A/N- Once again, thank you so much for all your reviews, I am glad that you're into this story. Some of you were asking me about The Alimony in Addison and Derek's divorce, when a divorce is granted, either party may ask for post-marital alimony. It is not an absolute right, but may be granted, which means one of the parties would have to ask for it. Since I think Addison is wealthy enough, I don't think she would ask an alimony from Derek, she would only fight for the propierties that belonged to both of them.
This chapter is named after a Celine Dion song "It's all coming back to me now" it's a little longer than the others. I hope you enjoy it.
Since the moment Addison Montgomery-Shepherd left Seattle, she knew that it wasn't her smartest decision. She was walking away, this was Derek's thing, when things got complicated on their marriage he walked away from their problems, it's what he did best. But now that they're officially divorced, she was the one walking away. She was conscious that it wasn't fair for the baby growing inside of her and not even for Derek, he deserved to know that he would be a father in few months but for Addison, if she would tell him anything he might choose her once again only because of the baby and she wasn't just able to resist being an obligation to her now ex-husband again. She would have to tell him at some point, probably the baby will be a mini-Derek and she would be forced to face it. But now, the only clear thought on her mind was walk away from Seattle, walk away from Derek and from all the drama in the Seattle Grace, knowing that if she stayed there she wouldn't be only Satan; she would be the adulterous bitch who would be forcing McDreamy to stay with her with a McBaby.
So she decided to leave, in one night she packed the few things she had on her office and all of the things she had in her hotel. She thought that she would feel better because of her decision but it only made her feel worse, not physically but emotional, not mentioning that the hormones caused by the pregnancy wasn't helping her through this. She packed everything, her cloths, her uncountable pair of shoes and even some stuff that belonged to Derek that she didn't know what to do with them. While she was almost ready to go and waiting for the room-service guy to help her with her luggage, Mark showed up on her room as he usually did every night.
"So, the nightmare is finally over, red! Congratulations!" He walked to the room with a huge smile on his face and with a bottle of red wine on his hand knowing it was Addison's favorite and two glasses, thinking they could make a toast, get drunk and that he might get lucky since Addison had been shouting him down every night since the trial started, now that it was over they might get to do what they're best for. But Mark's smile suddenly went away when he saw the suitcases on the floor "Wait, what is happening in here? Did I miss something? Did Derek tell you to leave? Because if he did I swear I'd kill him, he's not your husband anymore, you don't have to listen to him…" Mark started but Addison interrupted him before he continued
"No, this isn't because of Derek. This is because of me. I can't stay here, I can't just stay here and see another woman getting everything I wanted from the man I love, I am not strong enough to stand there and enjoy Derek and Meredith's happiness all over the place. This trial took almost all my strength, this is the best I can do and whatever you are gonna try to say, it's not gonna make change my mind" Mark looked down while Addison was speaking and simply nodded.
"Do you realize I moved here because of you, right? I thought it was more than a booty call, I thought once you and Derek were finally divorced you and I might try something, you know?" Mark said looking a bit disappointed and Addison just sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed.
"I am sorry, Mark. I really am, it's just that... It's been a lot during this year for me and even for you. Besides we tried to work out as a couple and we both know it didn't end up so well. Here in Seattle you're like this Plastic God and you're gonna be really good in here, you don't need me" Addison said looking at the bottle of wine on Mark's hand. She would love to have at least one single drink of that bottle, but she knew she couldn't so she would just torture herself watching it
"What if I do need you?" Mark insisted as he sat next to her stroking her thigh
"Mark, I am going, okay? I need a new life that doesn't include anyone of my life in New York and the mistakes I've done, and that includes you. Derek's here, you should just talk to him after all he's your best friend, your friendship was something really strong and you shouldn't let loose that, besides I know that he really needs you in this moment, he needs his best friend and I can't take that away from him"
Mark didn't say a word, he looked down for a moment and then looked at Addison right in the eyes.
"Look, it's okay. I've already told you, because we failed as a couple it doesn't mean we can still be friends"
"With benefits?" He teased smiling her, he knew that things were complicated in Addison's life at the moment so he would just agree with her even though he didn't want her to go but it was what she wanted.
"Don't push it, Manwhore" Before Mark could answer the room-service guy arrived and took Addison's suitcases to take them to the lobby.
"At least can I ask where are you going? I heard you've got the brownstone, if so I wanna get my bike back, I left it there, remember?"
"Yeah, well you should get a new bike, I can assure you, I am not going back to New York, too many memories" Actually, New York was Addison's first thought, it was easier to be there. But as she was telling Mark, they were too many memories, every place in that city, brought her memories of her and Derek and how their marriage started to fall apart, she couldn't just go back there. "When my divorce started, I talked to Sam and Naomi, the offered me a position in their practice and I know I am not used to work like that but I could really use a change, I need this change for my own good and for my ba.." She stopped talking knowing that it was too much information already "I just need change things in my life since the way I've been doing didn't turn our pretty well" She smiled once again and kissed Mark on his cheek. "Take care, Manwhore" Without saying anything else, she walked off the room and few minutes later she left the hotel and went straight to the airport to take the first plane out to Los Angeles.
She knew Mark was right, working in a Private Practice wasn't her style of life. Being a double-board certified neonatal surgeon, she has always been working on a hospital performing surgery after surgery. Now in this Practice, luckily she would have a single patient during the day and she could really use this. Now that she would be a single mother, she could really use more free time that her very busy schedule in the hospital.
She couldn't stop thinking about Derek, for the first time in her adult life she was taking this huge step without him. This was definitely not how she planned having a baby with him, every time she pictured that image, things were a lot different than the reality she was living.
After few hours of flight, Addison arrived to LA, she went straight to a very nice hotel Naomi recommended her for Addison to stay until she finds a place to live. She took a long shower and got ready to go to the Practice and meet all of her new co-workers. While she was getting dressed, she couldn't help but seeing her belly in the mirror and even though she wasn't showing and the fact that there were a lot of reasons for her not wanting this, she smiled knowing that hers and Derek's baby was in there.
Meanwhile in Seattle, Derek arrived to the hospital without his particular McDreamy smile, actually he was very grumpy, since he just spent the night in some apartment he rented now that he had to sell his land and trailer. But this wasn't what was really bothering him, neither was the fact that he and Meredith broke up since he was starting to realize that all he always has wanted was Addison, only that his anger didn't let him look beyond that.
He was decided to talk to her and try to be civilized, so he went to the Neonatal area of the hospital trying to find his former wife, but what he didn't know was that Addison didn't work there anymore.
"Excuse me, have you seen the other Dr. Shepherd?" He gently asked one of the nurses wearing pink scrubs, that's how he had always recognized the persons who work with Addison.
The nurse looked at him surprised since she, just like every other nurse in the SGH, knew everything what happened between him and Addison. She was surprised that he was asking for Satan. "Uh.. She's not… Wait, you didn't know?"
Derek looked confused for the younger woman's answer, it wasn't a difficult question after all "What should I know? Can you tell me where she is or should I ask another person?" He asked again. He would page her but he knew that she wouldn't answer.
"Sorry, I just thought you knew since you two were… Well, you know… She left the hospital last night" The woman answered as Derek's expression was even more confused
"What do you mean that she left? Where is she?"
"I- I don't know Dr. Shepherd… All I know is that she left, she's not longer working here" The nurse's pager began to sound "See? We're meeting her replacement… I- uh- I have to go, Dr. Shepherd" The nurse ran his way out of the halls leaving Derek standing there.
He didn't know how to feel about this, normally an ex-husband would be relief if his ex-wife left the place where they worked together. But this sensation of guilty, sadness and even anger came to him, he was used to be with Addison, even now that their divorce is filled and complete, he thought she would always be around so he could see what he lost. But now she's not there he could help but have all this feelings coming back to him.
He immediately turned back and went to Richard's office. The older man was sat behind his desk apparently doing some paper work, he lifted his sight when he heard Derek was in there and took of his glasses.
"Where is she!" Derek shouted as he sat in front of him. Richard looked very calmed as usual and simply looked at him
"She must be working, you should ask Dr. Bailey, Meredith is her intern, not mine. Now is there anything you wanna tell me or you're just gonna be standing there for the rest of the day?" Richard said as his sight went back to his paperwork.
"You better than anyone know that, Meredith is not the she I am asking for!" He continued raising his voice, filled with anger and sadness.
"Addie? She left, she said she needed a change and she gave me a resignation letter. It's not your obligation to know about her anymore, so that's all I can tell you"
"Oh, you can't tell me? Right, this is how you work, first you hire my wife to work here without my knowledge, I don't know why would you tell me if she leaves. Thank you, Richard" Derek responded very sarcastically as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"She's not your wife anymore and I am really sorry but I can't tell you where is she… Please close the door in your way out"
At the same time, in LA, after meeting her co-workers and a very long talk, catching up with Naomi, she told her everything that she was going through. After spending almost a year on Seattle and have no one to talk to, Addison was actually enjoying having this conversation with her best friend.
"I can't believe you went through all of this, Addie. I should've call you more often, you know? To check on you and probably kick Derek's ass" Both women laughed for few seconds "Anyway, are you getting any prenatal care? Because you might not be telling Derek, which I think is really stupid, but I am not gonna let you go through this alone" Naomi told her friend trying to help her a little.
"It's okay, Nae. That was the best choice. And I haven't found an OB here in LA, I mean, I went to one in Seattle, he confirmed the pregnancy, made an ultrasound, then it was the trial and now here I am"
"Okay, then until you find an OB, I am doing the job and I'm not taking a 'no' as an answer, so If I were you, I would get up of that chair, come to the exam room and let me see how's your baby doing so I'd be familiar with him or her" With no much insistence, Addie agreed to have the ultrasound and get to see her baby, while she was going there and getting in the stirrups she couldn't help but remember when Derek and her actually talked about having babies and how much they wanted a family
FLASHBACK- NEW YORK, 1996
It's been now two years since Derek married Addison, they already had their Brownstone, they were in the middle of their residencies but they always find time to be with each other although they both had to be at the hospital almost all the time, they were Addison and Derek and they wouldn't let their very busy schedules would fall them apart.
This day, Derek was on-call all night long and he was going back home very tired where his wife was expecting him. Even when all he wanted was take a long bath and sleep until his pager started to sound again, he was actually looking forward to see his wife.
Once he got home, he called her name since the front door. He started looking everywhere down the house but he didn't get a response, he went upstairs and sighed relief when he saw his wife was sleeping covered with their Italian shits. He smiled a little and went to join her in bed, as soon as he got there, he embraced her and kissed her neck very softly. She started to open her eyes and met over his "Hey, you're home!" She said with a soft smile as she kissed him.
"I just got back, I'm sorry I woke you up… How are you, honey? Are you feeling better?" He asked a little worried since it's been almost a week now that he notices Addison different, like she would be sick.
"I am good, I could be better though" Addison confessed as Derek placed his hand on Addison's forehead but she didn't have fever or anything.
"Addie, I know we haven't actually talk about this but… Has it cross your mind that there's a tiny little chance that you might be pregnant?" He said smiling looking at his wife with his bright eyes.
Addison opened her eyes as much as she could, because she actually haven't thought about that, she was an OB resident, she should know about this "What? No, I mean, no… For starters, I've been taking my pill and…" Before she could continue Derek interrupted her
"You know those aren't a 100% sure" Addison just gave him a glance and continued "No, besides if I were pregnant I would have to be late and I remember my last period was…" She stopped talking and looked at Derek almost shocked "Oh my God"
Derek smiled and held his wife's hands "Are you okay with this, Addie? I mean, a baby? Us, being parents? Before you start talking I gotta tell you, since the moment I proposed you, I had this picture in my head of us and four kids running around us"
Addison couldn't help but laugh and raised an eyebrow "We are gonna have four kids?"
"Yes, we are. Two black-haired girls with my eyes and obviously your nose, which I am gonna spoil as long as I live and I am sure they would love to go shopping with you and other girl stuff, and two little redhead boys, I am so taking them to fish with me and I am sure they are gonna love you and won't ever complain about a trout" As Derek talked about their future children, Addison smiled the whole time feeling incredibly luck for marrying this guy who already has a future planned for them.
"Really? You thought all of it? And by the way, my children are obviously complaining about trout because they would hate it as much as I do"
Derek smiled and kissed his wife's forehead "We'll see…. All I want is that future with you, Addie. It's what I've always wanted and you're the only woman I want to share this… Look, I had the idea on my mind that there might be a little Addie or a Little Derek in there, so I stole two pregnancy tests from the hospital just in case you wanna know" He wasn't proud of saying that he stole this from the hospital but if the result was positive, the last thing he was gonna think was that he stole that.
"Okay then, let's do this… I do wanna find out! I mean, this could change our life, right? I mean, a baby! A baby made by you and me, this has to be good!" Addison answered a little excited, after listening the family Derek planned for them to have she could just wait for the time when they would start working on it and now there was a chance that the dream of Derek could start.
He went for the two sticks and gave them to Addison who now seemed a little nervous, she went to the bathroom and pee'd in both of them. After waiting the eternal five minutes it was time to see the results, but sadly for both of them, it was negative. Few tears ran through Addison's face as she showed Derek how their dream went away.
"Hey, it's okay, Addie" He said as he hugged his wife who was really excited because of everything he said about their kids and now the possibility was gone "We weren't even trying. This is gonna be really good, okay? We are gonna start trying until we have our baby, only because it didn't happen the first time, doesn't mean that we are gonna quit, remember? We're Derek and Addison…"
"And we don't quit…" She completed as she got lost on her husband's arms.
END OF FLASHBACK
"Addie, are you listening to me?" Naomi asked watching the image of the baby on the monitor, noticing something that might not be good, she had that concerned look on his face, the one the doctors always uses when there is something wrong. The same look Addison always use with their own patients
"I'm sorry…" Addie started to worry when she noticed Naomi concerned look "What happen, Nae? Is-Is there something wrong? Because the last time I checked everything was okay!" Addison was freaking out, acting like a patient who doesn't know anything about prenatal care, she was trying to read the ultrasound herself but her nervous were stronger than her knowledge "Naomi! Please tell me what happens to my baby! Is it okay?"
A/N- So, what do you think? You'll find out what happens to the baby in next chapter and yes, Derek will find out about his child very soon. Please review!