Another big bad exterminated; another evil thing gone.

Sam smiles wryly. He didn't expect that they'd celebrate but he hoped that they might stop for a moment, reflect, maybe have a beer or three.

Sam had lost count of how many monsters they had killed, how many demons, how many things wanting to take down the world. It had started with a crusade against the Yellow-Eyed Demon, revenge for their mom and Jess. It had started there but it never seemed to end and even beating the devil himself didn't appear to have been enough.

Now one of the few people they thought they could trust, an ally, a friend, was standing in a ring of holy fire, blue eyes burning with regret and Sam wondered if it would ever be over, if they would ever find peace, if it would ever stop.

His gaze met Dean's over the yellow flame; his brother was pale, freckles in stark relief against white skin, green eyes wet with tears and betrayal. Sam wanted to say something but he couldn't. He felt sick, lost, confused. Castiel had dragged him from hell, Castiel had bought him back. He should be grateful but he wasn't, wouldn't ever be. His soulless self had caused pain and grief for Dean and it was too much. Hadn't they suffered enough? Hadn't they done enough?

Despite starting the Apocalypse Sam felt he had atoned; he had let Lucifer take him, he had thrown himself into the pit, he had caged the beast and left his brother alone. Every time he thought they had ended it he was wrong, always wrong and he was tired, so tired, almost wishing for death.

He felt Dean's gaze on him, heavy and accusing. It was as if his brother could read his mind and he felt guilty for even thinking about it. He knew that Dean was worried he would scratch the itch, bring down the wall but he didn't intend to go out that way, he intended to go out on a high, maybe during a shoot-out in the Impala; going down in a blaze of glory.

He saw Dean wipe at his eyes; saw Castiel's guilt and pain saw Bobby's disbelief. They had to get over this – he figured – had to get over this the same way they had gotten over everything else that had ever happened – together.

They had been deceived; used by angels and demons, pursued and persecuted, made to fight, lost trust in each other, lost faith in each other but now they were solid, together, ready to fight, ready to kill, ready to tear the world apart.

Team Free Will might be missing a member; Castiel was lost to them just as others had been lost but they had to regroup, look beyond this moment and carry on.

Another big bad exterminated; another evil thing gone and the Winchesters were still here, still fighting.

And that – that was all that mattered….

End