Surprise! I updated :)

Okay so I know I have been gone for a long time. I did have a good real life reason... I was surprised to see how many comments I continued to get and especially more recently. Thank you all for still hanging in there. Its not a huge chapter but i figured this was better than nothing and I hope to have the time to put more up soon (I may be changing somethings I originally planned for but I'm not sure yet although the end will be the same because I wrote the epilogue a long time ago)

I didn't want to leave the breathtaking waterfall cavern, but I knew I would have to meet everyone eventually and putting it off wasn't going to make it any easier. I followed Burns through the narrow hallway once more and up a man made stairway that stood out in the natural beauty of the cave. My hand gripped the metal handrail tighter as I heard a murmur that I immediately recognized as the sound of a lot of voices echoing off a rocky room – hard to believe I once mistook that for running water.

We entered a large open cavern and I was flooded with another rainbow of colours, this time the bright colours of all the different tents that spotted the entire ground. All different sizes and colours arranged into little grouping forming a little indoor town. I was almost expecting to see street signs and a corner store by the way they had put this all together.

I was greeted first by Rob and Nate passing us with a casual wave on their way out of the room and some familiar faces from that first night on the side of road when our two groups met. The rest of the introductions were a bit of a blur with so many names and faces, I was sure I would never get them all straight. Thankfully most people were very receptive to my being there, silver eyes and all, which I credit to the way Burns has ingrained himself in this community.

There were a few exceptions that turned away as we approached, which made Burns sigh heavily. "I apologize for them Wanderer. It is tough for some people here to fully accept us as a part of the community." He nodded to an older couple that were leaning close to one another talking in hushed tones, glancing occasionally back in our direction. "That's Victor and Angela. They have been here almost a year and have yet to talk to me. It is hard for them to see me as any different than the souls that took over their two sons."

"It is hard to blame any of them for not being able to see past that." I'd seen firsthand, several times the pain we caused some people just by being in the same room.

We met a few more people before making our way over to the edge of the room and a small group of tents that were off slightly to the side of everyone else. An elderly gentleman was making his way out of one of the tents and greeted Burns with a formal handshake.

"Good morning Walter," he said.

My breath caught in my throat. Walter. My memories rushed back to my dear friend – one of my first friends. This gentleman had the same mannerisms and my Walter and he looked roughly the same age as well. I found it very hard to make it through the introductions without bursting into tears.

Burns looked down at me as Walter walked away and was about to ask me about it when we were interrupted by a very happy bubbly voice.

"Hiya Red!"

I looked over to see a pretty girl practically skipping her way over to us. She was about my height with long blond hair again much like me but without the uncontrollable curls. She was waving at Burns, who was apparently also called red. I stifled a giggle at the nickname but was happy to have my mind distracted.

"Hi Jessica," he replied. "I would like you to meet Wanda." It was different hearing Burns' use the name Jeb had given but it seemed appropriate to be less formal with her.

"You look like you are my age." She said excitedly.

"How old are you?" I asked as I knew it could be difficult to judge.

"Just turned 14 last month." She had a proud smile on her face when she told me this.

"We are pretty close, but I am 17 and a half." It hit me that I would be turning 18 in a few months and how that had seemed like such a momentous event in my mind such a short time ago. "You're actually really close in age with Jamie back at my caves." Not my caves anymore.

"Really? I would love to meet her!" She bounced on the spot where she stood. It reminded me of how I reached during the first raid I had been on in this host and how Ian had to tether me to the ground. "I can't remember the last time I was around someone the same age as me."

"I'm sure he'd be excited to meet you too." I said, correcting her assumption of Jamie's gender. A blush swept across her cheeks and I immediately regretted correcting her. "It's a common mistake with the name Jamie. Don't worry about it please."

She stopped bouncing and leaned in closer to me, checking to see if anyone was close enough to hear her before she spoke. "Is he cute?"

Oh. I misunderstood her blush and it was one I was used to experiencing first hand.

I knew Jamie first through Melanie's memories from the point of view of a sister of her brother, and even in the new host I still looked at him in this way. Not really an ideal way to tell someone if he is cute, but from my understanding of humans and in comparison to others I would have to say that he was attractive. "Yes I think you would find him cute."

A huge grin spread across her face and her eyes lit up with mischievious gleam. "Then I really do need to meet him." She glanced over her shoulder at her grandfather. "Just don't tell my gramps, Okay?"

I made the shape of a cross over my heart. "You secret is safe with me." I promised and with a wink added. "And you know souls are horrible liars."

"Jessica, do you know where Natalie is?" Burns asked looking around. "I really wanted to introduce Wanderer to her."

"She's asleep in her tent, I think. I can go get her for you." She offered.

"No, that is alright." Burns shook his head. "She should rest. I'm sure they will meet soon enough and I think I have overwhelmed Wanderer enough for her first day."

"I am not too overwhelmed." I said, though I was feeling drained whether it was emotionally or physically I couldn't tell.

Burns only smiled politely at me, knowing I was putting on a façade. We exited the caves through more windy paths and came out into the bright sunshine. I closed my eyes enjoying the warmth of the rays on my small face.

It had been two months that I had been part of this new community and honestly I would have to say I still felt like a bit of an outsider. Sure almost everyone was nice to me and made efforts to get to know me but it somehow just wasn't the same. I credit that to the automatic connection I had felt for Jaime, Jared and Jeb through Melanie's body when I had arrived there. I had an instant family.

This time it involved more work. Work that I wasn't giving my full effort.

Today was going to be different I told myself and I got dressed for the day. Today I was going to make an effort to get to know someone as more that an acquaintance, and I had a good idea as to who it was going to be.

I met Burns on my way into the caves as per usual. He always made sure he was there to walk in with me, even though he had probably already been down there for a couple of hours doing odd jobs. At least I had a true connection with him and it didn't require any work on my part. We were the same and that meant that we knew each other on a deeper level naturally. Sure, we had spent many and afternoon or late into the night talking about our past planets and our love for this one, but more than that, we just knew how each other ticked.

I had only felt that with one other person. And I knew in my heart no understanding of any being would ever compare to that.

I shook the thought from my mind and turned to my tall friend. "Burns?"

He looked down at me with a smile. "Yes Wanderer?"

"Would you be terribly offended if I didn't sit with you at breakfast this morning?"

"Of course not," he replied. "Is everything okay? I hope it is not because of anything I have done."

I felt a blush lightly flush my cheek. I did not mean for him to take it personally. "Not at all. I just felt that I should get to know other people in this community better."

I was again greeted with a big smile. "I think that is a wonderful idea, Wanderer."

Once I had put together a plate filled with warm pancakes and fresh fruit I made my way over to a spot across the room. I could feel a few heads turn my way as I went opposite the other soul in the room but I purposely ignored them. Instead I focused on the quiet woman who was equally as focused on her quickly disappearing breakfast.

"Do you mind if I sit with you Natalie?" I asked, so quietly I wasn't sure if she was even going to hear me.

"Sure Wanda!" She said, looking up as she stuffed another bite into her mouth. "Though I might not be too talkative until this plate is empty." She rubbed her round stomach. "Somebody really like pancakes."

"You know what it wants to eat?"

Natalie laughed and I blushed. "Not really, but it makes me feel better to have someone to blame for all the food I have been eating lately."

I hadn't spend a lot of time with Natalie since I had first met her in the cave for two reasons. First, she was often forced to sit aside from activities by those who were concerned about her health and that of her unborn baby, which was completely understandable considering there really wasn't the usual health care provided for pregnancies. And secondly, I truly just didn't know how to act around her. As a soul we didn't look at reproduction the same way - at all. It was overly complicated and messy in our minds and was hard fathom for our species as it was so unique to the universe. I will admit I had been watching the changes in her from afar with great curiosity, especially lately since she has changed so much physically.

I had barely made it through one of my pancakes when Natalie and already polished off her plate. "Would you like one of mine?" I offered, knowing it would most likely go to waste anyways.

She shook her head. "No. I couldn't." She said, but her eyes couldn't help but glance longingly at my plate.

I lifted on with my fork and place it infront of her. "I insist. I could never finish a meal and always ended up sharing." I explained.

"Well if you insist." She said, already digging her fork into the fluffy goodness.

Natalie was an easy person to talk to and I quickly realized I had no reason to fear getting to know her. It was just like talking to anyone else. Just with a very round stomach that was barely hidden under her shirt. As I didn't have a set chore today I decided to offer a hand with whatever she was doing, knowing that physically if she could do it then I should have no problem. I was slightly wrong on that account. Though it was nothing you needed to be strong to accomplish. Mending clothes took a skill that I had not learned yet. Luckily she was a good teacher and I found that I was picking everything up very easily. I even found that my tiny delicate hands were actually perfect for a needle and thread.

She was very open with me which was somewhat surprising but I found that by the end of the morning I had learned about almost her entire life leading up to our arrival which was keenly avoided – though I'm not sure if that was for her comfort or my own. She had grown up in the northern states but had moved south when she went to college and she was surprised by how much she ended up missing the snow, saying that you don't appreciate the warm sunny days until you have the cold bleak ones. I could relate to that with the different types of planets I had visited.

"You don't realize you'll miss something until it is gone." She explained. I could definitely relate to that.

"You must miss the baby's father terribly." I said, regretting it almost immediately and Natalie suddenly looked like all of the air had been sucked out her body. I quickly tried to take it back. "I didn't mean to bring that up…I'm so sorry. That was so stupid of me."

She placed her hand on her stomach and a peaceful look washed over her face. Without looking up she replied. "I just remember that I have a piece of him with me every day. I only hope that I can express to this little one just how special their daddy was."

"What was his name?" I asked cautiously.

"James." She gasped as she said it, but then a smile crossed her face. "The baby must know who we are talking about because they are kicking up a storm all of the sudden."

I couldn't imagine how that could make a person smile or why something violent like kicking would be considered a good thing. She must have seen my thoughts written across my face because she offered to let me feel her stomach. I hesitated but was reassured that it was perfectly normal. I let her guide my hand to the side of her stomach and as soon as I rested it against her shirt I felt a gentle nudge. I couldn't help but smile.

"Not quite what you were expecting, is it?" A deep voice sounded behind us. I turned around without moving my hand to see Burns bringing in some more clothes to be mended. I could still feel the tiny movements under my hand.

"It's not messy at all." I said looking at Burns as he chuckled. Natalie's face scrunched up as she looked at me confused. I realized that she didn't know what souls thought of the human reproductive process and that my comment must have come across wrong. I smiled at her with my hand still pressed against her stomach. "It's magical."

Her face relaxed and she out a hand over mine. "That same thought crosses my mind every day."

"Do you mind if I help you again tomorrow?" I asked. "I would love to hear more about James."

"Of course, but we may not have much more to do if you work any faster." She said. "And I would like to hear more about what made you side with us."

I agreed, which I knew meant bringing up who made me want to stay here and fight for their survival – minus a few key details. As I walked back to the house by myself, I couldn't help my mind wander to the thought of being pregnant. Though in my dream I was not doing it alone like Natalie was. I had a partner. By the time I made it to the front steps I was once again fighting back tears. I had left entire planets with barely a second thought but I still couldn't let go of a cave only a short distance away. Maybe that was the problem. It was too close to separate from. I had to remove myself from it all somehow, and I had an idea of a way to accomplish that. Even if it made my hands sweat from nerves.

I went to the kitchen, pulling open all the drawers until I found what I was looking for. As I wrapped my delicate hands around the dangerous metal a shiver ran through my body and I had to force myself not to open my hand and let the metal crash back into the drawer. Glancing around I made my way upstairs to the bathroom, hoping no one would see me wandering through the home with what could be best described as a weapon in my hand.

I stood infront of the mirror, looking at my reflection. I knew this would not have even crossed my mind when I was with Ian, but after being away from him for so long I felt like I had to try to sever the connection as much as possible. With a deep breath I raised my hand a quickly made the cut.

That's it for now. I'll try not to wait 2 years for the next one ;)