Puck's with the glee club when the nominees for Prom King and Queen are announced, and it's almost scary how quickly the room falls silent under Quinn's barked orders. He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, because he really could not give a fuck about any of this. It's funny then, when his name is the first one that's read out, and he snorts loudly, his eyes snapping open. Honestly, this shit is fucking stupid. Is he really supposed to care about a plastic crown? Like he'd ever wear one of those things anyway. He's hot enough to pull it off, but he'd feel like a goddamn idiot. It's only guys like Finn who care about that sort of stuff.

Mercedes seems to be thinking the same thing, and lets out a hysterical cackle of laughter, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder. He grins at the girl, because yeah, he can't imagine himself as Prom King either. Finn and Sam both look at him as though he's personally offended them, but he doesn't really give a fuck, if he's being honest. Their names are called out next, and he hopes one of them win, seriously, because he sure as fuck doesn't want to. There's another nominee, some jackass on the hockey team, and then Figgins moves on to the list of girls who are nominated for queen.

Quinn's name is called first, like it's any surprise, and the blond legit squeals and tosses her hair back. She lets out a relieved, flattered-sounding laugh (it's so obviously been rehearsed) and lets Finn sweep her up into his arms. Puck notices Rachel watching them with an unreadable expression on her face, and he kicks the back of her chair, just to be annoying. She glares at him and he winks.

Santana and Brittany's names are called next. Brittany's beaming and Santana is rolling her eyes but she's wearing a smile too. Fuck. What is it about tiaras that make girls all crazy and stuff? He seriously doesn't get the appeal.

And then Rachel's name is called. Rachel Berry. And there's silence in the room because what?

Puck watches as a slow, emotional smile spreads over Rachel's face, and he realizes that she doesn't understand that she's probably been nominated as a complete joke. Santana is smirking and he raises an eyebrow at her, but the Latina simply shrugs and shakes her head. Quinn looks horrified.

"You guys, did you nominate me?" Rachel asks her hand flying to her heart, and nobody really wants to answer, because no, they didn't. Puck didn't even vote at all. But shit, if Rachel realizes that someone's just trying to embarrass her then that shit would be like seeing a puppy get kicked. So he shrugs.

"Yeah, we did." He says sounding bored, and he feels everyone's eyes on him. He turns to look behind him, glaring at Mike and Tina. "Right?"

"Yeah!" Mike chimes in, flashing a smile. Tina nods along with him, and slowly the rest of the Glee club join in, with the exception of Quinn and Santana, who look murderous, and Brittany who is reading an upside-down songbook.

So he cares. They're friends. Whatever.

Rachel looks like she's about to burst into some sort of acceptance speech, and he kicks her chair again as she opens her mouth to speak. "Shut up."

She does. But she smiles for the rest of rehearsal.

… … …

The girl campaigns fiercely for the title. Fuck, she even gets customized pencils made and puts them in everyone's locker. It's one of the lamest things ever, especially because they're pink and have her name on them with stupid little stars, but she catches him using one because he forgot a pen and she legit beams at him as though he's just handed her a fucking Tony, or something.

Quinn seems to think she's a real threat, and although she's been acting super-nice to everyone, he knows that she's been bitching about Rachel behind her back. Still, when the blond sees how hard Rachel is campaigning, she turns it up a little and gets candy bars made with her fucking face on the wrapper. He takes like, fifteen because they're good, but seriously, this shit is stupid.

Brittany asks him if she could give out birds as freebies. Santana gives mix CDs. Finn gives all the girls his Prince Charming smile, and Sam hands out buttons and ends up performing Justin Bieber songs at lunch. The other nominated dude managed to get his face printed on the cups by the slushie machine, and it totally puts Puck off drinking slushies. And the fucked-up part is, people actually seem to care about this stuff. He thinks the whole school has gone insane.

… … …

One lunchtime, five days before prom, Rachel sets up a baked goods stall in the cafeteria. Everything's free, and he shoves past the kids in line to be first.

He grabs one of the stupid pink paper plates and starts piling up the brownies, paying no attention to Rachel's disapproving stare.

"You're only supposed to take one," She pouts at him, and he shrugs, grabbing a couple of cookies too.

"M'hungry," He says, finally putting a stupid pink cupcake on the plate too. "M'a growing boy."

She smiles a little, handing him a napkin which he ignores. "Will you vote for me?"

"Yeah, why not?" He says and she claps her hands together excitedly before shooing him out of the line.

He's almost finished with his cookies when he sees it. About five Cheerios approach the table and he sees her smile at them warmly, before offering them a plate. He sees one of them rip her stupid home-made sign, and he sees five slushies being tossed at her, showering her and all of her baking in blue ice. He sees Rachel gasp as the cold hits her skin, sees her blink confusedly, before wiping her face and quickly running away from the stall. He sees the cheerleaders laughing and fuck. He needs her to win, okay? Or at least to get some votes so that she knows she's not completely hated. It kind of sucks when she's sad.

… … …

He corners Jewfro after school that day, and backs him up against his locker. The freak looks terrified, and Puck loves the power he has over the dude.

"You're going to prom, and you and your lame little friends are gonna vote for Rachel, got it? And you'll do what I tell you to do or I will run you over with my truck."

Jewfro noticeably gulps and nods hastily, and Puck smirks, steals his candy bar, and walks away.

"Remember, vote Rachel," He calls over his shoulder, his tone a lot friendlier. "Spread the word."

… … …

He hits up the girls next, catching sight of a group of freshman on the bleachers during football practice. During his break, he heads over to the bleachers and takes a seat next to them, wrapping his arm around the two closest girls. They look like they're about to explode and he smirks, knowing that fuck yeah, every girl at this school wants him.

"Ladies," He says charmingly, and a redhead giggles into her hand. He winks at her and she lets out an uncontrollable whimper. "How's it going?"

"Good," They all murmur quietly, cheeks red. He leans closer as if he's about to share a secret, and they copy his actions, hanging on his every word.

"Listen, I'm gonna need you guys to do me a favor, is that cool?"

The girls nod eagerly, wide smiles on their faces.

"I'mma need you guys to vote for Rachel Berry as Prom Queen. I know, I know, she's not as cool as the others and she's kind of insane, but can you just do it? And like, tell your friends and shit."

The girls look at each other, surprised. Whatever question they were expecting, that wasn't it.

"What's in it for us?" A girl with blond hair and braces asks, obviously trying to be flirty. "If we do this for you, what could you do for us?"

Puck raises one eyebrow. "What d'ya want?"

"Your phone number."

Puck chuckles and puts his hand out for her phone. She grins and hands it over, and he quickly types in Finn's number. Whatever, these girls are hot and stuff, but he does not want them texting him all the time. Besides, Finn's just as much of a chick-magnet as he is, despite the fact that he's kind of an idiot and he trips over his own feet a lot. He's sure that these girls won't mind.

"We got a deal?" He asks, throwing the phone in the air and catching it. The girls nod their agreement, and he grins, handing the phone back and standing up.

"Thanks, ladies. See you around."

"We're voting for you, by the way!"

Well, shit. He's not even campaigning and everyone still loves him.

… … …

"I heard that you've been campaigning for me."

Puck's at his locker when he feels a pair of small arms snake themselves around his waist. He turns on the spot and finds himself smirking down at a pair of huge brown eyes.

"Yeah, so?"

Rachel simply shakes her head, her smile big and bright. "You know, for a self-proclaimed badass, you're actually very sweet."

Puck rolls his eyes and untangles himself from Rachel's arms. "Nah, I'm tough and cruel."

"Only sometimes," Rachel says with a giggle, and it's enough to make Puck grin. "Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. I didn't really expect anyone to help me out with this, especially not you. I mean, you said that you didn't care about this stuff."

"I don't. It's all bullshit."

She eyes him skeptically and closes his locker before linking her arm through his. Together, they walk towards the rehearsal room at a slow pace.

"Then why are you helping?"

"Just am. Shut up."

… … …

The next morning, the hallways of William McKinley are plastered with huge-ass, glossy-colored posters of his face, and the words "Pick Puck for Prom King" printed in purple lettering. He's fucking horrified.
He doesn't need to think twice about who's behind this, and he heads straight for her locker, ignoring the hushed whispers and giggles that follow him.

Rachel claps her hands together the second she sees him, and starts gushing before he can even open his mouth.

"Good morning, Noah! Do you like your posters? It took me an hour to design them and I used up all of the ink for the printer, but I think they turned out fabulous! I'm very pleased with the effect and I really think it will help your seemingly non-existant campaign. If you'd like, tomorrow I could help you make some baked goods to hand out to our classmates."

Puck stares at her, slowly rubbing his temple. He can only manage one word. "Why?"

She beams. "Well, you're helping me so it's only fair that I help you too!"

She says it so fucking cutely that he can only nod, and he waits until she's walked away before he rips a random poster from the wall and throws it in the trash.
Why does no-one seem to understand that he doesn't want to win this thing?

… … …

Puck doesn't bother buying a tux for prom. He uses the suit he wore to some funeral and buys new black Converse instead of some fancy shoes. He doesn't take a date because he doesn't want one (well he kind of does but she's randomly announced that she'll be attending with Sam and it strangely pisses him off), but he does bring a couple of miniature bottles of whiskey, which he hides in his pocket. He thinks he'll need booze to survive this suck-fest.

He enters the hall with a roll of his eyes, because seriously, the balloons and streamers are just plain tacky. And the archway? Lame. But whatever.

And then he sees Rachel and fuck, he's glad he came. The red dress she's wearing is backless and low-cut, and she looks fucking stunning with her hair all pinned back and curly and shit. She catches sight of him and waves eagerly, and Sam looks up from the table to nod him over, gesturing to the empty seat they've obviously saved for him.

"Sup," He greets them, his eyes on Rachel. He whistles slowly, because she looks even better up close. "Looking good."

She blushes a little but smiles hugely. "Thank you. You clean up well too, Noah."

The three of them make small talk and then Mercedes and Kurt arrive, and Rachel is immediately dragged towards the dancefloor. Puck takes advantage of the alone time with Sam, and puts on his most threatening expression.

"Dude, if you-"

Sam rolls his eyes, and holds up his hand to interrupt. "S'cool, man. I'm not into Rachel. I'm still into Quinn, but she's with Hudson and Rachel and I both needed a date. So whatever, you can have her."

Puck glares. "What makes you think-"

He scoffs. "Besides the fact that you're trying to help her win Prom Queen?"

Shit. He never thought about it like that.

Makes sense though.

He looks over to where Kurt is spinning her around and he raises his eyebrows. She's laughing, her hand covering her mouth like it always does because she's self-conscious, and yeah. He totally likes her. Where did that even come from?

… … …

Quinn wins Prom Queen, and her acceptance speech lasts for like, ten years. Puck watches as the disappointment flashes across Rachel's face for a brief moment, before she smiles. It turns out that she got runner-up.

He feels totally responsible and it's a good feeling. Y'know, considering she was originally nominated as a joke and all. He's not gonna tell her that though.

Anyway, he's sitting next to her, making fun of Quinn's speech in her ear, and she's giggling under her breath, and then his name is called because he's just won fucking Prom King.

He resists the urge to roll his eyes as the spotlight lands on him, and Finn looks completely confused, and Quinn is glaring at him like it's his fault that Finn isn't king, and Rachel is laughing and clapping, all happy and shit.

Reluctantly, Puck pulls himself up off his chair and makes his way to the stage, where Figgins hands him this lame-ass crown. He has no intention of wearing it, but Quinn is wearing a massive fake-smile and she practically grabs it out of his hands and forces it onto his head, hissing into his ear as she does so.

"You're gonna dance with me and you're gonna look like you're having a good time. This will be in the yearbook and I want my kids to be proud when they look through it one day."

Puck pulls away, the crown fucking digging into his skull, and steps towards the microphone with an awkward shrug.

"Yeah, uh, thanks."

And then the music is starting and Quinn is dragging him to the dance floor, and this is his idea of torture.

… … …

"Congratulations, Noah." Rachel says later, flashing him a smile. The prom is dying down, and the band is playing slower, more relaxing songs. He's leaning against the wall at the back of the room, watching Brittany waltz Santana around playfully, pushing past Karofsky as they do so.

"Whatever. I don't really care," He replies honestly, swinging the crown around on his index finger. "It's kind of lame."

"Yes, well, to some people it's a big deal," Rachel says lightly, smiling up at him. "I got runner-up thanks to you. I owe you one, Puckerman."

He grins down at her. "Some more of those cookies you made would be awesome."

She laughs. "Done."

They stand in silence for a few moments, both watching Finn and Quinn share a kiss on the middle of the dance floor. Puck nudges Rachel, and she looks up at him with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"You okay with it?" He asks, knowing that he doesn't have to tell her what he's referring to.

Rachel nods. "Yes. In all honesty, I'm over Finn. I'm tired of the waiting and pining. It's not me. I'm supposed to be strong, and independent, and determined, and..." She trails off with a sigh, but she's smiling. "I'm tired of competing with Quinn too. She wins everything. Still, I'll be the one winning a Tony one day, and I'd rather have that than a plastic tiara."

Puck laughs at that, and places his crown carefully on Rachel's head. It's a little too big, because fuck, she's the size of a midget, but it looks cute, and she looks fucking ecstatic.

"Keep it." Is all he says, running a hand over his mohawk. "You can have a crown and the Tony."

She laughs and stands on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. It's not really good enough for him though, and Puck quickly tilts her chin so that her lips press against his instead. Rachel quickly pulls back, eyeing him carefully.
"What was that?" She whispers, touching her lips, and Puck grins.

"Wanted to kiss you, is all."

"Oh." There's a brief pause before a small smile spreads over Rachel's face. "Can we do it again?"

Puck chuckles lowly. "You're Prom King now. You can do whatever the fuck you want."

So she does.