Spoilers for 2x19

"Kurt Hummel!"

Her jaw tightened while her skin shot up in flames, as she tried to appear congratulatory for her friend on that suddenly small stage. The lights that shined upon all the candidates now felt like they were burning her and blinding her gaze and the only spot where there was relief was to watch that gorgeous crown rest upon Kurt's hair. She could see behind him; the gaping looks of the other students who should've been watching him but instead, were gauging her reaction. Their jaws had fallen and some watched with mirth sparking in their eyes, a smirk playing on their lips as if they couldn't wait to see the ex-Cheerio finally "get what was coming to her". As if she deserved to lose the one thing she wanted after losing so much else.

She straightened up and mindlessly fixed her hair to appear nonchalant on the entire ordeal but in the process, her gaze slid over to Rachel. Her big brown doe eyes were looking at Quinn with something liken to genuine concern. She had that look that mirrored her expression after Finn had found out that Puck was actually the father—hesitant, cautious, with a flickering of care as if she were unsure of how Quinn would react.

Why did she care? Why did she continue to care? Glee club is supposed to be a place where everyone gets along and cares for one another but she is the one that gets attacked the most emotionally and verbally in that "safe haven". Yet, she continues to go out of her way for the same people who treat her so unfairly.

With a huff, she looked away from those caring chocolate eyes that seemed to be pleading to Quinn to get off the stage because she knew how the blonde was feeling. A glance towards Kurt showed that he was jubilant and not unhappy in the least that his King was Karofsky. He smiled, laying a hand on the jock's arm in the smallest form of congratulations before turning to Blaine and wrapping his arms around him. The Warbler's grin stood out brightly even compared to the lights that continued to shine down on the stage as he rubbed his boyfriend's back, whispering excited things into his ear.

Although she was happy for him, that was supposed to be Finn and her. Figgins was going to say her name and she was going to smile before receiving the crown on her head. She was going to make sure it was in place even after Figgins securely put it there. Finn, with the bright lights dancing off his crown, would clumsily stroll over with his goofy grin and hug her, lifting her off the ground and spin her around because finally, she got the one thing she wanted.

But was Finn here? No.

He had gotten kicked out because he and Jesse were fighting over Rachel. Her head jerked back and she looked at the brunette again, who was clapping and talking quietly with Sam, both of them looking at the King and Queen. Even though Sam wasn't hers anymore and they were strictly friends, she felt a pang of possessiveness strike in her chest. Why is it that Rachel had to go after every single guy she liked?

As she continued to stare at Rachel, she could feel the anger rising and bubbling in her chest. Quinn was pretty and kind, right? She had helped Sam and even risked more rumors that she was a cheater but kept his secret because that's what friends do. Also, it sure as hell was a little awkward when she was there with him after their messy breakup but Stacey really liked her. She kind of reminded Quinn of what Beth would possibly look like in a couple years. She's known all along that Brittany and Santana have a thing but she kept that a secret and even offered advice and comfort to Brittany whenever Santana gave her another whiplash due to her sudden mood swings. She's been fine with Kurt and even friends at certain points although it's been smashed into her skull countless times from her father that homosexuality is wrong and they should be converted. She's never really believed in that but still, the notion has been placed in her brain forever and some Christians would harass Kurt to try to change him but has she? No. No, she hasn't.

Rachel sent Sunshine to a crack house, for Christ's sake. She almost cost Mr. Schue his job with that "Push It" performance. She has tried to steal Finn away from Quinn twice now while she sat back and let them enjoy their time while they were together. Why, oh why do all of these boys pick her instead of Quinn?

Why is she never good enough? Her father expected so much of her and praised her, but his tone left a little more room for improvement. All of that love and nearly there pride that he had for her completely demolished and was forgotten once he learned of her pregnancy. Her short relationship with Puck fizzled out and as she remembered, she told him that he didn't "dig on fat chicks" while she was pregnant but now he's dating Lauren. That wasn't a low blow or anything. Finn was back with her, but of course, his attention is diverted to Rachel once again.

What was it about her that people loved? Yeah, she was talented and had an incredible voice but what else?

She slowly walked off the stage, looking Rachel over as she did so. She'd always had long legs that seemed strange given her short height. She felt a flush creep up on her neck as her eyes lingered on her thigh and then quickly averted upwards. Although she wore unflattering tops, she did have a nice chest that was accentuated tonight with her pink dress. The brunette did have a cute smile as she was displaying right now for Kurt but it slowly dissolved once she noticed Quinn was staring at her.

She quickly fixated her expression to what she hoped was a sufficient glare since she still felt her face was flushed from looking over her legs. As they stared at each other amongst all the noise and chaotic yelling in the gym, Quinn continued to stare heatedly into those chocolate orbs as though everything around her wasn't fazing her at all.

Her mouth turned into a self-hating grimace as her mind came to the same conclusion once again, on just why she hated Rachel Berry so much.

She made her feel. She made her drop her defenses. Most of all, she made Quinn feel the one emotion she wasn't supposed to feel given her religion. She wasn't allowed to have feelings for a girl.

The one night she carelessly spoke with her mother about her newfound, confusing feelings for Rachel during her freshman year, it turned out to be one of her biggest regrets. Her mother had gotten drunk after Quinn went to sleep and had blabbered almost verbatim of what she had said to her father. The next day, she wasn't allowed to go to school because he had to sit down with her all day and read together every passage in the Bible that discussed homosexuality. She remembers with crystal clarity what he had said to her after she was still confused.

"If this doesn't work," he had muttered before standing and removing his belt. "I'll beat it out of you," he had said with a cold, dark menacing tone before whipping it, the end catching on the couch next to her near her thigh. She had jumped and yelped, looking up at her father with terrified eyes. The belt hadn't sufficed. His fists, however, got the job done momentarily enough for her to lie.

Rachel's mouth opened slightly as if she were about to start offering her condolences but Quinn shook her head, feeling that familiar anger that closely mimicked envy rise in her body.

She was envious that Rachel had two gay fathers that would accept her if she was gay. They would easily offer her advice and be there for her through any breakup, straight or gay. Her family was all about talking and discussing feelings while Quinn's family wanted any issue that could break the mold of the "perfect Christian family" to be swept under the rug. She was trapped while Rachel was breaking free.

Suddenly, her anger exploded inside of her. Rachel was the reason she was struggling with her sexuality. Rachel was the reason for all of her long, tortured nights where she couldn't sleep because she was torn for her dedication to her religion and her feelings for the brunette. She was the reason that was so scared. She couldn't talk about it with her parents because she didn't want another beating. She couldn't speak with Mr. Schue because really, how much reasonable advice can that man give? Ms. Pillsbury was the worst counselor she'd ever seen. Kurt was her only option but she didn't want to burden him with her problems given how much this whole ordeal with Karofsky had taken out of him. She wanted him to enjoy his time with Blaine now they had gotten together because he deserved some happiness.

Without considering the fact that other people were in the gym and could see this, she grabbed Rachel around the wrist and tugged her through the masses of people towards the bathroom. The brunette wasn't struggling like she assumed she would and even slid her hand upward to grasp Quinn's. The blonde's step faltered as she pushed open the door as she felt the warmth from her hand spread throughout her whole arm. Once inside the bathroom, Quinn tore her hand away from Rachel's and turned briskly around, pointing at her confused and worried face.

"You did this to me!" She shrieked, feeling her whole body vibrate with hot anger and frustration. Rachel's eyes widened slightly in perplexity and her lips parted, looking upon with Quinn but trepidation.

All of the frustration and confusion from the past three years over the clashing of her religion and her sexuality bubbled to the surface and before she knew it, her hand was raised and it connected hard with the brunette's cheek, resulting in a resounding noise that echoed in the bathroom loudly like a gunshot to the heart. Quinn's face contorted into a horrid realization of what she had done while Rachel stayed in her position, looking frightened almost, as her own hand lingered over the already reddening spot.

She had become her father.

"Oh my god," the blonde whispered in the tense, heavy silence. "Rachel," she said quietly as if anything louder would break the brunette even more. The blonde shook her head and pulled her lips in, her eyesight blurring due to her oncoming tears. The one thing that wasn't blurry was the red handprint on Rachel's face once she straightened up and her hand slid down. Chocolate brown orbs lifted to look at Quinn and she was expecting blind fury but she was surprised to find Rachel slowly exhale and clench her jaw, as if she too were fighting tears.

"Quinn, I can assure you that I had nothing to do with Kurt winning prom queen," she spoke slowly with breaks in her tone. Her pained eyes met Quinn's and her brow furrowed momentarily once she noticed that the blonde had tears. Her eyes fluttered and she looked away from the ex-Cheerio to wipe away the tears that were brimming. "I wasn't responsible for Finn and Jesse fighting and therefore, was—"

"This isn't…" she interrupted with soft, exhausted words as though she finally had removed the façade she carried all the time and this was her true feelings: broken, pained, and fatigued. "It isn't about that." She whispered as a tear brimmed over and fell down her cheek.

Rachel's brow furrowed and she took a step closer hesitantly. They stood together in silence, both of them with red, teary eyes as Rachel waited for Quinn to speak. The blonde felt her staring at her, trying to figure out what was wrong and when she saw a flicker in her eye, meaning that she may have found out, she quickly turned her head. Rachel shook her head and stepped to the side, closer to remove any chance for Quinn to put up her defenses and turn away.

With a self-deprecating chuckle to herself, Quinn realized that this was yet another example of Rachel's endless care for others even though they stomp on her. Quinn had just slapped her and yet, here the brunette stood even closer than before, desperate to find out what was forcing the ex-Cheerio to unravel.

"You—" She paused and struggled with the words to say. She flinched reflexively as though she were scared to say the words again since the last time, it had ended with unbearable pain from a man who should've taken the pain away and not relentlessly pounded his fists into her with such animosity and determination that sweat bedded up on forehead and dripped onto her. "I have feelings…" she murmured and Rachel leaned in closer to hear. Too close, Quinn thought once her perfume lifted to further rattle the blonde's head. She couldn't say the rest because she had a mixture of fear, anxiety and the sheer imprint that her father had left on her. She hoped that with the simple nod towards the brunette and gaze that she bestowed on her, she would figure it out.

Several seconds passed and Rachel stood next to her, her expression contorted into extreme puzzlement before finally, the realization dawned on her. Her eyes widened and a hand rose to cover her mouth, which had formed an "O" as she looked at the blonde. She didn't move, however. She stayed close to Quinn and after a moment, intertwined their hands to reassure her. Suddenly, the blonde had no control and wept openly, her shoulders shaking in the blue dress and her mascara running down her cheeks along with the tears. All of her strength that she put so much into her façade that she was fine every single day vanished and her knees weakened, only for Rachel to catch her. Slowly, they both fell to the ground and Rachel pulled Quinn's head against her chest, one hand stroking her hair while the other gripped her hand tightly.

"It's all right…" Rachel whispered into her ear. It was the standard phrase everyone used while someone was crying and to anyone else, it would have held no meaning. To Rachel, it was the utter truth. Everything was all right; perfect even.

Quinn finally felt the same way.

That was so depressing to write. I'm going to go listen to "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty" once again and ready happy Faberry fanfic.