"She hated Chuck Bass.
God she hated him.
She hated the way he spoke; his voice was dark and thick and heavy and scorching.
She hated the way he walked; with square shoulders and confidence, and sometimes a bounce to his step.
She hated the way he smelt; sickly sweet and somewhat musky.
She hated the way he controlled her; how his hands would encircle her wrists and his words would make her bend at the knees in surrender.
She hated the way he claimed her as his.
She hated the way he smirked; it was cocky and patronising.
She hated the way he laughed; it was rare and loud and demanding.
She hated the way he loved; it was intense and frightening and possessive and she hated the way he made love; with strength and sweat and heat.
She hated the way he got drunk and lost himself in dark, fiery spirals of pity and self-hate.
She hated the way he was passionate, because passion was far too powerful to ever be a gentle emotion.
She hated that she still loved him.
She loved that his voice was rich and warm like melted caramel.
She loved the way he walked; because the bounce in his step was for her and his square shoulders were strong and protective.
She loved the way he smelt, and even tasted the way he sounded; oh that hot, trickling caramel.
She loved the way he would use initiative and control situations; he would take her wrists softly in his hands and whisper things that made her weak at the knees.
She loved the way he claimed her as his; branding her flesh with his kisses.
She loved the way he smirked; it was as though he could find amusement in even the darkest of situations.
She loved the way he laughed; it was so rare that when she heard it, it demanded her attention.
She loved the way he loved her; because it was true and passionate and fierce and she loved the way he made love; because he knew how to take control, how to let her take control, and how to be oh so gentle.
To climb with her as a team.
She loved the way he was sometimes silly after too many drinks; he would dance and sing and play.
She loved the way he was passionate; because she was what he was passionate about.
Chuck Bass had hurt Blair Waldorf far too many times, and just because they were inevitable didn't mean it was alright. They had hurt each other, matched the other's blow with one stronger and harder and faster.
But the night that Blair had told him she was marrying Louis, Chuck had gone too far. Further than they the time with Jack and the hotel; they did, after all match blow for blow. Further than the time he slept with Jenny Humphrey and further than the time he bought Eva to New York.
And somehow, she hated him just as much as she loved him.
She knew what it was like to be with someone who could only give her love; and being with Louis was beautiful.
But because she knew she wasn't trapped in his Spider Bass web, she knew that being tangled was still more enjoyable than simply walking in a straight line.
Blair Waldorf loved Chuck Bass.
Blair Waldorf loved Louis Grimaldi.
But she only hated one.
And she would rather have the combined fury of heaven and hell on her side than just divinity.
Because angels have a long way to fall but the devil can only rise to redemption.
To kneel at heaven's gates, and with a kiss, meld himself into simply a flawed human being.
Mix fire with water and the smoke will rise.
And she was engulfed. Engulfed by the emotions he elicited from her.
Was she weak to forgive him?
Maybe.
But isn't forgiveness the greatest strength we possess?
Isn't it the greatest gift we can give?
I'm grateful every day that my mother found it within her to forgive my father, or else I would not be here.
Would I have forgiven him if it were me?
No.
But that's what makes my mother so strong and brave.
Her heart.
People say that after all they went through, their relationship was based on sex. But I know better.
It was based on the fact that they loved to hate each other, and hated to love each other, yet somehow managed to do both.
It was based on the fact that they challenged each other. They knew each other better than they knew themselves.
It was based on the fact that they would simply rather die than be apart.
It was based on their trade mark, three letters and eight words.
She forgave him because she loved him. He acted the way he did because he loved her"- Audrey Bass, Falling Up.
This is just a lead up to a story about the Bass family. It's an "extract" from Audrey Bass' book (Chuck and Blair's daughter). It refers to 4.20. Please let me know what you think and if I should bother continuing. Thanks, xoxo.