Note: I don't own the characters, reviews appreciated, etc. This story takes place after Trials and Tribulations but doesn't account for Apollo Justice or Investigations.

"Hey, Nick!"

The defense attorney being addressed was slouched over his desk. At the moment, an assortment of legal documents covered all of the surface space before him, strewn about in such a manner that indicated they hadn't been read carefully or in their entirety. Phoenix looked up from the latest paper, allowing it to droop casually over his hands as he peered over at his assistant.

"What, Maya?" he asked with only the slightest bit of impatience in his tone. While he wasn't entirely uninterested in hearing what the spirit medium had to share, he had a mountain of work to complete that more immediately required his attention. Going into court just once without feeling utterly lost or confused would be such a nice change. He let the paper in his hands flop lazily down to the desk and blinked over at her with measured coolness, preparing himself for whatever inane comment she might make.

"I think Mr. Edgeworth likes you."

Well, he'd been ready for every inane comment except that one. Shocked into silence that lasted longer than he would have liked, Phoenix leaned forward, staring at Maya in confusion. While misinterpreting her words was a very real possibility, (after all, this wouldn't be the first time he'd been accused of allowing his mind to go off on fantastical tangents), what Maya was suggesting seemed… hard to misunderstand. Swallowing with difficulty, Phoenix placed the file he'd been studying into the nearest folder and then flattened that against the desk, attempting to compose himself.

"You mean as friends, right? Because yeah, me and Edgeworth consider each other rivals and partners, and we go back a long whi–,"

"No, Nick," she said, smirking deviously and waving a hand as if to dismiss the idea. The expression upon her face indicated that she was having far too much fun toying with him.

"I mean, I think he likes you. Like as a crush." The spirit medium grinned at him after saying as much, reclining back in the rolling chair that was intended for legal clients. She pushed away from his desk as she smiled, seeming to enjoy the defense attorney's horror.

"W-what? Don't be ridiculous. You know Edgeworth. He's not the type to form crushes on people, let alone on people like me," he said, trying to calmly but desperately put this into perspective. For the past few years, the media had been obsessed with "Wright versus Edgeworth", and while he was content to slip into his assigned role as the famous prosecutor's rival., anything beyond that role was weird and deeply unsettling.

His eyes bored into those of his assistant, taking on a look of steely certainty until the girl burst into a lighthearted fit of laughter. This only made Phoenix more frustrated. What he needed at this point was reassurance that Edgeworth was NOT interested in him and that this was the girl's idea of a joke. Laughter seemed to indicate that his disagreement was in some way silly or unreasonable.

"Oh, come on, Nick! Is it really that bad to think that he might have a crush on you? I mean, look at how he behaves around you…" she said, getting up from her seat in the client's chair and gliding across the room until she could study the potted plant located in the corner. Phoenix's gaze followed her movements, his expression remaining sour and steadfast.

"Most obvious would be the way he acts during and after cases. He's always doing stuff like clutching his arm and avoiding your eyes awkwardly. How often does anyone ELSE witness the great Miles Edgeworth looking coy? I've never seen him act interested in anyone beyond what they mean to him in court, let alone respect them as individuals, and he seems kinda obsessed with you... but like, in a really shy way! It's so cute to see him all flustered when he's interacting with you! And not to mention the way he speaks to you after court!" – she turned to face him and puffed up at this, taking a deep breath and sticking out her chest in a clear representation of the ruffled prosecutor – "Good job, Wright. Without you, the truth might have been lost forever."

Phoenix rolled his eyes, immediately finding the flaws in her argument. "Edgeworth is just distant and kind of bashful by nature, and I can't REMEMBER the last time he complimented me on a trial. In general, he always seems annoyed or bored with what's happening, and he respects me because I've managed to ruin his no-loss record. Just let it go." He had half a mind to ask what had started her on this ridiculous topic of conversation in the first place, as Edgeworth hadn't even been particularly friendly toward him recently.

"Oh, come ON, Nick!" she exclaimed for a second time, looking more stern than she had previously. "You're forgetting a whole bunch of cases by saying that Mr. Edgeworth just doesn't care. Plus, the way I've heard you talking about him… you have a ton of respect for him, and I know he does for you too! Maybe it's hard for you to see it, but because you've worked closer to him than anyone else, he trusts you a lot! Just think back to all the cases you solved together, despite the polices' approval. That's a lot to expect from someone like Mr. Edgeworth!"

Phoenix didn't know how to respond at this point. Humoring or encouraging Maya seemed like it could have disastrous results, particularly because even her best evidence seemed to fly in the face of how distant Edgeworth was in his every conversation and action. Still, he couldn't bring himself to directly say no. Truthfully, at one point in time he had been interested in getting to know Edgeworth more intimately.

Phoenix didn't speak for a moment, reflecting upon his first encounter with the now-prosecutor. Back then, he'd had never felt so alone in his life. After being unfairly accused of committing a crime, his entire fourth grade class had turned against him. When an unfamiliar boy rushed to his rescue, Phoenix knew that he'd be forever indebted. Someone who defended him without any other knowledge, despite being the party that injustice had been done to – that had been something that Phoenix had to acknowledge as brave and admirable, even before he came to befriend his former classmate. Really, as an adult looking back on the situation, it seemed like a silly reason to be so enamored with the other boy, but Edgeworth's defense had meant everything to him as a child.

Unfortunately, life was more complicated now. A childhood crush-if it could even be called that-had no place in the real world, particularly when people had such a tendency to change. Accepting that the past and immature dreams weren't worth clinging to, Phoenix was determined to let the matter pass without a second thought.

"Are you even listening to yourself? You do realize this is EDGEWORTH, right? He doesn't have any interest in relationships beyond the professional one he has with the prosecutor's office and police department. It's not even worth thinking about," he said, attempting to sound authoritative and sure of himself.

Maya again swatted a hand impatiently in the air, seeming to not care in the least for her friend's argument. "You're no fun. I wasn't going to say anything to him… unless maybe you secretly wanted me to?" she said, her tone rising with inflection as she proposed the question.

The defense attorney continued to stare at her in a severe, unblinking manner that obviously indicated disinterest. Seeing his expression, Maya pouted, standing with her hands planted on her hips.

"I KNOW that he has SOME kind of feelings toward you. Be honest with me… if he agreed to a date, would you go?" she asked, seeming oblivious to the extent of her question's bluntness.

Gawking, Phoenix clenched his hand into a fist upon his desk, looking away in frustration. He really, really couldn't be bothered with stuff like this right now. Instead of getting angry, he exhaled sharply and spent a moment considering his next response. Eventually he sighed, his hand relaxing and shoulders slumping.

"I'm sure he DOES have feelings toward me, and believe me, they aren't the kind you're imagining. But I give up. Do whatever you want, Maya. I can't stop you from pestering Edgeworth if you really want to," he said in resignation. Taking the road of ambiguity seemed the easiest choice between admitting interest and feigning apathy.

This seemed more than enough for Maya. The spirit medium grinned widely, an expression that went unnoticed by the harried defense attorney. Although he couldn't see it, he could hear Maya springing toward the front of his desk and the impact of her hands against the faux-wood surface.

"You got it, Nick! I'll make you look innocent if he doesn't seem interested, so don't worry! Ohh, I can't wait to tell Pearly! She'll be so excited to hear I'm playing matchmaker!" she said enthusiastically, cheeks flushed and voice high-pitched as she leaned over the desk. Phoenix reluctantly opened his eyes, running a hand through his trademarked black-spiked hair and opening his mouth to protest.

"No, don't tell –," he began, only to be cut off by Maya's next exclamation.

"After trial tomorrow! I'll meet you in the office after I talk to Mr. Edgeworth!" she cried, pulling herself away from the desk and hurrying toward the door. Phoenix groaned inwardly. The girl wasn't about to hear another word he said, quickly slamming the door shut behind her and disappearing with the intent to corrupt his life in a number of unnecessary ways.

Phoenix sighed again, pressing his forehead into his upturned palms. At the very worst, he supposed he could deny any involvement with this whole debacle. No one in their right mind would disbelieve him.