Girly

A/N: So I was watching the second season of Hannah Montana, and I totally fell in love with Oliver/Mitchel Musso. And after watching a couple of episodes, I noticed that for a guy, Oliver sometimes did very feminine things, or over-emphasised his masculinity, like he might have been trying to cover up his feminine side. It was always played for laughs, but I thought that maybe Oliver might angst himself to sleep at night over his being girly by guy standards, and this fic was born. (I just love angst and hurt/comfort fics. They make for such good reading if they're done well, and the really good ones literally make my heart ache.)

IMPORTANT NOTE/S: When I wrote this fic, I had only seen seasons 1 and 2 of Hannah Montana (I have now seen up to half of season 4). This fic is set in season 2 (possibly in the episodes 'Cuffs Will Keep Us Together', when Miley and Oliver get their nails done, or 'Hannah In The Street With Diamonds', the episode when Oliver dresses up in his mother's security uniform with the 'Nancy Oken' nametag. Maybe even the episode 'Me and Rico Down By the School Yard', when Oliver wears fake muscles.) This does not continue for season 3, since Oliver starts dating Lilly and changes a little, but enough to leave this fic in 2 territory, and not 4, cause Oliver's off touring… I MISS YOU OLIVER.

For a guy, Oliver considered himself to be rather feminine.

Especially when he compared himself to his mother.

Or even other guys.

For instance, the time when Miley was fighting with Lilly, she had dragged him along to get their nails done, and Oliver had enjoyed the experience far more than he would ever let on. And almost immediately after that, when Miley was drooling over Richard Bruce's eyes, Oliver had agreed and added 'that blue top really makes them pop', and then covered up, shocked at himself, and deeply ashamed.

Sometimes, lying awake in bed at night when he was supposed to be asleep, Oliver compared himself to his mother, and sometimes came close to crying (another girly trait) when he inevitably came to the conclusion that his mother was more masculine than he was. She used her 'man voice' all the time, although Oliver had claimed it was only when she got angry in an effort to save face. A policewoman who was far tougher than him, the only thing Oliver figured was more masculine about him was his name.

When Miley got herself worked up about the placement of her diamond on the Hollywood Parade of Diamonds, and made Oliver dress up in his mother's uniform with her nametag reading 'Nancy Oken', he had sadly thought that that name probably suited him better, considering how girly he was. Heaven knew a name like Oliver probably suited her better than it ever would him. He had indignantly covered up in front of Randall Garrison, the committee president, but that night, Oliver had stayed up till all hours, lying awake, wondering if he would have been better off if he had been born a girl. At least he wouldn't have to cover his shame at being more feminine than a guy should be.

Another thing that Oliver was deeply ashamed about was the time he, Lilly, Miley, and Lilly's then-boyfriend Lucas had gone out to dinner to catch Lucas in the act of cheating, and an annoying grandmother had mistaken Oliver for Natalie Portman (and had taken an embarrassing photo with 'Natalie' to boot; him with a mouthful of chocolate cake). That was something Oliver wouldn't let himself forget either; being mistaken for a girl.

And not long ago, Oliver had also come to the conclusion that his personality was largely composed of traits that were considered girly. He liked to talk a lot (generally considered a teenage-girl thing), and his two best friends were both girls. Even Lilly was more masculine than him, her being a skater girl. Coming to this realisation, Oliver felt worse than ever. He sometimes wondered if he could ask Miley or Lilly if they thought he was girly (not straight out, but somehow word it so he got an answer without betraying his shameful thoughts). But what if they answered yes? If they did answer yes, Oliver didn't know if he could live with himself. Oliver might think he was girly, but to know others thought it too would take it to a whole new level.

He could just imagine the teasing he would get from his (few) guy friends. Not to mention that the rest of the school would give him hell. On his first day of high school with Lilly and Miley, Oliver had even gone as far as to wear fake muscles, although that night, he put them on again, and, when he looked in the mirror, he immediately threw them in the bin, and didn't get any sleep at all that night. He had spent that particular night mentally beating himself up for being stupid enough to wear fake muscles that looked really fake, and for being girly enough to resort to such desperate measures. The only crumb of comfort was when he went to school the next day, and no one seemed to either remember or notice the difference. Oliver didn't think he'd ever let himself forget that; it was just so embarrassing.

Settling down to sleep, Oliver snuggled his teddy bear (very girly AND childish) and tried not to think.