-1Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this story.
Hello everyone. Here is the last part of the story. Just As I promised. I'm glad I could get this to you guys sooner than later.
Thanks to all those who favorite and followed the story as well as me as the author. I truly appreciate that sort of support. I hope you are satisfied with the ending of this story and future stories I have in mind.
Thank you so much to the reviewers of the first chapter, miniview, and Hello ( ) . I would have replied, but due to technical issues, I couldn't. I should be able to reply to any incoming reviews now, however, so hopefully plenty of people give their opinions of how they enjoyed the story. I hope that you all enjoy. Please review if you get the change. Thank you in advance to all the readers.
Chapter 2: My Heart Goes With You.
It felt like it had been forever since they had taken him away. I felt so small right now, unable to do anything but sit in the waiting-room. The little damage I had sustained was easily repaired. It took mere minutes to clean and bandage my laughable injuries, and since then, I'd been waiting for some word about him. Anything. I asked every nurse that I could find, but they would all tell me the same thing. Sit down and wait. I think they were getting annoyed, but I couldn't help asking. My mind raced. I couldn't stay still. The incessant movement of fingers, never-ending tapping of my foot, standing up, pacing, sitting back down, up again. I just couldn't stop moving. I was glad Naruto and Sakura were each on missions. It wouldn't have been easy for them. I was on the verge of total emotional collapse. I was glad they didn't have to see me this way. I wasn't strong enough to for myself, let alone for them. I would have made them as much as an emotional wreckage as I was.
I looked up at the clock. It had been over 4 hours, yet, all I knew was that Sasuke was in critical condition. That's all they could tell me. I didn't know what to think, as my mind ran over all the possible scenarios. I was scared out of mind waiting… wanting Tsunade to come and give me something, if just the sparsest bit of information, yet that very same thought petrified me just as much. I wanted for her to tell me that he was okay, but I saw him with my own eyes, and I knew that it was possible that her report would not be so optimistic. I feared her coming to inform me of the worst-case scenario. I wondered briefly if this was how a parent would feel, waiting to see if their child would survive some horrible accident. What a horrifying feeling. I'd rather it had been myself. Why did it have to be Sasuke. Why couldn't it have been me.
I was now sitting in my chair, completely ignoring how uncomfortable it was. My body was leaned forward, elbows balanced on my knees, and face buried in my hands. I wasn't even trying to hide the despair anymore.
"Kakashi-San."
I raised my face instantly at the stern voice. It was Tsunade. My heart skipped a couple of beats before it pace fluctuated uncontrollably as I jumped up from my chair a little too quickly and with less reserve than I would have liked.
"How is he?" The words escaped my mouth before I could catch them. Tsunade must have seen the desperation in my eyes. Her usually stoic features dropped slightly. I could feel my impatience rising. I just wanted her to tell me already.
"Well!"
"He's in very critical condition Kakashi. The entire operation was touch-and-go and we nearly lost him a few times. I've been able to resuscitate him so far, but he could start to slip again at any moment. For now, he's stable." The news could have been better, but I felt a little better by the fact that Sasuke had survived the operation at least.
"Can I see him?"
"I don't think that's the best idea."
"Please. I really need to."
"Kakashi, I told -"
"Tsunade-Sama. Just for a couple minutes…" Tsunade hesitated for a second.
"Please?" I was just about begging right now. It must have looked pretty pathetic for a jounin of my status. I might as well have been on my hands and knees. My pitiful request must have reached Tsunade's deepest sense of sympathy as she looked at me with a hint of empathy in her amber eyes.
"Fine." She responded finally giving in.
She instructed me to follow her, and through several hallways, she lead me to the door I knew connected to Sasuke's ICU. She only gave me a solemn nod, as she motioned me in the general direction of the door. I knew it was her way of reassuring me that it was okay to enter, while at the same time, there was the expression telling me to brace myself. I nodded back slowly, hoping my gratitude reached her.
I entered the room, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the room. The air, saturated with the metallic odor of blood, smelled of death. I hadn't remembered ever smelling blood so pungently before in my life. The smell didn't hold my attention for long though. It was what I saw that terrified me the most. Sasuke laid there on the hospital bed, face whiter than the sheet that draped across the bottom half of his body. In fact, the sheets themselves were stained with patches of blood that had since dried. The deep burgundy stains seemed to memorialize the struggle that must have gone on to save the life before me. Sasuke himself looked worse now then when I had brought him in. For a second I wanted to turn back. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him this way anymore. He seemed so pale and weak. I wouldn't have believed he was alive if not for the beeping of the monitors attached to him, some beeping too far apart for my liking. His midsection and chest were heavily wrapped in fresh bandages, but I could already tell that they would need changing again soon, as blood was seeping through to the surface. His respiration was slow and weak. I struggled to see the rise and fall in his chest. The image was heartbreaking and it almost brought me to tears.
I had approached him slowly, being mindful of the wires of the machines crisscrossing the floor. There was a seat not far off. I brought it a little closer to the bed, and sat down next to Sasuke. For the first few moments, I could only stair at him, still trying to absorb the shock. It still especially surprised me how pale his face was. I reached down touching his cheeks, expecting them to feel cold. They were actually warm with a temperature, leaving a stickiness caused by the collecting perspiration. My hand then moved up, wiping away some of the his locks, sticky with both sweat and dried blood, out of his face and eyes. His eyes remained unflickering, and shut tight.
"I'm sorry Sasuke." I breath out, sorrow filling my voice as my hand remained on his forehead. "I'm sorry for letting this happen. Please forgive me for not looking out for you." My other hand moved down wrapping around his own limp one laying at his side. "I know… that I should have been the one lying here. Not you." I felt so completely guilty. I wasn't sure why I was even talking. It's not like Sasuke could hear me.
"Please forgive me. I-I'm sorry." I closed my visible eye, trying to hold the tears in, but it only made it worse. I couldn't hold them in any longer. Years of training to control my emotion suddenly became void and worthless. Tears rolled off my cheeks, soaking into the mask that covered my lower face. Years of experiencing the death of comrades in the midst of battle couldn't prepare me for this. Somehow, this was different, though I couldn't understand why. I felt as if I was dying right along side Sasuke. If he died, I knew that a part of me would go along with him. Not until this moment, had I known such deep pain. Again, I couldn't help but wonder briefly. "Is this how a parent would feel." For a moment, I felt like I was looking at my own flesh and blood, even though I'd never known what it was like to have a child. Maybe I knew more than I realized.
"Sasuke, don't die. Please don't die on me." I spoke one last time, a steady flow of tears still streaming. "I don't want to lose you, Sasuke. Please just open your eyes for me." He remained unmoving and just laid there. Again, I considered momentarily why I was even speaking, but for some reason I believed that he could hear me. I thought that talking to him was the best thing I could do. I believed that maybe, just maybe, there was the possibility that he could hear me. I hoped that he could at least. Or maybe, talking to him was just my way of denying the fact that Sasuke really was possibly dieing. Regardless, I continued speaking to him, while trying to calm myself down a bit. Tears still soaked my eyes.
"If I could, I would replace you with myself in a heartbeat." and I meant that with everything I had. "I wish that you didn't have to be in this condition, but I know that you'll be just fine. You're Sasuke after all, so stubborn and wayward." I suddenly found a delicate smile forming as I thought of what words to continue on with.
"In fact, now that I think about it, maybe I should just order you to die. You've always liked doing the opposite of what I say, especially when you were younger. You still do now sometime, just to annoy me, don't you?"
Sasuke stilled remained on the hospital bed, not moving, and seemingly not hearing a word that I was saying. The smile that I had for a short time was starting to die and I soon found myself frowning again. Regardless I still continued on. If there was anything I wanted to say to Sasuke, whether he could hear me or not, it was what I was going to say next.
"I don't think I can bare to lose you Sasuke. For a while now, I've known you as a student, and since that day we'd met, we've become true comrades and friends. But more than any of those things, you've become like my very own son." I paused trying to find the words to continue as yet again, I felt a fresh set of tears forming.
"It's true. You really are special to me. I don't know why or how, but you've taken a much larger part of me than I ever believed possible. Of course, all of my students do. But you…you're different somehow. You remind me so much of myself when I was your age. I've always felt like we could connect somehow. It has always seemed like we could understand each other on some level that's not exactly apparent, even to me, and… well… well now I'm just blathering, huh?" I quieted down for a moment. I couldn't get my thoughts straight. There was just so much storming through my head. Unearthed emotions, and memories of the past. I thought maybe, I should just get to the point.
"What I mean to say is,… that through everything, I've come to care for you so much. As I sit here, scared to death that I'm gonna' lose you, I wonder if this is how a parent feels when they see their own flesh and blood in this sort of condition. I imagine it must be, because I've never felt so miserable in my entire life." My hand was still wrapped around his. As I let my grip around it tighten slightly, I continued.
"I feel like a father, watching his very own son dieing right in front of him, and I can hardly take it. If you die, part of me will die with you. I… I wish I had only told you earlier, Sasuke. I wish I had let you know how I felt when it mattered most. But I can say it now. I love you, like my very own."
"I love you Sasuke."
The words came out broken and shaky. It was just so hard. I don't know why, but it was as if I was saying goodbye. That wasn't my intentions, but as I said them, there was just this feeling of getting the words out before it was too late to be said. I only hoped he could hear me, but his eyes remained closed and he was in the same position.
"You don't have to say anything back. I just want you to listen, and I pray that you hear me. I just want you to know." My head faced downward as I paused again to take a deep breath.
"I just wanted you to know that I truly do love you, Sasuke. You really are like a son to me, and I love you so much. I love you son. " I couldn't hold it anymore. The tears had started again, full force, and I just couldn't stop them, as my body shook uncontrollably. I didn't even want to stop them this time. I wanted to cry and feel the pain. Somehow, it made me feel better. It felt better to cry for someone you loved rather than hold it in. A hand remained wrapped around Sasuke's, while my other hand wondered toward my face, trying to wipe away the silent tears. I hadn't realized that at the moment I told Sasuke I loved him, that I had also given up on him. I felt sure that he would not make it through the night. I'd seen injuries, not nearly as bad, claim lives. I just knew deep down, that I would lose him. I would lose my first and only son forever. I felt like my world was falling apart, and it was the scariest feeling in the world. What made it so much more terrifying is that none of these feeling had ever been in me before. Or… what I really mean, I guess, is that I had not realized the extent of the affection I had for the boy. Now I truly felt the weight of his life on my own. The weight was not burdening, it was more like a balance. A balance that I could not stand without. If he died, then I knew that I would fall, like some large structure without it's central pillar. I would not be the same person. Part of me would crumble away with Sasuke. I knew that…
"If you die…my heart goes with you." I said the words out loud as they came to mind. They seemed fitting. Sasuke had not taken up a part of my heart, he was a part of it. Somehow, somewhere along the way, he had stolen bits and pieces of it, maybe helping to mend his own, broken from his past. Either way, our hearts had fused, and now, he would be taking part of me with him. That was just fine though. I was glad to have had him in my life, even if only a few years. I was glad to have gotten the chance to be apart of his life, and for him to be apart of mine.
"Don't forget, that I love you, son."
.
.
.
.
"I…love you…too." The voice was weak and quiet, but it wasn't my own. My eyes widened slightly and my head moved up slowly toward the source of the words. For a moment, I thought it was just my imagination, but after few seconds of just staring in disbelief, I realized the onyx orbs staring into me. His pale face was turned in my direction, baring mostly exhaustion and pain. I felt the hand I held, slightly gripping mine back. I couldn't believe it. He was actually awake. He was alive.
"Sa-Sasuke. W-when did you…you're… I…" The words were strangled in my throat as a mix of emotions drowned my chest. I couldn't believe that he was actually alive right now. I could hardly contain many of the feeling pulsating through me, yet I didn't know how to let it all out. The shock of seeing him, truly seeing him, and not just his body lying on what I thought would be his deathbed, put me in a shocked state that I couldn't seem to recover from.
"I love you too…Dad." He spoke again, a weak smile gracing his face. This time I had fully realized the words that came from his blood-stained lips. The first time he spoke, his voice was the only thing I heard. I couldn't care less what he had actually said. But now, I heard every weak word. They were low and hardly reached my ears, but they had reached my heart and were loud and clear.
"You…you heard me?" Sasuke nodded slowly, and I smiled, face still wet with tears. The tears had never ceased from earlier, but now, they were different. They were tears of happiness, and not of despair.
"Did…Did you really mean what you said? Do you really consider me…your son?"
"I could never consider you anything less, Sasuke. You've held a special place in me for a long time, but today, I truly realized just how special that place was. Not only do I consider you my son, I would love for you to really become my son. I would love to be your dad, if you would let me. I really do you love you." I smiled wider, tears still falling down my cheek. Now was Sasuke's turn to be speechless, but it only lasted a moment before another week smile came over him.
"T-that's good, because I love you too. I… I would really like that, if I had you as a dad."
And at that moment, I couldn't hold myself back, and with tears still falling, I got up from my seat, and I reached forward, embracing Sasuke in my arms. I had to be careful, knowing how delicate he was right now. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't stop myself from embracing him. I poured my feelings into just that little bit of contact. And to think, hours ago, I feared that if I let him go, that I would never get him back. Now, I never wanted to let him go again. I just wanted to keep him close like that forever. He seemed taken of guard by my actions, but after a moment, regardless his lack of strength, he lifted his arms and returned the embrace. Never before had I felt so close to Sasuke. I'll never forget that day, the day I gained a son, and almost lost him just as quickly. I came so close to losing Sasuke, and a piece of myself with him.
-End
-Amaterasu333
I hope you guys enjoyed. I was a little unsure about the end, but after a bit of trial and error, I was satisfied. I just hope you guys enjoyed. For a split moment though, I really had the sudden urge to end this tragically, with at some point there is a small time skip of a few weeks, and Kakashi is staring at Sasuke's name on the Memorial Stone. It was just too painful though. I didn't have the guts for it. I just couldn't do it. Are you guys mad? Ahh well. I'm sorry. Congratulation for those who like happy endings, though.
Thank you all for reading. Please, please, review if possible. I would really love all of your opinions on this little short two-shot project. Even if reviews are bad, that's okay. I don't mind criticism. I want to improve. Anything is helpful. Thank you all again.