Can't believe I'm getting so many alerts – and even favorites! Thanks to everyone for those – they make my day.

Not sure how many updates I'll have this week on this story – going into graduation week, so I have a senior awards banquet, kindergarten and preschool graduations, a high school graduation and open house for my daughter, and then off for a week to see a Mouse. But as fast as these ideas are coming into my head, I might have several chapters to load at once upon my return.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, but I'm hoping for all three seasons on DVD for Christmas this year.

CHAPTER FIVE

It was 6:00, and Kate hadn't spoken a word since Jordan gave her the file that morning along with the ipad. It took her some time to learn the device, and she asked Jordan why she couldn't just have a dry erase board like usual.

"Kate, I don't want to scare you, but your safety is extremely important. You've been on this case, and not letting it go – pushing it for twelve years now. You broke it open, you found the links. Should our location be compromised, all of these paper files, while easy to sift through, can be quickly destroyed – there are backups on the ipad. All we'll have to do is grab it and run, leaving them no trace of what we know."

Kate understood, and asked Jordan to show her how to use the ipad to sort and sift the files, no longer touching them except to get a closer look at a picture – she still couldn't zoom back out of a photo, and Jordan had been gone for a bit, so she planned to ask for help on that later.

Noticing the sun's late position in the sky, Kate realized how long she'd been at work. Her stomach suddenly reminded her as well, and she ventured off to the kitchen to find something to quiet it's rumbles so she could get back to work. The sooner she finishes this case, the sooner she can get back to her family, her friends – to him.

Castle's words still rang in her ears. She knew he would be devastated by her proclaimed death but it would be too much danger for him to know the truth right now. The same with Ryan and Esposito – she couldn't endanger them should someone be tracking their movements. Her attackers would be looking for traces that she could still be alive for a long time, and anyone who knew the truth would be in danger.

Kate made a sample chicken salad sandwich with some fruit, and sat down at the table, forcing herself to not think about the case for a while. She thought of Castle's words again, his declaration of love. She worried for a moment that he was saying them just to provoke her, to distract her attention from the pain to argue with him and keep her alert until the ambulance arrived. But the look in his eyes, his salty tears falling on her face, told otherwise. What Lanie, Royce, even Roy had said was true. Richard Castle was in love with her, and her response was to deceive him. She hoped that once they solved this case he would understand and forgive her, that they all would. Kate would be heartbroken if he didn't. She'd never seen such devotion from a man before. She had put the feeling off as part of his shadowing – the way he was always around, came at the drop of a hat when she called. She had hoped it was more, and his declaration at the cemetery that day had proven this was true. She was terrified of the prospect of not being enough for him, but knew that for the past three years, she had been. He'd left actresses, models, even his unrealistically beautiful ex-wife all to the side just to join her on tracking down a lead.

Jordan walked into the kitchen and saw Kate deep in thought. She saw the ipad sitting on the table, but switched off, knowing that Kate could grab it quickly if they needed to vacation quickly. She could tell that the stress of the situation was taking a toll on Kate, so she had an idea. "When you finish that sandwich, let's take a walk." Kate was uncertain – she didn't want the security of their location compromised by her agitation, but thought Jordan would certainly know what she was doing with suggesting it, so she obliged.

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Jordan had another purpose for their walk – she was introducing Kate to their escape route should something happen and their location and Kate's undead status be discovered. Jordan showed her the tunnel through the basement out to a ravine. "Once you hit the creek bed, go right and follow it down til it goes under a large bridge. A guard is stationed there, and he'll get you out of here." Kate wondered how many times this location had been used before, and realized that the FBI truly thought of everything. Except maybe heartbroken protectees. As they walked, Jordan pointed out several guards in tree stands and blinds throughout the woods, as well as possible hiding spots along the way down the creek bed.

Jordan noticed the sadness in Kate's eyes, and knew the burden that she was carrying. Kate chose that instant to speak. "Jordan, when you met with Castle, how was he?"

Jordan knew that question would eventually be asked. "Kate, I've never seen someone so hurt, so lifeless. I don't want to scare you, but I was very worried about him when I first saw him. After we went through the case information, I kept talking to him for a while, to let him unburden himself a bit. He's trying to stay strong for everyone else."

Kate nodded her head and kept her eyes to the ground. "You know, after I was shot, he told me he loved me. All I could do was to smile just a bit. I couldn't react anymore than that or I'd be giving away this evil ruse we're playing."

Jordan understood. "He told me what he'd said. He hoped that you'd heard him. I thought you might want to hear that part too. I accidentally left the recording device on for that part." She grinned widely at knowing the joy that this would bring to Kate, but also aware that it would break her heart to hear him in so much pain. "Let's head back up to the house and when you're ready, you can listen some more."