CHAPTER I: The Plan

"I've had it with this cursed bandicoot! He has thwarted my plans for the last time!" Dr. Cortex said slamming his fist on the table.

"He always seems to outsmart ya," Dingdile replied with his thick Australian accent.

"What are you trying to say, Dingodile? Are you saying that illiterate, dimwitted, ignorant fool- I hope I'm not offending you when I say this, Evil Crash" he said glancing at the crimson bandicoot who glared at him from his cage. "But you're saying that abomination has higher intelligence than me?" he asked.

Dr. Cortex, Nina, Tiny, N-Gin, Ripper Roo, Evil Crash, Uka uka, and Dingodile were in a secret hideout thinking of ways to rid themselves of Crash Bandicoot.

"If he's so stupid then why can't you destroy him?" Uka uka challenged.

"I've never heard of a scientist that's dumber than their creation," Nina commented.

"The orange rat don't need brains to stop him. Cortex's just screwing himself when he threatens Crash," Dingodile inquired and Ripper Roo erupted with his contagious cackling.

"Well have any of you done better? Everyone in this room has attempted to annihilate crash bandicoot and we've only resulted in failure!" Cortex snapped. He then sat back in his chair and messaged his temples. "Dr. Cortex, together we should-," N-Gin began. "I'm trying to think," Cortex interrupted him. "I know but, if you're of thinking of a plan to destroy Crash then I think we all should-," N-Gin began again. "No one cares about what you think, you twit!" Cortex growled. "I think the bloke's tryna' say we should all join together and double team em'," suggested Dingodlie.

"But Tiny only count… one… two… three… four… five… six… seven of us," Tiny said attempting to count.

"You forgot to count yourself, Tiny. But with that many of us we should able to bring down Crash Bandicoot!" Cortex said confidently. "But why didn't we think of this before?" he asked.

"Because as evil villains we hate everything and everyone… including each other," Nina answered.

"That's some niece of yours Cortex. Why can't you be more like her?" Uka uka stated.

"Nina has been taught her evil ways by the best there is! She's learned the true meaning of...hatred," Dr. Cortex said tears in his eyes. Nina replied with a glare at her uncle. "I'm so proud of you," Dr. Cortex sniffled.

"What a dysfunctional family!" Dingodile grumbled.

"We're getting off topic! We nee to think of a plan," Uka uka said sternly.

"What do we need to plan? All we gotta' do is just corner the orange rat and roast him like turkey!" Dingodile stated.

"No that'll be a totally pointless. We'll only be wasting our energy. We should take turns attacking him one by one and weakening him… make him suffer!" Nina said smirking evilly.

"We must be alert of his friends. Crash has always had help when dealing with us before. We should get them out of the way first," N-Gin suggested.

"Bandicoot friends…," Tiny mumbled. "Tiny destroy Crunch!" He hit his fist against the table creating a large hole in it, then clenched his fist causing sharp claws to bore into his skin, and made himself bleed. He didn't seem to care, though, he was busy thinking of his hatred for Crunch bandicoot.

"Hey now Tiny let's not let our hatred get the best of us," Cortex said calmly. "Take it out on that traitor!" he snapped remembering how Crunch betrayed him. "And I thought I had issues!" Ripper Roo said through his maniacal laughing.

"Why is it that my creations always seem to betray me?" Cortex asked himself.

"No matter… At least I still have two of my very first failures!" he said sarcastically looking at Evil Crash and Ripper Roo. "You won't betray your daddy now will you?" Cortex said in baby voice to Evil Crash. The bandicoot responded with a snarl. "Hmm I'm not so sure about him yet. It seems if he gets the chance he'll slit my throat in my sleep," Cortex mumbled doubtingly.

"Ripper Roo you wouldn't turn on me, right?" Cortex asked.

"When I regain my sanity!" Ripper roo replied cackling.

"Ah, yes… Like that'll happen," Cortex scoffed.

"We'll see," Ripper Roo said. This time he wasn't laughing. He actually spoke normal English and his voice made a chill go down everyone's spine. Even though he spoke normally, he still sounded mad and truly evil. All eyes were on Ripper Roo and his eyes were locked on Dr. Cortex. There was a moment of silence as tension grew in the air.

Finally Ripper Roo broke the silence.

"HA! You thought I was serious! You all should have seen the look on your faces!" Ripper Roo giggled with his insane but usual cacking. Then everyone joins him in laughter except Cortex.

"Now that's just plain evil!," Uka uka compliments.

"Yeah. Even I wouldn't be able to pull that off!" Nina said.

"Shouldn't we focusing on how we're going to repay Crash and his allies instead of thinking of ways to betray me?" Cortex said nervously.

"Tiny never betray Cortex!" Tiny said loyally.

"At least someone has some sense at this table!" Cortex stated.

This is gonna' some barbeque! Dingodile thought to himself.