Chapter 7: Never Leave

The park with its single swing set and merry-go-round came into view in the dusky sky. A small figure was sitting on one of the swings already. Damn. Rachel thought. I was hoping to be alone. Wait. Is that Miss Pillsbury? The closer Rachel got to the park the more her heart started to race. Miss Pillsbury was sitting on the swing that Rachel broken in from her toddler years. She was staring back at her without running away. Why isn't she running away? Oy! Now I'm confused. First she wants to talk, then she doesn't, and now she does! She is one indecisive lady!

Rachel slowly approached Emma, wincing with each step as the pain finally moved up her legs and straight through her core. Emma didn't move from her place on the swing even when Rachel sat down next to her.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked her counselor.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. My house is right there. I come here often just to think." Emma replied, her voice shaking slightly.

"Oh. I used to come here to think, too, when I was younger. But I stopped after…"

"After what?" Rachel didn't know how to respond. She looked at Emma searching for a clue as to whether she really wanted to know or if she had nothing else to say. Rachel saw right into Emma's soul. She saw the raw emotion lying there just on the surface. She knew Emma had other things on her mind. But she also saw something else. She saw the concern she had for Rachel. She saw the interest. She saw the love.

"I used to come here when I was upset. I would sit on the swings, the one you're sitting in to be exact, and cry. It was never a problem because there was hardly anyone ever here. But one day when I was 7 a bunch of boys about my age came to play baseball. They saw me crying and came over to me. I thought they were going to say something nice like 'don't cry' or 'it's ok' but instead they laughed at me. They teased me for crying like a baby. I ran home and haven't been back here since then."

Emma was watching Rachel's soft, succulent lips as she told her story. She hated seeing her little diva upset. "Then why'd you come here tonight?" The words slipped from Emma's tongue with a tone of annoyance. She wanted to be alone to figure out a way to get Rachel out of her mind but instead the beauty was now sitting down beside her, telling another heart breaking truth of her childhood.

"I don't really know. I just felt like I had to; like it was the only place I could go."

"Oh, I, Rachel!"

"What?"

"You're leg! It's bleeding! Rachel, did you cut yourself again?"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't stop myself! I just hurt so badly. I need you."

"I know. Come on, let's get you cleaned up. An infection is the very last thing you need." Emma took Rachel's hand and led her to the back door of her house. She walked her up the stairs, into the bathroom, grabbing clean towels along the way. Her nimble fingers made quick work of Rachel's buttons on her blouse. She gently slid her skirt down being careful not to smear any of her bright red blood on the fabric. Emma stopped and stared at the sight before her. What she saw wasn't a sixteen year old, depressed, student. Instead, she saw a mature young woman struggling to keep her life under control. She saw a beautiful being, glowing with perfection through the tattered shell of scars masking her true self. She saw Rachel Berry, her love. Emma gently tugged at the back of Rachel's bra, freeing the upper portion of her body from their constraints. She worked her fingers under the band of Rachel's panties and slid them down as well, taking care to not stain them with blood.

Emma turned the handle of the tub until warm water came rushing from the faucet. She guided Rachel into the large tub built for two. Rachel looked up at Emma, gesturing for her to join her. She politely refused and instead knelt at the edge. She reached for a clean wash cloth and lifted Rachel's leg to the edge of the tub. She gently scrubbed around the cuts making sure not to scratch any open. If there's one thing Emma couldn't stand it would be blood. It's so dirty and can carry too many horrible diseases. Usually she would never find herself even this close to another person that could be possibly holding millions of harmful bacteria. But there was just something so clean and pure about Rachel. She didn't have to worry about getting sick or becoming contaminated. All she worried about was cleaning up Rachel and making her pain go away. She continued to wash the rest of Rachel's body with extra care. Rachel gazed at Emma, watching her every move. She followed her hands up and down her body. She watched the way she subtly licked her lips when she came to Rachel's nether regions.

God, she looks so beautiful. She's the nicest, most caring person I have ever met in my entire life. I have to be with her. I can't survive without her. I love her so, so much.

Rachel stilled Emma's hand with her own. She gave her a soft, longing kiss that lasted mere seconds but felt like eternity to Emma. "Join me, please." Rachel gave one of her stunning smiles as incentive for Emma to get in the tub. It worked. Emma slipped out of her dress and placed it delicately in the laundry bin. She put one leg into the tub, followed by the next. Slowly, she lowered herself into the warm, inviting water. Her head lolled back against the side of the tub as her whole body relaxed. Emma's eyes closed while images of Rachel danced across the darkness. She jumped slightly at the unexpected touch of Rachel's soft fingers along her side. Rachel had pulled the small woman into a tight embrace. She worked small circles along Emma's stomach and thighs with her fingertips, increasing the pressure ever so slightly around the most sensitive areas of her lower body. With one finger she teased Emma's entrance while her other hand held her face tight against her in a fiery kiss. Rachel pushed one finger inside, exploring the warm cavern of her counselor. Emma quivered from the sensation now pulsating through her core. She wondered how such a young and innocent girl seemed to know exactly what she was doing. She had never felt so much pure pleasure from anything in her whole thirty years of existence. Rachel worked at Emma's bundle of nerves with her thumb as she thrust two of her fingers in and out of her squirming counselor.

"Rachel. Rachel. Rachel, oh God, Rachel!" Emma whispered Rachel's name in between gentle kisses and gasps for breath. Rachel brought her to her peak and slowly back down from her state of ecstasy.

"I love you Emma." Rachel mouthed the words over Emma's ear.

"I love you, too, Rachel" Emma turned to face her girl and kissed her softly on the lips.

The two girls stepped out of the tub and wrapped each other in freshly cleaned towels. Emma took Rachel's hand and led her to her bedroom. They sat on the edge of Emma's king sized bed with their fingers interlocked and their eyes fixed on each other. Emma reached her other hand to the top of Rachel's leg to trace her scars once more.

"Why do you do this, Rachel? Doesn't it hurt?"

"Yes, it does hurt. But that's the point. It takes away the other pain I'm feeling. I don't want my heart to hurt so I settle for my leg instead."

"Rachel, I hate seeing these scars run across your legs. Do you know why?"

"No, why?" Rachel watched Emma's fingers trace the new cuts that covered her perfectly toned thighs, small tears forming in the corners of each girl's eyes.

"I don't like seeing them because for each red line, there was pain behind it. You were hurting. Rachel, I've told you this before and I mean it when I say it, that you're perfect. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You're smart, you're caring, you're talented. You are a star, Rachel. You have so much potential to take your life where ever you want it to go. You're amazing. I hope you remember that when you start to feel like you're not."

Rachel looked down in shame. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Emma. I never wanted to upset you by what I do to my own body. It's just that I wanted the pain to go away. I hate the pain. But it didn't work. The only thing that's taken the pain away for real these past few days has been when I'm with you. When I'm talking to you my heart stops aching. When you smile at me I feel happy. Your laugh sends chills through my spine and I know that there are more emotions than just the bad ones. Emma, when you kissed me, when you touched me, I felt loved in more than just a parental way. I have never felt that before. Emma, I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you upset. I just want you. Please don't leave me; never leave me Emma." Rachel leaned in to kiss Emma on the lips but instead came in contact with her cheek.

"I will never leave you Rachel, I promise. I will always be there for you but, sweetie; I don't think we can do this. This isn't right. You're only sixteen. I'm a thirty year old woman. I'm old enough to be your mother! I'm your guidance counselor; I'm supposed to be guiding you to make the right decisions but instead I'm corrupting you. I'm tainting your mind with this idea that we could be together but we just can't. I love you Rachel but this just isn't right." Emma gazed into Rachel's dark brown, pleading eyes. Part of her wants to walk away. Part of her wants to send Rachel home. But an even bigger part of her wants to take the small, fragile girl up into her arms and hold her tight for the rest of forever. Emma suppresses all her inner urges and simply took her delicate hand into her own, holding it gently between the two of them.

"No. Please. You can't. I need you. What don't you understand about that? I love you so, so much and I know you feel the same way. Why can't we make this work? Love is love no matter what. You told me that. Why can't you accept that now?" Rachel was a cross between angry, heartbroken, and simply sad. Her eyes searched Emma's face for traces of the raw emotions Rachel was certain were there.

"I know what I told you and I meant it when I said that. But what we have is not right. Rachel, I love you. I would do anything for you. So, this is the biggest decision I will ever have to make in my life. Rach, honey, I am going to be there for you, no matter what." Emma took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. "I'm resigning from my position as a guidance counselor at William McKinley. I can't work there and be with you. I can't work in any school and be with a student. I'll get another job somewhere. I'll do anything to be with you." Emma squeezed Rachel's hand tighter as she told her the news. Tears fell from her eyes like rain from a storm cloud.

"You can't quit. I won't be responsible for you leaving your dream job. That's just not happening. I know you love me and would do anything for me but that's a two way street. I can't make you give up what you loved first for something new. Emma, I won't tell anybody about us. You can trust me on that. I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin what we could have. Please, don't quit your job for me. I need you to be there for me but in order to do that you need to be happy. I love you too much to let you do this."

"You make a compelling argument, even if you are sobbing like a child." The two girls giggled as Emma wiped the tears from Rachel's face with her towel. "I won't quit, but you have to promise me that you will never tell anybody about us."

"I promise. But can you promise me something too?"

"Sure, anything."

"Promise me I will get to kiss you every single day. I don't know if I can survive without you anymore."

Emma giggled causing Rachel's body to quiver against her own. She brought her lips down upon Rachel, leaving a short but tender kiss on her soft lips. "Of course, but we must keep this our little secret. I need something a little risky in my life." The two girls burst into a laughing fit which quickly turned into a tickle fight. Rachel pinned the red head beneath her, both towels slipping from their bodies.

"Emma Pillsbury, you are the biggest star in my life." With that, the diva planted a kiss on Emma's perfectly pink lips as she reached over to extinguish the light sitting on Emma's bedside table.

The End.

A/N: Well, that's it. I hope you liked my first fic ever! I may write more in the future but I doubt they will be rated M. I like reading the smut, I'm just terrible at writing it. (;