Two

…

Blair had spent the last day and half since Chuck Bass came back to town setting up camp in her bedroom. She had repeatedly told herself for those last 30 hours that she was not hiding, she was certainly not being a coward, and she was definitely not running away from the truth.

No, she was just taking some time to ingest the new change in her life that the reappearance of one of her former best friends was causing. What she was meant to be doing in her room was having a cleanse, clearing her mind of anything Chuck Bass related that went further than simply friendship.

In other words, she was attempting to force herself not to think about Chuck so that eventually she'd be able to do it naturally. Unfortunately all she could think about was how she couldn't think about Chuck and so she ended up thinking about Chuck and confusing herself in the process.

It been easy when he went away to not think about him because she knew then she wouldn't be able to run into him at Constance, or down the road at the Palace. She'd never have to come face to face with him again or deal with what she – well they – had done.

Of course it hasn't been painless straight away, when she'd first heard he'd left straight after they'd done it she'd been furious, angry, sad, relieved, every emotion under the sun. But really she'd just been upset, she'd given him something she'd valued for all her life and he'd took it with him, and his stupid arse all the way to Connecticut and she could never ask for it back (a small part of her that she chose to ignore knew that she'd never want it back).

If it had been hard when he'd been away, she could only imagine how hard it would now be having to see him every day and having to live with the reality of what had transpired between them. Over what that night might or might not have made her feel for him.

She'd been sitting on her back on her bed staring at the ceiling for god knew how long, pillow clutched to her chest and legs bent when three short taps sounded from the door and she came crashing back down to reality.

She wouldn't be able to hide for forever.

"For the last time Dorota." Blair sighed, she threw the pillow back onto the floor hazardously, and got up to her feet with a loud huff to illustrate her annoyance, "I'm not hungry right now, come back later."

She walked up to her mirror and sat down at it, picking up her hair brush and deciding that if she was to ever go downstairs she'd have to look at least a little presentable so her mother didn't have a fit when she got home.

The door creaked open behind her and she scowled furiously, throwing herself around on the chair only to stop in her tracks when her eyes connected with the person at her door, not her maid but a boy. The exact boy she was trying to get away from. With no luck obviously.

"Uh." Chuck stuttered uncharacteristically, he broke off their intense gaze and ran a hand through his hair, "Dorota's not here, I think she went out."

Blair forced her chin to move a fraction up and then down before she let out a long sigh, standing up from her mirror and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She knew what impression her body language was giving and that was exactly the impression she was aiming for.

She couldn't have Chuck Bass anywhere near her.

"What are you doing here Chuck?" She asked, a small gulp passing her throat.

"Well." Chuck shrugged, furthering himself into the room and then closing the door behind him causing her to open her mouth in protest but think better of it. He couldn't know what being in a closed of room with him was doing to her, how just the thought of it was making her heart race uncontrollably. He finally turned around to her with a pointed look, "You've been avoiding me Waldorf."

She rolled her eyes and looked away from him hoping that her cheeks weren't flaming red, though she could practically feel them burning through her porcelain skin, "What makes you think that?"

"I got back back two days ago and I've seen you exactly once." Chuck told her, "You've been inside in your room for exactly that period and I know you hate being indoors for longer than necessary."

"You don't know anything about me." Blair snapped, "And you made god damn sure you never would the moment you walked out of town Chuck, so excuse me for not welcoming you back with open arms after you walked out me."

A thick silence cut through the air and inside she was seriously scolding herself. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted to happen. She was not getting neck-deep into Chuck again, she couldn't show him how much he had hurt her. And yet she just had.

"You wanted me to leave." He finally said, causing her eyes to snap back up to his, mouth parting slightly in upset.

"What?" She stuttered.

"I woke up the next morning, you were gone. You'd just took of in the middle of the night and left, so I came looking for you." Chuck crossed the distance between them causing her to take a few steps back which he scoffed at, "Don't act like you wanted me here Blair, you obviously thought I was the biggest mistake of your life."

"You had no way of knowing that!" She insisted.

"I found you at Nathaniel's, making up with him." Chuck's face was one of complete and utter disgust, "Don't act like I don't know you Blair, I do. I know you better than I know myself. You hated yourself, and me for what we did. You hated yourself for ruining the perfect fairytale you had with Nate, and I hated myself for doing that to you to. Because we were friends Blair."

"Friends don't abandon friends!" Blair cried, running a hand through her own hair, "You don't just leave without saying goodbye Chuck."

"I did for you!" Chuck persisted, "I was trying to let you have your fairytale, and I thought it would be easier for us if I left. You and Nate would get back together, live happily ever after, and I would have just been an invisible blip in your radar."

She let her chest heave up and down slowly absorbing his words before she spoke carefully, "Except it wasn't rainbows and bliss was it? My father left my mother for a 37 year old model. Male model. I had cheated on my boyfriend, my mother was a boarder-line alcoholic, and Serena was too busy running around after Georgina and going to court-hearings after helping some guy overdose. I needed someone and you weren't there. No one was. You think that was a good time to up and leave Chuck?"

"I didn't know those things would happen Blair!" He maintained but his voice cracked slightly and he let out a shaky breathe.

"You could have come back. I needed my friend, and he'd left me. You could have come back then and you didn't, you come back now. Why? Why come back now when everything is finally getting back to normal, now I've finally picked up my own pieces? Because I'm finding it hard to believe that you've come back for me, when you certainly didn't before."

He let a small gulp pass through him, his eyes roaming hers before casting off to the left, his lips pursing, "Your right I'm not back for you. I just missed it here, I guess. Missed my family, friends. You."

Blair bit her bottom lip lightly and found it hard to swallow.

"We missed you too Bass. Me, Serena and Nate." The words passed out of her lips before she could stop them and she saw Chuck recoil slightly at the mention of Nate's name.

"This is really fucked up Blair, me, you, Nathaniel." He told her, "I just want us to move past what happened."

"You think we can?" She asked quietly, and he sighed looking up to her ceiling in exasperation.

"I'll go back to being the womanizing arse hole you call a friend, if you'll let me make not being here up to you. And you can go back to being Blair Waldorf, unattainable girl."

Blair licked her lips slightly, eyebrows furrowing at his words, "Is that all you think of me?"

"What would you want me to think of you Blair?" He asked, turning his head back to hers and she suddenly realized how close they were. Their lips centimeters apart, "Tell me, Blair, and we'll be having a whole different discussion."

"I… I – I can't." She finally let out, moving away from him. Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate. Running through her head, "You're right. We should just try and get things normal again."

He refused to look at her, and she was glad. Locking eyes with him again was bound to lead to something that just couldn't.

"I'll see you around." Chuck nodded primly and then left the room in such a hurry it took her a moment to process that he was actually gone, moving over to the bed and sitting down on it to stop herself swaying, her mind reeling.

…

"What's on your mind."

"Hm?" Blair rose her face from her hand, leaned on the table with her elbow and turned to Nate with a confused expression on her face, "Oh I'm sorry hunny, I was miles away."

Nate smiled gently stretching out his hand and rubbing her face gently, "What's on your mind."

She shook her head lightly, looking back down to her plate of salad and decided to shove another piece of lettuce into her mouth to stop herself from blurting out exactly what had been plaguing her mind for the past year since that night at the Sheppard's wedding.

Nate furrowed his eyebrows slightly, looking between her and her plate and then moved his hand down towards her hand and gripped it in his to still her movement of shoving even more green stuff into her mouth.

"Blair, talk to me." He stressed, and she turned to look into his concerned blue eyes and her heart clenched, "Come on, you've barely eaten anything all day and now your just having salad and you're being really quiet, and sad. Tell me what's wrong."

Blair clenched her teeth together, her eyes roaming Nate's wondering whether she should tell him, what she should tell him. Would she just tell him about that night only? She surely couldn't tell him about the fact that she actually felt something for his bestfriend.

She looked down from Nate's eyes slowly and heaved a deep breathe, "You're right, I need to tell you something." Her voice broke suddenly and she knew exactly what was happening. She knew it would happen the moment she woke up the next morning with Chuck dropped all over her and 9 missed calls from Nate. He'd never forgive her, he'd never see her, talk to her or want her again. It was over, her fairytale was done for.

When she looked back up she saw Nate had recoiled some. Usually he wasn't exactly the brightest tool in the bunch and never usually caught on quickly but this time he'd obviously been able to sense Blair's body language and tone. He knew before she'd even told him.

"This is about him isn't it?" Nate finally managed to say, a small gulp passing through his throat, "Oh stop looking at me like that Blair, just spit it out."

Blair shrinked back slightly at the anger already showing through in his voice and licked her lips letting out uneven breaths, "I'm so sorry."

Nate suddenly got up from the table, pushing his chair back loudly and cursed whilst throwing his napkin down, "You can't even tell me can you."

"Nate…" Blair protested jumping to her feet and trying to catch his hand, "Please."

He shrugged her off though and took a few feet back much to Blair's dismay and she ran a hand through her hair, "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Didn't mean for what to happen?" Nate stressed, he looked her straight in the eye and she cringed. She's never seen his eyes that dark before in her life and she's known him since kindergarden, "You kissed him didn't you."

Tears trickled down her eyes and she forced herself to nod.

"God!" Nate cried, his fist hitting the wall near him, "That's not it though is it Blair? I knew it, I knew there was something wrong. He just left without a word, that's not Chuck. He leaves sure, he runs as fast as his feet can carry him, but he always comes back with his tail tucked between his legs after a few weeks, a few months or at least sends us a freaking postcard. But not this time, no, he was busy fucking my girlfriend to tell me where the fuck he was going."

"Nate!" Blair cried, he was too angry, too upset. Much more upset than she'd ever seen him, "It wasn't like it. It was mistake ok?"

She knew those words weren't true and she feared he did too with the expression in his eyes. She'd been drunk for sure, and she'd been mad at him and her mother and Serena that night and it had all piled up, but she had known what she was doing when she gave herself to Chuck, they both had really. No amount of alcohol would have made her loose her virginity to anyone else that night, it was because it was Chuck that was there – it had always been Chuck there to pick up the pieces (and then he just left).

"You were acting weird, and I put two and two together I did." Nate continued regardless, "Call me dumb cos of the fact my hair's golden but trust me when I saw I knew. But then all that shit with your family happened and I figured maybe you're just upset because of that. And maybe Chuck's gone because he's not as good a friend we thought he was. Well, I was wrong about all that wasn't I? Except for Chuck, he's the fucking worst friend ever. You both are! You were meant to be my bestfriends."

Nate's voice suddenly cracked and Blair felt herself sink even lower with guilt.

"I'm so sorry, please Nate, believe me, we didn't mean for it to happen. You'd just broken my heart and I made a decision I was in no position to make." She cried.

"We had a fight Blair. One fight!" Nate suddenly yelled, "And don't you pretend to me that it meant nothing, I have eyes, I see you two, the way you interact with each other, the way he looks at you, like you're some god-damn pure-white angel! Well you're not, you've got red all over you after stomping all over my freaking heart!"

Blair couldn't hold back the sob's that ripped through her body at Nate's words because God he was right.

"What can I do Nate? Just tell me what to do to fix this."

"You can't fix this." Nate shook his head, "I just want to go."

"No." Blair cried, but her voice was weak, childlike. She sounded absolutely helpless, "No, Nate please."

"I said go Blair. I can't see you right now! I can't even look at you!" Nate's finger shot up and pointed to the door, "Get out!"

She scampered backwards, grabbing her bag and then headed towards the door because she had to. Because the look in his eyes held no resemblance to the Nate she knew and loved.

"One more thing." Nate suddenly growled as Blair's hand grabbed the door handle and twisted it, "You tell that son of a bitch to watch his back."

Blair shivered slightly at the edge to Nate's voice and she turned around momentarily to see him, standing at the other side of the room looking completely and utterly broken.

"It's still Chuck, Nate." She finally spoke, softly, "Please don't do something you'll regret."

She left before he had a chance to speak and then broke down on the other side of the door.

…

She looked an absolute mess, mascara all over her face, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail and completely soaked because it was raining outside and she had decided to walk through it and drown in her misery and feel pathetic for herself.

About half an hour later, shoes now in her hands because the hells caused her to slip twice, and looking very little like the Blair Waldorf she was supposed to be she turned up outside the Palace and stood looking up towards his room.

No, she thought, she shouldn't go up there.

She shouldn't go up there because she knew that the guy did to her. It hadn't been realized, or maybe even consciously realized, until the moment her lips touched his at the Sheppard's wedding, but now she knew, and she also knew she shouldn't be around him.

But there she was standing outside his father's hotel, staring at his room completely drenched making up half-hearted reasons as to why she should go up and see him (she always knew she would eventually). She was soaked and would probably catch pneumonia unless she dried off, she wanted to make sure he was ok after there chat, and most importantly she needed to tell him that Nate now knew. And she had no idea how he would react to that.

She knew one thing for sure though, it would be nothing compared to what she just went through with Nate.

So she went up, ignored the looks of the doorman at the sight of her (she did not look like Blair Waldorf), rode the elevator up and attempted – and failed – to not wet the floor too much, and then walked up to his door, knocking on it twice.

She could hear him switching off the TV and walking towards the door before pausing just before it. He must have seen her through the eye-hole and was deliberating whether or not to open the door and she feared that he really wouldn't, moments before it suddenly flew open and he stared at her with a sigh.

"Can I come in?" Blair asked, and she hated that her voice sounded fragile but that's exactly what she was at that moment. A complete wreck. Just like she had been for the last few months, except this time her rock was back and she had gone straight back to leaning against it – or rather him.

"Yeah." Chuck finally agreed, moving to the side and indicating for her to go through, "What happened Blair?"

He closed the door behind him and turned around to expect her again and she suddenly grew self-conscious.

"Can I have a shower first, I'm gonna catch my death."

He paused for moment, obviously fighting between making her tell him what happened first or letting her get warm first, finally he let his curiosity come second and nodded towards the bathroom door, "I'll bring you something of mine to get changed into."

Half an hour later and she was wrapped up in a pair of his plaid pajama's, hair scrapped back, sitting on his bed as he walked in with a tray full of food.

"Oh." She voiced as he joined her on the bed and placed the large tray between them, "I'm not hungry."

"Sure you're not. You're Blair Waldorf. But you look thin and like your about to faint so please don't insult the Palace's chief by saying that lobster pot-pie doesn't look amazing and you don't want to tuck into it, please."

She narrowed her eyes at him but Chuck just looked back down, picking up a fork and digging into what looked like vegetarian lasagna. After a full blown out minute of silent stares she looked down to the food and went red as she heard her own stomach rumble before muttering something as she grudgingly picked up a fork and stabbed the lobster, bringing it up to her mouth and forcing herself to take one bite after another.

"So." Chuck said after moments of eating in complete silence, he put his fork down, picking up a napkin and wiping his mouth, "What happened?"

Blair froze, her fork mid-way to her mouth and finally let out a small sigh, dropping it back down onto the dish and looking anywhere but him. She had gone there, she had known eventually she'd have to tell him, she just didn't know how.

So she just blurted it straight out, "I told Nate, and he was furious Chuck."

His mouth dropped ever so slightly before he frowned and exhaled sharply, "You told him? Well of course he was angry Blair we cheated on him."

"Oh you think I don't know that?" She made a face, moving off the bed, and then grabbed the food tray as she saw Chuck try to ignore her and go back to it, shoving it onto the top of the nearest small closet, "I'm sorry Chuck but he had to know."

"Did he?" Chuck voiced, turning slightly from his position on the bed to stare at her, "Why?"

"Because Chuck! Because you're back and it was gonna be weird, we were being dishonest and unfaithful and…" She was rambling she knew but she just couldn't stop, "Because he deserved to know. We're the two people in the world he should trust more than anything and we betrayed him, and it hurts me to know that I hurt him, but it's better than him never knowing. He deserved to know."

Chuck stared at her for a moment before sighing, and running a hand through his hair, "I know, I know, you're right."

She nodded, "Yes. I am, but I'm still sorry. Maybe we should have told him together."

"And given him an opportunity to throttle me? No thank you. It's better this way, we'll give him a chance to calm down and then we'll try to talk to him."

"You should have seen him Chuck, it was awful. I've never seen him act like that before." Blair shook her head furiously at the memory at the darkness in Nate's eyes, "I can't believe we hurt him like that."

Chuck pursed his lips, staring at her intently before getting off the bed and stepping towards her, far too close than she deemed acceptable.

"Why did you come here Blair?" He asked in a soft whisper.

"What? I.. I mean I – I came to tell you that and warn you." Blair stuttered before scoffing, "What, you don't want me here? You're gonna kick me in out into the rain in your pajamas?"

Chuck chuckled slightly, moving his hand up so it touched the side of her face, moving her hair behind her ear gently and Blair closed her eyes as she felt an electric purse shoot through her at the feel of his fingers on her skin.

"I just meant why here, why tonight, when you were so upset?" He asked.

She opened her eyes again and looked into his brown eyes intently before answering, "You know why. But… come on Chuck we can't do this to him."

"We already have." Chuck muttered, "And I don't want to run away from this anymore Blair. I lied before, when you asked why I came back. I did come back for you, because ever since I came back, ever since last year at the Sheppard's wedding, no, ever since we were fourteen years old and you came to school wearing that ridiculously covered up Constance outfit and red hair band and sat at the tallest met steps, I wanted you."

Her breathe grew uneven as she felt him move even closer to her, their lips centimeters apart, his warmth radiating onto her own body.

"Tell me you want me too." He whispered and she gulped audibly.

"I do but…"

His finger moved up to her mouth, "No buts. We've waited for so long to this, I'm through making excuses. This is right."

And he moved his finger away, not giving her a moments chance to protest – not that she was going to – before pushing his lips onto hers, and she could practically hear the fireworks explode around them.

…

A little longer this time because I made you guys wait so long, hopefully it was worth it. Thanks to all the feedback from the last one, it was lovely to read, and always motivates me!

Tell me what you think, press that little review button and I'll try to get the next chapter out faster :)

- Flo