Trickery

Plot summary: Now hold on! I thought Megamind wasn't evil anymore!

Rated T for safety (advises my beta reader, although I thought K+)

Disclaimer: Still playing in DreamWorks' sandbox. Promise to put the toys away, soon as I'm done. Almost there, just a little longer …just an itsy bit more….

The last thing Roxanne remembered was leaving the station. It was Friday, after a particularly long, tiring week. Where was she? Why did her head hurt slightly, like that ache she used to get after the knock-out spray? Her eyelids were heavy; it was so hard to open them. Her body, which was seated in a chair, felt sluggish, and her wrists were- bound?

Her eyes suddenly popped open. The room was dim. For a moment she had the mad thought she was back in that room in the Lair. But, no, this place was different. It wasn't large and cavernous. There were no consoles with blinking lights or Tesla coils. It seemed more like a shabby abandoned office. It smelled dusty.

"Good evening, Miss Ritchi. Finally joining the ranks of the conscious, I see. It would have been a shame for you to miss my glorious defeat of Metro Man." She was stunned speechless. Turning in the direction of his voice, she saw Megamind walking out from the shadows. "What, no witty comeback? You must not be quite awake. Usually you are much quicker on the mark."

"Megamind, what is this all about? You promised me no more kidnappings."

"Whatever are you talking about, Miss Ritchi? I never made any such promise."

"Sure you did- the night I agreed to date you."

Megamind looked surprised, and then suspicious. "What trickery is this? Are you hoping to convince me to release you by using your feminine wiles and your temptress ways? Implying the possibility of sharing your charms with me?"

"What do you mean? We've been dating for over a year. We're engaged." And with her thumb she felt for her ring ….which was no longer on her finger! "What have you done with my ring?"

"Now, Miss Ritchi, we covered this a long time ago: 'Management is not responsible for the loss of personal items during kidnappings.'"

"This is crazy. You gave up being evil." Suddenly she noticed his attire. "You're wearing the spikes again- you gave up the spikes."

"Pretending to have lost your mind? Thinking I will have pity on a mad woman and let you go? Such tricks…. won't work…. on me."

"You said you loved me, and you wanted to spend your life with me," she said in bewilderment.

"Perhaps the knock-out spray has muddled your mind. Or maybe….." His puzzled expression transformed into a smile. "Why, Miss Ritchi, have you been dreaming about me, and now you are confusing your dreams with reality?" He looked her over in a contemplative manner.

Roxanne muttered to herself, "Dreaming? Yes, I must be dreaming, except this is more like a nightmare."

"Oh, I understand now. You have finally fallen for my villainously handsome good looks, my brilliant intellect and clever repartee." He purred, "Well, my dear, since you are soon to become unattached and available with the demise of your boyfriend, I would certainly be willing to explore this option with you when I have time- oh, in about 10 minutes."

He tugged on a large black tarp and it fell to the floor, revealing a complicated piece of machinery that looked like a large ray gun on a pedestal. Megamind flipped a switch, pushed a large red button, and the machine began to hum. The barrel of the gun was translucent, and a blue light inside intensified slowly. "Behold, Miss Ritchi, the latest example of my diabolical genius. This magnificent machine will spell the end of Metrocity's moronic hero."

A klaxon suddenly started to sound. "Don't worry, Miss Ritchi. That's just the perimeter alarm going off. The victim approaches, unaware he is flying to his doom."

There was a crashing sound and a flurry of dust and debris as Metro Man burst though the wall. He was immediately engulfed in the glowing blue light from the ray gun and paralyzed in place.

"Ah-ha, Metro Man, in case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap. You'll be interested to know that your paramour had expressed an interest in dating me. I'll be sure to comfort your grieving girlfriend when you are gone. Well, Miss Ritchi, any last words for your soon to be former boyfriend? No? Already moved on, have you? Well, that's probably for the best." Turning back to his adversary, Megamind exclaimed, "It's been fun. Good bye, Metro Mahn."

The light grew brighter and brighter, until it was too intense to view. Roxanne looked away and shut her eyes. The whining grew increasingly loud until there was the sound of an explosion. The noise faded quickly. "Behold: the end of Metro Mahn!" shouted Megamind.

Roxanne was horrified when she looked over and saw, where Metro Man had been standing, only a pile of burned rags and a brown smear.

Megamind's evil laugh went on and on. She was chanting to herself, "It's a horrible nightmare, just a nightmare. It has to be a nightmare."

Suddenly Megamind put his face near hers and yelled,

"April Fool! Got you! Ha, ha, you should see your face. Let me show you; I recorded the whole thing. I'll go cue it up."

After a moment of stunned silence, Roxanne spluttered, "That was weeks ago, you idiot!"

"By the time I learned about your strange human custom, there wasn't time to arrange everything by April 1st."

In her peripheral vision she could see the blue light of a disguise watch turning off. There was Metro Man, now styled Music Man, in his new attire with the long hair and scruffy beard. He came up to Megamind and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "That was great; worked out just the way you said it would. You haven't lost your genius for evil, despite being out of practice for over a year." They continued to exclaim over the cleverness of the plan.

She told herself that this was the man she loved, the one she had agreed to marry. It didn't matter: she was going to KILL Megamind. She looked over at Metro Man and Megamind laughing together. In the back of her mind was the thought: Isn't it nice to see them working together, getting along, after all those years of rivalry? No, she was going to kill BOTH of them. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. She planned to serve it FROZEN.

AUTHOR NOTE:

Thanks to nineteennintytwo for beta reading, advice and suggestions.

And, yes, the story ends here because I can't think of a way for Roxanne to get revenge. But it was just meant to be a humorous one-shot.

If I made you laugh, or even smile, a review would be appreciated.