Summary: She's lost so much already. But could this be the last straw? F!Hawke/Fenris

Disclaimer: Phaedra is all mine, but I have nothing else.

Queen's Quornor: I don't know if this will be up to my usual standards, since it has been more than six months since I last wrote ANYTHING related to fantasy or fan-fiction, but at least I am writing again. I've really missed this particular saddle. This is my first Dragon Age fic, but if my various jotted notes are any indicator I doubt this'll be the last.

Good News, Bad Timing

"You're pregnant."

"What?"

Anders folded his arms across his chest, giving his friend a level look. "You honestly had no idea?"

Phaedra glared at him through slitted eyes. "Excuse me for losing track of my menses. I figured settling this thing with the qunari was more important than the last time I bled."

"How could you have forgotten? Didn't your mother tell you what can happen after a quick romp in the sheets?" He immediately regretted his words as the young woman's acid green eyes filled with tears. She was still hurting from her mother's murder, two weeks past.

The younger mage scrubbed at her eyes, not letting Anders see her cry. "It figures. I come to you because my stomach won't stop rolling, and you tell me I'm with child. As if I didn't have enough to worry about as it is." She brushed her snowy hair behind her shoulders, a gesture he knew meant she was trying to calm herself. "You'd think a mage, of all people, would know the signs..."

"You've had a lot on your mind," Anders soothed, sitting beside her on the examination table. His initial interest in her had changed over time, so he now saw himself more as an older brother rather than a potential lover. Phaedra needed a friendly confidante, particularly since Carver was too busy with his templar duties and old resentments. Their little group was the closest thing to a family she had now.

She laughed bitterly. "That's an understatement. Sometimes I think this entire city would fall apart if I wasn't here."

"Let me guess. Fenris is the father?" he asked. When she nodded, he sighed. "I suppose there's even less chance that he knows what's going on."

"He hasn't seen me since Mother was cremated," she admitted. "He came by to see if I was all right, and left after I cried myself to sleep. He's been coming to terms with some things himself."

"You both were virgins, weren't you?"

"Anders!"

He held up his hands, deflecting her sudden wrath. "I was about to say that would explain the current situation. My first time, it didn't cross my mind to pull out before it was too late. Thank the Maker that teacher didn't get pregnant, or I would have been made Tranquil faster than you can say 'damn templars'." He rubbed her back in comforting circles as she put her head in her hands. Phaedra didn't get embarrassed very easily, so he doubted the gesture was meant to hide any emotional discomfort. "You were just too excited to think about protecting yourself. It happens."

Phaedra ran her fingers through her hair, still hiding her face. "I can't tell Fenris; he's got enough to worry about."

"And you don't?" Anders frowned, knowing she wasn't going to like what he was about to suggest. He never liked this option, either. "Phaedra, if you aren't ready for this, I can mix something up for you. You don't have to be a mother just yet."

The look he received from the younger mage was answer enough. "I'll terminate this pregnancy the day Isabella joins the Chantry."

"You know he'll find out, anyway. This isn't the sort of thing that stays hidden forever."

She sighed. "I'll tell him when I'm ready. When he's ready. Just...don't tell the others. Please?" She grabbed his hands with surprising strength, capturing his brown eyes within her green ones. "The last thing I need is to be left behind because of this. I'm the diplomatic one."

"Fenris can handle talking to the Arishok," Anders pointed out.

"He knows their language and their ways, that's true. But he doesn't have any pull with the Powers That Be, so his words wouldn't carry more than a certain weight. Besides, I'm the peacekeeper in the group." Anders had to admit, she had a point. Were it not for Phaedra's skillful deflections from touchy subjects, he and the former slave would have torn each other to pieces long ago.

"You won't begin to show for a few months yet," he consoled. "Perhaps by then the two of you will have solved whatever is bothering him and gotten back together."

"I doubt it," she muttered. "He left because he said we were moving too fast, among other things. It took him three years to admit his attraction to me; this baby will be grown before he comes back!"

Anders looked at his miserable friend, and had to surpress the urge to find Fenris and drag him back to Phaedra by his pointy ear. Couldn't the man see how much she needed him? How much she cared?

"Don't tell him, Anders. Or any of them. Please."

He heaved a sigh of his own. "You have my word, unless I deem it necessary for them to know." Anders rose from the table and went to his potions box. "I'll give you something for the nausea, but you'll have to watch your diet, and no drinking. Whiskey isn't good for anyone, especially not unborn children."

"Thanks, Anders. This really means a lot," she told him, getting to her feet with one hand on her stomach.

"Think nothing of it," he replied, keeping his misgivings to himself.