LOVE AND CREEPY RADISHES
A Sengoku BASARA / Persona 4 crossover.

A/N: ...I'm not even going to try and explain what this all means. Seriously. This was born out of Plurk madness and how manry Kanji and Masamune are. Shout-out to Jae and Cal - RP buddies who were present at the time of this fic's birth (and in many ways are also very responsible for conceiving it). You guys are awesome ;)

Summary: Kanji and Masamune are bonding over cabbages. Only bromance is allowed.

Pairing: How troublesome.

Rating: Put your guns on.

"Why the hell are you so tall?" Masamune notices this right away. The samurai's nose scrunches up slightly as he stares at the teenager crouched on the ground, as if his life depended on it. Kanji looked back and raised his eyebrow at him.

"Okay, I'm crouching, dude."

"Hah. So what?"

"...Never mind. Fuckin' weirdo."

Masamune removed his helmet and shook his head slightly. Kanji immediately noticed how the sweat flew against the cool breeze, and how the sudden slow-motion movement brought upon a hordes of raging hormones (also called fangirls) in the background. They were promptly removed by that guy who kept calling himself Masamune's 'Right Eye' before Masamune himself could notice the ruckus.

Kanji rolled his eyes and went back to his work. Masamune didn't have a right eye, so Kanji wasn't entirely sure what the fancy name calling was for. But hey, whatever, right?

"Tch, are you gonna help me here, or what?" The blond teenager stood up full height, scowling at his older companion. He may or may not have tried to shake his head just like Masamune did, but there was no slow-motion and hordes of girls usually flocked to his Senpai and not him, so. Never mind that.

Masamune crossed his arms. "Give me one good reason why I should."

Kanji crossed his arms back. "You want these cabbages to wilt? It's a million degrees out here!"

"..."

Masamune's face held a look of pure what-the-fuckery. Kanji thought he looked rather constipated, but that's only because Masamune punched him in the gut yesterday for almost tripping on his swords. Asshole. He almost tripped. Big deal. That Yukimura guy plays around with them when Masamune wasn't around, and okay sure they beat each other up pretty badly afterwards that Kanji almost wants to yell out "GET A DAMN ROOM!" -

- anyway, that look. Kanji really didn't get it. Maybe it was a one-eye thing.

"What? The hell you starin' at?" Kanji subconsciously flexed.

"You're an idiot. Those are radishes." Masamune walked up to him and pulled one out of the ground.

"D-Don't call me that!" Kanji grabbed one out of the ground too. "It's a goddamn cabbage. I know my vegetables."

"It's a radish. Kojuuro brings a lot of these back home, all the time. You see?" Masamune holds it up higher. "Radish."

Kanji almost thrusts the vegetable into his face. "Clean out your other eye, it's a cabbage! Look at it, it's completely obvious what the hell it is! 's wrong with you?" Masamune grimaced.

"That one eye thing is getting pretty old, punk."

"Well maybe if you stopped tryin' to pick a damn fight with me all the time and just admit this is a damned cabbage, I wouldn't have to call you out like that!"

Masamune stepped up to him, nose to nose.

"Maybe if you stopped losing to those fights..."

Kanji looked down on him rather fiercely.

"Say that again."

Masamune grinned evilly.

"What a loser, can't even win a single fight with somebody with one eye."

Kanji looked like he was going to explode.

"It's. a. cabbage."

"Radish. Ra. Dish." Kanji made a mental note to tell him to say it, not spray it next time. Before he could retort back however, Masamune thrust the said vegetable back into his face and, well. He was met with a face as well. And it wasn't Masamune's face. It was just...a face. Seemingly etched into the vegetable. If Kanji thought Masamune looked constipated before, now he saw the real face of constipation.

Kanji stepped back. It was rather frightening the way its face was shaped and the way its eyes were half-staring and half-beady. His eyebrow twitched.

"Whoa. Okay fine, you win. I-It's a radish."

Masamune grinned again. "Damn straight, I win. Kojuuro does all that farming work but the One-Eyed Dragon knows when he sees a - "

He brings up the vegetable to his own face and his grin falls.

" - Hah?"

"Y-Yeah, like I said. You win. Take your stupid radish." Kanji threw the vegetable in his hand to Masamune, who promptly dodged it like it was a plague.

"I thought it was a cabbage? You don't have any conviction, boy!" Masamune threw the vegetable back to Kanji, who also dodged it though he did it with less grace.

"GAH! I don't want anythin' to do with that! Here, take it dammit!" Throws back. The face remains.

"Tch, you call yourself a man - " Throws back harder.

"I am, so shut the hell up and take your radish!" Throws back even harder.

"Real men don't throw like little six-year old village girls!" Masamune throws it back with lightning.

Kanji is unaffected. "Bitch, don't make me stuff this down your goddamn throat!" Throws back with his own brand of lightning. Masamune too, is unaffected.

"What'd you call me?" A fierce growl later and the vegetable is thrown with such force that it seemingly broke the sound barrier. No sound could be heard between the two men, only their sweat and tears and blood was seen in the maelstrom that was their manly, testosterone-filled fury.

Kanji's bluff was called sooner than later. Masamune had his right hand grappling with Kanji's right hand, while both their hands were busy stuffing the mysterious, face-vegetable in each other's mouths. They were stuck in that deadlock for quite some time before Kanji choked on the vegetable. Masaune laughed for a bit until Kanji turned purple, unto which Masamune pulled him up by the arm and gave him his version of the Heimlich - a sturdy kick to the back. Kanji screamed for a bit, because he could have sworn the face was now etched into his tongue, and before Masamune could wrestle some sense into him, Kojuuro came and told them the said vegetable was a carrot.

Masamune grinned. So did Kanji.

"Alright."

"Hear that? It's a damned carrot."

"It's an eggplant."

"CARROT, YOU ASS!"

"Is that where you want to be kicked today? Then it's a party!"

The vegetable's face sighed. Why did nobody understand he was a fruit?

END.

Note: The face on the vegetable is the same face you see in Matsu's ending CG movie. The one in the pot. Yes. That one.