Growing Old

A/N: I got a little distracted when I got this idea on Biology class… : D I was (again) a bit lazy as I wrote it and that's why this is really not a masterpiece or anything. Just something funny and simple to cheer me (and hopefully you too) up.

That day was the beginning of the end. Roy could feel it. It was all because of that one hair on his head. Roy had combed his hair in front of the mirror when suddenly something had caught his eye. Dirt on his hair? But no. It wasn't dirt. It was a hair. A grey hair. And after a lot of panic, stress and thoughts like 'Will I die?', 'How to get it away?' and 'My life is over', there Roy sat, in the hall, back against the wall. With that final thought. My life is over.

Alright… There could be something good about it too! There had to be… Roy wondered for a moment but then all the bad things came over. I won't be attractive anymore. No more appreciative looks from women. No more sex. I'm getting old. Soon I'll be on a wheelchair. Of course, none of those were anything compared to the worst one… ED will not be attracted to me anymore.

Of course he wouldn't. Ed was still young compared to Roy, he was 43, still very attractive, good-looking, sexy…thinking of Ed's looks for a while, Roy forgot his problem almost completely. Anyways, the point was that Ed wouldn't get grey hair in a long time. Maybe not even in 10 years. And in 10 years Roy would be… 67. So old! Roy was already so damn old… It didn't help that Ed was getting older too because the age difference was so huge… What was Roy thinking when he had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ed? Well, he had really wanted to do that and he still did… But as 32-year-old, when he had proposed to Ed, had he thought about grey hair and wheelchairs…? No, not really.

Roy Mustang, who had always thought he'd be forever attractive… was now graying. How ironic. Roy got up and tried to comb the grey hair so that it was hidden. It was difficult.
"What an asshole, suddenly appearing in the best place," Roy muttered and it took him a while to realize that he was actually talking to his hair. Awesome.

In the end Roy just messed up his hair so that the grey hair was finally hidden. It didn't matter. The grey hair didn't show. Ed wouldn't notice and everything would be great.

The door was opened with a key. Ed glanced at Roy, smiling. "Hey there. Did you get bored without me?"
Roy groaned. "It was nice and peaceful… as always when you're not around."
Ed grinned and gave a short kiss on Roy's lips, taking off his jacket. Roy looked at him, wondering how it was possible that he was completely used to all that. Knowing that if the routines with Ed would suddenly be taken away… Roy wouldn't know how to handle it. So he'd have to hide his grey hair forever if he wanted to be with Ed.

"How was your day," Roy asked. Ed shrugged.
"As usual. I got pissed at Russell, he got pissed at me, we found something interesting in the samples and got excited 'til it turned out it was nothing and we got pissed at each other again."
Roy laughed a bit. Even though Ed and Russell were working together nowadays, they still didn't get along… or so they said but the truth was that they truly appreciated and respected each other.

Ed's explanation of his day was so usual that for a moment there, Roy almost forgot the grey hair. Almost. How could he possibly forget the tiny little bastard which was obviously trying to make Roy's life miserable?
Maybe Ed should be with… with… Russell. Yes, that's right. Russell was a year younger than Ed, not married or anything. They would grow old together and get grey hair together… Neither of them would be incredibly good-looking as the other was slowly shrinking, getting grey hair, getting wrinkles… Oh fuck, the wrinkles! Oh fuck, Roy would start to shrink! What if he would be shorter than Ed? Oh god, Ed would never let Roy live through that! Of course he would revenge every single timeRoy had made fun of his height…

Roy sighed. He did not want to grow old. He wished there was some way to get even a little piece of the Philosopher's Stone in his hands… He had never understood people who feared terribly of growing old but now he sure did understand them. He was one of them. Perhaps Roy would be okay with it if his life-partner wasn't 14 years his junior…

"Obviously your day wasn't so good, seeing the way you're sighing right now… I know, I know… you can't help it, you just miss me so much when I'm not around."
Roy snorted and Ed wrapped his arms around Roy, smirking. Oh, it felt good, being like that. When Roy was close to Ed he still felt like he was the same 32-year-old, in love with Edward Elric. Well, his love had never faded. It only seemed to grow stronger and deeper with each day he spent with Ed. And that was why he just didn't want to let Ed go…

"I'm damn sure I've never seen your hair this messy…"
Ed raised his arm, being about to touch Roy's hair as Roy pulled away from his lover.
"Don't touch it!"
Ed's eyebrows knit together. "What the hell?"
Ed looked suspiciously at Roy who was feeling the cold sweat running in his neck. Ed was one of the sharpest people he knew… meaning: he would figure out the whole thing soon enough.
"Roy…"
Well, Roy had known that Ed would figure it out eventually… but so soon?

"Don't tell me that you're having an age crisis again."

Age crisis? Huh? No way!
"I'm not having one! I never have!"
Ed laughed. "Yeah right…"
Roy was having a crisis because of that damn grey hair of his! And everything else… that was just completely normal fear of growing old, not crisis.

"Ed… what would you say if I dyed my hair?"
Exactly, that was the answer to the hair problem of Roy's! Why hadn't he thought of it earlier?
"I'd say: age crisis."
Roy snorted, walked past Ed to the living-room and sat down on the couch.
Ed sighed and followed him. "What are you freaking out about now?"
Roy pouted, ignoring Ed. He knew he was acting like a little kid… But he didn't care if Ed thought like that. Ed didn't have a single grey hair on his beautiful, long, thick golden hair now did he?

"Tell me. I have to know. Please."
Roy made the mistake of glancing at Ed, seeing his puppy eyes made Roy give in immediately. How on earth could he deny anything from Ed anyways? Once there had been a time when he had been able to do that but… not anymore.
"Alright… just… promise not to laugh."
Ed raised his eyebrows until realization lightened up his face. "Now I get it! You can't get it up!"
"Huh?" It took a while before Roy realized what Ed meant.
"NO! Of course I can get it up!"
"Look, Roy… it's not that big a deal. We've been together for 25 years now and you've always got it up. Which is pretty damn good, I'd say. I'm not laughing, it's totally normal."
Roy shook his head. Oh my god. This was even more embarrassing than that one grey hair! But Roy was serious. Though he hadn't remembered to think about that… Not being able to get it up, it was a part of getting old… Ed in a relationship where there was no guarantee that the sex would work? Yeah right!

"Really, Ed, I swear that's not the thing here. The thing is… today when I was combing my hair, I kind of found… well…"
"You found a louse?"
Roy stared at Ed for a while. "Uh, no, I didn't find a louse on my hair."
"So what did you find?"

Roy sighed. Why couldn't Ed be the genius he was and just figure it out already so that Roy wouldn't have to go through the pain of saying it aloud for Gate's sake!
"I found… this", Roy groaned and combed his hair with his fingers to how they normally were.
Ed leaned in, looking at his hair. "Um… Roy? I don't see anything."
Roy sighed, got up and went in front of the mirror. "You tiny little bastard, hiding on a moment like this…"
"What did you say," Ed asked from the living-room. "Nothing!" Just talking to a hair of mine?

Finally Roy found 'the tiny little bastard' again and went back show it for Ed.
"Look!" Ed stared at Roy.
"It's a hair… so?"
"It's not just any hair, Ed! It's a grey hair!"

Ed stared at Roy for a while dumbfounded until he sighed deeply.
"Oh, please… please tell me this is not what you've been freaking out over…"
"I have! Don't you get it? I'm growing old! When I'm totally grey, you might have one grey hair!"
Ed raised his eyebrows. "So you're thinking that you will envy me then?"
"Well… sure but that's not the point. The point is that soon you have to feed me! And change my diapers! And perhaps I'll get some nasty disease and your life with me will be hell and soon I won't be able to get it up!"

Ed shook his head, leaning his head against Roy's shoulder. "You're an idiot. My idiot."
Roy stared at Ed, confused. That was not the kind of reaction he had been waiting for…
"I think you're not seeing the picture here… Let's think, in 10 years, I'll be 67. While you will be 53… still charming, still attractive… while I'm old and grey and grumpy and whining about everything and lazy in the bed…"

Ed laughed. "You're not serious are you? For fuck's sake, Roy. You really think I'm with you because of your looks and sex?"
Roy shrugged. "Well, those are my best qualities…" Which will be taken away cruelly.
Ed punched him gently. "There is more to you. And you know… even when you will be old and grey, full of wrinkles… I will still think you're the most attractive person on the whole world. And even when I'll have to change your diapers and feed you and listen to your whining… even if you can't get it up, I will still love you."

Roy stared at Ed, amazed by his words. "Wow… that's probably the corniest and most romantic thing you've ever said to me."
Ed blushed a bit and Roy felt his pride slowly rising from the ground. Roy still managed to make Ed blush even though he was a 43-year-old.
"Guess so…"
Roy smiled a bit. How did he always manage to forget that somehow Ed had always found a way to make the most horrible things seem alright? He still, after 25 years, couldn't figure it out.

"And you know… I think you'd look pretty sexy with grey hair. So you go ahead and grow old."
Roy raised his eyebrows, finally smirking. That was unexpected… but definitely not in a bad way. Suddenly Roy realized that he was kind of enthusiastic of growing old.

"So… you're really sure that you don't mind when I'm old and – "
Ed put his finger on Roy's lips. "Yes, Roy, I'm totally fine. You're the one who asked if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And I said yes, remember? It has never changed and it's not going to change."
Roy couldn't do nothing but nod. Ed had made everything clear and simple. He wanted to grow old with Roy even though there was that tiny little bastard on his hair. Actually… Roy was already quite fond of it, he had named it already!

"But… well… you know, I'm still having a hard time believing that you can't get it up."
Roy was just about to yell and get pissed and annoyed and all that shit but then he saw the little suggestive grin on Ed's lips. And suddenly he knew exactly what to answer.
"Well, if that's the case… Maybe I should just show you?"
Ed nodded. "Yeah. You should. See you in the bedroom."

Roy watched as Ed got up and admired for a while at the view of Ed's backside (which was still as perfect as it had always been). And when Ed disappeared out of Roy's sight, Roy looked up.
"I know, the beginning was quite bad. But I think that we'll be alright from now on."
Roy shook his head, laughing a bit, holy fuck; I'm still talking to a hair of mine, before he got up and followed Ed. Maybe growing old wouldn't really be that bad after all. At least Roy knew now that he would have Ed on his side. And that was exactly how he wanted it to be.