Dangerous Fever II- 25 (V.2)

"Then he was just...gone. From me. Forever."

"That's it? How depressing."

"It was dangerous to feel the way he made me feel."

"Did it make you sick?"

"Yes. It made me sick at heart."

"Well, you know what they say about love? It will crush you where you let it."

It is July 19th. The year is 2011. It's eleven forty five PM. Mr. Blonde Man looks at his watch to confirm the time. I can tell he's wondering where the time even goes. Because in these last couple of minutes... its been gone.

I sneakily place my single shot pistol on my seat next to me. Just in case things go wrong. Which they will. Because they always do. I look over at his men scattered around the old fashioned abandoned bar. There are four of them. Smoking and playing cards. Chatting. Acting casual. Listening to stylish music. Pretending we're not here.

I look back at the man in the white. Smoke from his mouth rises above his head as he stares at me. I tense a little. Because he makes me that way.

As you can see. We're back. At the beginning. Where we first met. Everything else was just a crazy scenario I made up to distract me from what I really want. This is how I wish it would end. With him at my side. With him alive. But...I don't remember the last time he ever truly was. It won't go the way I thought it would. Not the way the story happens in my head. Because he's not supposed to even live after tonight. I'm supposed to kill him. His life is supposed to end here. At the end of my pistol. It doesn't matter what I feel about it or what matters to me. It doesn't matter how much I think about what could have been or happen between us. Or how much fun I had with him at Starbucks. Or when he was chasing me at the park and we wrestled for a bit. Or how we fucked in the elevator at his mothers hotel. How we've fallen out of exploding buildings together and lived from it. Or how I've been raped and violated and how he's been tortured and beaten. How we've fought and lied and broken each others trust. How I was never psychotic and how he made me feel like I was only to keep me safe...Or how Alex died from a heart wound. None of this matters now because it didn't happen. Because it won't. It can't. The only thing true about this story I had imagined in my head the second I laid my eyes on him when I entered this bar was that he was going to die. And even though I don't know this man, I miss him already.

This fever is real. This fever to want him this bad... is as real as ever. And like most fevers...its a dangerous one.

And now he's Just staring. With a risen brow. Looking at me like I'm some weirdo. Like I'm an idiot. Like I just wasted his entire life away. Or that's what I think he's thinking. Then he slowly smirks. Tapping his fingers against his glass of dark liquor. I smile back in exchange where I sit across from him.

"You're quiet now." He states casting an observant gaze. I become anxious. About something. Probably anxious to get things started.

I look up at him. I feel a little flushed. There is a sadness in me I can't explain. A sadness I shouldn't even feel. I don't know this man. But I feel like I do. "Only tonight." I answer solemnly.

He reconnects with my eyes. "Why do you look so sad?" He wonders. I don't know if he actually cares but it would mean a lot to me if he did.

"I was thinking about what could happen if we make this exchange." I respond. Acting dismissive so that he doesn't see right through me.

He laughs lightly. "We walk. We both stay alive. My father is happy and my mom won't try to kill me this time for returning with nothing."

"Is it ever that simple? With a job like this?" I ask.

He doesn't respond. But I note his concentrated glare.

"I think the exchange won't happen. I think something worse will. I think something very dangerous will begin between us and maybe never end."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps not." He shrugs. He's laid back. Like his father.

I smooth out my blazer and cross my hands on the table. Confident in myself. "You'll die Mr. Alex. Eventually."

He smiles arrogantly. "Be kind to me."

"I'm not the kindest guy." I answer instantly.

"We'll see. We're here to do business...?"

"Phai." I answer.

He laughs. "Is that what you liked to be called?"

"I have no other name." I respond back.

"Do you prefer to be called something else? A nickname? Because that's a terrible name."

My grin is now wide. Smiling my best smile. Because I'd rather him not see me hurting. My name is fucking adorable. "My name is Phai, whether you like it or not, Alexander." I roll his name off the tip of my tongue.

"Call me Alex." He corrects hotly as he sits back with a relaxing and charming smile. The shade that casts over his brilliant eyes from his hat makes my lust for him spiral out of control. He takes a sip from his drink then looks back at me with an even weirder expression. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I wish I knew what he feels about me. "Well Phai, you are..." He examines me with that fiery stare. Here it comes. "...breathtaking. But that's not going to keep me from making this exchange and if I have to , if things get out of control, if things do not go my way, I will kill you."

"Thank you for the compliment. Thank you for the fair warning. Anything else you'd like to add before we begin this night?" I respond sourly.

"Nope. I think that's it." He clears his throat. With no cares in the world.

"Well I have a compliment and threat of my own. May I?"

"Shoot." He sips again from his drink.

"I dig your style and I like your face. But this me you see is the worse me and I have no problem taking you out in-front of your men."

"You think some Messenger Boy is just going to waltz in here and take me out? I don't lose." He's so clean in his responses.

"So I've heard. But you better believe the only person you will ever lose to, is me." I grin. And he frowns. Disbelieving the audacity.

"You have a bad attitude." He points out.

"You're insanely shallow."

"You're also a little vain."

"And you're arrogantly prick-ish."

"I forgive you." He says. To end it. Then he winks as I take his drink right from his hand and chug the rest of it.

I put down the glass. Then I sit back. Crossing my leg over the other. Then I fold my arms. "You're forgiven."

He sighs. Accepting the challenge. I'm nothing he's ever seen before. "My father never sends the crazies. In fact he never lets them loose. The head you give him must be some real life changing shit."

I laugh. "I give good head but I assure you, that's not the reason he sent me."

"Are you special?"

"Very."

"I can see why."

Then he signals his men to leave the bar. They do. Right at his command. And now its just me. And him. By ourselves. In the dimly lit bar. He's looking at me and I at him.

God. He's beautiful. Blonde and beautiful.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I ask him generously.

"I'm sure. I've never had a one on one before. You know, a chat, just between me and some nobody I think I can trust?" He insults. But it only makes me want him more.

"Alex." I place my hand over his unoccupied one. "I am a somebody."

I let him examine me with his eyes. "I know what kind you are. I know the sly ones when I see them. Deceit makes you. You trick people, making them believe you feel and are a certain way when really you're an incomplete mess. Just some wacko who plays mind games."

I slip my hand away from his now. "That's why your father depends on me. I get the job done right. And I'm going to get the job done with you aswell Mr. Alex."

"Is that so?"

"I believe it to be." My wording is careful.

"You're daring. I like it."

"Do you think you can still trust me? This nobody messenger boy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

We become numb to the game.

"Because you're different and you are definitely not a woman...who I was actually respectfully awaiting. Because only women deal with me. My father sends them thinking I'm easily persuaded by their beauty and seduction. Instead, their beauty and seduction gets them fucked and killed." He leans in. With that devilish handsome glare. "Did my father send you to seduce me? Because you've been such a treat so far...Phai. And maybe I can fuck you and kill you also, like I do the rest." The delivery of his lines tortures my soul. He's the reason I might not be able to pull the trigger tonight. "But that is of course...up to you. You up for it? I will be gentle at first. Then I'll start the real hard shit."

"You can't intimidate me Mr. Alex. I'm here to stay." I want his hands on me. I want him in me. "And I was totally sent to seduce the shit out of you. As if my story about us fighting crime and being in danger together wasn't seductive enough?"

"So that story was about us huh? That's a shame." He chuckles cruelly.

"I was sure you'd fall instantly in love with me." Dismissing my manners, my hand slowly crawls up his strong thigh from under the table.

He leans his head back and moans. I smile in excitement because I like what I heard. "You are so good but love isn't something that I just do."

He is engaging. More cocky than I had imagined he'd be. But he allows it. My hand touching him. Because he likes it. Because he loves it. I can tell as he shifts in his seat.

"Should we do business?" I say as I squeeze his leg tighter. And my adrenaline starts to rush.

"Let's." He says lighting up a cigarette then blowing the smoke in my face.

That was fucking rude. I cop an attitude. And now my hand reaches his dick. "Your manners are poor."

He just smiles. Unfazed. Good. I like that. Because he won't put up with my shit. "As you hold my dick hostage? My father sent the wrong guy to seduce me. You're bad at it."

I just smile. Then I giggle.

He leans back lazily. He opens his legs a little more. Giving me the space I need between them. "You want the drugs or what?

"Please. So that I can be on my way." I answer flirtatiously.

"On your way up?" He asks. Just to be sure.

I skillfully unzip his pants. "Actually, on my way out."

"Why the impatience?" He moans aggressively. As I rub him with a solid hand. "Are you in hurry to be somewhere?"

"Maybe." I lick my lips.

He's finishing his first cigarette. And I continue rubbing him off. I feel the muscle twitch in my hand. I grin then remove it from his crotch. Leaving him hanging. He quickly frowns. With that 'why did you stop' look. I don't give him an explanation and I don't say a word. Now he looks mad about it. And I can't stress it more. I need him to fuck me as I'm on my goddamn knees.

"Do you like working for the bad guys?" He asks zipping back up his pants. "And if so what's in it for you?"

I watch as he angrily lights up his new cigarette. I can be such a tease.

"Anything I want." I answer proud of myself.

"It's bad business." He warns.

"It's what I signed up for."

"It's what your father and my father signed you up for. And sometimes bad things happen to even pretty faces like yourself."

"I have a feeling something bad will happen either way. I wouldn't want to shoot you accidentally on purpose."

He scoffs. "Do you like your job Messenger Boy?"

I lean in and smile. "Can you tell?"

"How many men have you successfully seduced?" He now leans in and our faces are inches apart. And the sweet scent mixed with harsh liquor coming from him makes me want to explode.

"All of them."

"How many?"

"Why do you care?"

"How many?"

"Not many."

"Tell me."

"10. Maybe 12."

"You're lying."

"I'm not obligated to tell you the truth."

"I want you to feel obligated to tell me." He hisses. Rage in his eyes. Now I know what type of man he is. The dominating kind.

"The amount will haunt you Mr. Alex. I don't think you're ready to know." I play on his anger.

"I want to be haunted and I'm ready for just about anything." He plays back.

"Okay. Only because I think you deserve to know." I lean up. I remove his hat. I place it gently on the table. Then I allow my lips to touch his ear. I whisper the number. Then I sit back and we both laugh out with a fake intentions sending off a vibe that we hated each other and couldn't stand being near each other. But we all know how full of shit we are. We fucking love each other.

"Wow." He says. Impressed. Also coming off as a tad bit jealous.

"Yep. Wow." I reply. "Anyway, enough about me. Do you like your job, Mr. Alex?" I ask the same question.

"I only love it because I'm good at it."

"Don't be so modest. You're great at it. Everyone talks about you. Everyone wants to be you. You're a legend." I beam.

"What else do they say about me?" That ego comes out now.

"They say you can't be seduced. And the only one you've ever been seduced by is your own mother." I smirk harshly. He shifts uncomfortably. I know its a touchy topic for him. Its also a touchy topic for me. Because I want what his mother has.

"She is a tamer of serpents. Maybe she can seduce you too." He replies hurtfully and hurt. Copping some new found attitude.

"You must love her very much."

"Are you antagonizing me!?" He slams his hand on the table. His yell is so deep and manly. I think I fear this man.

"Most definitely." My naughty eyes smile at him.

Then he fixes himself. He calms before he speaks. "I love her. But not in the way that you and others may think."

"There are rumors that you fuck her in order to please her? Your ambition is a real thing."

There it is. The shame. The embarrassment. I see it now. And it's beautifully human. It makes killing him impossible. But that glare of hatred he is directing at me makes it possible by no choice of my own.

"You must think you have it all figured out? Congratulations." He lowers his eyes. He's pissed. Absolutely pissed that I brought it up.

"I'm not here to judge you Mr. Alex. I just want to know if she's the reason why you're so tortured? You don't know what laughter is about, just pain. It amazes me how many people out there want to be you."

He's looking at his empty glass. Wondering where it all went. Wishing he had more. "That's just it. Everyone wants to be me until they discover who I am."

"Who are you Mr. Alex?"

"Unlikable."

"You're liked."

"What about love? Can I be loved by anyone? Anyone other than my mother?" He opens up. A little. He's delicate now.

"They can't love you. Because its impossible. Because you make it impossible." I smile sweetly. "I can love you though. Don't you know?"

"Love me and you die." He says. Then I hear a gun cock from under the table. I look under the table and peek my head back up. I smirk.

"You really do make it difficult to love you. Maybe I can assist you with that, handsome." I point my own pistol on him from under the table.

"You call this even?" He asks.

"I would call it a gun aimed at your dick. What would you call it?"

"I wouldn't call it anything." He blinks with an inner wrath.

"Nothing is a good name for it." I smile as I remove a string of hair from my face.

"You want to know what the most disturbing thing in life is? That anything can go wrong for anyone at any fucking time. So now what?"

I blink. "We open friendly fire? Or you can hand over everything you got."

"Not going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Because I make the rules. You're in my setting."

"Oh Mr. Alex, don't make this hard on me. I want your penis to live. I felt its pulse earlier. I think it wants to live to. I would hate to turn your cock inside out."

"Remember what I warned you about earlier? Good looks mean nothing to me."

"So let's put both guns on the table, hands off at the count of three and talk this out like men? Do you still trust me because you have every right not to."

"You're very bad at this. Send my father a message after this is over. Tell him to send another messenger next time." He slams his gun on the table. Surrendering first.

"That depends. Am I going to live through this night? I can't tell him if I don't."

"You can. But that's up to you. My men are outside just waiting for something to go wrong. And if it does, you can say goodbye to the sweet life working for my dad. But I can tell you don't want to do this exchange. You don't want to be here at all in fact. Truth is, neither do I." He responds again with a relaxing posture. "But it has to be done. So lets do the exchange and forget this night ever happened."

I now put my gun on the table. Next to his golden one. Then we look quietly at each other. He takes the smoke from between his lips. Then offers it to me.

I respectfully decline. "I don't smoke."

"That's good. It's bad for us." As he continues. Then blows the smoke off to the side.

"You should stop then."

"I don't think you really care."

"I don't."

He gives me the meanest look and it turns me on like no other. I have a random and amused smile on my face. Because his temper just kills me. I want him. So bad. But... I have to kill him. Which I was hoping to avoid. But rules are rules.

"Where's the money?"

I pull out the envelope from my awesome red blazer. "Here's your fucking money."

"I doubt that tiny ass envelope can hold 70 grand."

"A check can." I drop it on the table.

"I wanted cash." He picks it up and flings it back at me.

"What's the fucking difference? You're going to cash that shit anyway, right?" I take the envelope and scoot it back over to him. God, he's fucking picky.

"Because the sight of actual cash is legitimate. Anything can go wrong with a check and I know how my dad is. It's probably a void."

"You will take what you get or you will get fucking nothing!" I raise my voice for the first time this night.

"And you have a lot to learn about this type of business, my fucking dearest!" He raises his voice back. "I want actual fucking cash. Cash I can smell, touch and see. So call my fucking father up and tell him that the deal is fucking off!"

We feed off of each other. We become the other. We act like we despise every single minute we're with each other. We're going to be so intense together.

"Not going to happen. This is my story Mr. Alex. And I end this the way I want it to fucking end." I snatch his lighter from the table and light the envelope on fire before his very eyes. He doesn't stop me. "And now you don't get jack shit. You see, that's how that works." Then I flick the burnt piece of envelope in his empty glass of Jack and Coke. And we just watch it burn.

He looks sort of intrigued now. "Does my dad violate you? Penetrate you? Fuck you?"

It was a random question. It catches me off guard. Because he should have been throwing a fit of rage by now. But he doesn't. He continues on smoking like the money meant nothing to him. Even though it mattered a couple of seconds ago. Weird behavior.

"You know he does." I bluntly answer. I have nothing to hide. Or be ashamed of.

"Are you his property?"

"Yes."

"Are you his whore?"

"One of many. But his main."

"Are you forced to do things?"

"Sometimes. But he takes care of me. And I have nowhere else to go, so I stay. I do the things I do to stay comfortable, to stay needed."

"Are you wanted?"

"By more than you know."

"What do you want for yourself?"

All I want is Mr. Blonde man to want me. All I want is him to not deny me. "Nothing."

"Everyone wants something. You're a thief. Taking is what you do. So take what you want."

"There's something I want." I confess. "But it's not going to happen. Not everything comes easy for some of us."

"Some things do." He looks at his watch again. This was the third time. Like he's waiting for something to end. Or for something to start. "Do you like Chinese?"

"I like pizza more."

"I like pizza too. I know this awesome pizza joint downtown. Open 24 hours. Best pizza you'll ever have." He stands and walks away from the table. Leaving the suitcases. Leaving everything. Only taking his gun.

"We're in the middle of something important?" I frown in confusion.

"It's no longer important." He doesn't seem to care.

"Phillip will kill me if I don't give him what he wants."

"You no longer belong to him. Set yourself free tonight."

"That's insane thinking. You were the one who said this had to be done."

He faces me. "I lied. It doesn't have to be done. Nothing ever has to be done and you're right. Chances are if we make this exchange, we would never see the end of this life. I don't know you but I don't want something bad to happen to you."

"Something bad won't happen to me. It will happen to you. It's supposed to happen to you."

"The very second you spotted me, you haven't taken your eyes away. You were staring at me for a complete minute before you decided to walk on over here and greet yourself. That means you either like me and want to fuck, you're scared of me and would rather not die today, or you're not a bad person thus the hesitation."

"I'm definitely a bad person and I'm not scared of you. And maybe I was staring because I didn't like what I saw." I angrily stand.

He grins. Widely. "You definitely liked what you saw. You still like what you see." His smile is now reckless. There is intention behind it.

"Fuck you." I snatch his suit cases. Of drugs. I'm not supposed to be seduced. I do the seducing. How dare he. "I'm taking everything." Then I turn my back on him and walk away. Towards the bar entrance. To leave.

Then he stops me with words as he straitens the sleeve to his right arm. "What is my dad going to do to you when you return to him and he finds out that I'm still alive? He's brutal so I can only imagine. I know you were sent to kill me. That's why you were sad earlier. Because you don't want to. Because I don't think you ever killed anyone in your life. And if I'm your first... that could be...frightening."

Fuck. I say under my breath. Then I drop everything. Walk back over to the blonde. Pull out my pistol and stick it to him. Great. The only man I want, the only man who wants me set free, the only man who wants to see me happy, is the man I'm going to have to kill. I'm totally fucked up. "Let's be clear on one thing, I've killed before and it wasn't frightening one bit."

"Then why am I still alive?"

"It's personal."

He smiles. Like he welcomes death. Or close calls. He puts up his hands slowly. "Go ahead. I'll even call my men off so they won't harm you after its done. Because I'm a generous guy."

"You're supposed to be afraid. You're supposed to not want this!" I yell. I don't know why I'm so pissed or why I'm so sad. My emotions are stronger than I am.

"What should I want instead?"

"You're supposed to want me!" Tears start to show themselves. I'm such a wreck. How would anyone that stable fall for someone like me.

He inches closer. He ignores the gun point blank at his head. "Then let me have you tonight. Let me take you. I haven't eaten all day and it's almost midnight." He says like it matters.

"So." I sniff. Blinking tears away.

"It's now my birthday. You should celebrate it with me. Because I want you to. Because I would love if you joined me."

"I can't. I have to kill you. Those are my orders." How fucked up of me to want him to want me when I'm going to kill him anyway?

"You can kill me after it's over. When you return, tell my father I gave you a hard time. Deal?"

I slowly lower the gun. Looking at the suspicious man. "Are you trying to lure me somewhere so that you can rape and kill me?"

"I'm not a pervert. And I've heard what you've done to those who have tried. So I'm certain you can take care of yourself if that were to happen." He hands me his golden gun. "There. Now you have two weapons you can use against me if I try to harm you in anyway. All I want is for you to join me for my birthday celebration."

I wipe my wet face with the back of my hand. "Honest?"

"Honest."

"Happy Birthday then. I guess." I say motionlessly.

"Thanks."

Then I get quiet. He's also quiet. Waiting for me to say something. Waiting for me to be comfortable with him. Waiting for me to accept him.

"Uhmm, how old are you now?" I break the silence. Trying to make the moment a lot less awkward. And it was awkward. Mostly because I felt bad.

"26."

"Uh what kind of cake do you like?"

"Any."

"What about red velvet cake? You look like a red velvet type of guy."

He smiles. "I love red velvet."

"Red velvet is just chocolate cake with red coloring, just letting you know."

"Did you know..." He walks up to me. Slowly. Until he's inches from my face. "that I'm going to love you for the rest of your life."

I hide my exhilaration behind my defensive stance. "Even if I kill you?"

He nods. "Even if you kill me."

I say nothing to him. And he breaks out in the most loving smile. A smile that ends my distrust. He places his hands gently on my cheeks. Then he finally presses his lips against mine. And I kiss him back. A gift for his birthday. The best damn day in the world.

I was in my red blazer. My hair in a bun. Rose in my front pocket. He was in his white suit. And a flashy white hat. We forget we're at the bar. We forget the case of drugs. We forget the money. We forget what could have been a dangerous fever. Instead, we go get a large cake and some candles. And an extra large pepperoni, black olive, pineapple, jalapeno pizza. Then we go get a hotel to spend the night. We get to know each other. And love each other...in a not so fatal way.

This is what would have happened if I didn't shoot him and leave him that letter. Nothing would be dangerous. There would be no fever. Just me falling for Mr. Blonde Man and him falling for me. His Messenger Boy.

End DFII

-Stranger