'Why are you leaving so soon?' Dofo asked, mimicking that he was upset to
see Sandgulf go. 'What if the Night Riders come here?'
'I'm afraid Sandgulf and I must go.' Said Dildo, packing his stuff. 'I intend to go on a long holiday.'
'And I have to see a friend of a friend.' Said Sandgulf. The two were actually being hunted down after a large, un-accidental explosion at Dildo's Grub Fest. Dildo showed Sandgulf to the door, but when he opened it, he found two young Hobbits standing outside.
'Oh... Hullo, Dilly!' Said one.
'Nice weather we're having!' Said the other.
'Why!' Said Scram. 'If it isn't Marry and Pipout!
'It sure is!' Chimed Pipout.
'We weren't doing anything.' Said Marry.
'Glad to hear it.' Said Sandalf. 'Now excuse me, we must be off.'
And so Dildo and Sandalf quickly departed the Shiter.
'Oh well.' Said Scram. 'It's kind o' sad to see 'em go, ain't it?'
'Yes.' Said Dofo. 'Oh well. Are we ready to go?'
'Sure are!' Said Pipout. He pointed to the sign he and Marry had put on the door. "Abandoned".
'Brilliant!' Said Dofo. 'Let us go to our new home in Suckland!'
And so the fellows ran from the Shiter. Soon they came across a large field.
'That's Farmer Faggots crop!' Explained Pipout. 'Lets go nick some food for our journey!'
And so the Hobbits did. But it wasn't until their fatal error of trying to get "That big, long, dog-tail-like carrot" then they were discovered. With a yank and a snap, Pipout gracefully legged it while Farmer Faggots dog tried to get revenge for the loss of his prime tail. They Hobbits ran so fast and so far, they made it to Suckland in no time.
Suckland was very much like Hobbitslum, in the fact that no one had proper waste disposal units. This was the usual way of the Hobbits of Centre Earth, as the old saying goes: "Live Clean, Think Clean". Hobbits were not the cleanest-minded people.
Unpacking in their new home, Dofo became happy again. His troubles were behind him. Picking up his last pair of soiled underwear from his case, he looked merrily down to something that slipped his mind.
'Bother!' He called in an angry manner. 'It's the One Thing!'
'I thought we left that b'ind, Mr. Dofo.' Said Scram. Dofo looked uncomfortably at Pipout and Marry.
'Oh, don't worry about us!' Said Pipout happily.
'Scram's been telling us all about this Thing Business.'
'Well.' Said Dofo. 'It seems that the Thing will come with me no matter what I do, so I guess I must go to Boredor now. We are still in danger as long as the Thing is with us, and it will be ever with us by some strange, unseen power.'
And so the Hobbits packed up their stuff and gave the house to their neighbour, Tatty Forger.
'If by an unseen power you mean the fact you forgot about the Thing, Dofo, you're correct.' Muttered Marry. And for no reason, Scramwise Screwmee suddenly cheered up after his constant depression over his virginity and said:
'Did you realise, Mr. Dofo, we're going to see the elves?'*
*See Definition of Elves, Page 1
'I'm afraid Sandgulf and I must go.' Said Dildo, packing his stuff. 'I intend to go on a long holiday.'
'And I have to see a friend of a friend.' Said Sandgulf. The two were actually being hunted down after a large, un-accidental explosion at Dildo's Grub Fest. Dildo showed Sandgulf to the door, but when he opened it, he found two young Hobbits standing outside.
'Oh... Hullo, Dilly!' Said one.
'Nice weather we're having!' Said the other.
'Why!' Said Scram. 'If it isn't Marry and Pipout!
'It sure is!' Chimed Pipout.
'We weren't doing anything.' Said Marry.
'Glad to hear it.' Said Sandalf. 'Now excuse me, we must be off.'
And so Dildo and Sandalf quickly departed the Shiter.
'Oh well.' Said Scram. 'It's kind o' sad to see 'em go, ain't it?'
'Yes.' Said Dofo. 'Oh well. Are we ready to go?'
'Sure are!' Said Pipout. He pointed to the sign he and Marry had put on the door. "Abandoned".
'Brilliant!' Said Dofo. 'Let us go to our new home in Suckland!'
And so the fellows ran from the Shiter. Soon they came across a large field.
'That's Farmer Faggots crop!' Explained Pipout. 'Lets go nick some food for our journey!'
And so the Hobbits did. But it wasn't until their fatal error of trying to get "That big, long, dog-tail-like carrot" then they were discovered. With a yank and a snap, Pipout gracefully legged it while Farmer Faggots dog tried to get revenge for the loss of his prime tail. They Hobbits ran so fast and so far, they made it to Suckland in no time.
Suckland was very much like Hobbitslum, in the fact that no one had proper waste disposal units. This was the usual way of the Hobbits of Centre Earth, as the old saying goes: "Live Clean, Think Clean". Hobbits were not the cleanest-minded people.
Unpacking in their new home, Dofo became happy again. His troubles were behind him. Picking up his last pair of soiled underwear from his case, he looked merrily down to something that slipped his mind.
'Bother!' He called in an angry manner. 'It's the One Thing!'
'I thought we left that b'ind, Mr. Dofo.' Said Scram. Dofo looked uncomfortably at Pipout and Marry.
'Oh, don't worry about us!' Said Pipout happily.
'Scram's been telling us all about this Thing Business.'
'Well.' Said Dofo. 'It seems that the Thing will come with me no matter what I do, so I guess I must go to Boredor now. We are still in danger as long as the Thing is with us, and it will be ever with us by some strange, unseen power.'
And so the Hobbits packed up their stuff and gave the house to their neighbour, Tatty Forger.
'If by an unseen power you mean the fact you forgot about the Thing, Dofo, you're correct.' Muttered Marry. And for no reason, Scramwise Screwmee suddenly cheered up after his constant depression over his virginity and said:
'Did you realise, Mr. Dofo, we're going to see the elves?'*
*See Definition of Elves, Page 1