A tale of Ekans
By BCTheENTITTIIY
CHap1
Once there was an Ekans, whio said 'Ekans' alot. He was walking along a road as usual, BUT JUST THEN!
"We are going to Stelix youruor!" said the Rocketer Man.
'Ekans, Ekans' said Ekans.
And then Ekans was kidnappped! OMG! HOW WILL HE SURVIVIE?
CHapppppp2
The Ekans was taken to the Rocket eichqueue, where the boss said, "You will fight for us Ekans, and we will rule planer!"
'Ekans,' said, Ekans.
"Then you must DEI" said the boss and shot lightning bolts at him from his Raychew.
'REICHHH' said the Raichu.
HOW IS EKANS GOING TO BEAT THIS?"?11
CHAPTER 3
'Ekans' said Ekans, who bit the Raich on it's anus.
'AAAAAAAMOTHERLAND' yelled Rachio as it lost energy and dead.
"Foolish Ekans!" yelled bopss! "You mau have beaten my Raichu, but now you will face SUPER POCKETMAN! GO SPL00ASHU!"
WHAT POKEMAN WILL BE FACE NECKS!
Chaptbn4
A MageCrap appeared, and slposhed waser over Ekans.
'Ekans, Ekans' said Ekans again as it punch the Magic with face.
'Maaaaaagecraaaaaa'
And then evolution occured as Magica turned into THE FUKING SNAKE DEMON
OH NOES! HOW WILL EKANS REMAIN UNDEAD?
Chapter 5k, which is the final battle
Ekans chose to fly at the Doom snaasks, which wasa ripoff of itself, but was easily beaten due to lake of sizing.
'Ekans' said Ekans,. Who had to resort to it's true form, and use Harden on itself. The Ekans turned into a rock, and then the rock broke...
'METAL GEAAAAAAAAAAR'
ANOTHER TWIST IN PLOTTING!
Chapte 6
The Ekans had turnw into a gear, and was now owningh snake evil creature.
'METAL GEAR' yelled the no-longer-anEkan sas the snak died finall.
"FOOL! NOW I SHALL DEFEET YOU MYSLEF." said bos who webnt to gear and punch it.
'MEEEEEEEEETA:' goes gear as it went out of window. NOW WHAT
Chap sixpon7
The gearr flew o0ut of wibnd as it tunr bac kinto Ekans.
'Ekaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans' it yeled as oblivinon went to it's eyes. Laetr, it woke up to find nothing bad happened.
'Ekans' sad it whilst it went to sad. It was sad because the boss had won it against.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN ENXLDT
Chap ACTUAL 7
Said Ekans as it went awak, 'Ekans'.
Then the Ekans found a RARE CANDIES, and ate it to hit them level 100.
'EKANS' said now gint Ekan, who attack base again to win battle agaion.
"FOOLISH SEXANS" yelled the boss who was now a robot. "I SHALL RAEB You."
WILL EKAN DEFACE THE BOOS ONCE AND FORTY
CH8 tos godi
The Ekans and ROBOT Boss figted for huors an d prostitures, who cheerd them for long area time.
"I AM UNBETABL:ES" said bosstrone as it threw yet mmmoadr tables at Ekans.
'Ekans' said Ekans again. It needed to true formd once meor, so it Harden, and 'METAL GEAR'
NOW WHOS MOR EPOWERR
Chapt 9 nowait10
The giant GEAR soon maneg to bomb bos in eye, which was it's strong –point, but critical failed and dealt 909099909090909909090 damage to it.
"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAND" yelled bosse scouter as robot explod.
'Ekans' yel;l;ed smallagainregularEkans, whith his free sex and stuff for winrar.
IS THIS IT THEN FOR EKAN
Chap ten 11
JUTS THEN, a new boss appear to tota;y own Ekans... BUT IT WAS A LEGND POKMAN.
'WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY' yelled legendary man.
'Ekans.' said Ekans back as it stealthily got crushed and die.
'WRRRYRYYRYRYRYY' said legend again t9o take over everything.
ARE WE ALL GOING DIE NOW?
C12
Ekans woke up ijn white void.
'Ekans' asked Ekans.
"Now you wioll be peacefgul" said God who was somewhere.
'Eeeeeeeekaaaaaaaans' complained it.
"No, you will be peace or HEL:L"
'EKANSSSS' Ekans screameed as it jumped from coulds. WHERE WILL IT LAND!
tyhrtirn
Ekans landed in fire, which was probably hell, but then a travel apear.
"Why are you in firevolcanoland" asked the travelling man.
'Wekans.'
"WEKANS! That awful! We must saverc you immediatdneyl"
WHAT WILL THEY DO NEXOW.
Chaptk 14
Ekans and travelr got on boat back to main land, where legnd bos was ruling as dick potato.
'WRYYYYYYY' contineu to yell the legdney pokcet.
'EKANS' yelled Ekans in dfeiance as it bit bos on it's face.
'WRYYYYYYYYYYYY' aid boss as transform into...
BUT WHAT DOES IT TRN INTOPY?
Five plus one is fffitben
The legdnmon turned into a copyEKANS.
'Ekans' yelled the fake Ekans.
'Ekans.' said the real Ekans back.
'EKANS!' said the fake Ekans again.
'ELASNSN' screamed back rwal Ekans in defi9ant.
'EKANAAAS' said attacking bad guy.
OH NO NOW WHAT
Sixten chapter
The Ekans dualed with many flase image, and bitings and food and stuff.
'Ekans' asidn one Ekans.
'Ekanansn' went other Ekans as copies went at the enemy.
'EKAAAAAAAAANS' screamed the Ekans as it finally die.
WHICH ONE ONE BATHEL
Seventytye
The sexfiends went to the last Ekansm, and deducked that it was real.
'Ekasn' said Ekans as it finally survived the battl;e.
"We must go and secks you no0w" said hot woman as sex occured
"NO, MY WOMEN" yelled an unseen voice.
WHO CIOUDL THAT Begj?br
Chap18
The Ekans looked to see the other Ekans still alive, like robot boss. Fromk game earlier
"I AM REAL" yelled the Ekans, revealing it was the real and the other one was dead.
'Ekans' said the Ekans.
"OH, DAMn." sauid the boss from first boss as it turned into the boss agion.
WHAT IS GOING NO"W TO OCCUR
Chap 19
The Ekans fought the boss oncer more, only stop to drink some water, as it was thirstfuil.
'Ekans' said Ekans again, whehn it used it's epic version of Hardening again...
'Ekans' said not the gear, buyt an Ekans made of gases.
"I AMS TILL UNDYABLE" said boss when it turned intp space demon. STAY CHEWNED.
Chap 20, which is final batlle for rea;
The Gas Ekans flew into space after space demon boss and fought it in ep[icat dueling.
"I AM SUPER GOD" yelled boss once more.
'EEEEEKAAAAAAAANS' yelled Ekans with it'#s final attack.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO" said boss as it exploded. Now the boss was dead for real, but so was the Ekans. It had big funeral, and was remember as heropic Ekans ever,. TEH EDN.
FINAL NOTS
This Ekans fis a very jero Ekans- ahemehm.
This is a troll fic - or, to be precise, a lampshading of the troll fic genre, if it can be called that. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you guys had as much fun reading it. Or you could spam it with reviews saying "it sucks balls" or "the most epic story EVER", but whatever. Also, I expect this will get removed within the day, but there have certainly been worse fics out there that have survived, so who knows?
Thanks for reading!
~BC