Chapter Six

Brittany didn't know what she was thinking as she went up to her bedroom with Puck, hand in hand. All she knew was that she was sad, and he had been there for her. She wanted to repay him, and feel happier, even if it were just for a little while. She pushed Puck down onto her bed and started kissing him. It wasn't long before she was unbuttoning his shirt (his jacket to his tux was in his car). Brittany had only gotten through two buttons before he was holding her hands in his, a little too tightly, and sliding out from beneath her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"What are we doing?"

"Well…I thought it was obvious. We were going to have sex."

"That's not what I meant! I meant why are we doing this? We both know it's wrong, we both know we wouldn't be doing it if Santana were alive, and we both know very well she would definitely kill us if we did. Think about it Brittany."

As tears started to flood into her eyes she let her hair fall down, like a curtain hiding her face from Puck. "I… I just wanted to…" she couldn't finish. What did she want? Her reasons were to pay back Puck, and to be happy. But what kind of reason are those? Besides she knew in her heart Puck was right, she did know it was wrong. How could she ever do this to her best friend?

"Brittany, think. Think about Santana up in heaven looking down at us while she's having lunch with Jesus. It's the day of her funeral; do you really think this is what she wants to happen?"

"No. And by the way, now she would be playing golf, Heaven isn't just about eating lunch."

The thought of Santana ever even attempting to play golf made Puck laugh. And once again he couldn't help but envy Brittany's simple mind.

"So, can it be agreed that we put this behind us?"

"Yeah, and I promise it won't happen again." She looked up; she wanted to promise Santana too. "Okay Santana? I promise, he's all yours, and I won't try stealing him again. And I really am sorry." Brittany spoke the words as if Santana were right in front of her. After all people in Heaven heard you even if you whispered, but they hear you better if you say it right to them.

After making amends with Santana, Brittany looked over at Puck, who was staring at her.

"What?"

"You just seem to keep amazing me every day. Artie was insane for calling you stupid, because you're not, and because he completely ruined things with you, and he doesn't know what he's missing out on." With that Puck hugged Brittany and left. Brittany was so confused, what had she done that was so amazing?

Later that night Puck was playing guitar, well trying to at least, and couldn't stop thinking about how he almost had sex with Brittany a mere two days after Santana was gone. Not to mention he hadn't broken it off with Lauren. It was then that he knew what he had to do right now. So he sent a text

Meet me at the park, we need to talk.

She would know what park he meant, it was the park they always met at. Puck decided to walk so he could practice what he was going to say until it sounded just right. 30 minutes later he was standing in front of her, all the feelings he had once felt when he looked at her now felt like a distant memory. He remembered wooing her, writing her songs, and treating her like a princess, but now he no longer felt why he ever would. Sure he still cared about her, but only as a friend, nothing else anymore.

"What took you so long? You told me to come here." Her eyes were staring at him with an emotion Puck couldn't quite figure out. It was kind of a mixture between anger, expectance, and sadness, but disbelief.

"Sorry, I just had to figure out what I was going to say."

"If you plan on breaking up with me just get it over with, I don't want to waste my time here with unnecessary small talk, and you trying to still be friends or whatever." Her voice was cold, with how he had been acting lately Puck should have figured she saw this coming. As he was trying to get back on track and remember what he was going to say Lauren's angered voice interrupted him. "Before I punch you in your snout box Puckerman, are you going to dump me or not?"

"Yeah, I just don't wa-"

"Ok then, we're through I don't need to stay any longer." She turned to leave.

"No! Lauren wait I'm not leaving it like this. Listen, let me say what I need to say then you can feel free to leave."

"I already know what you're going to say, Puckerman. You're going to say that you loved Santana, and her death is too much for you to handle and you can't handle having more on your plate. The 'more' being me, I get it. And I'm not going to make things even harder on you."

"That's not all, I want you to know I did love you too, and I still care about you. So if you need me I'll still be here."

"First of all, if you really did love me, you wouldn't be using past tense right now. Honestly I think you have to grow up and stop throwing around that you love this person, and you love that person. All of the Glee club does. And unlike you, I actually have feelings for you, and it's not just puppy love, it's real love. Glad to know the feelings aren't mutual." This time when she turned away Puck didn't try to stop her, for a few reasons. One, she was right, about all of it. Second, he could have sworn he saw tears filling into her eyes, and didn't want to humiliate her by making her cry in front of him. And third, he didn't want to sit there and lie to her, and tell her he loved her, when he now realized he probably didn't.

Actually now that he got to thinking, what was love? Did he even love Santana? Was it just puppy love, like how he felt about Lauren? No. He did love Santana, and that's why he didn't feel the same about Lauren as he used to, because he realized that. But if he loved her then why did he almost sleep with Brittany, Santana's best friend. Well they do say, 'You don't know what you have until its gone.' maybe that's what happened to him? He didn't know how much he cared about her until she was gone forever. He did stop himself from sleeping with Brittany, before he definitely wouldn't have, that has to mean something. Not to mention he has been massively depressed, but would he be just as depressed if say, Quinn died? He didn't know. He had a baby with her, so there had to be some feelings for her that he felt with no one else. But he didn't care about her the way he cared about Santana. This was all too confusing for him, he didn't know what to do or what to think, or what he even felt!

Okay, maybe I just have to stop thinking and get some sleep.

So he ran home and went to sleep, but he was far from expecting what he awoke from.

Please remember to review, I get kind of stuck not knowing where to go with things, or even knowing if I'm doing good, so reviews are greatly appreciated. :]