Title: My Wish is Your Wish
Fandom: Viewfinder
Pairing: Yoh/Fei Long
Warning: songfic, angst
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Ayano Yamane.
Summary: About Yoh's feelings and thought on his master.
Note: This is not a sequel to 'A Promise Broken'.. The song I used was Strange & Beautiful (I'll put a spell on you) by Aqualung. Thank you krambi003 for suggesting this song.
My Wish is Your Wish
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
Unseen
Maybe you know but maybe you don't. From the first moment I saw you all those years ago I have been watching you. Keeping an eye on you. In the beginning I was watching you from afar; I couldn't get close to you. I just couldn't go against Asami-sama.
Then everything changed. Not only you but also my position. This time my orders were to watch you and know what you were doing. This gave me the chance to watch you from up close.
I found out that you weren't the man I thought you were. Later I would find out that you changed because of something that you don't want to remember. At least you try not to, but I know that you think about it almost every single day. Every one who has known you for a long time knows what has happened. They also know that it has shaped you in what you are now.
I know that you can't face this all alone. Not with what has happened so many years ago and not with what has happened just some couple of weeks ago. But somehow you don't let anyone get close enough to you to help you.
I can't stand seeing you slowly falling apart and yet it seems that no one else notices it. Am I the only one seeing this? Or am I the only one looking at you? How can that be, when everyone around you is supposed to make sure that you are alright? When, in fact you aren't.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me
In my eyes you are everything that the word beautiful represents. I have never seen anything as beautiful as your eyes or your hair or anything that is you. Sometimes I think that you realize how beautiful and attractive you are to other people, men and women alike. But I also often think that you don't know about it.
And yet you can be very strange. Like you don't belong in this world. You seem so strong and powerful but deep inside this strength of you is running out. I doubt that you can see it yourself.
I can see that it is wearing you down. I know that you need someone who you can trust and can get your strength from. You always have you guard up. It is time that you have a place where you can be yourself and not have to look over your shoulder for something to happen. You need a person with who you can feel safe.
I want to be that person. I want to share the burden you are carrying with you. Because it won't be long before you can't carry that burden alone anymore.
I want to be that person that can make you happy. But then I start to wonder. Will there be a person that you can trust enough to let your guard down and let them see your true self? Can that person be me?
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyric's top
And you'll realize that you love me
I will be the one to show you that a human being can be trusted. That there is nothing wrong with not being able to trust someone else with your own life.
I will show you that there are still people who care about you. Not just about protecting you but everything about you. I will let you see that there is another world then the one you and me are living in. because it will not only make you feel better, but you will also learn that there is another side to people.
When you wake up from your own little world I will be there for you to show you the way in the new world that you don't know yet. I will be the one who guides you through it. I will be the one who show you all the beautiful things in this world. Because I'm sure that you haven't seen any of it yet.
I will make you see that I can be good for you. That I can be the one you can trust your life with without even thinking about it for one second. And maybe someday you will realize that you need some people around you who can make you see the beauty of the world and your own beauty. I hope I can be the person who you will turn to and trust the most.
Yeah...
Yeah...Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...
Sometimes you think you can do anything your own way, only to find out that it won't go your way. It will turn out to be something completely different then you had planned in the beginning. I know how that feels. Because it seems that every time I try to do something, no matter for myself or anyone else, it won't go to way I like it to be.
And sometimes the things you want don't ever happen. You can wait for it to happen but somewhere deep in your heart you know that it never will. But still you keep hoping. I also know how that feels, it happened to me more then once.
You can wait all you want but the real question is; will it ever happen? The thing you want the most is sometimes worth waiting for, even if you don't want to know how long you have to wait for it to happen.
Deep in your heart you know that the day will come that your wish comes true. Because you know that you aren't just waiting for anything to happen. It's special and you will do almost anything for it to become true.
And it isn't a surprise that I also know how this feels. Because I have been waiting for a long time for something to happen. And I know it will happen one day, I will wait for it to become true. It doesn't matter how long I have to wait for it, because deep inside my heart I know it will happen.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me
I will let you see something you have never seen before. Even though you have seen so much in your short life. You will see things that you have never thought would exist in this world. Then I will remind you of the fact that you haven't been living in the real world.
The world where it isn't normal to carry a gun all day, even when you go to sleep. The world where you don't have to protect yourself or pretend to be someone else. The world where you can show your emotions and be honest about what you want without fearing for your own life and everything that represents it.
I will be the one to wake you from the dream that everything in the real world is indeed real. I want to be the one who shows you everything that you have been dreaming about. I want you to see the real world through your very own eyes.
In that world I hope that I can be the first thing you see. I hope that you can realize that I can be a part of the real world. I don't just hope for it, I will do almost anything to be a part of your world. Then we can create our own little world to live in. A place where you don't have to be afraid for anyone. A place where you can just be yourself.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cause I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah...Yeah...
Yeah...
Yeah...
Yeah...
Not only do I want to show you the real world where you can be your very own person, I also want you to know that I don't know everything about the real world. It is also something new to me, this other world. So you won't be the only one who will feel vulnerable.
I hope you can see that I will do anything to see your true self. I know that a long time ago you didn't hide who you were, but now you do. You have seen so much that I sometimes wonder how you can deal with it on your own. One thing I do know is that it won't be long before you break and need someone beside you.
I want to be the one who you come to after this whole nightmare is over. But before that I want you to be happy with who you are and to know that you are safe. Only then I can hope that you come to me and only to me.
I want to be the first and only person you see when you wake up from your long and painful nightmare. I hope that one day you can make the decision to see the world for what it is and live a life that doesn't only exist around surviving another day.
I want to be the only person to whom you say those three words that you have never said to another man before. I want to be the man who tells you just how beautiful you really are, without you knowing or realizing it.
I hope that someday all my wishes can come true. But before that can happen I hope you will start to live your life like you are supposed to. Only then can I hope and wait to see if that one day will come where I can tell you how I really feel about you.
My only hope is that is will come sooner rather then later. Because I don't know how much longer I can stand by your side and watch as you destroy yourself each day a bit more.
The End