Chapter Eighteen: "And we thought you were fucking slow last time, bitch."

"Yeah... sorry about that..."

"Fucking bitch."

"THE CLIFFHANGER. I ENDED IT. AND LIETPOL YOU'RE SO WELCOME."

Toris took a sharp intake, and Feliks was internally cringing. Because what the fuck was he thinking?! To take love advice from awkward as fuck Berwald the awkward Swede was the totally stupidest thing he could have ever done ever. He was such a stupid bitch.

Toris tightened his arms around Feliks and sighed.

"Feliks?"

"…Yeah?" Feliks refused to meet his eyes.

"We need to talk."

God. Fucking. Damn it.

Berwald caught Tino's smaller hand in his as they walked through campus.

"Why did you ask me about your weight." Berwald stated.

Tino cocked his head and shook it slightly. He could never tell when Berwald was asking a question or just… restating the question in a weird way? It was just bizarre. Tino had other friends from Sweden, and they didn't have such… eccentric mannerisms?

"It's… it's just that I was feeling a bit fat because my fucking pants don't fit." Tino responded. "I swear I haven't been eating that much gelato…"

Berwald narrowed his eyes, which was scary as fuck. Tino shuddered.

"You aren't fat."

Tino rolled his eyes. "You've not even seen my—"

"I have. That one time."

"For fuck's sake, can we forget about that one time when I've only known you for like, less than a month?!"

"No. You're perfectly lovely."

"Well, thanks. But I don't want to buy new pants, so I probably need to exercise or something."

"Mmm."

"I don't know, I already lift weights and maybe I should toss some cardio into the mix? Feliks would probably want me to do fucking yoga or something."

"You'd look good in yoga pants."

"...Berwald, please stop imagining things… your face looks like you want to, um, like you want to suck souls out of harmless woodland animals…"

Berwald blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah…"

"Mm."

"I know you don't want to suck their souls out, so don't look at them like that?"

"Maybe I do."

"Maybe you do, what?"

"Suck out their souls."

"Berwald, you are fucking creepy sometimes. I know that was supposed to be a joke, but shit."

"I like woodland creatures."

"Okay, great."

"They can keep their souls."

"Okay, great."

Toris gently guided Feliks to his crappy twin bed.

"Just, just sit down for a minute, okay?"

Feliks nodded mutely. Toris shut his dorm door and locked it, and also grabbed two beers from Berwald's mini fridge. He plucked off the tops and walked over, passing one to Feliks and sitting across from his childhood friend on Berwald's crappy bed.

They sat in silence for a few awkward minutes, sipping their beers and contemplating the shitty floor pattern their dormitories decided to pay many thousands for. Finally, Feliks huffed a sigh.

"Toris—" "Feliks—"

They both stopped short, making eye contact that was just terrifying and Feliks thought his heart was going to explode from just the sheer awkwardness of it all.

"It's totally okay, Toris. I know you don't feel that way abou—"

"Shut up!" Feliks blinked, and looked at Toris in surprised. Toris seemed surprised at his tone, too.

"I—I didn't mean to shout." He murmured. "I, just, please let me get my part out before you start, okay? I have more trouble than you putting the pieces of my thoughts together."

"It's okay," Feliks responded just as quietly, "but I can't take just sitting here in silence, Tor. It's totally weirding me out."

"Well my thoughts are weirding me out!" Toris exclaimed, pressing the heels of his hands into his forehead. "Because Feliks, I get so jealous."

"What?"

"You didn't call me and you know you're supposed to…!"

"I'm not supposed to! There's not a rule! There's not a… a thing where I'm supposed to just give in and do what you want just because you want it!"

"I know!" Toris sighed. "I know, Feliks. I just, I can't… I can't watch you go off with other people, other guys! I just can't stand to see it."

Feliks gritted his teeth. "You are my best friend but you don't have the right to say I can't go off with people and you have totally no right to manipulate me in any-!"

"I love you."

"What the fuck did I just-!"

"I SAID I LOVE YOU, TOO!" Toris dropped his hands and gripped the crappy bed frame. "Okay?! But's it's weird, Feliks! This… this gay thing…!"

"Then why were you kissing that Russian dude!"

"You saw that?"

"Totally did! You said 'Never, sorry, Feliks but I just don't like boys' and now you're telling me that 'oh, you like love me so much' and it's probably in a friend way—"

"It's not in a friend way. Fuck." Toris blushed, bringing his hands back to his face to cover his embarrassment.

"Toris!" Feliks' face was already flushed with anger, but darkened with Toris' use of profanity. "You like never cuss!"

"I know, Feliks. But you… you're just…" He peeked between his hands. "Do you even see what you're wearing?"

Feliks looked at his outfit. "Of course! It's totally super cute—"

"I know."

Feliks' mouth was left hanging open. "W-what?"

"Stuttering, huh?" Toris smiled slightly. "Feliks, I'm not blind. It's just, I… you… we've known each other forever and I'm not okay with the whole gay thing and you are very obvious and I… I am just not quite, you know, there?"

"Toris, w-what are you…?"

"I do love you. You're my best friend, Feliks." Toris dropped his hands once more to push up from Berwald's shitty bed. He turned and dropped next to Feliks. "I've told you no before, and that's because you're not an experiment."

Feliks blinked incredulously as he watched Toris's hand slowly slid up his thigh. "You've got to be totally fucking with me."

And Toris leaned over and bit Feliks' ear. "H-holy shit, Tor!"

"I'd like to be fucking with you." Toris mused.

"Who says stuff like that? Omigod!" Feliks batted Toris away. "I don't want to be like testing grounds!"

"Exactly." Toris bit his lip. "I really do already love you as a friend and I've never wanted to hurt that or you and I'm sorry about the Russian, I'd had a lot to drink which isn't an excuse and I pushed you away because I've never wanted you to get your hopes up because I'm not entirely sure about the gay thing but the more I think about you and the more I examine my head I'm thinking the bisexual thing is a thing because you're just the hottest thing and when you wear those socks sometimes I just want to take you on the spot and I really just want to touch you right now."

"Omigod." Feliks hyperventilated. "Omigod. Is this real life?"

"I hope so." Toris shuddered. "Because I don't think I can tell you all that again."

"I like really, really don't mind if you touch me." Feliks said. "But I get to touch you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"…We're on my bed."

Feliks grinned. "We totally are."

"A-Are… are you sure about this?"

"Oh, Tor. Totally."

Berwald and Tino had a nice walk, and ended up in front of Berwald's dormitory.

"Want a beer?" Berwald asked.

"Berwald, it's like 5:30 on a Tuesday!"

"So?"

"… Yeah, I want a beer."

So Berwald opened his dormitory door and blinked and then abruptly shut the door.

Tino's mouth was hanging open. He up looked at Berwald's shocked face.

"T-They're…!" Tino stuttered. He pointed at the door. "They're!"

"They are having intercourse." Berwald responded promptly. "Do you have beer in your dorm?"

"Vodka."

"That will work, too."

"No, I'm saying I need vodka."

Sorry the length of time. No excuse, just fell out of touch with the story. I'm sure the tone feels like it's changed, but I'm going to try to wrap up this story soon.