Amber's A/N: Umm... hi. I'm Noko's grammar Naz- I mean, her editor. Yup. I kind of... went through this and omitted the most glaring errors … If I missed any, I apologize, and I'd also like to apologize for the absolute crack-i-ness of this fic. I do not sponsor it in any way. :U

A/N Me(NOKOLI): OKAY. SO THIS IS LIKE A RANDOM AND TOTAL CRACKFIC. AND AU. :D Yeerks are sent out of the hosts by someone 'romantically' kissing them. Most people think their slugs, and automatically step on them. ;D yeah... um.. also, I've only read the 1st and 2nd book. Amber is helping me with the rest :D (TO AMBER: YES. You sponseredd itttt 3 she's mah grammarna―editor xD)

Warnings!: AU, CRACKFIC, I DON'T HAVE THE BEST GRAMMAR, .

Summary: When Jake sees a couple on the sidewalk kiss, he spies the ugly Yeerk pop out of the Controller's head. He watches as, in a frenzy, the 'slug' is squashed under foot. He watches it die. And it gives him an idea on how to save his brother...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own this, neither does Amber. Wish I did t-shot'ded-

((...)) thought-speak :D

–

"Your mom!" It was Marco, replying to one of Jake's earlier comments. Apparently he had ran out of witty comebacks. Jake sighed and facepalm'd. Nearby, Rachel giggled a little, and Cassie just blinked. Tobias was perched comfortably on Cassie's shoulder.

Antics aside, Jake pressed on. "Okay, guys! I think I have an idea on how to save my brother," And so, the ever-leader Jake explained what he had seen with the couple and the Yeerk exiting its host's body. And sure enough, they had a Controller readily available to test Jake's hypothesis on.

And so he asked if someone would kiss his brother for him. Everyone backed out.

"No way, he's my cousin!" Rachel turned away.

"No thanks..." Cassie smiled apologetically.

"No way, dude! I'm not gay!" Marco crossed his arms.

((...)) Tobias was silent.

Jake gave a 'hmp' of annoyance. "W-why not?" Somewhere inside himself he felt his own desire to volunteer. But that was silly of him... heh... this was his brother, and incest is not legal..!

They all just stared at him knowingly.

"Why don't you ask your mom if we all can spend the night? If we get caught, we can just say that we were playing truth or dare. When and if the Yeerk pops out, we can... dispose of it." Cassie gave this well thought out idea.

"Fine."

-SCENECHANGE-

That night, they were all crowded into a unused big room of Jake's house. They all lazed around on the couches.

"I think it's time, young apprentice." Marco cleared his throat, then spoke loudly. "Jake, truth or dare!" He pointed to Jake, who blinked before replying.

"D-dare..."

"I dare you to... kiss your brother!" The jokester grinned, and they all got up, for it was their queue. Except for Rachel. She stayed there. Because she had to or something, I don't know.

"You guys go on ahead, I'll stay here holding the fort."

-SCENECHANGE3825798134-

Marco and Cassie were hidden in the corner of the hall closest to Tom's door, Marco a little closer for when they would kill the Yeerk.

Jake was just about to knock onto the door when it opened. Tom looked surprised. "Hey, Jake. What are you doing here? I was just ab-" The elder brother was silenced as the younger got up on his tippy-toes and kissed him on the lips, blushing madly. Tom was still for a second, before collapsing onto the ground as the Yeerk was forcefully pushed out of his head.

Jake screamed silently, then started stomping on it. "SLUG! Ewwwwww..." The dark-haired boy promptly got a hold of himself as the Yeerk looked positively squished and dead. "Umm...ummm.."

Tom got up, albeit a little shakily from not being in control of his body for so long, and spoke. "J-Jake...missed y-youu...!" He grabbed his little brother, pulling him into a hug. Jake was still blushing.

Cassie took out a camera from hammer-space and took pictures. Marco was silently happy; they had a way to get rid of the Yeerks! In the most completely random and convenient way possible.

The elder-brother was ignoring the fact that his brother had kissed him, but he had secretly enjoyed it. Jake enjoyed it too, secretly. But no one was fooled.

And poor Tobias was trapped outside the house, fluttering weakly at the the door. Nobody remembered to open the door for him and hawks can't use doorknobs. Oops. Poor Tobias.

Theeeee endddddddd. :3