Yeehaw. Finals are over. College is out for the summer. And to celebrate, I wrote this baby in the course of one day. I knew if I let it go at all, I'd never finish, so I buckled down and wrote until the end. Please enjoy =P

It's another beautiful morning in the Animal Forest. I got up early, at 8:00 AM today. Not a lot of villagers are up so early, so there aren't a lot of people to talk to. Still, I like starting the day early. They do say the early bird catches the worm after all, and I intend to get that worm if it's the last thing I do. I walked out of my house and felt the weather. It's a little chilly. The dew was mostly dry, but the sun wasn't out enough yet to really warm the village. Oh, well. It would be soon, and in the meantime, I got mail this morning.

Let's see. The Happy Room Academy sent me another rating. I don't know when they come in to inspect my house, honestly. It's like they sneak in when I'm sleeping. I wonder if they steal anything. Ah, well. If they do, it's nothing important. Anyway, I got a letter from Dotty, too. We've been like pen pals lately, writing back and forth. That's kind of nice. Redd's going to be showing up soon, too, with those "crazy deals" of his. Somehow, it feels like he overcharges me, but he gets a lot of cool stuff you can't find anywhere else, so I forgive it.

I got a letter from mom, too. Even though I live on my own these days, Mom and I still keep in touch, so that's nice. And, what's this? She sent me a present with her letter. I got pretty excited, and I opened my gift before I even read the letter. And inside the package was . . . a pear. Just a single pear. It's a wonder it didn't rot. You know, most people would find that disappointing, but I was actually really happy. Pears don't grow naturally around here, and they are one of my favorite fruits. I couldn't wait to taste it, but I also didn't want to waste it. "Give a man a pear, and he'll be happy for a day; plant a man a pear tree and he'll never be unhappy." That's my motto.

With pears on my mind, I decided to grow a small orchard, starting with this one pear. Trees grow quick around here, so I can stand to wait. With the pear in hand, I ran across the river to find the best spot to grow it, but the best spots were all taken by other trees. Oh, well. That's why I bought an axe. I don't like cutting down trees, but I'll plant a new one just after, so it's no big deal. I ready the axe, and build up my strength. I'm just about to start the first chop, when . . .

"Hey there, John! Did you get my letter, wee one?" I know that voice; it's Dotty. She's one of my favorite neighbors. I mean, all the villagers are nice and all, but Dotty and I have always been good friends. With a smile on my face, I quickly turn around to say hi, but . . . oh, God!

I swung the axe. Before I knew it, I swung the axe. I swear I didn't mean it. I shouldn't have turned around. Oh God! Fucking God! It hit her. The axe slammed into her chest. "Dotty! Are you alright?" Talk about a dumb question. There's a fucking axe in her goddamn chest! She was bleeding. Shaking and writhing from pain. I heard her bones snap when I hit her. Oh, god, what do I do now?

She's dying. She's not dead yet but she will be. There are no hospitals in this fucking village. Even so, I probably hit her heart. Fucking hell, what do I do? Dotty's dying, and I killed her! Shit! This can't be happening!

I'm panicking. I have no idea what to do. She's moaning in pain and crying. She coughed. Coughed up blood. The red's leaking out of her. The ground's turning blood red. Shit! She's still shaking. She's in pain. She's suffering. It's my fault! She's going to die in pain; in fucking agony! I didn't mean it! I swear to God it's not my fault! I never wanted this to happen!

She coughed again. God, she must be in the worst pain. I-I-I have to help. Shit, there's no saving her. I-I've got no choice. I don't want her to fucking suffer because of me. I should just put her out of it. I ripped the axe from her body. She's bleeding even more. "I'm sorry, Dotty." I raised the axe above my head. I shook from the fear and sadness, but I did it. I swung down hard. It took her head off. Lopped it clean off. It rolled to my feet, blood pouring from the neck. She still looks scared. She's dead, but her face looks scared.

"Oh my God!"

Shit! Who the hell is that? I turn around. Tangy? What the hell is Tangy doing here? Her house is five acres from here. Fuck, how long was she there? Doesn't fucking matter. Long enough. She's crying and running toward me. "How could you?" She screamed at me. She's running toward me with the only thing she has. An umbrella. A fucking parasol. She thinks she can stop me with a fucking parasol. Not happening! I'm not about to spend my life behind bars. I've got to stop her.

"Back off!" I yell. I pull back, and let the axe fly. Literally. I threw it at her like a Frisbee or a boomerang. I threw it with all the strength I had. My life slowed down. I saw her stop running. She stopped on a dime when she saw that blade heading for her. Her eyes got wide. She was scared and she wanted to run. Any idiot could see that. She started to scream, but she didn't scream long. Before she could take another step, the axe hit her. It hit her square in the face. The force took her off her feet. She flew backward and slammed into a tree. I don't know if the axe killed her, but she's fucking dead now. She shook the tree when she hit it. A beehive the size of my head dropped down. She got stung over and over. Every bee in the entire hive got a turn. It sounded almost like scraping metal.

"Shit! What the hell is wrong with you?" I blamed everyone but me. "It's Dotty's fault. She walked up to me! She saw I had an axe in my hand. Why wasn't she more careful? Wasn't she thinking? Shit! And Tangy. Fucking Tangy! She saw what I did. It's her fault she died. What the hell did she think was gonna happen? It's her fault, not mine! Oh, God, I can't be a murderer! I've got to hide. I've got to get home!"

I grabbed the axe from Tangy's fucking skull. I don't know why I took it. It's dripping blood; leaving a trail. Better than leaving my prints at the scene, though. Fuck! My house is so far from here. Across the fucking river. Why'd I decide to plant this goddamn fruit so far from home? I ran. I ran like hell back home. I hoped to god no one would see me. This shirt's still bloody. Why the hell don't I bring extra clothes? It was still early. I knew half the village wouldn't be up yet. Lazy bums. I got to the river. No one saw me yet, thank God! I threw the axe in there. I'm happy to be rid of that thing. I made it to the bridge. I ran through the forest. I'm panting like a damn dog, but I can't stop running. Not 'til I'm back home.

Finally, I'm home. I'm back at my house. I ran inside and slammed the door. Checked my dresser. The only outfit I have is my old uniform from when I worked for Tom Nook. Damn slave driver. I run around the whole village doing every goddamn thing he can think of for what? A measly thousand bells? I've caught fish worth ten times that much. Oh well. It'll have to do. It's the only clothes I got. The only clothes not covered in blood, anyway.

I want to sleep. I want to stay still, but I can't. I'm pacing back and forth like a retard. God, all the money I spent on this mansion for what? It's not fair! I'm gonna lose it all. I can't be a criminal. Fuck!

The bell at town hall starts ringing. God, I've been pacing for an hour? What the hell am I even doing here? Hiding in my own house? Great hiding place, dumbass. They'd never check here. God, but where else do I go? The City? No way in hell I'm going that close to the police station. There's nowhere else to hide! This village is fucking tiny. Any cop could search the whole place in 10 minutes. Fuck! It's not like I can leave either. There's a fucking ocean to the south, rock walls to the east and west, and the fucking police station up north. I'm caged in! Caged like an animal! This village is like a prison in itself!

That damn bell strikes again. I've been around this house a thousand times. I can't fucking sit still. I can't calm down. Why would I? I'm a murderer. God fuck it! It's like a black hole is eating away at my insides and it just won't stop. Shit! I hear some doors opening. 10:00 AM. It is about time those lazy fucks wake themselves up. God, if anyone comes around here, they're dead. No questions asked. With what? My axe is gone. All I've got is a fishing rod and a net! Where the hell are my shovel and slingshot?

I search my house. I've got dressers in every room. I just keep all my shit in them. God, so much useless junk! Wait. Yes! Thank fucking God! There it is! My shovel. And Pitfall seeds. Hell yes! My slingshot's there, too. About as useful as the fishing rod, though. Not often people die from a sling shot. Just get fucking bruised, but I'll take it. At this point, I'll take anything. It's only a matter of time 'til they find me, and I'm not gonna let them take me down. I sneak out of my house. No villagers around. No screams. Looks like Dotty and Tangy haven't been found. I'm not surprised. Everyone just woke up a few minutes ago. I gotta do this quick. I bury pitfalls all over. I only have about five or six, so I have to use them well.

"What the hell? Help! Help, someone! Someone's dead!"

There they were. Panicked screams. Sounds like Quetzal to me, and it sound like he found Dotty and Tangy. Well, no shit. Why else would he say someone's dead? God, that damn eagle's gonna tell the whole town. Well, it was only a matter of time anyway. There are murmurs. It's so quiet in this town, I can hear everyone. People start running. The town's getting panicked. They all heard him in this tranquil-ass village. Oh, fuck. Here he comes. Quetzal is running toward me. He's getting help.

"John, thank god you're here. Dotty and Tangy are dead. They're across the river! I need you to get Copper and Boo- Whoa!"

Fuck, yes! He fell! He toppled over right into a pitfall!

"God damn it! Of all the rotten times! John, why the hell do you bury these? This is an emergency!" Quetzal screamed. "Just go get the police, while I pull myself out of here!" I didn't listen. Like hell I would. Like I'd go straight to the police. I held my shovel so tight that my hand felt like breaking. I walked to Quetzal as he struggled to climb out of the hole I dug. "John, what are you waiting fo-"

Before he could finish, I raised the shovel and slammed his face with it like a blunt object. I could have shoved it in like a spear, but this felt more satisfying. The impact cracked his beak, and made him bleed from above the left eye. "You little shit!" Quetzal screamed through his cracked beak. "You killed them, didn't-"

I swung the shovel again. This time the beak shattered. There was nothing left of it but smithereens. I swung it again and again. I was panting by the time I was done. I was still panicked, of course, but I've never felt more alive. Fuck, I'm enjoying this. He's probably already dead, but I swung it again. Oh, fucking yes, I have the power.

"Bastard! You're dead!"

Shit! Wolfgang! He's the only villager I'm fucking scared of. He's the only one other than me crazy enough to kill. He's got an anger problem, and he's flown off the handle more than once. Just ask Tangy . . . well, I guess you can't do that anymore, can you. Still, Wolfgang was there. Up the big hill. More like a cliff, really. The town had two levels, you see. It doesn't fucking matter. He was gonna come and get me, and there was nothing I could do. I don't stand a chance against a wolf . . . unless.

Perfect! There are some rocks at my feet. I readied my slingshot in record time, and aimed it right at him. No way I could miss. I'm a damn good shot. I shoot balloons up in the air like it's nothing. Wolfgang's drooling with anger, but he's got to find a way down before he can get to me. I'll stop him before that happens.

"Eat this, Bastard!" I shoot a rock with perfect accuracy. It flies like a bullet up right at him.

"Grah!"

Yes! I got him! I hit him right in the ankle! A perfect shot! That won't kill him, though. No way it would. Even if it went in deep enough, I didn't hit anything important. Just the ankle. But that was just perfect. "Shit!" He screamed. The shot made him trip. He tripped and fell. He fell right off the cliff. He tumbled down the rocky cliffside, bleeding and breaking bones all the way down. But he still wasn't dead. He couldn't move anymore, though. He was paralyzed from a broken spine.

I walked up to him with a bug catching net in hand. "I'm dead, am I? Fuck you, bastard!" A spat at him and held the net at the mesh part instead of the handle. Wolfgang was fucking pissed, though. He bit at me. Fucking snapped at me. It was all he could do. Fucking pathetic. I stabbed the net through his eye. All he could do was scream like the dog he was. He was still alive, but barely. I just decided to let him die. Slowly and painfully.

"Stop it!"

"Stop right now!"

What the fuck? This is getting old. Hazel and Dora were right fucking there, behind me. They were too close. I couldn't react. They jumped on me, and tackled me to the ground. They were light, though. Just two rodents. I could throw 'em off for sure. I was about to do just that, too, when . . .

"Shit!" Wolfgang fucking bit me. He bit me in the arm. He was still fucking alive. Paralyzed from the waist down, and stabbed through one of his eyes, but alive. He bit down harder. Probably with the last of his strength. Oh, shit, that fucking hurt. I'm pissed now! I grabbed the fishing rod from my pocket. It was all I had left. I used the handle like the hilt of a sword. I bent my arm back and shoved it into Hazel's ribs. That did the job. She jumped off me, leaving just Dora to try and keep me down. That wasn't happening for long, as I rolled to my side and toppled her over. She hit her head on a rock. Serves her right. She'll be back up, I know she will, but she'll be dazed for a second or two.

Wolfgang was still on my arm, clamped like a bear trap. Fuck him. I grabbed his jaw, and pulled him off me. God, that fucking stings. I pulled out his teeth, but there were still puncture wounds, and I was bleeding. Still, it was easier than I thought to get him off. The fucker was already dead.

By now, Hazel was back up, but not for long. She tried to tackle me again, but I was ready this time. I dodged to the right, and she couldn't stop herself. She was heading for the cliff. Perfect! I grabbed Wolfgang by the neck, and swung him like a bat. I swung with all the power I could muster. She couldn't react. She didn't expect it. Why would she? None of the villagers have ever seen something like this. It hit her. It knocked the wind out of her. It sent her flying into the face of the cliff. Her head collided first, and I could hear it crack.

"You monster! I'll kill you!" Dora was uncharacteristically angry. Not surprising. I killed most of her friends. Still, she wouldn't have to feel the anger for long. I picked up the fishing rod again, and she ran toward me. The closest thing she had to a weapon was a watering can. A fucking watering can! No problem. I swung the fishing rod like a sword or a staff. It hit. It smacked her across the face with enough force to bring her to the ground. She fell face first.

Taking my opportunity, I jumped on her back. She screamed in pain and fear. I don't know if I broke her spine. It didn't matter. She'd be dead soon. Taking the bobber in one hand, and the rod in the other, I used the fishing rod as a makeshift garrote. I wrapped the line around her neck, and pulled as tight as I could. Tighter, tighter, and tighter I pulled, until it happened. Blood started spurting from her neck. She was dead now, and if she wasn't, she would be in seconds. She was bleeding out her arteries. You don't come back after that. Especially with no hospitals.

But, fuck! I was out of breath. I was sweating, and my heart was racing, and I couldn't stop panting heavy. Probably because of the thrill, but also because I was losing strength, and fast. I couldn't keep this up. I needed to run. I've got some friends. If I could make it to their villages, I'd be safe. Fuck, if I could just take down Copper, I could make it. But, God, what to use? All that's left is the fucking shovel. After what I did to Quetzal, it was bent, and hard to swing. The fucking metal's coming off, but it's all I have. I fucking pulled the metal part off. It was no good to me this way. It would just fly off next time I swung it.

I fucking ran. I ran to the town gates. Copper'd be standing guard, no doubt. He'd never leave his post. I didn't have any trouble making it. Lucky saw me, but he didn't give me trouble. Just stepped aside like a good dog. Fine by me. I didn't have the time or energy to waste on his undead-ass. I fucking just beelined for the town gates. I fuckin' gotta leave this place. I walked into the gate area. It was our police office, too. Not a lot of crime here, so it's about all we got.

"John, we know you're the murderer. You're under arrest." Always like Copper to put his job first. He wants to curse me out. To beat the shit out of me, but he's so fucking professional. Fuck that shit. I raised the shovel, or what's left of it. I charged at him, and swung as hard as I could. He blocked, though. He blocked with his staff. No surprise. Unlike his partner, Copper's in good shape.

He swung at me next. Right in the forehed. Fuck, that hurt. It sent me flying like a leaf through a wind tunnel. I hit the wall full force. I slid to the ground, barely holding my weapon.

Copper stood over me with such revolting authority. Like I wasn't a threat. Like my life was in his fucking hands. "Rest assured, you will be thrown in prison, my frie . . . former friend. Tell me, how many villagers have you killed?"

Oh, fuck you. You piss me off, Copper. I'm getting out of here, like it or not. I clutched the shovel again, and he tried to prepare himself for another attack. Too late! You're dead now! The shovel slammed into his knee. I think I broke it, because he kneeled in pain, and let out a moan. "Gah! Booker, back me up, here!"

"I uh . . . I don't . . . what can I . . ." Booker was useless. He was scared and confused and couldn't even make a move. It was just me and Copper.

"Didn't expect that, did you, Copper?" I got back on my feet, and unleashed an onslaught of attacks at him. Over and over again, the shovel hit. It hit his face, and his neck, and his chest, and anywhere else I could fucking hit. I was bleeding out the forehead by now from where Copper hit me, but I didn't care. I fucking won! Copper was dead, or close enough to it that it didn't matter anymore. I grabbed Copper's staff, and walked over to Booker next. You could just feel the silence . . . until I broke it anyway.

"Alright, fatass. I'm getting the fuck out of this village, and you're not gonna give me any trouble. Got it?" I was bloody, and hardly standing, but I could still threaten him.

"Uh . . . right. That would be fine . . . I, uh . . . I think." He trailed off at "I think" but it didn't matter. He was opening the gates. I was at the doorway to freedom. The doors were open. I was about to collapse with exhaustion, but I didn't care. I bolted out of there as fast as I could, when . . .

"Shit!" Something hit me. It was small. It hit me right in the arm. Whatever it was, it went right into one of the bite marks. Shit, that stings! It came from behind, where the gates were. But who? Who was left? Who could stand in my way? I turned around, and there he was. Fucking Tom Nook. How the hell did he stop me from so far away? I looked closely, as he walked forward. A slingshot? A fucking slingshot? That brought me down? Fuck! God damn it. I was so . . . fucking . . . close.

"I can't just let you leave, John. Not when you still owe me over a million bells for the renovations I made on your house." Nook stated plainly. That fucking avaricious raccoon! He'd do anything for his fucking money. God damn it! I can't move! I can't get up! I'm out of energy. Fuck! Nook just walked closer. He drug me back to the village, and I could see Copper getting up, too. I was out of strength. I couldn't fight back. I blacked out.

The next thing I knew, I was walking out of my house. I couldn't understand why until . . .

"John! What did I tell you about resetting? Do you think this is funny?"

Shit! Resetti! God damn it. That explains why I'm not aching anymore. Oh, well. At least I'm still free. And if this ever happens again, I know I'll be able to make it. I just gotta be more careful. But for now, I'll just listen to this damn mole lecture me on why not to reset.

The End

So what didja think? Not bad if I do say so myself, but maybe I'll feel differently after I give it time to sink in. Still, at least for now, I like what I wrote. So, until next time, be sure to review, because I love those =P I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next fanfiction.