"Fuck..."
Sasuke twisted around on his sheets, trying to find a more comfortable sleeping position.
A small rustling noise made him twitch as his body moved.
It was all clear to him that the true reason for his insomnia was a different one, the diaper between his legs felt distubingly wrong, it was impossible to close his legs and most of all: the noise.
No matter how much he tried to lay completly still, he just couldn`t do it.
And when he moved - no matter how minor that movement was - the rustling and crackling noise of the diaper penetrated his ears, driving him mad.

How was he supposed to sleep ? It seemed impossible in his current condition. The unfamiliar object on his body kept him awake and that wasn`t all, the events of the past day haunted his mind as he was trying to fall asleep...it seemed impossible to banish these memories from his head; the horror as he woke up last morning and discovered the shameful accident, followed by another incident while showering, then the ultimate humilitation with the Hokage...and finally the discussion with the Blonde, who just refused to leave until he started to BEG him.
It was unworthy for an Uchiha to act like that...and even worse, that Jerk now knew that something was wrong.
And he knew Naruto enough, that boy would try everything to find out what "secret" Sasuke was trying to hide.
There was no question that he couldn`t allow this to happen.
Absolutly not.

A quick glance on the glowing digits of his alarm clock let him realize it was past midnight already.
So that meant two hours had passed since he went to bed.
Two hours he didn`t managed to fall asleep.
If he could just remove that "protection" from his crotch, it would be much easier to sleep without the annoying pressure.
But what solution would that be, leading to just another wet bed in the morning ?
No...he couldn`t do that. He just had to endure it and eventually he would get used to the diaper.

"Getting used to them ? Really ? That`s so pathethic..."
The darker side of him pushed itself into attention again.
"Why don`t you give up and kill yourself right now ? It would be better for your deceased parents, much better than having a pathethic, bedwetting weakling as son!"
That voice...he had no willpower left to deal with it now, he could only lay there and listen to his inner self mocking him.
"This is what you get from becoming too soft - I said it all the time, I always knew it would end badly if you don`t focus on your goal. YOU have dishonored your entire family."
His head started to hurt from the battle raging in his own mind...he felt sick, so really extremly sick right now. Sick of himself, how he had made a fool of himself today. Sooner or later it would all come out - he couldn`t even imagine the reactions of the other people.
It was true: he was a disgrace, no other words could describe it.

The nausea suddenly started to become worse, his whole body felt rotten and dirty now.
He couldn`t stand this any longer...
In the next moment he felt the stronge urhe to throw up going through his body...and it was becoming stronger very quickly.
"Fuck!" The Uchiha jumped up and rushed out the door as fast he could, he HAD to reach the bathroom or else...

-

Finally it became better, the horrid and disgusting aftertaste of his own vomit was almost gone now, after he had drunk a ludicrous amount of water from the sink, just to wash the taste away. It may had worked, but combined with his "problem", drinking large amounts of liquid...definitly wasn`t a good idea. The only thing to do, was to hope this wouldn`t lead to another...incident.
Slowly he rised his head, watching his own image in the mirror above the sink.
The face he saw there looked more dead than alive; pale, slightly green-ish skin, dark rings under his eyes, his hair uncombed and chaotic.
He couldn`t even remember when he looked so utterly bad the last time...probably because there hadn`t been another situation like this before.
A sigh escaped his lips and he shook his head slowly;
What should he do now ?
It was still the middle of night and he still felt incredibly tired and sick...but he knew, sleep was impossible as long he was wearing that...thing.

Right now, his entire life seemed like a horrible nightmare, all that constant fear about anyone else noticing his problem, combined with his own disgust about his failure and weakness...well, it just HAD to have some effect, right ?
He knew, best thing he could do was getting used to it, at least till Tsunade would come up with a proper solution.
But no matter how much he tried to accept that flaw, his pride just wouldn`t allow him, instead he started to feel disgust about his own self.

The Uchiha took another glance into his undead-looking face, the sight itself made him shiver.
What he needed most, was some fresh air...to get his head clear and maybe a short walk outside would finally make him tired enough so he could actually sleep afterwards.
But he definitly wouldn`t go out with these diapers.
Sure, it was about one in the morning now, chance he would run into anyone out on the streets was low, very low.
But there was no way he would risk himself being seen in such "protection", which was still very visible, even with pants covering them.

So he ripped the tapes open, sliding the soft, crackling object down his legs, kicking it into the nearest trash can.
Not that they were wet already - at least THAT was some relief - but he surely wouldn`t wear the same pair again, later when he was coming back.
Finally he pulled his shorts back up, feeling much better now, without that unfamiliar something between his legs.
Sasuke headed downstairs, through all the dark and empty corridors until he reached the main door, ready to get some fresh, nightly air...

-

It definitly had been a good idea.
Even the nauseous background feeling in his head was now almost completly gone.
With every step he made, life seemed to come back to his tired body.
It just felt so good, refreshing and soothing to his nerves.
Slowly he wandered down the dim-lit road, letting his eyes wander through the nightly sky.
It was a peaceful night, no one else seemed to be outside at a time like that.
It surely was a welcome change to the loud and busy streets during daytime...it showed how even such a large village like Konoha had it`s quiet hours.
Sasuke still prefered to stay away from the larger main streets, there was still some chance he would encounter someone on their way home from the bar - most likely drunk.
And he hated drunk people; they were noisy, aggressive and all in all VERY annoying, the exact opposite of what he needed right now.
That was why he prefered to walk on the less busy side streets, the possibility to meet another person here had to be almost zero.

He went around a corner to another road, just as he noticed someone else in front of him.
Worse enough until he realized it wasn`t just SOMEone.
"Please not...", he moaned in his thoughts, biting lis lip as the other person stared at him.

"Sa...Sasuke-kun ?" The pink-haired girl blushed brightly as she saw her crush standing in front of her, appearantly very suprised to see her. "You came here to visit me ?"

How could he forget that ? This was the street where Sakura lived, right now they were right next to her house...an area he usually avoided - for several very good resons.
And now he almost walked directly into her, making her think he came here just to see her - a fatal misunderstanding.
Better to get out of here fast...
"Just lost something...never mind..." he said in a toneless voice, turning around as he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"N-no Sasuke, please...don`t go away!" She blushed even more, feeling nervous and scared - this was such a perfect chance, she couldn`t let it pass.
"You want to come in ? You look hungry..."

"Don`t touch me."
As much he tried not to hurt her normally, his nerves were already worn-out from thinking about his own problems.
He just had no patience left for her naive fascination about him. Why couldn`t she just leave him alone ?
"I`m going now and you won`t follow, is that clear ?"

"B-but...no...you don`t have to leave, it`s alright...you came here because of me...you don`t have to lie about this..."
She tried to show a smile, but her nervousness was too great...there was just no logical reason why he came here in the middle of night...except to see her.
And that meant...he felt something for her ?
Quickly she grabbed his hand, holding it tight...
"Oh Sasuke, I know how you feel...youre too shy to admit it...but that`s okay, I-"

"Don`t you LISTEN ? I said don`t touch me!"
He pulled his hand away from her grip, now staring at her in anger.
"Are you really so stupid ? Or just blind ? I don`t care about you and what you feel for me. I told you several times already but you just keep asking. So let`s make this clear once and for all: Get lost!"
He felt tempted to yell the last two words into her shocked face, but this would just attract too much attention.
All he wanted was to be left alone.

A small tear ran down her cheek, followed by a small sob.
Why he had to be so mean ? She had no evil intentions, all she wanted was to make her Sasuke happy.
But his only reaction was cold rejection.
"Why are you so mean ? Sasuke-kun, am I not good enough for you ? Tell me, why don`t you love me ?"
Oh she didn`t wanted to cry now, but the tears just kept flowing.

He was just about to unleash another load of his anger at her - to make his point absolutly clear - appearantly she still hadn`t understood.
But suddenly he felt a spurt of warm wetness escaping into his pants.
"No!"
Just no, this couldn`t be happening. Not now!
Panic filled his mind and he looked down on himself, noticing a coin-sized wet spot on the front of his shorts.
And right in that moment, another spurt left his penis, larger than the first and the wetness spread a little more.
He was frozen in shock, unable to move - this was a disaster.

Her eyes had noticed the small dark spot as well, and she also saw the wetness spreading, the stain growing slowly.
"Sasuke...you`re not...peeing your pants now, right ?"
But it seemed like he did...and he wasn`t even trying to stop, he just stood there with a shock on his face.
Was that really Sasuke ? THE awesome and cool Sasuke she loved ?
Someone like him...wetting his pants ?
No! This just couldn`t be true...

It was too late. He still couldn`t move, and even if he could - his bladder now finally gave in, releasing all the water he had drank before - in form of warm urine, now soaking his shorts and running down his shivering, supple legs...soon everything below his waist turned into a warm and wet mess...

"How PATHETHIC!"
Sakuras voice had changed - her disbeliefed shock was over, now she just felt utter disgust.
Or rather spitefulness - after he hurt her so much and rejected her over and over, NOW he finally tasted some humiliation himself.
All that emotional pain he caused her, this was his well-deserved punishment.
"Poor Sasuke...can`t even hold your waters ? And you used to tell ME that I am weak ? Look at yourself and your piss-wet pants..."
The nasty smile she had on her lips grew even wider now, however, in the moment of triumph she didn`t notices the Uchihas hand coming closer to her throat.

Within a swift moment he managed to press her against the wall behind, holding her in place with his shaking hand.
What now ? Should he actually kill her, going that far to keep his secret safe ? Was it really worth it ?
But then again, she just saw something so utterly shameful and pathethic, she saw him...wetting his pants right in front of her.
Sasuke felt his fear growing out of control; what should he do ?
He had no solution for his problem, no plan at all.
It made the helpless feeling even worse, his usually calm and foresighted self was now trapped in a circle of fear and shame.
"Y-you w-wont tell a-anyone!"
His voice was shaking as he spoke, trying to make himself sound dangerous and cold...
"You will f-forget what you saw tonight. Never talk about it again, not to me and not to anyone else.
I promise I kill you...even if that means I would have to flee from here, even if it makes me an outlaw. I dont care about the consequences, so keep your mouth shut! Is that clear ?"
The words didn`t sounded nearly as threatening as he wanted them to be, but they seemed to do their job as he notices Sasuke nodding slowly, her eyes widened in shock...yes, he could definitly see panic inside of them.
The same panic he felt now.
Maybe it would really keep her quiet...but what if not ?
Was he really able to make his threat true ?
After some hesitation he let her go, immediatly turning around and walking off, the soaking wet fabric of his shorts clinging to his skin as he moved - disgusting.
Hopefully he would make it back home without being seen by anyone else.
Because he no longer had any strength left...no strength and no willpower...

As he walked back, the old doubts and fears came back to his mind.
In the end, Sakura was right: He WAS indeed pathethic.
A loser who couldn`t even control his own body - and not only that, now he even lost the last bit of dignity inside him.
If things would keep up like this, he could no longer go out.
Too great the risk of having another shameful accident.
Not to mention what would happen if the next time it would happen in an even more public area...like on a busy street in the middle of the day.
What was he supposed to do then ? It wasn`t like he could threaten every single inhabitant of the village with death.
So, one thing was indeed certain: If this would happen again, it would be the end.
His end.
Because he didn`t wanted to live with such a shame...he would just give up.
The only thing he could do was to avoid any more witnesses of his weak "moments" ...just how long would he be able to keep this up ?

The large wooden doors of the Uchiha Mansion fell shut behind him, he had made the way back and also felt the cold wetness cling to his legs again.
But at least he was tired now. Not a good way of tired though...but hopefully it would let him sleep.
He removed his soaked pants, putting them to the other laundry - the sheets from the previous night, trace of his first accident.

Minutes later and after changing into a new pair of diapers, he fell into his bed and not much later into a deep, dark sleep.