{Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own the Nostalgia Critic, The Angry Video Game Nerd, or Captain S, nor do I own the game Space Invaders. I lack the knowledge on if Space Invaders is even in Digital Press Video Games, which I do not own either. This is entirely based off The Battle of Epic Proportions video. Let's just cut to the chase.}
My day was simply… Weird… To explain it is to explain how it all began. Thankfully, we do not need to go far back to the beginning to start this story. We just need to start from when I arrived at the Digital Press arcade. As I entered, there were tons of people crowding around someone. I took a peak at who this guy was. He was nothing. He looked like one of those nerdy kids I would see in those teenage high school movies. The nerdy kid that would have asthma and be incredibly awkward to be around. In those movies, the nerds would always get beaten, wedgied, or otherwise bullied. Here, however, it is the opposite. Now it is as if he was the captain of the football team. People wanted him to autograph things. It was weird. I ignored it and went to one of the arcade machines, Space Invaders, and began playing it. Most people, if not all, seemed to be focused on the nerd and not on the games. It did not matter, as that means more play time for me.
After thirty minutes, I ran out of quarters playing the game. I was about to head home when all of a sudden someone entered the room. The person had a black hat on with a black business suit, white undershirt, and red tie. He had a goatee and glasses. As he entered, he screamed out, "NEEERRRDDD!" Finally, someone who wanted to put the nerd headfirst into the toilet. Everyone looked at him oddly though. The man stepped forward towards the nerd.
"What's going on?" I asked a lady.
"They're going to fight!" She said in excitement. Fight? This definitely convinced me that I was watching something out of a High School movie. I almost wanted to chant "Swirl-lee! Swirl-lee!" but then the nerd spoke.
"So Critic, how dare you come here?" He said. Huh? He did not look like Jay Sherman to me. The "critic" continued to call out the nerd. And everyone laughed. I chuckled along with them. Finally, the critic began to say more than just "NEEERRRDDD!"
"Have you accepted my challenge to review a horrible nostalgic movie?"
"Yes, Nostalgia Critic, I do accept your challenge, but you must suffer at a bad game!" The nerd replied. I was a bit confused at what they were talking about. Did I sleep under a rock for a year and now all of a sudden, the exchange of lunch money was not done through fists but through sitting through bad things? Suddenly, someone stepped in. The man was blonde with a blue vest with an S on it and a yellow undershirt. I had to do a double take at this guy. This guy was exactly like Captain N, but was rooting for Sega. Now I know without a doubt that I had not walked into a High School movie. I walked into a bizarre universe where everything is turned on its head. Nerds were popular, Jay Sherman sported a goatee, and there was a Captain S instead of a Captain N. This was madness.
"I thought this was all online!" Captain S said. That explained everything. See, I was not blessed with internet access in my entire life. No, I was not Amish; I just could not afford internet for a very long time, ever since I was a kid and one day when I finally could, I found out how well adjusted I was without it, so I didn't use the internet ever since. This explained it. I was not in a parallel world; I was just brought in a middle of a fight that started on the internet.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, S!" The Critic yelled at Captain S. This was my cue to leave. As I turned around, The Nerd mentioned something about Captain S and him saving Christmas and something about the Critic being on YouTube, but I did not pay attention a lot. Just as I opened the door, I turned around to see the Nerd throw a pen at the Critic with everyone going "OOOOOOOH!"
"You know what, Nerd? Let's settle this! Right here! Right now!" The Critic said. I wanted to see this fight happen.
"In the ring. But you know what? My ring's outside." The Nerd said. With that, the Critic agreed with the Nerd and he and Captain S moved towards the door. That I was blocking.
"Beat it, kid!" The Critic told me, shoving me back while I was pushed by dozens upon dozens of people who wish to see the fight. Soon, we were circled around them as they began their fight. If the "I thought this was all online" thing did not convince me, this "fight" did. They all fake fought. It was pro wrestling all over again. Nothing but a Soap Opera with punching and hitting to cover that fact up. I was not satisfied. Where was the blood? Where were the tears? Where was the teacher to intervene this and take them all to the Principal's office?
"Screw this." I said, spotting my car parked right next to the "fighting" men. I got my key and unlocked my car. By the time I started the car, I saw the trio finishing their fight. I shook my head and drove off. And that was one of the weirdest days of my life. My day was simply… Weird…