Last Resort

The clubroom door smashes back into the wall. After the abuse it's taken all these years, it splits on impact. The rest of the members look at it for a moment, which gives me enough time to gather my thoughts.

"So what did you want?"

Ah, the choking death grip on my tie. So many memories.

Well...Haruhi. We're graduating soon, and I think it'd be a shame to let the brigade... fade away. I think ...it might be worth ...discussing the future.

"What...are you talking about?"

I'd like to ...spend more time with you. Even though we'll probably end up in different colleges.

Silence. I can hear my heart beat. Five times. Ten.

"O...kay. Tomorrow, cafe next to the train station, three. We'll talk then."

I'll be there.

And Haruhi Suzumiya leaves. At a run. I've never known her to be shy.

I turn to see Koizumi smile. "You should have felt her heart leap. And if you don't turn up for that meeting... Well played. I never thought you'd be able to just admit your feelings like that."

I look at him.

Feelings? What feelings?

He jerks. "What?"

I know how this is supposed to go. Guy, girl, they argue a lot... and, inevitably end up hopelessly in love. But... just for a second, what if that doesn't happen? What if I'm/we're not in love? What then?

The others turn to look at me.

If we're not in love...nothing changes. Nothing at all.

My feelings, such as they are, don't matter! They never have. I have to stay close to Haruhi, or one of your organisations kills me. It's that simple.

Once upon a time, I had a choice, and I picked this place. I made the right decision, and I don't regret it, but I have to keep to it. Haruhi is too smart to trick easily, and I don't dislike spending time with her. It's not as though this is a sentence. I'll have to do my best to be good to her.

I reach for my pocket, and the notebook page of 'did you just X Cthullu' with one box left to tick. What a pointless pursuit. All this time, I've been treating her like some fun game that occasionally gets dangerous. But it's more than that. I step up and throw the page out the window. When I turn back, Koizumi has taken a garrotte out of his sleeve and placed it on the table. He looks up at me. I throw it out the window too, not that that'll make a difference if they really decide I'm a liability.

"I hope you know what you're doing... I'm trusting you to treat Ms. Suzumiya responsibly."

Have I ever let you down before?

He starts to speak, then changes his mind.

I leave the clubroom and head for the stairs. If I live to see the bottom, I can look forward to a life of forced contact with Suzumiya Haruhi. Well, these last three years have been fun.

Caretaker of the Universe for Life, huh?

I can live with that.