this one is probably his favourite moment so far (even if Blaine does laugh at him for keeping score).