i see it in the way you would do
when no one else could ever get through
holding back till i come around
time and time again you wait for me to come in
and did you really look my way?
'cause no one could've seen this coming
i would never let you down
if i was running backwards in full time
so i can and i will and you'll see your hero come running
over and over tonight
and i do wanna love you
and i do wanna try
because if falling for you boy is crazy
then i'm going out of my mind

~for the nights i can't remember, hedley

(k u r t pov)

It's really no secret that you're lonely most of the time. At least, you were, before you met Blaine. But life pre-Blaine was bleak, with the random shots of color coming from Mercedes and Tina and, later on, Finn and Rachel.

Your dad was always there for you. He is always there for you. But after your mom died, it didn't really seem to matter what he did.

There was still something missing, an empty hole in your life where she used to be.

You're gay.

And a teenager.

And you live in Lima.

It's not a surprise that you're on the outside looking in. Honestly, more often than not, you prefer it that way. You don't want to be like the other Neanderthals at McKinley High.

But you don't want to be all by yourself either.

So when you go to Dalton and everyone treats you like one of them, everything is so amazing already. And then there's this beautiful boy who sings better than Finn Hudson ever did and smiles like he's supposed to be on a commercial for toothpaste and looks at you like you're special in the best possible way.

He doesn't look at you like you're weird, or like you're unworthy. He looks at you and it makes you feel like you aren't alone.

So transferring wasn't really all that bad.

It doesn't take too long for you to realize that being the same as everyone else not only takes away that feeling of loneliness, it also takes away all of your uniqueness.

That's when you start to miss McKinley.

Of course, Dalton has high points and, most importantly, it has Blaine. But it doesn't have fellow divas to keep you on your toes, doesn't have a Puck or Santana to make inappropriate comments, doesn't have a Brittany to confuse everyone or a Tina to discuss fashion trends with. There's no Mike or Artie or Quinn, no first-crush-turned-stepbrother or too-involved Spanish teacher.

After a while of missing everyone else, you realize that you're missing yourself as well. It sounds crazy when you say it out loud because, clearly, you're still you. But being at Dalton, wearing a uniform, being the same as everyone else with your gelled hair and good voice and high grades, it made you lose a little bit of yourself.

Every day you spent there felt like you were becoming a little less Kurt Hummel.

So when Karofsky fake apologizes, or real apologizes, you still aren't sure which it was, you jump at the chance to come back. Sure, there are slushies and bullying and jerks, but there's also Glee Club, individuality and independence and whatever clothes you feel best represent your mood for that specific day.

This time around, you don't feel alone.

You feel unique.

Things still aren't perfect though. You're still missing something, just one thing.

You miss Blaine.

It's perfectly ridiculous, because you see him on the weekends and meet up for coffee after school and text all throughout the day. But if he's not right there, warm shoulder pressed against yours and slender fingers brushing against your own, you miss him.

Just a little bit.

It always gets worse at night though.

Sometimes, you just can't fall asleep. You'll be lying in bed, staring at your ceiling and humming Barbra Streisand songs just waiting for sleep that doesn't seem to be coming. It'll go on for hours some nights, you lying there humming song after song after song because for some reason you just can't fall asleep.

It's the fifth night in a row of too little sleep when you give up.

You stretch out a lazy arm, reaching for your phone where it's resting on your bedside table.

2:03 glares at you from the screen and you hesitate for just a moment more.

Then you press contacts and scroll down a little bit and your finger hovers over his name for the next ten minutes.

You still aren't tired.

You give in and call.

"'Lo?" a quiet voice murmurs, and a smile automatically flashes across your face at your boyfriend's warm voice.

"Hey," you whisper back, remaining quiet in some misguided attempt to not disturb the stillness your room and the rest of the house is under. After all, it is almost three in the morning and a school night and your dad just doesn't need to know that you're on the phone.

"Kurt? Are you all right?" Blaine's tone is an odd mixture of curious and worried and the concern does nothing but make your smile widen.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep and I…" you trail off, not sure how he would take the thought that you were lying awake at two in the morning on a Tuesday night thinking about him. You were sure that Santana and Puck would lecture you about something named Booty Call Implication and you don't want Blaine to get the wrong idea.

Or, well, the right one.

But it's a little bit early in the relationship for that anyways.

"I was thinking about you too," he responds, his deep laugh resonating in your ear. "I actually have been all week. I've been missing you."

You bite your lip before the sigh of contentment can escape. "You have been?" you question before you can stop yourself. You aren't what people would call insecure and you've never really had that many issues believing that you're amazing.

It's just that you sometimes have trouble believing other people think that you're amazing.

"Kurt," he sighs in response and you can hear him moving, shifting around and standing. "I always miss you when you're not with me."

The smile that covers your face is so wide that you feel like your face is about to split right down the middle. You hum an agreement and then start to talk about your day, about how Rachel and Puck have all this weird tension between them ever since the nose job debacle. Apparently, the fact that he was the only one who managed to talk her into listening to him, well, you, but she didn't know that at the time, was making the two of them slightly uncomfortable.

You're talking about prom and he's responding at all the right times, laughing whenever you make a sarcastic comment and teasing you whenever he sees an opportunity. The warmth of his voice in your ear is already helping you relax, making you tired as you finally unwind.

You're yawning when you hear a car outside on the street.

"Open your window, Kurt," Blaine demands and you move to do so without a conscious decision.

There's a boy with curly hair and emerald green pajama pants standing on your lawn, the white of his shirt almost too bright in the early morning darkness.

You hang up your phone and continue staring at him. "Blaine?" you hiss in shock, barely remembering to keep your voice down in time.

He just grins up at you, his smile easy and content as it lazily spreads over his face. One hand rises to wave at you, a brown eye winking so quickly you almost miss it. "Come down," is all he says, his eyes sparkling with bright confidence.

You don't respond, don't stop to think about the possible consequences, don't even consider saying no.

Instead, you turn around and slip on some shoes, striding silently down the stairs. A quiet click and the front door is unlocked and you're sliding out the door, closing it quietly behind you. You glance down for a moment and wonder if you should have changed out of the black shirt you had stolen from Finn at some point and the pinstriped gray pajama pants you got a couple weeks ago on a shopping trip with the Glee girls.

But then there are warm lips pressed against yours and you forget to care about your clothes. Blaine tastes like honey and oranges and you inhale sharply the moment that he pulls away, your mind slightly frozen. Your eyes blink open slowly, your tongue swiping out to lick your lips before you can think better of it.

That easy smile flashes across his face again and his eyes darken slightly.

"I figured that it was silly for both of us to be awake and missing each other," he states quietly. You don't respond with words, simply reaching out and lacing your fingers through his.

You tug him with you into the backyard, walking over to your favorite tree and sitting down. He gracefully sits next to you, squeezing your hand just a little bit tighter and shifting so that his shoulder is pressed against yours.

"So, what were you saying about Santana wanting to be Prom Queen?"

You start talking again, pausing for his interjections and questions, a bright laugh escaping your lips every time he made a lame joke. You like that there's no competition as to who gets to be the sarcastic one of the relationship.

He's telling you some story about the last Warbler performance when you notice that it's slowly lightening around the two of you, a soft golden light shining through Blaine's unruly curls.

You glance up and see the sun just rising, pinks and oranges and yellows swirled across the pale blue sky like an artist painted them. Blaine's hand is still warm in yours and as you think about how Mercedes and Rachel are going to be jealous over your amazing boyfriend when you tell them this story in third period, Blaine gently pulls on your hand so that you're facing him.

His lips touch yours just as the sun moves that last inch into the sky, the golden light warm against your skin.

Blaine shifts so that his lips can press more easily to yours, his hand still twined with yours and your other hand tangled in his wild hair.

You pull back slightly when you're dizzy from lack of air, and an uncontrollable smile makes your mouth curl where it's still lightly touching his.

"This is so much better than being lonely and talking to you on the phone," you say, still breathing heavily.

His lips meet yours again in a messy kiss, his chuckle reverberating though your entwined bodies.

You're going to be exhausted at school today and you're pretty sure that your dad has woken up and noticed that you aren't in bed and that there's an extra car in the driveway and you're going to be in so much trouble.

But as you taste honey and oranges again and your skin feels warm all over, the sun and Blaine combing to make you feel like a melted puddle of Kurt, and you decide that it was worth it.

Definitely worth it.

This is my first Klaine, and my first Kurt POV. So hopefully it was all right. I don't own Glee or the characters or For the Nights I Can't Remember.

If you read Rolling in the Deep, I promise I'm working on an update. I'm sorry it's taking so long.

Anyways. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it.

Review? Pretty please?