Author's note: I wrote this silly piece to dangle something Nero really wants in his face.

Story is post-DMC4.

Aiming For Perfection

Here Nero was, on the doorstep -really more like a strip of patched rug in front of a shambled doorway- and he was already nervous as hell. He wanted to invite Kyrie to chill out with him. What was so nerve-wracking about that? Fortuna, while still looking more or less the same wreck a few days after Sanctus's defeat, was decently traversable. It wasn't like a simple walk couldn't be in order.

Their near kiss was at the forefront of Nero's thoughts. He intended to get it. Both of them were kept busy helping injured villagers from the demon attacks and repairing the destructive parts of the city. Wailing kids and tapping hammers weren't exactly the appropriate mood-setter for a decent kiss. A couple days had gone by since their close encounter with nary a word about it.

What also didn't help was how badly Nero felt like pushing Kyrie up against a wall as soon as the door opened and crushing his mouth on hers then and there to get his kiss. Yeah, really tactful.

But that was the instant gratification inside talking. What Nero really had a yen for was a searing lip lock where his knees puddled messily into his boots.

Not literally, of course. That kind of stuff really could happen with demons around.

Kyrie had told Nero this morning that she was helping one of townsfolk with his home by moving broken objects out of the way and tidying up. Nero didn't know him but somehow he knew Kyrie.

Nero's hand rose and knocked on the door before he figured out what he did. Crap, he wasn't done thinking yet. Nero was supposed to have a plan and it needed perfection.

His brain hurried. Something smooth. Dinner? The oldie but goodie movie?

The door swung open and Kyrie stood there, hair down and disheveled. Nero's planning screeched to a standstill when he saw her. Nero was starting to like her hair without its ponytail. Much nicer to touch and pull her closer to-

"Hi, Nero. You're early."

"I am?" His habitual tardiness became an issue when clocks were invented.

Kyrie tucked her hair behind her ear, adding another point of cute to Nero's checklist of why he should convince her to wear that long hair down always. "Yes, I'm surprised myself. I didn't expect you so soon. I'm not ready to go yet."

Be it the one time Nero made it somewhere promptly and the other person couldn't leave. "What are you doing?"

"Just sweeping up the kitchen. The Savior really made a mess with all the shaking. I'm getting into the swing of things and I ought to be done soon."

Cleaning over being with him? Nero felt like yelling, but Kyrie was already in her groove and he knew better about those when it came to playing air guitar. Once he got going, it took a good long while to stop.

Nero kept his calm facade as he wondered what to do. Invite her somewhere exciting, somewhere unforgettable tonight. The crystal clear waters of the ocean or one of the grassy cliffs with the amazing viewpoint of the whole city from up high.

"Want to walk in town?" was the best he came up with in such short notice. No, the place had to be great! What sort of sights were half demolished buildings and wrecked cars?

Kyrie smiled, seeming not to mind his mediocre suggestion. "I can use the break. Hold on a second." She turned away and disappeared down the hallway. The murmur of voices met Nero's ears and then Kyrie was back and sharing the doormat with Nero.

"All right, I'm officially on my break." Kyrie canted her head and Nero suppressed a groan. She was so cute!

They began their stroll into the busy business district. They stayed silent for a little while before Kyrie let out a chuckle. Nero's curious stare prompted her to explain. "Oh, I remembered a conversation I had with Qiflur. About you."

"Me?" Thrilled wasn't the emotion Nero felt having a stranger talk about him with her.

"Yes. I said you defeated the Savior and Qiflur tried to guess how. Oh, his ideas were hysterical! Somehow he came up with ketchup and a tuning fork."

"What?" What kind of guy was this Qiflur?

Covering her mouth to stifle another wave of laughter, Kyrie eventually composed herself again. "He had a whole theory about that. You should've been there to hear!"

Nero stiffened. Qiflur must have been pretty charming to get Kyrie giggling as much as she was. "He's funny, huh?"

Kyrie's eyes lit up. "Absolutely. He came up with a pickle theory too. My stomach hurt for minutes after this story." Saying it caused another round of laughter.

"Did you want to be with him? I shouldn't interrupt since you two are having a grand outing." A hint of irritation slipped into his comment before Nero could stop himself. He wasn't a fascinatingly humorous kind of guy like some people were naturally.

Kyrie leaned her head playfully toward him. "Are you mad that I'm enjoying his company?"

"No." Nero was proud to utter this sedately. The answer came out so smoothly she couldn't tell he lied.

Unfortunately, his Devil Bringer arm in its glowing demonic way, wasn't so fooled. It flared bright blue as it was wont to do when Nero grew agitated. He discreetly cover it by crossing his arms, but this body language looked even more damning and didn't simply scream jealousy.

Kyrie pretended to appear serious, but Nero spied the lightness in her dark eyes. "Good. Because he's 72."

The burn in his face meant he was blushing and Nero hated it. "Maybe you like the mature type."

"Oh, I have my preferences." The woman stared up at him and in a blink her eyes took on a come hither look which was enough to spiral Nero's insides to spaghetti. Kyrie blinked again and her amorous expression dissipated so fast, Nero couldn't be sure she really gave him a flirty glance.

But his stomach did a backflip; she must have.

The crowds grew thicker as they entered the heart of the bustling business district. Evening was still a ways off and a good number of people were already here. The majority of the main road could be traveled on, but bigger spots of rubble scattered the road sides and some construction pieces hadn't been cleared away yet. Nero hopped over a fallen and misshapen pipe which had passed as a stop sign in its glory days.

"The lampposts are still here," Kyrie voiced in relief just as Nero saw them and thought the same thing. To him, the tall lights lining this area was one of the most memorable pieces here. The same lights were here when he came to Fortuna as a kid years ago. The buildings changed since then, with new shops and revamps of older stores, but the lampposts remarkably stayed the same. They were made of bronze or something like that.

A quick grin passed Nero's face at an early memory. "Hey, did I ever show you what I wrote on one of those?"

Kyrie's mouth fell open. "When?"

"When I first came. I had a marker and a lot of space to write on. I think I wrote something intellectual and awesome." Well, whatever he wrote wouldn't really, but he could hope it was. He couldn't for the life of him remember. Nero began searching the bottom of each post they passed for his telltale scribblings.

"You defaced one of them?"

"Hey, I was juvenile."

"You sure that's past tense?"

Nero raised a brow at Kyrie and she smiled innocently.

He recognized the small scrawl of his writing at the base of a post and brightened. "All right, here it is. Let's see what advice I came up with." He stooped low and peered hard. His eyes widened at the aged words and his older self now winced. A streak of rebelliousness was still infused within Nero, but boy, that joke was bad. How he made such a crude joke combining a prostitute and Sanctus and his religion Nero mused if he actually wrote it.

Kyrie, standing beside him, craned her head. "What's it say?"

Nero jumped up a tad too quickly and felt blood rush to his head. Yes, that text was not something he could impress Kyrie with. "Nothin'. I can't read it anymore."

"Well, let me try-" Kyrie began, but Nero took her by the shoulders in rising panic.

"No! We should, um, keep going. Places are gonna close soon."

"You can't leave me hanging!" Kyrie ducked around his arms. Nero snatched her waist from behind and spun her away from the foul words. He totally had to scratch them out. No way he was letting Kyrie read his insanity!

"It's one thing you can live without." Nero was absolutely certain about it.

She squealed at being hauled away and made a grab for the post. Her fingers luckily missed latching on. "You're unfair. You were going to show me!"

Passerbys began to stare as from the outside it appeared as if the lamppost meant enough to be a security blanket that Kyrie couldn't leave. Nero gladly wanted to get away.

"You're acting out of line, missy." A mix of laughter and mortification caused Nero to joke. Kyrie stopped groping for the light but she sure could wiggle. Not that he minded, but he preferred to be indoors and not glaring at a ludicrous scrawl of a joke that was going to make Kyrie spit at him in disgust and never speak to him. Nero knew she had respected religion much more than he did before Sanctus the freak had turned on mankind and keeping her away was all the imperative.

"You're a big tease, Nero!" Kyrie groused.

She yelped when Nero spun her around and pinned her against the back of the post. Both of them breathed hard and Kyrie finally ceased struggling. Nero watched her face and saw her chest dipping up and down. As he kept staring into her eyes, everything fell away around them becoming just the two of them. No noise, no distractions.

"Kyrie." Nero's quiet voice was hoarse. He slowly reached out and delicately touched his palm to her cheek. Her warmth surged through his skin and Nero swore that time stopped.

Smiling, Kyrie gently placed her hand on top of his. "Nero."

Nero stepped in, his heart thumping in his ears like a conga. How did people focus when surroundings sounded like they were being amplified? Hell, was he supposed to concentrate with this noise? It wasn't like he could turn down the volume.

But enough of that. He eased his face forward. The perfect moment. He was going to love this. His lips leaned in to brush gently with Kyrie's.

Only to have her startle and jerk away when a small set of children's hands holding a box shot out between them. Even Nero jolted, having been so concentrated on her.

Both of them looked down to find a cheeky little boy dressed in the familiar garb of Fortuna's version of Boy Scouts. He was peddling, so of course he had to grin.

"Do any of you have donations? All funds go to rebuilding the museum."

If the glare Nero pierced the kid with didn't trump him, the angry aura emanating from Nero should've done it. The boy was oblivious, drawn by monetary proceeds and the next shiny new pin on his near pinless sash around his shoulder.

Kyrie sighed heavily, though Nero had difficulty placing the why. "The museum? Oh, I liked the gallery." She rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a couple loose coins which barely added up to half a dollar. "It's all I have on me." She dropped the change into the slot at the top of the box. "Nero?"

"Don't have anything." Nero kept frowning down. No way he was giving cash to a mood-spoiler.

The merry kid was too ecstatic at the change he just got to pay attention to the mental daggers coming from him. He thanked them and jingled down the path to his next unknowing victim.

Alone again, the couple almost met eyes, but the romantic mood had all but evaporated.

"Shall we?" Nero spoke as if their intimate moment hadn't transpired. Crap, it almost did.

"Right." Kyrie looked a little disappointed herself.

Off they went, down the street. Kyrie glanced at the sky, probably thinking about the favorable weather -which was pretty good with a light breeze- while Nero tried to dredge up something witty. He came up with, "Want to get a hot dog?"

Romantic candlit dinner this was not.

Noticing the steaming hot dog cart up ahead that Nero zeroed in on, Kyrie chirped, "Sure. Oh wait, I donated what money I had a minute ago. I really didn't bring anything with me when I cleaned house."

Well, what better way to spend moolah than on a girl he liked? Nero fished into one of his abundant number of jacket pockets for some bills he knew would come in handy. He wasn't hungry, but he could be a gentleman as far as buying a snack was concerned. "The hot dog's on me."

They stopped in front of the cart where the waft of frying wieners permeated the air. The vendor brightened as they approached because they actually did not pass her like 99% of her customer base.

Kyrie turned to Nero. "Don't put yourself out for me. You don't need to get me anything."

Nero shrugged. "It's no biggie. It's like a late lunch, right?"

"Are you buying a hot dog for yourself?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"Then forget it. I don't want a hot dog."

"But you just said you wanted one."

"Not at your expense."

"I told you it's fine."

"I don't want to get one if you aren't."

The vendor switched her gaze and big grin back and forth.

"Kyrie, it's my money."

"You worked hard for it. What was your last job, a demon infestation at a motel?"

"I got through it and got paid. Now, we can eat."

"So you are eating?"

"No, I'm treating you."

"I thought we were just walking."

"Food becomes an issue when we pass by a perfectly legitimate hot dog stand and you've been stacking boxes and whatever for hours."

The vendor's genial expression had frozen on her face, still waiting for someone to fork over cash.

"Nero, there aren't such things as illegal hot dog stands."

"I'll bet you haven't eaten since you worked."

"I had breakfast."

"That was almost four hours ago, yeah?"

"I can wait a bit longer."

"Oh man. You. Are. Eating. Right. Now. I'm not letting you starve."

"Only if you join me."

"All right, I'll split a hot dog with you. Sound good?"

Kyrie smirked, having won that debate. "Yes."

Nero survived this verbal entourage. Did these contests with women always feel like winning or losing a war?

With a bill in hand, Nero requested to the working woman, "I'd like-"

The lady interrupted. "A hot dog. I got it."

As Nero and Kyrie waited, Nero asked his partner, "What do you feel like putting on it?"

"Mustard."

All the arguing made Nero feel like putting every condiment in the bun just to make up for crawling out of that crossfire. Well, maybe not the onions. Hardly the thing to put in one's mouth to get romance raring. He motioned towards the row of about seven condiments.

"Everything? Are you crazy?"

"I am."

"I can't stomach everything-"

The vendor interjected cheerily before round two of argument began, "Might I suggest you split those, too?" She exchanged their food with Nero's money.

The customers looked at one another. "Sounds great," they agreed simultaneously. Kyrie balanced their snack between them to let Nero pile on what he felt like.

With the unevenly condimented hot dog procured, the couple wandered to a close wooden bench to settle down and devour. Kyrie was still holding on to their food. Nero didn't mind; it was almost as if she were feeding him. The thought gave him perhaps too much happiness and he quietly chortled before he could contain himself.

"What's so funny?" Kyrie asked between bites.

Nero uttered the first thing which came to mind that wasn't the truth. "New hardware."

"What?" Kyrie's arm with the hot dog shook in giggles.

Nero's face reddened. "I mean, not how that sounds like. I, uh... Red Queen's in the shop." His beloved sword is what he intended to say. The blade incurred a ton of nicks from his fights against The Savior and other hell beasts. Sharpening was a must.

Kyrie now bore a crazily adorable shy expression. "Red Queen is strong."

"Yep." He chomped on a mouthful of sweet relish. Once they finished their ends and met in the middle... kiss! It was going to rock. Should he speed up or slow down now to sync properly? Too fast and a chance could fly right by, but being a slowpoke might be worse because he could miss his dive point and not know it.

Wait, was Nero even thinking about kissing anymore? He shifted, becoming hyper aware of the sudden snugness in his pants.

"Can you show me how it works sometime?"

Nero resisted gagging by quickly covering his mouth. He sincerely hoped Kyrie spoke of the same subject because Nero sure wasn't with it.

Kyrie went on. "You fought so many demons with it. Was it hard?"

He had to close his eyes and physically concentrate everything to swallow. "Very." They were so absolutely not on the same wavelength. Thank god Kyrie couldn't mind read. Men would never live to see daylight if women knew what rampant thoughts whizzed through their minds at the most inappropriate moments.

While Nero occupied himself with overanalyzing, Kyrie ended up eating the remainder of their hot dog. Nero missed his chance for a smooch because he was too busy not suffocating.

Brushing her lap of crumbs, Kyrie asked, "Want to see the ocean?"

"The ocean," Nero breathed in a half sigh. There was the best spot for a kiss.

Kyrie gaily took his demon hand into her soft ones. "I'll take that as a yes. I can fit in a quick trip before I go."

A zing zapped Nero, a mix of giddiness and oncoming dread. "You're leaving?"

"My cleanup job I left undone, remember?"

Nero had totally forgot. This wasn't a day outing but a respite to recharge the batteries so Kyrie could return to work. "Y-yeah."

They were on their feet and moving. They were strolling and doing the coupley thing by holding hands. Was it wrong to feel this much glee by such a small gesture? Nero wanted to yodel.

All too soon, they reached the water. Nero hadn't been here for many weeks. Demon exterminations didn't leave him much energy or spare moments to look out at the lapping waves. A short dock stretched from the sand out to the water. A wood bench was built in the middle. It hadn't been there when he last came. He didn't see the point of it. There weren't any fish to catch.

Kyrie noticed the puzzlement on Nero's face and she stepped up onto the planks. "If you sit over there and stare out as far into the horizon as you can, you'll feel like you're sitting on water. You don't see this at all." She waved a hand to their spot.

They shifted around and Nero took a seat. There was room next to him for her, but she stood behind him. Right away, Nero understood what Kyrie meant. His peripheral vision wasn't obstructed by anything, unlike being in a boat. A whole lot of ocean spread out before him.

The shining waters became hypnotic and Nero relaxed. Minutes or hours could very easily pass in a blink.

More like one minute. A touch of queasiness grew in the pit of Nero's stomach when the godlike perspective of undulating waves as far as the eye could see became too much motion for him. Nero pulled his gaze away from miles away and glanced to the side on land. Kyrie was crouched down and squinting into the sea.

"See any forms of life?" Nero joked.

Kyrie craned her neck. "I... might be on to something. I saw a shine."

"Probably a tin can."

She leaned over farther. "I think there's color."

"Uh, maybe you shouldn't do that." Nero turned to her.

"I'm fine." Her index finger darted out in excitement. "It has different colors. It can't be a can. What's if it's a gemstone or something like that?"

Nero slid off his seat and huddled beside Kyrie. The intriguing glint wasn't wowing him because there was none. "Where?"

Kyrie gestured again. Nero still didn't find it. She scooted over to allow him to take up her spot. He stared out a second time and caught the flash of light.

Now he was intrigued. Fortuna's oceans weren't exactly prime catch material when it came to strange and possibly loaded treasure. He followed Kyrie's suit and arched his neck to find the best view before he would fling out his demon arm to snatch whatever it was.

"Can you tell what it is?" Kyrie's voice rang in excitement.

"Will in a sec." Nero grinned and readied his demon arm for a long toss. His toes felt for the very edge of the dock for farthest reach.

The tips of his boots then chose to slant forward into empty space at the motion. Nero's arms flailed. Life ended as he knew it for what came next was inevitable. Nero automatically pushed Kyrie away roughly so she couldn't meet the same gruesome fate. Gravity propelled him forward to unwillingly swim.

Cold water splashed as Nero dunked face down. He plunged right in the briny water, his head sinking under to darkness. Paralyzed from the frigid shock, it took Nero a few seconds for his brain to tell the rest of his body to haul tush and get air. Nero kicked where he hoped was upwards.

He managed to pull his head out of the nasty water with a gasp before he swallowed any of it. He dragged his water-clogged self out, his heavy clothes and hair sopping. The mysterious object was nowhere to be seen.

Kyrie winced at the soggy sight. "If you didn't move me, you might not have fallen in."

"No, no, it's great. I needed a shower." Nero the joker grumbled with a chatter of teeth.

Kyrie stared at him. Nero didn't register this because he actually took a 180 degree survey around them to find what else was going to disrupt what was a botched and moot plan of kissage. A slavering dog escaped from its owner? Another whiny kid? The hooligan demon hunter Dante landing on him from the sky? The list was endless.

A gigantic shudder seized Nero and locked his limbs when a freezing breeze picked up. What he considered balmy weather had dropped to arctic temperature climate. Freezing his butt off only reminded him of the largeness of his failure.

An eclipse fell over his face. Crud, what punishment came next? He shut his eyes. He didn't want to find out.

Blessed heat passed over Nero's face. He eventually registered that Kyrie's lips were on top of his. Was pneumonia causing him to hallucinate?

A millennium of blank euphoria passed before they parted. Nero opened his eyes and found himself thinking how glad he was to sit because his knees would give out if he was standing. Kyrie's face was pink and she looked pretty happy. Everything was perfect and nothing could ruin this beautiful slice of life.

A ribbit sounded from inside Nero's hood. A shiny, multi-colored amphibious head poked out.

- THE END -