Hey there. Let me just say, before you begin reading, that this story consumed me for the passed two months and caused me to dwell in angst while writing it. Needless to say, this fic means a lot to me, and I worked hard on it. So, yes... enjoy. Settings take place in up to date manga verse.

Disclaimers apply.

Warnings: Yaoi, sex and stuff, lots of angst

-x

"You're so pretty." A smirk. Oh… Fuck you.

Sasuke can only snarl at the childish teasing voice he uses. Every single time.

"Just hurry up." Naruto frowns at this and kneels to grab Sasuke's chin, bringing his face to meet his own. Sasuke hisses lowly, he doesn't know why he allows Naruto this much power over him. They both know it's a game, so Sasuke can tolerate it… for now.

Naruto is still holding that god forsaken smirk that could drive Sasuke mad. He squints his blue eyes in mock observation of the face he's holding in his fingers, then he laughs. Small, soft, and deep. A sound that makes Sasuke's skin crawl. He can only cringe all the more. He doesn't know how long he can stand this, if Naruto continues on with acting like he owns him. One more time, he thinks, and he'd love to shove his fist into that whiskered cheek.

He knows he won't though.

"Awe, Sasuke," He frowns here, pretending to be offended with a look of hurt. "Why on earth would I do that?" Then he smiles again, that crooked and cunning smile. "You know I love to take things slow." Naruto lowers himself, his features becoming harsh yet seductive, he puts his mouth right behind Sasuke's ear, tightening his grip on the narrow chin. "How I love to watch you squirm."

Naruto doesn't miss the small shiver that penetrates those pale shoulders. Sasuke couldn't help it, but he knows it's a mistake. It gives Naruto the feelings of more control, more power.

Look what I can do to you, pretty, little Sasuke.

And Sasuke does freeze here with realization, because he knows that Naruto will win. Even if he fights at first, he is aware of how Naruto knows him, he has the instruction manual on how to break him down. Naruto also knows that he will get his way, for he knows how Sasuke's body and mind tick. He knows what to do to make Sasuke respond, to make him whine, to get under his skin. He knows it all. It's like a book he's read one hundred times. Sasuke is easy to him. It elates his ego so.

They've never been able to understand each other emotionally, they know will never contemplate the troubles of one another's lives, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because they know each other physically. To them that is only of significance, it's not as if they were ever relationship - or even proper friendship material, both of them knew this. As long as they could connect in some way, whether it be fighting or sex, then it was fine. Besides, trying to understand emotions is too difficult anyway, it's pointless. There's no aim in even trying, especially when it came to Sasuke and Naruto.

So, only now, only here, Sasuke lets Naruto do what he wants, because he knows Naruto wants to control him, and Naruto knows that Sasuke wants to be controlled. Just a small out of character nature. Just for now.

Naruto doesn't waste time, even though he knew minutes, even seconds, were precious, he never wasted them. He lets go of the other's chin and forcefully takes a hold of Sasuke's knees, with either hand he pushes them apart, spreading those legs, he can't help but think it's a beautiful display. Naruto doesn't let go of his smirk and settles between pale thighs. Sasuke didn't fight, he just lay further back into the pillows, closing his eyes. And Naruto simply growled in delight, he loved this! He loved having this control over Sasuke's body. It was the only thing involving Sasuke he absolutely knew, the only thing he could hold power over. He relished in it.

He bit Sasuke's neck with a grunt, and adored the pitiful sound that came from those pink lips.

"Nnn," Sasuke moaned out and instantly knew he sounded pathetic. He was whimpering and whining, god, how this man could destroy him. He clawed at the tan back and curled his toes tight, uncontrollably arching his spine up. He truly didn't give a fuck. If he wanted to, he could remain still, emotionless, and unfazed as he always is. But then there would be no point in these heated meetings. This was why they met up, secretively, whenever they could get away from their realities, to throw away who they were - just for these times. To play a game and switch the roles around. Where Sasuke didn't have to hide everything under a mask, he didn't need to lock away his feelings far away in a pit under the sea. He could just be. Be whatever the fuck he wanted here, writhe and scream, anything that came to his mind - he could do. Because what happens in this hotel room never leaves, nor changes anything. So, yes, for once, it's okay.

Then, Naruto shifts his head and bites hard. Hard enough to draw blood. This shocks Sasuke, so he kicks Naruto… right in the gut. Hard enough to throw him back a couple feet. Naruto gasps, then makes a rumbling noise in his throat. A warning, and when he regains balance and lifts his head back up, Sasuke is staring into red eyes. Dark, mean, and menacing red. Sasuke feels his stomach sink, and his heart skip a beat. He knows of his mistake and he only has time to gulp before that body lunges at him and very large hands, with very sharp claws are gripping bindingly tight around his neck.

"You stupid fucking cunt!" It's not Naruto's voice that speaks, but something else deep, rasp, and intimidating. Something very demonic and chilling to the bone, and here is where Sasuke is completely at a loss of what to do. Slightly panicked with the sight of something completely untamed and animalistic holding him down from above. He knows this creature will kill him if given the chance. It will hold him here until the whites of his eyes turn red and his lips turn blue, he will surely die under these hands if he doesn't think of something. Here he regrets Naruto not telling him a sufficient way to make the Kyuubi's chakra stop from emitting under the seal in a dangerous situation. He curses now that he doesn't know how to make the influence of Kyuubi's conscious leave Naruto's mind.

Sasuke knows though, now is the time to try anything if he wants to bring the real Naruto back, and also because the pressure of constriction, and the lack of oxygen is leaving him dizzy. So, he does what he thinks Naruto will react to, he is sure if Naruto is in there at all, he won't be able to ignore this. Softly, and surprisingly easy, Sasuke lets watery tears fall from the corner of his eyes, he changes his expression to a pained and tortured one. Asking for mercy with his eyes, and forcefully willing the last of his air out of his lungs, he lets out a loud sob. Even if he is faking these tears, and they are purely crocodile made, he knows it will fool Naruto. It has to effect him.

"Naruto!" Sasuke pleads his name, sounding almost desperate, and with the last he can muster, with no air left, he mouths, 'Wake up.'

Sasuke Uchiha doesn't show tears, fake or not. Ever. Not even during their intimate times together when he lets go of his personality. No exceptions. He knows something this secretive and open will effect Naruto. Him displaying any type of emotions always effects Naruto.

And it does.

The creature roars loud in his face with displeasure, and Sasuke can feel instant gratification of those hands leaving his neck. He greedily sucks in air, panting to catch up his breathing, while Naruto is growling with clenched eyes, backing away from Sasuke and gripping his hair. Sasuke sits up, interested, and watches the transformation of the red chakra leaving the body before him. He notices how the lines on Naruto's cheek become less defined, his hair becoming less wild, and he starts looking like himself again. He's astounded at how fast this all happens and un-happens. Once the red has almost completely dissipated, he crawls over, rises on his knees, and grabs a fist full of blond hair, smashing his mouth wetly onto the other's. Naruto seeming to immediately awake and respond.

Just because Kyuubi made an appearance and created a minor obstacle, it doesn't change what Sasuke wants, it doesn't change anything, and they both still want it bad.

Then Naruto lunges again, pushing Sasuke back onto the bed and pinning his hands playfully, putting his knees between Sasuke's and using that as a technique to slide those legs open. Naruto drops his hips, enjoying the way Sasuke's thighs wrap around his lower waist almost automatically.

"You're stupid, you know that?" Naruto says with a hint of remorse, his face contradicting with a reprimanding and hard expression, yet he kissed all over the pale face. "I can't control myself… you should know better." The raspy voice continues, still kissing with little nips on Sasuke's jaw.

Sasuke doesn't seem to mind, not even as Naruto insults him, as he grinds upward into the hips above his, seeming to have lost all patience. "Naruto!" His body is demanding something - he can barely stand the wait. And now he's whining, pleasure filled noises sounding so desperate. Which Naruto instantly responds to. He send his hips forward roughly, again and again, meeting Sasuke's small thrusts. The bed rocks forward with the force of it all and Sasuke's mouth is hanging open in unvoiced pleasure.

"Ahhh, fuck!" Naruto can't help it and his teeth are once again drawn to the skin above Sasuke's clavicle. Hips not relenting in the hard grinding session, his cock hard and wet underneath his boxers. With Sasuke still whimpering in pleasure, it doesn't fail to make him want to cum in his clothes, and he can't stop voicing his sexual frustration through constant growls that reverberate on the collar bone under the skin he continues to abuse with his teeth.

They continue on rubbing against each other, sometimes changing the pace. Naruto stopping from forceful thrusts, to slow ones full of pressure. Pressing so hard against one another they can feel each other's hips bones together, pinching the skin between them.

Then Sasuke throws his arms up behind himself to grab and claw at the bed post, letting his head fall back, and a desperate cry leave his throat, "Nnn, don't stop." His voice carries off to a moan, all he can do is lay their, letting Naruto torture him with these sensations. He wanted more. And then Naruto snaps.

On reflex, and almost unbearably fast, Naruto lifts himself onto his knees and powerfully grabs Sasuke's thighs. Squeezing them, spreading them, and then aggressively shoving them up to meet pale shoulder's, bending Sasuke lithe body in half, with his ass in a perfectly inviting position. Naruto, taking advantage of that, presses his hips to Sasuke's ass. Even though both still clothed with thin underwear, his cock fit perfectly between the spread cheeks of Sasuke's bottom. And Sasuke, to the best of his ability in his current position, let out a scream of approval, which went straight to fill Naruto's libido.

And Naruto said seductively, "Are you wet for me, baby? Will you show me how much you want me?" Sasuke could only respond with a high broken sound as Naruto smirked and pressed his hips closer, grinding down forcefully.

"Hurry! Naruto!"

Then suddenly, he stopped, Naruto carelessly letting Sasuke's legs down to drop, and quickly repositioning himself on top of the pale body. While Sasuke had his legs immediately opened, welcoming the other above him. He settled between those thighs again, taking Sasuke's reddened cheeks into his hands and forced those eyes to look into his. He kept a stern face, looking into Sasuke's own. Those black eyes reflecting the overwhelming lust and surrender held within, "What do you want, Sasuke? Tell me." Naruto's voice resembles a struggled, deep snarl.

Sasuke didn't know what to say, at this point the could demand anything and Naruto would comply - would do anything he was asked of. His mouth fell open, astounded at the power he suddenly felt over Naruto. Fuck, yes, he knew what he wanted. Sasuke provocatively wiggled his hips from under Naruto's and squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck, nnn."

"Say it."

Something about that statement had Sasuke guessing Naruto already knew what he wanted.

And Sasuke thought, if he was going all out, he might as well do it seductively. With that decided, he slowly gave Naruto a glance from under black lashes, wetting his lips with his tongue, as if just having an envision of tasting something delicious. He took a small breath,

"Naruto," he began, his breathing becoming shaky, "…eat me."

Oh... Shit. Naruto could have died then and there, with that delicious image in his mind forever. Sasuke, his Sasuke, underneath him asking him to do something so obscenely delicious, words had never felt so good, and he loved it. Naruto closed his eyes and let them roll in the back of his head, his pelvis thrusting down once on Sasuke's underneath him, shivering. What he felt for Sasuke would surely be the death of him one day.

And he smoothly regained his composure, opening his eyes and locking onto Sasuke's own. He smirked with amusement, a chuckle barely restrained in his throat. "You want me to eat you, baby?" Sasuke could have sworn Naruto's eyes flashed red, "Good." And then it was so.

Quickly and hastily, Naruto moved up and pulled Sasuke's underwear off of him in one movement, leaving them to bind his ankles, just out of pure kink. And he gripped those knees, spreading them while his mouth watered, it was all too good he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. He lifted pale legs and slowly shifted to lay between and under them. They bent and rested on his shoulders, with Sasuke's calves over his back - he could feel those heels digging into his ribs out of anticipation. And Sasuke was whimpering above him, unsure of where to put his hands; they wondered from the blonde hair, to a tanned face, and back up to grip at the bedpost, openly displaying his excitement.

He had to let out a chuckle. They had done this before, but not in awhile, it was always his favourite part to watch Sasuke squirm, and god, was he doing it now! He wanted to prolong this for as long as possible, but Sasuke was clearly impatient, he made it obvious by moving his hips nearer to Naruto's face, trying to pull the blonde head closer by clenching his legs forward, letting out whimpers… so mesmerizing. God, he had no idea how fucking hot he was!

"Naru… to, do it… oh, nnn!" Sasuke begged with demand, wiggling his hips, trying to do anything to show how much he wanted it. And then Naruto moved his head down, slowly, oh-so fucking slowly. He gave a tentative lick, Sasuke gasped, and then Naruto erotically latched his mouth onto the small hole of Sasuke's ass. Here Sasuke moaned, cried, and whimpered. His hands quickly going to cover his mouth, but failing at hiding those seductive cries.

Naruto's tongue slowly circled his entrance, wetting it so good, never stopping in suction. Every time he slipped the tip of his tongue in Sasuke would make those little fucking noises, obviously doing his very best to voice his pleasure and keep Naruto aroused. But this was plenty good enough.

He would alternate between sucking and dipping his tongue in, and soon Sasuke was gripping blonde hair, forcefully pulling that head closer with all he had. Naruto loved it, and let his head move side to side, up and down, his tongue following these motions. Sasuke choked on his screams, his legs jerking uncontrollably while his head kept thrown back, eyes continuously squeezed. It felt so fucking good. He didn't let go of Naruto's hair.

Suddenly, it changed, the suction stopped and that mouth momentarily left. Sasuke almost panicked… but then that wet appendage was forcefully penetrating him and Sasuke's back immediately left the bed, as he let out a long moan. While Naruto kept his tongue inside, wiggling it effectively. He then wrapped his arms around Sasuke thighs, drawing that body nearer and shoving his tongue in as far as it would go. Below, Naruto's feet were pushing off the sheets, trying to help move his body up further, to get inside deeper, and that's when he started thrusting it. That is when Sasuke screamed. And Naruto couldn't help it, he moaned, despite his current situation. His tongue still continually thrusting and wiggling, stimulating Sasuke's body so good. It left the receiver crying, panting, and absolutely begging while trying to thrust his ass downward, attempting to fuck himself.

Naruto was relentless, thrusting his tongue in and out, sometimes pushing in far and circling it, squirming it around Sasuke's insides. Sometimes stopping movement completely to just suck on the outer ring of muscle, he kept alternating between all of these, getting Sasuke nice and wet, feeling him jerk and writhe. Though he was extremely aware of his own painfully hard cock underneath him, trapped inside his boxers still. This couldn't keep up for long, this foreplay, he needed to fuck, but first he'd give Sasuke what he wanted. And he continued.

Sasuke was absolutely lost. So fucking lost. His eyelids fluttering, his legs jerking, his back arching, his body shaking everywhere. Never leaving his hands off Naruto's head between his legs, but sometimes raising one up to cover his mouth or bite at his knuckles. He couldn't describe the absolute pleasure it felt to have that muscle moving inside him, that suction on him. He wouldn't last long, he was too intensely aroused and hard, the end was extremely close and he became frantic. He could feel it, so there in his lower pelvis, his hips started thrusting down eagerly.

"Ahh, ahhhh!" His voice kept on like that, rising in pitch the closer his orgasm came. Sasuke lifted himself up to his elbows, and he caught sight of the most erotic thing he had ever seen. Naruto's head moving wildly between his legs, giving him the most fantastic pleasure. That sight, combined with what he felt, was what made him cum. He lost all feeling in his arms and flopped back onto the bed, reaching down to tug and pull violently at Naruto's blonde hair, his cum shooting out all over his stomach. While Naruto, aware of Sasuke's orgasm, began to thrust his tongue fast and vigorous in and out of the rapidly contracting muscles, getting a tongue full of salty essence from Sasuke's anus as he helped him ride his orgasm.

When he came down from that high, he panted and let out a groan of annoyance, which queued Naruto to withdraw. He did, and lifted himself up from between Sasuke's legs, bringing his fingers up to touch at his lips. He smirked. Sasuke tasted lovely, if he did say so himself. His eyes focused on Sasuke, laying there, his eyes glazed and seeming quite disconnected with reality. Naruto decided that he wouldn't stay that way, 'cause right now he was so incredibly horny, he didn't care if Sasuke fought him or not, he would be forcing him down and fucking him hard.

Naruto growled, and leant down over Sasuke, his arms braced powerfully on either side of the boy under him. "Let's fuck." And that was the only warning Sasuke got before he was shoved hard onto his side. Naruto quickly reduced to a sex-hungry beast from all the foreplay and stalling. Even though Sasuke had just came, he was obviously more than willing to comply, with the way he moved onto his stomach instinctively, raising his ass and lowering his head. He whined, shoving himself backward, his ass meeting Naruto hips. And Naruto practically roared, quickly removing his boxers down to his knees.

He wasted no time and mounted Sasuke's pale, thin body, his arms braced right above Sasuke's shoulders as he let out constant gruff noises. His hand going back and grabbing his dick, bringing it to Sasuke entrance, wetly circling the head of it on the outer ring. He moaned out with pleasure, shifting his position back to an upright one, and started slowly pushing inside while Sasuke whimpered beneath him. It felt so god damn good to finally feel that pressure around his dick, he could barely hold himself back.

Sasuke had his mouth open, and eyes closed while he embraced the feeling of being stretched. Despite the pain, he still pushed back, enjoying the way that thick cock penetrated him and filled him so full. He groaned and turned his neck to glance behind, he could see Naruto's muscular low waist and hips pressed right up tight against his ass, those large, tan hands reaching out to grip his thighs, pulling him down on his dick, stretching his entrance impossibly wider. And Sasuke moaned at the discomfort, his head falling back down to the mattress, face turned to the side with his arms limply above, fingers gripping at the sheets.

Not being able to stop himself, Naruto let go of Sasuke's thighs and changed his grip to the pale waist. With a better feeling of control over the body underneath him, he started rolling his hips, connecting hotly with Sasuke's ass. Naruto let out a low moan and squeezed Sasuke forcefully, pulling and pushing him along with the slow, shallow thrusts, and Sasuke whined in delight.

Once again, Naruto lowered himself on top of Sasuke, bracing himself on his elbows, his chest pressed against Sasuke's back, and slowly he moved his mouth to the other's ear. Wetting his lips, he let out a small, hot breath, "Ah, fuck, baby. You're so fucking good, you squeeze me so tight, nnn…" His voice was hoarse, yet seductive, and it didn't fail in making Sasuke moan for him. He smirked, admiring how flawlessly beautiful Sasuke was. Only his.

Then suddenly, it became hard, and Naruto's hips forcefully rammed into Sasuke's ass, pulling out and forcing back in, fast and rough, loud smacking sounds repeatedly filling the room, accompanied by Sasuke's yells and Naruto's groans. Sasuke began clawing desperately at the bed sheets, an attempt to help him crawl away and escape those punishing thrusts, but Naruto would immediately draw him back, grabbing his hips and shoving his ass down onto the thick cock. Then Naruto would snarl in his ear, warning him, "Don't even try it."

So Sasuke dropped his head, laid there with his ass up, and took it. Naruto laughed, loving the show Sasuke gave him, and he didn't relent, his hips kept moving, taking every bit of pleasure in this situation. He reached his arms underneath Sasuke's body, hooking them around pale shoulders and strongly started shoving him backward to meet his thrusts. Forcefully having Sasuke fuck back.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open at the feeling, wiggling his hips while moving them back as Naruto shoved and continually thrust into him. It felt good at that angle, Naruto's dick moving inside him, adding forceful pressure onto his prostate, and he no longer really felt like trying to escape.

"Ahhh! Naruto… shit!" He started willfully pushing himself back, enjoying the way Naruto harshly growled in his ear, seeming to have lost all self restraint. He sounded absolutely beastly, which had Sasuke wondering if he could see Naruto's eyes, would they be blue or red?

Naruto, with his knees between Sasuke's, nudged those pale legs open further, which gave him immediate better access. Sasuke groaned at how far apart his thighs were then stretched, just a few more inches lower and he was sure he would be split in half, he cringed at the thought. But it excited him non the less. Naruto on top of him, commanding every inch of his body and doing what he pleased. He choked out a high-pitched moan. Naruto responded, letting out a pleasured sound and snapping his hips quicker, his fast past showing desperation for release.

He started becoming frenzied. Digging his nails sharp into pale shoulders, using that grip to ruthlessly force Sasuke back into his hips, meeting those pushes with his own forward thrusts. His teeth would continuously latch and unlatch onto a pale neck, occasionally biting or licking his earlobe, becoming unpredictable with his movements. Sasuke just enjoyed it. This raw force. Complete self abandonment. Something he rarely saw from Naruto, unless consumed by red chakra. He was astounded at the pleasure of it.

"Oh. Ah! Naruto!" And Sasuke was digging his fingers into the sheets, moving his hips and wiggling them, excitedly looking for his own release. That's when Naruto slowed, almost to a complete stop, and added that pressure, his pelvis connecting solidly with Sasuke's ass. He moved from side to side here, pushing around inside of Sasuke. Moving up and down, in circles, alternating, and he left Sasuke sobbing in desire.

It was too much, but so wonderful. Mind numbing bliss and Sasuke could no longer feel his limbs, he could only lay there writhing. He didn't think, his mind shut down from contemplating thought while his mouth unconsciously let out whimpering sounds of delight.

Naruto had then completely lost himself, relinquishing control in abandon to the animalistic senses. His hips ramming, unrelenting. While Sasuke beneath him was in awe at the power of his movements. Eyes wide, mouth open, almost becoming disorientated.

Then something happened, in the midst of it all, Sasuke became unaware of reality and felt himself falling mentally. Everything stopped. And they both were scared at the intensity. It seemed all around them became white, too much had been in intake. They both felt the overdose. The world transferred to slow motion, and nothing around them was familiar. Too unaware to understand the panic, they held tight to each other. Eyes closing in sequence. They remained while nothing else did.

While this existence continued to fade into black, Naruto whispered with the anxiety pressing, 'Don't leave, Sasuke.'

Something seemed to break inside of him. That's the last he felt while he succumb to the blackness.


The sunlight is what Sasuke awoke to. Piercing through his thin eyelids, he acknowledged the annoyance and gave in, welcoming the return of consciousness. Stretching the sleep away, he had noticed the crusted over mess on his body, and where he was laying, instantly feeling dirty and the need to shower. He chose to not, instead changing the focus of his eyes to the right where Naruto lay next to him on the bed. He was on his side, facing the opposite direction from Sasuke's view, still in the state of sleep, and Sasuke suddenly then remembered and took a moment to analyze the night before.

He recalled the darkness that enveloped the both of them right before the end of it all. Not being able to find a meaning behind it, he wanted to classify it as an over-worked black out. Though, he had never experienced one during sex before, and he doubted it was from overexertion or the intensity of climax, but he was at a loss for what had caused it.

The blackness brought with it an overwhelming suffocation and strain, but at the moment he lacked sufficient description, overcome with morning exhaustion. He left it alone.

Out of reflex, Sasuke felt the need to quickly get out of bed and make his disappearance, he knew now is where he had to make a decision.

Whenever he and Naruto met up, he always made sure to leave before the other awoke. Wanting to avoid any situation that might occur the morning after. There was nothing between them anyway. They wanted each other for sex, and that was fine. So there was no reason in staying. If he stayed it would only lead to unwanted words and memories. He'd rather not.

Yet… he recalled what Naruto had said.

Don't leave, Sasuke.

He felt his heart twinge, almost wincing. Never had he heard Naruto plead like that to him. Even when they were children. Naruto was always too egotistical, doing things forcefully, using actions. Those words had meant something more, hadn't they? He wondered if he should stay and find out. The better of him told him it was an idiotic plan to follow through with, but he couldn't stop the curiosity.

So he lay back down, ignoring everything else in distort. He'd wait. This one time only.

Quite sometime later, blue tired eyes did eventually open and reveal themselves to the day. Here, Sasuke remained still with his own eyes open, remaining mute as he continued to wait.

Naruto took his time, he had first stretched, elongating his figure, and then a quiet sigh was heard, seeming to queue motion as he slowly adjusted to lay on his back, half mast eyes blankly staring at the ceiling. And Sasuke unconsciously wished he could delve into that mind, but before he knew it, Naruto had noticed the weight that remained at his side, and with masked shock he turned his head, meeting those dark eyes with distress.

Naruto wondered why Sasuke was there, and thought something had to be wrong in order for Sasuke to stay. He didn't bother questioning in voice, he felt he already knew the answer. It wouldn't be welcomed and it would have been stupid of him to ask.

"Talk then." Those pale lips demanded quiet, yet blunt. And Naruto smiled. A small tilting of his mouth, that could have gone unnoticed with the little time it lasted.

Ah, yes, he remembered. Something he had said lest night? Something desperate sounding enough to draw Sasuke's attention so greatly. And he thought it a little strange, if it had been this easy the whole time, why hadn't he spoken sooner?

You mean too much to me… I can't speak, it would risk ruining everything.

But right now Sasuke was asking for his voice. As if searching for reason in all of the clutter that was their coexistence. He took a precious moment to collect his thoughts and words before he made a response, knowing that any sort of immaturities would not be tolerated. Sasuke was asking for a small sort of guidance, and it made Naruto feel more than of great importance. This. Right now. Was important.

"We're so eternally wrapped together, I just want to know something…" Naruto almost faltered, yet insisted in a quiet, exasperated tone. He felt his heart then pound with some sort of realization, and he just couldn't continue. He knew he no longer wanted the separation between himself and Sasuke, he'd be willing to throw his life away to just have him stay. He just couldn't find the words to show it, but he knew it was already long too late, in fact, they both knew that. So far away they were from each other, so doomed were both of their existences, that they're souls could never live entwined publicly. To Naruto, that seemed a fate worse than death and an eternity in hell.

This life destined them to be so miserable. So unable to escape, yet unable to connect. It was wrong at either ends, for they could never have one another nor could they leave each other. He felt suffocated, his throat physically starting to constrict. He just… couldn't.

None of this was new, of course, so why was it hitting him so hard at this moment?

And he realized something else, the more they took time away for each other, escaping their natural enemy likeness to become intimate, was just making things worse and worse. Every time the night ended, Naruto would pray to not fall asleep, for he knew Sasuke would not be there in the morning. And each time they separated, the weight on his heart grew greater. If he could just escape all together, to never see Sasuke again except in battle with intentions to end each other's lives, then maybe the feeling of this eternal sadness his heart suffered would eventually become numb. Maybe in time they could just stop remembering. Remembering the friendship they once had, the closeness they shared, and the secret something that almost could have been real. Maybe then, things would not hurt so bad, and these open wounds would close.

Because Naruto really, really couldn't take it anymore.

"Naruto?" The soft questioned name broke the threatening chain of thought. Naruto looked over to see those dark eyes, trying to find some sort of meaning, but was at a loss, his expression became sorrowful.

"Sasuke." For this one last time, Naruto reached his arm out to cup a pale cheek, instantly seeing no sort of emotional reaction from Sasuke from the soft gesture, besides a flash of a disgusted wince. That's not what he was hoping for.

He gave a small smile and pulled away, taking a deep breath, he shut his eyes and reopened them with a sigh of foreboding. He didn't know if he could do this, he was never the one to turn his back on Sasuke, that was Sasuke's job alone, and Naruto's job was to be the one who is supposed to coax the other back to him.

Now or never.

"Ya know, Sasuke? I don't think we should do this anymore." It was said. Said as if it were a comment on the weather, like it didn't mean the end of everything that was them. The end of what they held on to.

And Sasuke was confused at this. Not do… what anymore? His eyes closed to slits in question, his mouth in a small frown, because he honestly didn't understand. There was no way in hell Naruto was saying what he just did. It had to mean something else… right?

Sasuke became extremely interested, turning onto his side and rising himself up to rest on his elbow. He gazed down onto Naruto's face with a demanding expression and anger rising.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke's voice was sharp, leaving no room for bull-shit.

Naruto met his eyes, and almost had to contain a chuckle. So, did this mean Sasuke actually cared? He was so sure that he would remain stoic with that mask that did so well at hiding everything he actually felt. He knew Sasuke never liked to show that his words effected him, he liked to act as if everything Naruto said was just a leaf in the wind. But you can't hide from me now, Sasuke.

Naruto adjusted himself, pushing his arms off the bed behind him to an up right position, and then he looked over to Sasuke. He wanted to smile at him. Because there Sasuke was, actually showing signs of bitterness and betrayal at only one sentence from his mouth. It just proved something, maybe how strong their connection actually was. Despite denying it to the end, they both knew that they couldn't be like they were with each other with anybody else. Neither of them wanted to lose that, but Naruto knew that despite that, their togetherness just tore them more and more apart.

So ironic.

"Yeah. I don't think we should see each other like this anymore." Naruto tried to stay calm, and he did, externally, but he could feel it, inside… he was breaking. He looked to the ceiling, feeling all of a sudden very unsure. "I kind of… hate it." I'm sorry, I have to lie to you.

The reaction from Sasuke was instant. His anger igniting in a flash right before him. Quickly sitting up to face Naruto. Well, he wondered what part Naruto hated so much? The part where he lays down to submit his entire body for him? Surrendering to him and letting him have his way? Or maybe the part where he moans and begs for him? He could not believe what he just heard from Naruto's mouth. That sick, arrogant son of a bitch! He was so angry he could tear the skin right off that fucking whiskered cheek!

"Oh, you should have told me how much you hated it," Sasuke bit off in a spiteful tone, sounding about ready to punch Naruto in the face. "I would have stopped coming to see you long ago in order to ease your suffering!" He was now practically snarling with rage. Hastily grabbing a blanket to wrap around himself, Sasuke threw the rest of the covers off and quickly made a move to head for the bathroom, picking up his various articles of clothing around the room on the way there.

The door was closed with a loud slam, it seemed to silence the rest of the room with the force and rage behind it.

Naruto closed his eyes, and let out a breath. This situation didn't seem to be hitting him as hard as it should have been. It was only just teetering on the edge of his heart, but he knew the full force of it would bestow itself upon him soon. He anticipated the coming with fear.

Despite himself, Naruto knew it would be a wise choice to leave now, he heard the sound of running water beginning to come from the bathroom, and if Sasuke was in the shower then Naruto had plenty of time to gather his things and leave. If he really wanted to put an end to this, his leaving would finalize it. He knew Sasuke wouldn't come after him, that was a fact. Sasuke just wasn't like that, and if Naruto were never to pursue him again, then it would be the end. No matter how much they would long for each other, neither of them would seek the other out.

But he couldn't just leave silently, he cared too much to do so. Besides, Sasuke was the only person that Naruto put before himself, he knew he couldn't just leave without any words said. That would be beneath him. That would be cowardly. He had to let Sasuke know the truth of his leave. Maybe then he would understand, hell, he might even feel the same.

And that was when the idea hit him, and Naruto then rose out of bed with purpose. Quickly gathering his clothing in preparation for his leave, while his eyes were continuously drawn to the bathroom door with a yearning anticipation. He was sure this was the best thing for the both of them, so sure…

Sorry… Sasuke.


When Sasuke opened the bathroom door, he had an awaiting feeling of apprehension. There was this sensation in his gut filled with abandonment and he had assumed Naruto had left, but desperately hoped it wasn't true. Upon his complete withdrawal, Sasuke had a good view of the very empty, hollow looking hotel room. Instantly feeling a welling of forsaken desertion, and he then squeezed his eyes shut, all of a sudden feeling very tired. Very alone.

Taking a harsh intake of hair through his nose, Sasuke reopened his eyes, a heavy sigh of defeat leaving through his mouth. He gripped the towel around his midsection with grief and further exited the entry way to the bathroom, beginning to walk towards the bed they had shared the night before, realizing that the sheets and bedspread were fixed and clean, and dismissing it as Naruto's doing.

When reaching the edge of the bed, something immediately caught Sasuke's attention. A folded white piece of paper laying innocently, and very noticeably right in the middle of the top of the comforter. Sasuke felt a spring of hope rise in his throat, and his curiosity grew. Almost hesitantly, he reached out for the note, taking it into his hand, he flipped the piece of paper open and his eyes hurriedly scanned through the words, taking in every meaning behind them. He felt something rise in his heart, something very terrible ridden with gloom.

Sasuke,

When I said I hated it earlier, I wasn't lying. You may have misinterpreted the meaning wrong, but it was the truth. I hate feeling your leave linger within my soul whenever we part from each other, I can never let the sorrow I feel go, and it continues to fester like a bad unattended injury. If you could just stay by my side forever, things would be different. But the situation you and I are in is unfortunately so deep it's unbreakable.

I've tried so many times, Sasuke. To show you how much I'd be willing to throw away everything for you if you were to just come back to me. I've cut out my heart and soul and offered it to you on many different occasions, but all you do is give me a confused stare and turn away.

And that's what I hate, that's what I can no longer take. You mean so much to me, that I have to let you go. I guess life is very, very cruel, because I won't ever stop caring for you more than I care for myself.

I'm sorry,

Naruto

And that was that. A letter to open the end. Never had Sasuke felt more alone, and it shot through him like a drug.

Sasuke knew he was prone to abandonment by the way he lived his life, and he guessed sooner or later everyone eventually gave up on him. He supposed this shouldn't be a surprise, in fact, it should be expected. But he knew these dejections were cutting him. Each and every time, so deep and unforgivably hard, he couldn't keep putting bandages over these wounds to hide them. He couldn't keep wearing a mask.

And Sasuke suddenly became overly aware of the fact that this was it. Naruto was the last person who had tried, the person he thought would never give up on him. And here it was - the end. It hit him hard, and he'd never felt so lost at such an awakening of understanding. This failure, the never ending melancholic misery. He realized he took too long. Way too long to say his apologies, and it was too late to accept Naruto's offer of escape.

Never in his life has he felt so close to weeping, yet screaming out his desolation.

Where was Naruto now? Would he truly never come back to him? He was beyond this confusion. At a loss at whether to finally give in, embrace the emptiness and use that to vent more anger, destruction, and vengeance. Or come open to surrender, admit that the loneliness was still piercing him, as he bled everywhere he walked, and ask for the forgiveness he no longer deserved.

He wasn't sure. So undecided it was breaking him even further. Why couldn't things just stay the same? Why did it have to come to this? Life was becoming more and more difficult to live and bear with, he just wished things could be fixed.

Maybe he saw this coming all along.

And Sasuke felt that suffocation again. His mind becoming absolutely numb to all the blind confusion and grief, draining him completely. The room before him started to spin, and he dropped to his knees in absolute welcoming of the blackness.

His visions became blurred and fuzzy, and he knew he could no longer handle it.

Sasuke just wished, for one last time - just, please, one more time only - Naruto would come to save him.

His head hit the floor with a dull sounding thump.

I told you I'd always be there to catch you, Sasuke...

-x

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