ZADR One Shot

(Dib's point of view)
"Am I the only one here who sees the alien sitting in class?" I say to my fellow students. They all look around confused and dumbstruck, somehow making monkey noises as they do so. "There." I point to Zim, the new student or as I should say, alien of the class. Two people beside me look over at him and then back at their desks. "Right there!" I say pointing again. Everyone looks at him. "See? That is no kid, he's an alien! This is one of the monsters I've been telling you about!" I tell them.
"Oh, not this again, you're crazy." Zita says to me. She always says that, but I'm not crazy, I see through Zim's lame disguise.
"Insolent fool boy...it's a skin condition." Zim shouts at me. I look at him suspiciously. "Oh yeah, where are your ears? Is that part of your 'skin condition' Zim, no ears?" I ask him challengingly. He looks down at his desk and stares at his hands.
"Yes..." he says quietly.
"Gee Dib, just 'cause someone looks different, you're making fun of them? I suppose Old kids' an alien too, huh?" a kid whose name I can never remember tells me. Old kid waves at me saying hi.
"Whatever..." Zita says. is still in whatever trance she set herself in since after she introduced Zim to the class. I swear this is the easiest class possible considering she almost never assigns us work. I've been in her class long enough to know that on Tuesdays she is laid back and on Thursdays she is super cranky. I'll never know what crawled up her ass and died, but whatever it was, it sure as hell didn't like her. I walk up to the chalk board and draw a human, then a picture of Zim. I point to the human. "This is a human, and this is Zim, see the difference?" I ask my classmates. They all look at me as if I'm Monday's lunch. (moldy carrots and bean burritos)
"Seriously Dib, no one cares...you do this almost every week." says Zita.
"Yeah, I remember that one time..." Zim says. "What? You just got here!" I yell walking over to his desk. This is unbelievable...not even twenty minutes, and he's already pretending he knows everything!
"Doom, doom, doom...go now." says as the bell rings. Everyone starts running out of the building to go home, some climb out the windows in order to not be seen by bullies, whereas others just walk out the front doors. I always go out the front, because I'm normal like everyone else...unlike Zim. Speak of the devil here he comes now. He walks past me in the hall and goes out the front doors. I have an idea...I'll use the cuffs I ordered to bring him down! I follow him outside. "Everyone else might fall for your disguise, but not me Zim. You think you can fool us?"
"Yes actually, it's very easy..." he says. I slide on the stone hand railing and jump in front of him. I take out the cuffs and point them at him, hoping he'll get the message.
"Ooh, shiny..." Zim says in interest.
"These are cuffs I ordered from Crop Circles Magazine, they're made to render any extraterrestrial life form unconcious..." I tell him...maybe he'll just give up and see that I'm too smart for him.
"How do you know those even work if you've never caught an alien before?" he asks me. I think for a second...I HAVE never found an alien before, but... "I'm about to find out!" I say before going to tackle him. He dodges my attack and makes a run for it. Oh no he doesn't! I chase him past several parked cars and kids walking home. I lunge forward to cuff him, but he jumps through an open car window and keeps running. He's fast, but not fast enough to get away from me! He leaps up onto the hood of a car and goes from the top of one car to the next until he gets on top of an ice cream truck. A bus pulls up next to the truck and he jumps on top of it. I follow him, making sure to be careful and not fall off the vehicle tops, but almost slip several times before finally making it to the bus he's standing on. good thing I'm not scared of heights. He stands as far away from me as he can, but also far enough away from the edge of the bus' roof top. "Give up Zim! You have nowhere to go!" I say as I walk towards him. I can see him looking for a way to escape, he's nowhere near clever enough to out run me! Suddenly the bus starts moving and almost breaks my balance, but I regain it quickly. The bus rounds a corner and Zim flies off the back of it only to land on the top of a fence.
"See ya DIB!" he shouts over the bus' engine. A dog jumps up and snags him by the arm, pulling him to the ground. One of his boots come off and drape over the fence's edge. I jump off the bus and run to the fence, where I climb up to the top and kick the boot to the sidewalk. I scan the bushes looking for the pathetic alien, but can't see anything in the thick under brush the dog dragged him into. All of the sudden I'm pushed into the bushes where I'm attacked by the dog. It bites and tears my coat...damn it, I like this coat! I hit the dog on it's nose and it immediately lets go and runs off. I crawl out of the bushes and walk through a gap in the fence...wait! I could've just walked though the fence! There's a smoke trail leading down the street, I wave some of it off and follow it's path. The smoke starts to dissappear and I quicken my pace. Aha! His house is straight ahead. I can see the abnormal building he lives in, because no one in the city would EVER paint their house green and purple...or have their house all lopsided. I stride over to his walk way and make my way through the clearing smoke. He looks at me in...fear? I can't tell, maybe it's shock. I hope it's fear, 'cause if he doesn't fear me now, I'll make sure he does later!
"Gir, get in the house!" he says, hurrying a little green dog into the building. I charge at him, but I know he'll make it inside before I get to him. The door slams in my face and I resort to pounding my fists on it's wooden surface. A mens restroom sign rattles against the door with each hit...I wonder why he has a mens sign on his door, maybe he doesn't know what a normal house's door looks like? "You can't hide forever Zim, and if you can, I'll wait forever!" I yell, hoping he'll hear me. "I've been preparing for this moment all my life-" A weird pinkish ray zaps my cuffs and they dissappear into thin air. I stare in disbelief at my empty hand then at the garden gnome that shot the ray. Crap, I hadn't been expecting that. "Okay, you win this round, I'm gonna go home now and prepare some more..." I say in defeat. I turn away from his door and start walking home. Well, that sucked...I guess I'll have to be on my toes for a while and keep an eye on him. The fate of the planet depends on me now, I won't let Zim have control of it even if it means I'll die saving it! I continue making my way home and eventually I am greeted with a face full of pudding when I open the door. Gaz...I really hate her sometimes, but she's my little sister and I can't do anything about her, or else dad will have my head. "Thanks GAZ..." I say annoyed. I walk to the kitchen and wipe the chocolate substance off my face. This is what she does when I get home from school late. I trudge upstairs to my room where I flop onto my bed. I'm exhausted and now I need a new trench coat thanks to Zim. Today was crazy, I mean it's bad enough I was almost hit by several cars...and my lunch crawled off it's tray to eat some kid's notebook, which makes me question sloppy joe day, but Zim has finally come to my planet! I've been waiting for an alien to come to Earth so I can prove they exist, and what do you know, the day I decide maybe I really am crazy, an alien shows up in my life! It's even crazier that he lives a block away from me too. Wait, do I always talk to myself like this?
"Yes...now shut up, your words are making my head hurt." says Gaz as she passes my doorway. I hate forgetting to close my door, 'cause then everyone in the house can hear my rambling, and when I say everyone in the house I generally mean Gaz. I get up and close the door, locking it's dead bolt so Gaz can't bother me. Okay, now where did I put that...aha! My note book on paranormal studies lays flat on my desk top, covered in Doritos and partially sprinkled in dust from the lack of using it. Time to bring it out again, and start filling it with information I can gather on Zim! I take a pencil out of my desk drawer and begin writing down what I already know about him. Let's see...he has green skin, no ears, and lives in a house-no scratch that, base only a block away...is there anything else? Oh! he wears a dress...maybe Zim is a girl? Hmmm, another thing on my list to learn about him/her. If Zim's male, then he either has bad taste in clothing or he's a homosexual. If Zim's female, then she'll most likely lay eggs in my chest if she abducts me...or she might dissect me for research and present her findings to her leaders. Either way, he or she will try to kill me if I'm not careful. My eyes become heavy and I struggle to stay awake, but I give in to the need for sleep...I haven't had a proper amount of sleep in three days, and over all I probably have about seven hours of sleep out of the entire week. I trudge over to my bed and crawl into the unmade sheets. I needed this so much, I figured I'd get some rest so I wouldn't pass out in the middle of class...The last time I didn't get enough sleep and passed out, I woke up tied half naked to the flag pole, with "loser" spray painted on my chest, and got detention for two weeks because of it. It isn't my fault the skool's principal is an idiot and says I did it for attention, no, I was dragged off by some kids who wanted to embarrass me in front of the whole skool! I hate my life so much, I wish I had a smaller head and I didn't talk to my self all the time...at least not out loud anyways! No one ever listens to me, and no one ever will, I'm just...alone. I take my glasses off and set them on my bed side table, then I fall into the dark abbyss of sleep I'd been missing for the past half week.

-
1:37 AM -

Some kind of mechanical noise rouses me from my sleep. I sit up quickly and reach for my glasses, they're gone. I panic and feel around on the floor next to my bed. Maybe I accidentally knocked them off the table? My blurred vision can only allow me to see a fuzzy image of my moon lit room. A small chuckle from my left makes me panic even more. "W-who's there?" I say shakily looking in the direction of where I heard the laugh. I can hear someone's foot steps almost silently padding accross the carpet. I try hard to make out the person's face, but I can only see a blurred outline. A second later the person is sitting on the edge of my bed, appearing to be looking at something in their hands. They look up at me and chuckle again.
"You know, I really don't see the point in wearing these glass thingies on your face, it just makes everything harder to see. How can you see anything with these Dib-thing?" asks the person. Wait, I know that voice, it's..."Zim!" I exclaim attempting to jump away from the alien. He's sitting on my legs, preventing me from moving, all I can do is sit there. "G-give me back my glasses Zim!" I say, demandingly holding out my hand. The alien just stares at me and chuckles once again. "No...besides, they don't seem like they'd do you any good if you can't see with them..." he said putting the glasses on himself, although failing due to the fact he had no ears or nose to hold them up. "I can't see WITHOUT them if you don't give them back!" I explain, still holding out my hand. Zim sighs and deposits the glasses in to my hand. I put them on and blink a few times to adjust to the lenses again. I can see zim's huge magenta eyes glaring at me, his antennae flat against his head.
"I don't see why you humans are so nit picky, it's just annoying..." he says, continuing to bore imaginary holes in my head with his stare. "What do you want Zim?" I ask tiredly.
"I wanted to ask you about something..." he said looking out the window he'd apparently used to get in my room. Why would he want information from me when I could easily capture him right now? Was it some kind of trick? "Okay...what do you want to know?" I ask. This should be interesting. He seemed a little frazzled and he wouldn't look me in the eye. "Um...well, I was wondering...I wanted to know what this thing is you earthlings do...called a kiss?" he replied, tugging on his shirt. The alien figited with a piece of string on my comforter and still avoided any eye contact. "Why do you want to know a kiss is? What use is it to you?" I ask. "Um...I uh...I was looking up information on your species and Gir pulled me away from it to watch a movie with him. There was a scene where the humans put their lips togehter and I was curious about the gesture, so I looked it up on my computer...it said it was called a kiss. I was wondering if maybe you could tell me more about it, since no matter how much I research it I can never completely understand how it works. Why do you humans "kiss"?" Zim asked me, shyly looking up. I can feel my cheeks heat up instantly. "Well, the reason why humans kiss, is to show affection or love-" I explain before he cuts me off.
"What's love?" he asks me in interest. I think for a second to find a good way to tell him. "Uh...it's kind of hard to explain it, unless you've been in love. Haven't you ever felt weird towards any girls on your planet?" I ask him, hoping he understood what I was talking about. He looks up in thought for a few seconds and shakes his head. "You've never felt...odd in any way, you know, not like usual?"
"Nope." he says, looking at me in a curious fashion. I take a second to think about the situation. "...uh..." I come up short on an explanation. I myself have never been in love, so of course I don't know how to really tell Zim what it is. "There's really no one way to explain it Zim, you're probably better off asking someone who knows more about that subject." I tell him. He stares at me dumbfounded. "What?" I say in frustration.
"You're the only person I can ask about this Dib-thing, no one else I've talked to will answer my questions...I can't believe I'm saying this, but Please Dib, at least tell me more about kissing, I demand to know more!" Zim replies, shaking his fist in front of my face. my cheeks go back to their burning state from earlier, but this time I know he can see it.
"What is the matter with you Dib-worm? Why is your face red?" the alien asks me in confusion. I already know my face was getting redder at the question. "Um...it's called blushing Zim. Humans blush when they're embarrassed or uncomfortable. It's when blood rushes to our cheeks. If a person is shocked by something and they are already blushing, usually they will have a nose bleed. That is caused when too much blood rushes to a person's face..." I explain quickly. Zim tilts his head in fascination and pokes my left cheek with his finger.
"Your species is very strange, what use is it to expel blood from your nose?" he asks me, continuing to poke at my cheek. I push his hand down from my face and lean back against my headboard. "There is no use to it, it just shows the expression of being extremely surprised." I say tiredly.
"So, the reason you were blushing is because you were embarrassed? About what?" he asks with interest. I stare down at my hands for a second, then look up at him. "Because, I was a little embarrassed when you asked me about kissing. It's not something I'd normally talk about, so...yeah..." I explain.
"Well, there's just one more thing I wanted to ask you about "kissing"...can you show me how it works?" the alien whispers, clenching the sheets. His face turns dark blue...wait a minute, is he BLUSHING! I do a double take and stare at him, my own cheeks heating up as well. He IS blushing! My blood turned to ice, remembering his question. "Uh...Zim, I...are you asking me to...k-kiss you?" I say shakily. Holy mother of god! If that's seriously what he's asking, then I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. If I tell him no, he'll probably threaten to kill me...but if I say yes, I'll be kissing my mortal enemy! Wait, I still don't even know if Zim's a boy or a girl either...if Zim's a girl it won't be so bad,but if Zim's a boy...that'll classify me as both gay and a xenophile! I turn to Zim waiting for the alien's answer. Zim looks at me in shock, face an even darker blue than before.
"I-i-if that's t-the way you want to p-put it...y-yes..." Zim answers shyly, hiding his face behind his hands. I look at his utterly failed attempt in hiding his face. He's even more freaked out over this than I am! Is that a bad thing? I think so...I still have to know. "Zim, are you a boy or a girl?" I ask, probably sounding pathetic at the moment.
"A b-boy..." he stutters, looking up at me. Well shit...so much for hoping he was a girl! "Uh...If you promise not to tell anyone about this...I'll...k-kiss you." I say, full on embarrassment showing on my face. My dignity may as well have been blown out my ass after saying that. Zim uncovers his face and stares at me, disbelief evident in his expression.
"If you think I would tell anyone you kissed me, you're an idiot. I have a reputation to uphold. Besides that, Gir would never let me hear the end of it if he heard about our kiss from one of your classmates..." he hissed. "Okay then...so, I guess that means I don't have to worry about you telling anyone..." I say, scratching the back of my head nervously. "You have to also make a promise, you must promise not to try to prove I'm an alien for the next week...do we have a deal?" he asked holding out his hand. "Yes..." I reply shaking it in agreement. "Okay...so um, there are different types of kisses. There's the tender kiss, the hot passionate kiss, and the French kiss to name a few." I explain. "Which one do you want me to show you?"
"Uh...what's the French one?" he asks, antennae perking up in fascination. I shudder...why did he have to pick THAT one? "A French kiss is when you stick your tongue in the other person's mouth, it's supposed to be very sensual..." I reply, again scratching the back of my head nervously. The alien looks at me as if I just grew another head.
"It sounds disgusting,but if that's really what you Earth-monkeys do, then show me..." he says leaning closer. I blush again and sit up;scooting over the covers. We both look at each other and can see the others' blush darkening. I put my hand on the side of his face and lean my head closer to his. Well...here goes my dignity. I can feel my heart jump to my throat as I lightly brush my lips on his. my stomach doing multiple flips, feels like a swarm of butterflies are flying around in there. he jumps a little at the contact, but stays still afterwards. I press harder against him and hesitantly lick at his bottom lip. He opens his mouth slowly to allow me entrance, then I slip my tongue in. The taste of his mouth is slightly sweet, like chocolate or toffee, maybe a hint of caramel. I think he may have snacked on something before he came asking for information, possibly a candybar. Suddenly his tongue caresses mine, it's slick and round structure finally taking part in the action I was performing. I unconsciously slide my hand to the back of his head to further deepen the kiss. His tongue wraps around mine, tickling the roof of my mouth. I let out a barely audible moan as he runs his claw-like fingers up my chest and collarbone. He snakes his arms around my neck. Our lips only half part for second to get some air and then rejoin. I feel as if my senses are on fire, each little touch and caress ten fold of what it would normally be. Zim pushes my tongue back into my mouth and licks each of my teeth as if they were an ice cream bar or a sucker. My fingers wrap themselves around one of his antennae, excliciting a low moan from the alien. I pull our bodies closer, our chests now brushing every so often. I know this is sick and wrong, but...it feels so, dare I say it...right. Normally I would be slamming my head into a brick wall for even thinking of doing this with Zim, but here I am making out with my arch nemisis! My MALE arch nemisis at that...I've officially ruined my every last sense of morality and have lost my dignity probably twice over. Now I'm doing the last thing I thought I'd ever do in my life. Zim pulls away, arms still draped around my neck, and that dark blue blush on his face. Both of us are panting heavily. "So, how do you feel?" I ask him. He puts his hands on his cheeks.
"Well, my face is warm..." He replies, removing his hands and putting them back around my neck. "But other than that, my squeedly spooch tickles...and I taste chocolate." Chocolate? Oh right, The pudding Gaz threw in my face! I must have gotten some in my mouth when I was hit. That would explain it.
"How do YOU feel Dib-thing?" Zim asks me. He was pretty honest about how HE felt, so I may as well be too. "Uh...I feel like my stomach is doing flips...my heart is beating really fast..." I say, putting his hand on my chest for him to feel. "I also tasted some chocolate on you too, but I'm guessing you ate a candybar on the way over." He nods his head in agreement. "I'm not going to lie, but...I-I think I liked it..." Zim looks at me in silence and leans his forehead against mine.
"Me too Dib-worm..." he says. He grabs my wrist and slides his hand to my palm, entwining our fingers. "In fact...I'd like you to show me a tender kiss..." I smile gladly, tiliting my face up. If Zim had a nose, mine would be rubbing against his. I press my lips against his once again,a light spark traveling through my body from the contact. I pull away after a few seconds and lay down. Zim stares at me, a longing look in his eyes. I pull back the sheets and gesture for him to get in. He flashes a smile and lays down next to me. I hook my arms around his waist and lightly kiss his neck. "Zim?" I whisper.
"Yes Dib-thing?" he says. "Think I love you..." I reply.
"I think I love you too Dib...goodnight."
-

6:00 AM

"What the fuck?" Gaz screams. I sit up quickly. Oh shit...