Disclaimer: Of course I don't own any of it. I just like messing with the characters. Some chapters loosely based on an Gilmore Girls.

Summary: Formally James Potter Must Die. In 1970s England, the Magical Monarchy might be coming undone with the rise of Voldemort who threatens currently ruling Potter line. A chance prank gone awry and a rumor taken too seriously ends with the engagement of one muggleborn Lily Evans to Prince James Potter. If the two can make people believe they're actually in love they could stop a war…if they aren't destroyed first.

A/N: And I'm back! A bit quicker than last time to with a name change and a bit of a polish. Noticing how much shinier everyone else's looked in terms of spelling and such, I decided to improve mine a bit. The title also went from James Potter Is a Dead Man to Not A Mouse Stirring. I'd wanted to change the title for a while only I hadn't found the proper one. I've also finally developed a bit of a story line so I kind of have some idea of where I want to go with this which I didn't before. I was mostly just writing nonsense.

In Chapter Nine we find our heroine, dearest Lily, off to face the 'sharks' as Sirius calls them at the Kings birthday dinner which consist of two, crotchety great aunts with old fashioned ideas. Then poor Lily must do battle with the Black sisters in a lake, whilst trying to breathe in a corset, ends up having a near death experience with mermaids, and saved by one Sirius Black.

Chapter Nine

Corsets and Other Things

The dress that Lily had decided to wear to the Kings birthday dinner was simple, short, and light green, which only seemed to enhance the color of her green eyes and red hair. The only jewelry she wore was a simple cross that her mother had given to her on her tenth birthday which was made of silver with a single diamond in the middle. The shoes she wore were ballet flats, and her hair was curled lightly so that it fell around the sides of her face. Her makeup was minimal and the end result was a mature, fresh faced, young woman. At least that's what she hoped the end result was as she waited for James to come and get her.

She had been staring at herself for about twenty minutes debating silently the whole time about whether or not she should change her outfit or if she was good enough to even be there. After all, she was simple, common Lily who lived only a few short blocks from Spinners End. Her family certainly didn't have money and had never had a royal title.

"Cheer up Lovely," said a voice from nowhere then, causing her to jump and let out a startled scream. "Ooops. Apologies Miss. I would have thought being a witch and all that you would have known all mirrors talk."

Lily managed to recover herself and she stared at the mirror again. "Oh, I knew mirrors talked," she said, "I just hadn't expected it. You should have made yourself known."

"Well typically we don't speak unless needed," said the mirror, "and you have such a pretty face that it broke my heart to see you standing there looking so sad."

"I'm just so terrified," she said, "I'm about to go in front of a bunch of people I've never met before."

"You'll do fine dear. Just keep your head up and shoulders back. With that dress and some confidence, there's no one you could fail to impress."

"The mirror is right you know," said a voice from behind her that most certainly wasn't James, "you look ravishing Evans."

She whirled around and was surprised to find Sirius standing there, dressed in designer wizards dress robes, and his hair falling elegantly into his face as he leaned against the door jam. Lily looked at him curiously. "Trying to get a glimpse of me naked, are you?"

Sirius laughed. "My, and here I thought you were a Lady, Evans. I'm going to have to tell James about where that dirty mind of yours goes."

"Well, you are Sirius Black. It isn't too big of a stretch. What are you doing here anyway, lurking about my bedroom door?"

"I'd hardly call this lurking."

"What would you call it then?"

"Portrait of a Young Man Leaning Elegantly," he answered, giving her a mischievous smile which only caused her to roll her eyes.

"You are so full of yourself. What are you doing here anyway? I was under the impression that James would be the one coming to get me."

"Part of James's royal duties includes greeting people by the door with his family, so I was sent to be your dog."

"What?"

"You know. I had to fetch you."

She just shook her head. "You are an odd one." Lily turned to glance at herself in the mirror one more time and even though she knew she looked fine, she couldn't help but somehow feel that she was underdressed.

"Quite fretting Evans," said Sirius, "you'll be the most beautiful girl in the room."

She rolled her eyes. "Quite being a suck-up."

"I'm not being a suck-up. I'm merely stating a fact. The only other people in the room tonight besides the King, James's parents, and me, will be James's great, great, aunts and their husbands. Oh, and the Longbottoms of course. So really, you've got nothing to worry about seeing as how you'll be the youngest bird there."

Lily crossed the room then and promptly smacked Sirius on the shoulder. "You are such a pain," she said, after she had hit him a good three times. The dark haired young man simply chuckled at her like she was the most entertaining thing in the world.

"And you are fun to rile up," said Sirius, "come on. We don't want to keep James waiting. He'll think that we've run off together." He offered her his arm and she took it with reluctance. The two of them walked down the hall together only just before they reached the staircase Lily stopped rather abruptly.

"I can't go down there," she said.

"Oh c'mon now, I thought we'd been through this. You look wonderful and everything will go fine."

"But Sirius, I'm not a royal and I'm going to use the wrong spoon, or say the wrong thing, and I'll be sent home after being made a laughing stalk of."

It was Sirius's turn to roll his eyes at her. "You really are a ridiculous bird. Just be you and everything will be fine. The Longbottoms and James's Great Aunts and their husbands are hardly frightening at all. The old people are practically both blind and deaf, and the Longbottoms, well-you've met Frank right? They're just nice."

Lily bit her lip and looked incredibly unsure. "I just don't want to screw this up. Lady Cordelia, King Harold, James…it seems like they're all counting on me and it's a heck of a lot of pressure. I barely passed my Transfiguration O.W.L. How am I supposed to help bring magical England together to stop a war?"

"Lily, we're not even to that point yet. It's just dinner. Would you feel better if you at least knew the names of everyone there?"

She sighed. "Possibly, but I'll let you know after I know them."

"Alright, fine-you've got King Harold and Lady Cordelia of course, who you've met already. Then there's James's father, Charles. You can't miss him. He looks like James but older. Then there's James's Great Aunt, Lady Hornia and her husband, Lord Douglas. Lady Hornia can't hear and has a glass eye. Lord Douglas has a wooden leg because he lost it during World War One. It's best not to stare at either of them for too long or they'll call you out on it. Then there is the Countess Desdemona and her husband, Count Victor. Countess Desdemona has old fashioned ideals and likes sherry a bit too much. If she says something about your dress being too short, ignore her. She grew up during the Victorian ages. Count Victor will probably sleep through the whole thing. As for Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom, they're just nice so you haven't much to worry about there."

"Lord Charles, Lady Hornia, Lord Douglas, Countess Desdemona, and Count Victor…right," said Lily, taking a deep breath, "I'll try to keep that all in mind."

"Good. Now are you ready to go? Because if not, I know of a really good hiding place, and we can just tell Lady Cordelia that we eloped together because we couldn't keep on lying to ourselves about the fire we feel for one another."

Lily couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of Sirius's words. "You are truly, and utterly insane…but thank you. I feel a lot better."

"Glad to be of service. Let's go face the sharks, shall we?" He gave her one of his winning smiles and the two of them walked down the stairs and to the dining room. King Harold stood by the door, with Lady Cordelia and her husband next to him, then James. Standing next together they looked like the world's most beautiful family portrait, all of them dressed to the nines. Lily tried her best not to laugh as she attempted to picture herself standing next to that family. It was in her opinion anyway, just the tiniest bit ridiculous.

"Ah Miss Evans, a pleasure to see you again," said King Harold.

"A pleasure to see you as well, your Majesty," she said, giving an uncertain curtsy which caused Sirius to snicker at her. She promptly elbowed him in the side causing him to go 'ouch'. James must have seen the interaction too because he smiled at her in amusement.

"And Sirius, you look well," said King Harold, "haven't been getting into any mischief this summer have we?"

"Not quite yet, but Miss Evans only did just get here. Give it time."

The King laughed heartily and patted him on the shoulder. "Right, right," he said, before turning again to Lily, "Well Miss Evans, I believe that the only one of us you haven't met is Lord Charles. Don't be afraid of him. He's really perfectly harmless."

Lord Charles, who as mentioned earlier truly was a replica of James, smiled at Lily and took her hand, kissing it. "Miss Evans, I'm delighted to meet you. My wife hasn't stopped talking about how lovely you are for weeks."

Lily colored. "I think Lady Cordelia exaggerates a little too much."

"Oh, fiddlesticks!" said Lady Cordelia. "I do not. You are perfectly lovely. Now I believe it's time to eat as I think I hear Great Aunt Hornia's stomach rumbling."

Lord Charles chuckled. "Just admit that you're hungry woman."

"A Lady never admits when she's hungry," said Lady Cordelia, who pulled her husband along to the dinner table. "James, you had better be escorting Lily in!"

James sighed but said nothing instead he just turned to Lily and gave her a smile. "You heard my mother. Padfoot, I'm afraid you've got to let Evans go now."

Sirius abruptly grabbed Lily then and pulled her into a death grip of a hug. "But I don't want to! She's so shiny looking and she smells nice."

"Black, you're crushing me," Lily managed to sort of wheeze out. Sirius let her go and smiled.

"Right Prongs, there's your lovely girl back. Though I must say it is hardly fair that you should get the only eye candy in the room. Perhaps next time I'll owl Dorcas and see if she can be my dinner date."

"Sirius, don't you dare. Dorcas is dating a nice, respectable Ravenclaw, and they're perfectly happy together. If you interfere with that, I will be forced to inform Professor McGonagall just who exactly was sending her those 'love letters' last semester."

Sirius scowled. "I take back what I said about you looking shiny and smelling nice. You are mean, and slightly resemble an ogre."

"I'm sure," she said, not believing him in the slightest. James laughed again and then they walked over to the dinner table. She sat in the middle of both James and Sirius, and she felt relieved that was the case. If she had had to sit next to someone from the family she didn't know, she would have been more terrified than she already was.

At the dinner table, Lily observed the other family members. Lady Hornia, who had the glass eye and couldn't hear, was sitting in front of her with Lord Douglas at her side who was chatting to Lord Charles about something. Lady Cordelia sat next to a woman Lily could only assume was Frank Longbottoms mother, who looked very much like her son and Mr. Longbottom was sitting right next to the King. Frank meanwhile sat on the opposite side of James. Then of course, there was Countess Desdemona and Count Victor.

Countess Desdemona was looking Lily up and down. She remembered Sirius's words earlier and realized that the woman was probably doing her very best to find something wrong with her appearance. Peering through her old fashioned spectacles, she looked far too closely at Lily. "I say young woman, are you wearing rogue?" the Countess asked.

"Er, no," said Lily, "but it is very warm in here so my cheeks might be red because of that."

The Countess looked at her archly and folded her arms across her chest, then leaned back in her chair. "I don't know what you're talking about dear. It's perfectly nice, and not at all warm."

"It must just be me then," said Lily, who looked to James for help to distract the woman.

James saw her look and obliged. "Great Aunt Desdemona, I don't believe you've properly met Miss Lily Evans. She's top of our year at school."

"Ah well, isn't that nice. You know James, considering your position, that's exactly where you ought to be. You should study more," said Great Aunt Desdemona, "it doesn't reflect well to have the countries Prince bested by a girl. Besides, a young lady shouldn't read too much. It addles the brain."

Lily was trying very hard to suppress her laughter then when one of the servers came in and announced, "Dinner!" Then a line of servants came out and quickly started to place the food on the table.

"Thank Merlin," Lily said to herself, although that didn't stop James from hearing her. He chuckled.

"Come on. It wasn't so bad. Just imagine if there had been something wrong with your outfit," he whispered to her.

"Oh Merlin, I don't even want to think about that. I'm just going to dress like a nun for the whole of summer vacation."

"Don't do that. Then she'll complain about you being too conservative."

"Can't I just be invisible for the whole trip?"

"Well actually-"

"James!" snapped Countess Desdemona. "James my boy, what are you doing spending your whole time whispering to that girl? This is a family dinner, and you've just ignored Lady Hornia completely. Go ahead and ask James what it was that you wanted to, sister."

Lady Hornia looked completely taken aback by Countess Desdemona's shouting, and so was everyone else who had stopped their dinner conversation and stared at the three. Then they looked at Lady Hornia expectantly, waiting for her to ask her question.

"Well?" said James. "What was it you wanted, Great Aunt Hornia?"

Lady Hornia very nervously asked, "Will you please pass the peas?"

There was silence and James passed the peas which had been in front of him the whole time. Once that was done, there was a chuckle from the far side of the table and Lily saw that it was King Harold who had burst out laughing. "P-p-pass the peas! Oh yes, that was terribly urgent Great Aunt Desdemona. Pass the peas!" said the king, who was by now doubled over in laughter.

For a moment no one else did anything, uncertain of what to do and then the rest of the table joined in with the laughter as well. Although Lily couldn't help but notice that Countess Desdemona didn't look pleased in the slightest. Aside from the death glares she received from the elderly woman however, the rest of the meal passed quite pleasantly.

At the end of the night was when the true trouble would actually start. The gentleman parted ways for cigars and brandy (or rather, hot chocolate in the case of James and Sirius, who were underage) and then the lady's went to Cordelia's private parlor for tea.

"Well I daresay, I don't know what Harold thought he was going on about," Countess Desdemona started once the women were alone. "Honestly, I simply thought that it was rude of James to ignore his Great Aunt like that. There was no need for a scene to be made."

Lady Cordelia, who was escorting Countess Desdemona in, said, "Oh come now Great Aunt, James was hardly ignoring you or Great Aunt Hornia. You know he would never do that. He was simply-"

"Too caught up in that girl," said Countess Desdemona.

"I am still here you know, Countess," said Lily, who had been charged with escorting Lady Hornia in, although Lady Hornia didn't appear to know where she was or what she was doing.

The Countess turned and looked at her sharply. "I know Miss, and that's why I'm saying it. I'm shocked that James had the nerve to invite you tonight. After all, it was only supposed to be family. Sirius I can understand. He is at least Royal, but to invite a complete stranger to a family dinner-"

"Countess, Miss Evans is hardly a stranger," said Lady Cordelia, "James has been courting her for the past five years now at school. It was only just recently that she agreed to visit, and having heard him speak highly of Miss Evans before, we thought it appropriate that she come."

Both Lily and the Countess were taken aback by Lady Cordelia's outburst. Lily especially, since she knew it was far from the truth although she kept her mouth shut.

"I've never heard James talk of this young woman before," said Countess Desdemona, "and I should think that if she were as important to my nephew as you claim that she would have been mentioned at least once."

"Oh Countess, you know your memory is not what it used to be. Perhaps James mentioned her it simply slipped your mind. It wouldn't be the first time. After all, you did call Peter Pettigrew Timothy for about a month when you first met him."

The Countess frowned, apparently very displeased that she was not being supported in her desires that Lily wasn't there. "The Black girls are at least connected to our family tree, although they have been removed several times. Should James desire female companionship at a family meal next time, invite one of them."

Lady Cordelia looked heavenwards in exasperation and shook her head before depositing the Countess in her seat. "Your opinion is noted, Countess," said Lady Cordelia, who then turned and gave Lily a wink of encouragement.

Lily smiled, feeling slightly better knowing that James's mother was on her side. She herself sat Lady Hornia down next to the Countess, and then sat on the loveseat next to Lady Longbottom. "I myself was glad that you were there Lily," said Lady Longbottom, "I do believe that my Frank was quite taken with you."

Lily could only stare at Lady Longbottom. Frank had not said one word to her the entire night or to anyone really. In fact, Lily suspected that he had spent a lot of dinner daydreaming about Alice Prewett as he had had an unusually blissfully, happy look on his face the entire time.

"Franks always been very nice," Lily said, which wasn't exactly a lie as the few times they had actually talked to each other he had been a sort of decent fellow. Although she regretted saying anything as she was instantly rewarded with a glare from Countess Desdemona. Lady Longbottom on the other hand, looked thoroughly pleased, while Lady Hornia was staring off into space, her glass eye spinning round in an unusual way.

There was a distinct pause then and Lady Cordelia cleared her throat. "Shall we have some tea then?" she asked, gesturing to the tea service which had already been set up by the house elves.

"Indeed," said Lady Longbottom.

The tea was served then and once the women all had their cups, Countess Desdemona said, "Tell me, Miss Evans. What sort of family do you come from?"

Lily stiffened at the question and looked to Lady Cordelia for guidance. The woman took a sip of her tea, and then said, "Miss Evans comes from a respectable, muggleborn family Countess."

"Thank you Cordelia dear, but I was asking Miss Evans," the Countess said, "now as I was asking, what sort of family do you come from, Miss Evans?"

Lily glared at the woman, unable to help herself. She truly was annoyed with the crotchety, old hag who seemed to have nothing better to do then to try and find faults with her. If it weren't for the fact that she was an ancient, old, dragon, she would have slapped her silly. "We're lower-middle class, Countess," Lily answered, not afraid to be truthful, "my father manages a factory and my mother is a proud housewife with a garden that's won several prizes. I also have one elder sister."

Countess Desdemona sniffed in a very, bored sort of way. "Well, isn't that nice then?"

"I quite like them myself most of the time," said Lily.

"Well now," said Lady Cordelia, "I am glad to see the two of you are getting to know each other. Tell me, could I interest you ladies in a few rounds of whist? I'm sure the gentleman will be late discussing politics or something or rather."

"Whist would be lovely," said Lady Longbottom, "I am rather fond of it myself. What of Lady Hornia?"

"What did you say?" croaked Hornia, who had only just started to pay attention to the conversation that was happening.

"Whist dear," said Lady Longbottom, "would you be interested in playing whist?"

"My word, did you just say shit?" said Lady Hornia, causing the room to go quiet again.

"No, no, Lady Hornia, whist. The card game? Oh, never mind," said Lady Longbottom, apparently giving up on trying to get the elderly woman to pay attention which was a good thing as Lady Hornia had already started staring off at something that wasn't there.

"You know, I am hardly in the mood for a card game," said Countess Desdemona, "although I would very much like to hear some music and we do have that lovely pianoforte sitting there."

"Very well, Countess," said Lady Cordelia, "I might be a bit rusty however, I do believe I still know a tune or too."

"Nonsense," the Countess said, "it isn't for us to entertain anymore, but we are to be entertained. Miss Evans, do you play the pianoforte?"

Lily looked up at the Countess and for the first time that evening she was actually smiled. Though it had been a while, Lily had spent ages six through ten learning to play the instrument and she was fairly decent at it. "Yes actually, I do. I'd be delighted to play if that is your wish." The Countess returned her gaze as if it were some sort of silent challenge, then nodded.

"Very well Miss Evans, go ahead and play. We shall see just how good you are."

Lily sat up from her spot next to Lady Longbottom then and went to the piano which was off to the side of the room by the window. She played a song called 'Lorena' which her mother had taught her when she was very young.

"Sing girl, sing," encouraged Countess Desdemona, to her surprise.

She paused her playing and then started over, singing in a voice that could only be described as semi-decent (thankfully), "Oh, the years creep slowly by, Lorena, the snow is on the ground again. The sun's low down the sky, Lorena, the frost gleams where the flowers been. But the heart beats on as warmly now, as when the summers day were nigh. Oh, the sun can never dip so low A-down affections cloudless sky…."

She kept on playing, and continued singing, the only sound being her voice and the instrument. Though her voice was nothing miraculous, the words of the song itself were so mournful and loving that it would have sounded well sung by anyone. When she finished, both Lady Cordelia and Lady Longbottom burst into applause while Countess Desdemona gave her a look of something like respect.

Lily smiled only to be greeted by the sound of whistling. "Encore! Encore!" shouted the voice of Sirius as he clapped. She was surprised to see standing James too, who was clapping as well. Although James, she couldn't help notice, had a sort of odd expression on her face which she had seen him wear a few times in her presence.

It was thoughtful, as though he had just realized something and was trying to figure out what it meant to him.

"That was great, Evans," said Sirius, who swept into the room and gave her hand a kiss. "A little depressing, but still rather nice, what was the tune?"

"Lorena," said Lily, "my Mother used to sing it to me when I was little. It's an old, American song."

"You'll have to teach me the words."

"Can you even sing?"

"Yes, I can," said Sirius, "I'll have you know that I have a wonderful alto voice."

"Unfortunately, he's telling the truth," said James, stepping into the room, "just don't tell the girls at Hogwarts that or we'll never get him to shut up."

"Well remind me and I'll teach it to you sometime. After all, we've got all summer."

"Yes we do," said Sirius.

"Boys, not that I am not glad to see you, but what are you doing here? I assumed that you would be with the men, talking about men things," said Lady Cordelia.

"Yes well, around the time that Frank started waxing soliloquy on Alice Prewett we decided it was time to come find Lily and show her the gardens," said James. Lily couldn't help but notice how Lady Longbottoms face pinched together at Alice's name, although she seemed to be the only one in the room who did so. Poor Frank, she couldn't help but think. She could only imagine the trouble that he would have to go through to get his mothers approval of the girl.

"The gardens," said Lily, "you already showed me them."

"Yes, but you haven't seen them at night," said James, "at night they're entirely different."

"That is very true," said Lady Cordelia, "alright; I suppose you can steal Lily away. However, don't you three stay out too late, these are dangerous times and it wouldn't do for something to happen to you three."

"Don't worry, Lady Cordelia. I'll take care of James and fiance-poo," said Sirius.

"Fiance-poo?" said Countess Desdemona, looking alarmed.

"Sirius is just joking, Great Aunt Desdemona," James lied, glaring at his friend who smiled sheepishly at him.

"Yes, that's right. Only joking," Sirius lied.

"I should hope so," said Countess Desdemona, "imagine the scandal it would cause, James marrying a muggleborn!"

A pregnant pause came over the room and then Sirius cleared his throat. "Come on Lily dearest, there's a gazebo I've been dying to show you that is absolutely marvelous for snogging use," he said, dragging her out of the parlor and James quickly followed, closing the door behind him.

Once the three were out of the room they all let out relieved sighs. "Honestly Sirius, what were you thinking?" James demanded.

"Slipped out," he said, "apparently I slipped a wee bit too much of King Harold's Fire Whiskey.

"Well next time, take less. If word gets out about Lily and I, she'll be in danger and we'll be forced into sooner."

"Sorry," Sirius said to him, and then he turned to Lily and added, "really, really, sorry."

Lily sighed. "I suppose its okay but just, be a bit more careful will you?"

"Yes, yes. I will. Now come along you two, it's more than a bit stuffy in here. I want to frolic with nature and all of that jazz. I should warn you, I am fairly tipsy so there is a good chance clothes may be shed." With that, Sirius walked just a bit ahead of him, stumbling slightly.

Lily looked at James then. "He was kidding about the clothes coming off thing, wasn't he?"

James ran his hand through his hair and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm afraid not. Sirius has a tendency to strip when he's got the strong stuff in him. Don't worry I promise I'll do my best to make sure the clothes remain on."

"Good to know," she said, giving him a smile.

He grabbed her hand then as though it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do and they walked down the hall to the gardens, following the drunken Sirius. "So did you manage to handle Great Aunt Desdemona on your own?" he asked.

"I think so, only it was sort of frightening there for a moment. I thought she was going to eat me or something. But if nothing else I know she likes my music at least."

"She would. Great Aunt Desdemona may be crotchety, but she does have a good ear for that sort of thing. She's been a patron of the arts for years."

"Why does she seem so intent not to like me though? I didn't do anything to her."

"She's very set in her ways, and very protective. She'd like for me to keep things within the family when I marry, that is, someone whose royal. Of course if she had it her way, I'd be marrying Dorcas and my children would have seven toes instead of five."

Lily laughed. "Ah well, I don't think she'll bother me too much more. Once she realized that I wasn't going to curl up in a ball just because she didn't like me, I think she decided that she would just leave me alone. At least, I thought so."

"Good for you, Evans. If you can hold your own against Great Aunt Desdemona, you can hold your own against anyone."

"I suppose that's good to know."

They were outside now, and Sirius had already wandered off somewhere. The garden consisted of a maze made of rose bushes, and in the center was a very, very old gazebo, the top of which could be seen from where they were standing. The two of them made their way to it with very little talking. Finally Lily asked, "Do you suppose I'll fit in here?"

"What do you mean?" James said, stopping.

"I mean, everything is just so massive and so different from what I used to. You have to greet people before you have dinner, and carry handkerchiefs and all sorts of weird things. The whole time at dinner, I felt like I had a big stamp on my forehead that said 'doesn't belong'. I've wondered at least twenty times today if I'm not certifiably insane for doing this."

"Most people would probably say that you are, but think of it in the grand scheme of things Evans. The changes that come from it will be for the better. I promise. Besides, it isn't fitting in to what they want that you should worry about. It's making them do what you want. After all, the important thing is getting them to see the light instead of turning to Voldemort…just be yourself…even if it means thoroughly irritating my Great Aunt."

Lily sighed. "I sound so incredibly insecure. I'm not usually this way you know."

"Oh believe me, I know. You did slap me my third year in front of our entire charms class after all. Anyone that wasn't secure with themselves couldn't have done that."

She laughed at the memory. "I'd forgotten."

"Yes well, I haven't. My cheek still stings every time I think about it."

"Why did I slap you again?"

"I believe I'd said something about you coming into your breasts finally," James said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah yes, I remember now. You certainly were a twat. If anyone had told me that you could actually be nice years ago, I wouldn't have believed them. Now, I think you're sort of alright."

"Well I suppose that's a good thing, especially considering we're stuck together, until death do us part and all that."

"Only if you manage to charm me, Mr. Potter/ I might just decide I don't like you and runaway with Sirius."

"Did I hear a female call my name?" Sirius asked, coming through one of the bushes suddenly.

"Just exactly how much did you drink?" Lily inquired.

"Slightly less than a lot and more than a little," he said grinning. His eyes glazed over then and he suddenly grabbed both James and Lily by their hands and started running.

"Sirius, slow down you idiot!" James said. "What are you doing?"

"There's a shooting star coming."

"What on earth is he talking about?" asked Lily.

"Oh Merlin, it's his weird Shooting Star-Sense again!"

"Shooting Star-Sense?" Lily asked as she was pulled along by Sirius.

"It comes with being named after a star, the ability to know when a shooting star is going to hit," James explained, "at least that's what this moron thinks."

Sirius stopped running rather abruptly then. "There!" he said, pointing up towards the sky. Exactly as he had predicted, a bright light shot across the incredibly vast sky, and the three of them stood there staring in awe. Sirius let out a crazed laugh then and he collapsed into the grass, falling onto his back and taking both James and Lily with them.

Flat on their backs, they stared straight up into the starry night and all three of them started to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"So," said Lily, "Sirius has a Shooting Star-Sense."

"Indeed I do," said Sirius, who then turned on his side so that his back was towards Lily and asked, "so mate, have you kissed her yet? I mean, without your mother badgering you to?"

"Excuse me, I'm right here," she said.

"Oy, that'd be none of your business Padfoot. When I do kiss her, it certainly isn't going to be in front of you."

"Have you got performance anxiety then?"

James groaned and at that point Lily had propped her head up so that it was on Sirius's shoulder and she could see the both of them. "You're planning on kissing me then?" Lily said, looking at the messy haired boy with the glasses expectantly. He looked back.

"Perhaps," he said, with a sly grin and a twinkle in his eye. "But you certainly aren't going to know when it does happen."

"No fair! I hate surprises."

"You're just going to have to get used to them, because they're actually one of my favorite things."

"Seriously, if the both of you don't kiss soon, I might just force you to myself," said Sirius, "when my dear friend Prongs got engaged, I expected there to be snogging of some sort going on."

"What's it to you if we kiss or not Black?" Lily demanded.

"Why my dearest Lily, I should have thought that would have been obvious. I get to live vicariously through him and picture myself kissing a gorgeous redhead, of course." She smacked him on the arm then which caused Sirius to howl in pain and James to laugh as though it were incredibly funny.

"Too bad she's already taken mate," said James, "because you've finally met your match! I never did think there would be a female who could keep Sirius Black in line. After all, even your own mother failed at that."

"Yes well, my mother is a shrew," said Sirius.

"Children!" the voice of Lady Cordelia called across the grounds then, amplified by some sort of charm. "Come back inside! It's late and you'll catch cold!"

They all forced themselves up reluctantly and made their way to back to the palace. Once inside, Sirius left them so that James could walk Lily to her room by himself. He held her hand the entire way and she didn't mind in the slightest. When they finally reached her door, they stood outside it for a very long moment just staring.

She peered at him closely. "Are you going to kiss me now?" she asked.

"I already told you that you wouldn't know when it was going to happen. Good night, Evans," he said.

She frowned, somehow disappointed that he hadn't kissed her despite the fact that that they were only just getting to know each other. Part of her just wanted to get it over with. The kiss his mother had pressured on them hardly counted, but she had felt something and she wanted to see if she still felt the same things when he kissed her on its own accord.

"Good night, James," she said.

He tilted his head to the side then, apparently just noticing the look on her face. "Don't tell me that you're disappointed now, Evans."

She caught herself and rolled her eyes, trying to make it seem as if the whole thing were nothing at all. "You think too highly of yourself. I was just curious."

"Liar, you want me to kiss you."

"No, I just want to be prepared. I don't want to be taken off guard."

"Where's the fun in it then?"

"I don't look like a complete idiot and my breath smells nice."

"I'm certain your breath will smell just fine. You're just going to have to wait." Then he reached up and brushed back a strand of her red hair which had fallen into her face. He leaned in then, and she truly thought he had changed her mind and was going to kiss her but he quickly pulled away, smiling.

"You are very, very mean James Potter," she said, frowning again.

"And you are easily fooled. Goodnight, Evans."

"Goodnight, Potter," she said, and she watched him as he turned and walked away from her. Only when he was gone did she head inside.

When Lily woke up the next morning, she found herself in completely unfamiliar surroundings. The furniture was too nice, the room too big, and there was a blond woman that she didn't recognize sitting in a chair in the corner, smiling. She let out a startled scream and somehow managed to fall off of her bed.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed.

Two feet wearing a pair of light blue high heels stood in front of her, and then there was a hand being held out to help pick her up. "Oh Lily dearest, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." The voice brought Lily back to reality and she remembered that she was at the Potters palace.

"It's quite alright, Lady Cordelia. I was just slightly out of it. It's a bit shocking to wake up in a place that you've never been before especially when that place is a palace."

Lady Cordelia smiled. "I came to help you find something to wear for today. We'll be spending the day boating, and I'm afraid the outing requires old fashioned women's magical wear which will require a corset."

Lily stared at her, quite certain that she'd heard wrong. "I'm sorry. I thought you just said that I'd be wearing a corset."

"Yes, of course dear. That's what tradition dictates. Typically, I wouldn't force you to follow the old customs but since some important members of the family will be there as well as friends of ours I think it would be best if you dressed like everyone else. After all if you are to marry James, we need you to make a good impression."

Lily had never worn a corset before, although she had read enough historical fiction romance novels to know that they were anything but pleasant. "Am I going to be able to breathe?"

"Probably not, but if you pass out, feel free to use James's shoulder."

She swallowed. "Good to know."

"Now come along dear. The boating outing will start at ten and its eight now. I would have had some breakfast made for you but I thought perhaps it would be best if you didn't eat anything until you actually were in the corset."

"Ah," said Lily, "yes that makes perfect sense."

Of course, the whole thing didn't make any sense at all. She had been lost the moment that Lady Cordelia had informed her that she was going to be wearing a corset.

"Come along now, I've brought my maid. We're going to need all of the help we can get," Lady Cordelia said, and then she snapped her fingers and in came a pretty young blond woman that was presumably Lady Cordelia's maid.

Around nine forty-five, Lily was miraculously dressed and ready although she suspected that if there hadn't been magic involved it would have been much closer to ten.

The robes that she wore were done in the regency style, and she felt like a Jane Austen character. The waist was cinched, and between that and the corset, Lily had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to breathe much at all. The robes themselves were white, and she had a bonnet on top of her head to keep herself from getting too much sun that was the same color as the robes. She wore black, pointed boots that laced up and then there was her hair, which was pinned up in elegant curls with a hair clip that might as well have been a hat.

That wasn't to say that she looked horrible. Actually, Lily couldn't help but think as she stared at herself in the mirror, she looked quite alright in the strange Jane Austen Era magical robes. The only real problem was that she couldn't actually breathe.

"Are you sure it's supposed to be this, er, tight?" Lily asked once the maid had finished dressing her and she was in the full ensemble.

"Of course, it's been done this way for centuries," Lady Cordelia replied, smiling.

"And might I ask why you don't have to wear one of these things?"

"I won't be going boating today. Lord Charles and I are attending a polo match the muggle Queen invited us to. She's actually related to us in some odd way as well. One of her family members was a squib, although I forget which. Don't worry about it my dear. You'll be in the capable hands of James and Sirius, and I'm sure you'll do wonderfully."

Lily stared at Lady Cordelia as if she were a patient from St. Mungos that had escaped. "You are aware that you are leaving the possible future of the magical British monarchy in the hands of James Potter and Sirius Black, right?"

Lady Cordelia looked only slightly unnerved by those words; however she gave Lily a sympathetic pat on the back. "You'll be just fine, dear. Now would you like to have some toast before the outing? I can have the house elves whip something up."

"Er-no, I don't think that would be a good idea. I'd get full, and then all of my air would be cut off."

"I expect you're right," said Lady Cordelia, who then gave Lily a hug. "Goodbye, dearest, I'll see you this evening. I've already said my goodbye to the boys so you're on your own, I'm afraid." She smiled at her and then left the room, leaving Lily alone.

Once James's mother was gone, she took a deep, calming, breath. At least, she tried to. It was a bit impossible considering she was strapped in as though she had been put into a straight jacket. Of course all things considered, the straight jacket might have been roomier and much more pleasant considering she was about to spend the day with a bunch of royals she'd never met.

Reluctantly she forced herself to go out of the room and she went downstairs to where James and Sirius were waiting for her by the steps. Both of them were wearing white, old fashioned men's wizard's robes which included top hats and canes. Lily couldn't help but smile a little.

"Why if I didn't know any better, I'd say you almost looked like gentlemen," she said.

"Well, that's where you're right," said James, who had taken her by the hand and looped her arm through his, "we're not gentlemen. We're noblemen."

"Actually James, I'm the nobleman, you're the heir apparent," said Sirius.

"Too right you are, Padfoot," said James, and then he turned to Lily again and added, "you look lovely today, Evans."

"Thank you, Potter," she said, smiling once more.

"Afraid it's got to be your Highness, or you're Grace from now on Evans," said Sirius, "we'll be in public and it will be expected, especially from your common self."

"Was that a gibe, Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Not at all, my dear," said Sirius, who then turned to James. "And mate, you'd better run along to the lake. You're going to be late for the ribbon cutting ceremony if you don't."

"Ribbon cutting ceremony?"

"It announces the start of summer," supplied Sirius, "and opens the lake to the noble families. While James's family owns the place, those of royal descent are all allowed to use the grounds for whatever they please."

"As long as it's legal, of course," said James, "although that doesn't stop some. Right then, I'll see you by the lake." James gave Lily a broad smile before running off then and leaving Lily alone with Sirius, who offered her his arm.

She sighed and took it. "You know if I didn't know any better, I'd say James was trying to push me off on you. This is the second time that he's had you take me somewhere."

"Oh, it's not at all like that Evans. James just has some important duties. If you were officially engaged, you'd be at his side but since you haven't completely agreed to it yet you can't technically be involved. After all we wouldn't want to introduce you to the people and get their hopes up only to have them taken away."

"Right," said Lily, "I suppose we'd better make our way to the lake. After all, it wouldn't do to miss the important ribbon cutting ceremony." She said the last bit with the tiniest amount of sarcasm and Sirius just laughed at her before leading the way.

When they finally did reach the lake, the ribbon cutting ceremony had only just started and King Harold was giving a speech while James stood by his side. Lily was surprised at the amount of royals gathered. She hadn't expected there to be many, and there were fifty at least, possibly more.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, looking at her with concern. "You look a bit peaky."

"I'm fine you know, just another panic attack while remembering I'm about to enter a royal family and all that."

"Ah right, well just remember to breathe."

"I would if I could actually breathe."

"Well then, just think happy thoughts, like about Countess Desdemona losing her fake teeth in the lake."

Lily laughed although it came out a bit too loudly, and this apparently seemed to be the wrong thing to do as King Harold stopped mid speech and stared at her, as well as James. So did the whole of the crowd of very intimidating royals that she didn't know. She managed to change the laugh into a cough and everyone then started to ignore her and turned their attention back to the speech.

"Nicely played," Sirius whispered into her ear, "we'll have you wearing the crown yet."

Lily rolled her eyes and smacked him on the shoulder, which just made him chuckle a bit. The end of King Harold's speech was signaled then when James was given a pair of rather large scissors which he used to cut the ribbon. Then he raised his wand and a loud bang erupted from it, causing the group of royals to clap politely.

"So what do we do now?" Lily asked.

"Well, now we make our way to the boats. You'll be in mine, and James will be with King Harold."

"Are you sure he's not trying to push me off on you?"

"Positive, now stop being paranoid, come on, we've got a day of sailing ahead of us, matey."

"Oh lord you're not going to speak Pirate all day are you?"

"Possibly," Sirius said, "especially if it calms you down."

"Oy Sirius! Whose that lovely redhead you've got on your arm?" a familiar voice called then, and the both of them turned only to see Peter Pettigrew making his way towards them, dressed in a similar fashion as James and Sirius. Only his robes appeared to be slightly older, and he looked rather like a child playing dress up on them.

Lily laughed. "Peter!" she said. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, one doesn't turn down a direct invitation from the King, after all," said Peter, "royal duty and whatnot. How are you, Lily?"

"Fine, except for the fact that I can't breathe."

"Ah, the corset," said Peter knowingly, "that's exactly why my Mum, the dear Lady Pettigrew, didn't come. She hates those blasted things almost as much as she hates my father. Luckily, otherwise I would have had to spend the whole day carting her around."

"Peter," said Lily, surprised.

"Oh don't feel bad for Lady Pettigrew, honest. The woman's a harpy," said Sirius, "and I should know, considering that my Mother is the mother of all harpies. Peter's mother is my aunt."

"Twice removed," Peter said, although Lily wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"Come along, let's go to the boats then, or we'll be left behind. The H.M.S. Padfoot awaits," said Sirius, and he led the way with both Lily and Peter following.

When they reached the shore of the lake however where Sirius's boat was, there were already people by it. One was a tall, elegant, blond girl about a few years older than them standing next to an equally tall girl, with a head full of wild, black tendrils. Lily couldn't help but notice that Sirius's usually cheerful demeanor was gone the moment that he saw them.

"Exes?" Lily whispered to Peter.

"Cousins," Peter supplied.

"Ah," said Lily, needing no further explanation. Anyone who had heard Sirius talk about his mother or seen the way he acted around his brother knew that 'complicated' only partly described his family relationships.

"Cousin!" said the blond woman, appearing cheerful. "How are you?"

"I'm well, Cissa," said Sirius in a very stiff way, "I see you've left the ball and chain at home."

"Lucius had an important engagement and couldn't make it I'm afraid."

"Ah yes, off meeting with his Lord?" Sirius said with venom in his voice. Lily could only take it to mean that Sirius was referring to 'Lord Voldemort' and shuddered at the thought.

"Really cousin, there's no need to be so rude," said the other, dark haired girl in a cold voice, "besides, it's a good thing Narcissa and I did come. Someone had to represent the family properly after all, especially seeing as you've been blasted off the family tree." The woman with the dark hair smiled the way a shark might when looking at a particularly appetizing snack.

"Really Bellatrix, there's no need to talk about such things in public," said the blond who was apparently named Narcissa, "come along then. Are we going to go boating or not? It's a perfectly splendid day. Oh Sirius! You haven't introduced us to your friend." It was then that the attention was turned on Lily, and she rather wished it hadn't been as she now longed for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

Underneath of the gaze of the two Black cousins (mostly Bellatrix) Lily had never felt so incredibly small in her entire life, and that included the day that her sister had called her a freak after she'd gotten her Hogwarts letter.

"Ah yes, indeed," said Bellatrix, "you haven't introduced us to your friend…I say, you look familiar. What is your name, girl?"

"Lily Evans," she replied, forcing herself to hold her shaking head high.

Bellatrix sneered at her. "Ah, Evans, that's a 'common' name isn't it?"

"What of it?" Lily asked.

"Just making sure. There is no need to get testy, dear," said Bellatrix in a falsely sweet voice. Then she looked at Sirius. "You keep interesting company, cousin."

"Better than the company that you do, cousin…I've heard tell Lestrange has been courting you."

"Yes, I expect he'll make an offer any day now," said Bellatrix, "and perhaps the marriage will restore the family reputation which you've done a fine job of tarnishing."

Sirius was now clenching his wand which was in his hand so tightly that Lily thought that he might break it. "Sirius," said Lily, squeezing his arm gently, "come on. Don't cause a scene. James wouldn't like it." This seemed to bring Sirius out of it and he gave her a grateful smile.

"Right then, it's an excellent day for boating. The sun is shining and there's no need to ruin it over a family squabble. Peter, you'll help me get it ready won't you?" Sirius asked, turning to his friend.

"Right-o," said Peter, and the two boys walked to the boat to get it ready. The girls followed and took their seats in it, watching the boys as they got it ready to set sail. Lily, Narcissa, and Bellatrix all sat in the middle while Peter rowed from the back and Sirius rowed in the front.

It was quite the sight. A whole caravan of beautifully carved boats, all made of the same light wood, made their way down the lake. The sun was shining which caused the crystal blue water to sparkle underneath its light. Everyone was dressed fantastically in the fancy, old fashioned, white wizard and witch robes and the end result was like that of a painting from days gone by. Merry laughter rang out and so did the sound of splashing as the oars came out of the water and then hit it again as they sank back down.

While those on the other boats seemed to be enjoying themselves, those on the H.M.S. Padfoot were feeling more than a little awkward. "So," Lily said finally, wanting nothing more than to break the silence, "did you ladies attend Hogwarts? I don't remember seeing you there."

"We did," said Narcissa, smiling, "though I didn't get a chance to finish."

"Oh, why not?"

"Well, I was married of course," said Narcissa, as though that were the most reasonable thing in the world, "once a woman has her husband there is no need to further her education and Lucius proposed to me in my sixth year."

"Ah," said Lily, trying her best not to sound judging.

"It isn't your place to disapprove of a lifestyle you know nothing about, Miss Evans," said Bellatrix then, glaring at her, "there isn't anything wrong with leaving school young to start a family, especially in the case of purebloods, because it is so important for us to carry on our line."

"Yes, I'd imagine it would be, especially with the statistics I've heard recently," said Lily.

"Statistics?" said Narcissa, looking interested while Bellatrix looked mildly annoyed.

"Statistics, yes, I only read an article just recently in The Daily Prophet that pureblooded families are starting to die out and the number of squibs is increasing you know, due to all of the inbreeding."

"That's fascinating. I hadn't heard about that at all," said Narcissa, who to Lily's surprise actually did look interested. "I had intended on being a healer before Luscious proposed, actually. Tell me can you remember the name of the article and who it was by? I would like to take a look at it."

"Oh please Narcissa, you can't actually believe that load of rubbish she's going on about! She probably read about it in The Quibbler," said Bellatrix, "The Daily Prophet certainly wouldn't publish such scandalous lies."

"As I said, it was published just recently," said Lily, "actually I do believe I still have the article. I could owl it to you if you liked, Narcissa."

"Yes that would be quite-"

It was then that Lily found a wand pointed at her and heard a stinging jinx shouted. To top it all off, Bellatrix had lunged in her direction and she was pushed into the water. She flailed her arms about, trying to stay up, only to be grabbed by the legs and pulled into the deep water.

At first, she thought that Bellatrix had jumped in and was trying to pull her further into the waters depths so that she would drown. Then she realized that the hand that had grabbed hold of her was particularly slimly, and found she was staring at a mermaid.

That was the last thing she remembered before blacking out.

It seemed to be ages before Lily started to slowly come to. The first thing she heard when she was semi-conscious again was the voice of Sirius Black saying, "Clearly, you've never been to Tortuga before." Then she was vaguely aware of his lips pressing hers and it was then that she woke up and promptly started hitting him.

"Sirius Black, get your paws off me!" she said, in between slapping him rather forcefully on the head and causing him to cry, 'ouch, ouch, ouch' several times.

"Merlin, is that any way to treat your savior woman?" Sirius asked, glaring at her.

"Savior?" she said, blinking.

"Yes, savior, my insane cousin attacked you when you started talking about your ruddy squib article and you were nearly drowned by some mermaids. I jumped in and had to fight a particularly vicious merman to save your ruddy neck. I was giving you CPR to help you breathe before you attacked me!"

"Oh," said Lily, feeling very ridiculous all of the sudden.

"Oh," said Sirius, rolling his eyes at her. "I save the bloody woman's life and all I get is 'oh'. Yes, I'm feeling terribly appreciated right now."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Stop your whining," she said, and she leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. He brightened considerably.

"Now that's more like it, care to do it again lovely? I'd be happy to reciprocate."

"Not in a million years, Black. I'm engaged to be engaged to your best friend. Speaking of which, where is James and everyone else?"

"Well, everyone else apparated out of there. They seemed to think the mermaids were attacking or some such nonsense once they heard your screaming, and James is off cutting a few mermaids heads I expect."

"Oh Merlin," said Lily, putting her hands in her face.

"Are you alright there, Lily?" asked the voice of Peter, who she had only just noticed.

She looked up at him and smiled. "A little wet, but other than that I'm fine," she said, although apparently her body had other sneezes as she let out a particularly violent 'achoo'. She frowned. "Unless you count the cold I'm getting."

"Perhaps we should get you inside, and dressed," said Peter, "we wouldn't want you to get anymore sick."

"Dressed?" said Lily, and then she looked down and noticed that she was only in her undergarments. That wouldn't have been a problem considering they were old fashioned and practically covered all of her, however Lily was particularly bothered by it as she realized in order to get into that state someone had had to undress her. Judging by the rather sheepish expression on Sirius Blacks face, she knew exactly who had done it.

"Now come on Lily," he said, "don't look at me like-OW!" He howled as she smacked him on the head.

"Sirius Bloody Black! You had the nerve to actually undress me?"

"Oh, come off it woman. Someone had to. You couldn't breathe and you would have caught a worse cold then the one you're probably going to get if you'd kept the clothes on. Besides, I expected you wouldn't appreciate it if your tombstone read, 'Here lies Lily Evans. She was killed off by a particularly violent corset. Rest in peace.'"

Lily blinked at him and scowled. "I suppose you're right," she said, and sneezed again. He sighed and offered her his handkerchief. She took it gratefully and wiped her nose with it then handed it back to him. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Keep it, you're clearly going to need it since you're getting sick. Come along Evans. Let's get you up to the hospital wing." He helped her up, and Lily stumbled a little, feeling slightly dizzy from the pounding headache which was coming on fast. Sirius managed to catch her though.

"The palace has its own hospital wing?" Lily asked.

"I believe that's where you actually said, 'Thank you Sirius Black for rescuing me from crazed Bellatrix and the mermaids and the evil corset'."

"Ah yes, thank you Sirius."

He grinned at her and then turned to Peter. "Will you tell His Royal Highney that I'm taking Evans to the Hospital Wing?"

Peter chuckled. "Sure thing," he said, and then he turned to Lily and added, "Glad you didn't get killed off by the mermaids or your corset, Lily."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Peter." He nodded at her and went to go find James, and then Lily sneezed into Sirius's handkerchief again.

Sirius walked with her back up to the palace, keeping a steadying hand on her back the whole way up. When they finally did reach the Hospital Wing, Lily had never been more relieved to see a bed in her entire life and was more than willing to be put to bed with a sleeping draught by the Healer and ordered to rest. Dealing with royals, she remembered thinking before her head collapsed on the pillow, was a very dangerous game indeed.

A/N: I do believe this was my longest chapter yet. Go me! Perhaps it will give you all an incentive to review more. Hint, hint, hint….I mean… look, there goes a pretty bird. I wonder how many of you caught the POTC reference. Yay for you all if you did. I put it in there mostly because the scene involved a corset and I couldn't resist. Besides, it seemed like something Sirius would say. ;)

P.S. Before someone says something about my version of Narcissa, I just wanted to do something different and how she might have been before Lucius became completely crazed with the whole Voldemort thing. So there you go.

Thank you all for the reviews:

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Chapter ten will be coming soon and involve: A sick and slightly feverish Lily attending her first royal ball, Lucius Malfoy getting his shoes puked on, and Lily getting locked in a closet with Sirius Black. Fear not Lily and James shippers, this is most definitely a Lily and James story however, and there will be plenty of them as well. I just like putting poor Lily and Sirius in awkward situations. Besides, we've got to give the royals something to talk about don't we?