January 3rd, 2012

I still cannot accept the fact - the hard cold reality that both my parents died in a typical car accident, on my birthday, 27th December. I thought this was too cliché to be true. Having both your parents, no less, die on your birthday only happened in storybooks, was what I believed. I wonder if that makes me the tragic heroine in those fairytales.

Their funerals were rather like the usual ones I used to see at void decks from time to time. At that point of time, I was apathetic to who it was, where it was and when it was. After all, it did not concern me at all; I certainly was not part of it. Ludicrously, I was now the fool standing before the coffins.

Strangely, I could not bring myself to cry about their deaths. Yes, I was close to them; yes, I love them. Yet, as I stand amidst all the strangers who had surrounded me, sympathizing me and giving me condolences that I feel nothing for, I was just empty. I was not wailing nor crying whilst lamenting their deaths. I merely felt empty, stunned maybe slightly depressed. Perhaps the shock had not entirely sunk in yet, leaving me in a state of bewilderment or maybe I was just cold-blooded.

Come to think of it, a week has already passed from their deaths and my birthday. I must have looked like an utter fool, sitting at home and glancing occasionally at the clock, anticipating their arrival home eagerly and pondering what my cherished parents brought home for a birthday present. Would it be the new laptop I wanted? Or would it be a jewelry from mother and extra allowance from father? Now that recall these memories, I feel like a perfect twit for deliberating blithely about such trivial things while my parents were in the Emergency Room.

No use on dwelling on it too much, it will merely make me further depressed. I will now stop this diary entry.

January 5th, 2012

Two days have passed since my last entry. I have moved to Aunt Lily's abode, my new guardian. She is somewhat plump but she looks very kind and warm. Her face reflects her personality but she worries over me far too much. My new room is smaller than the one had but it will do.

I had a disturbing nightmare last night. I was facing a giant version of myself and surrounded by people I knew yet felt like utter strangers. They were all screaming and laughing at me, telling me that I was the lowest, the worst, worthless and many other things that I could not remember. I was terrified. I plugged my ears and tried to run away from it all. I cried out like a child, begging for help. No one came; they did not hear my pleas.

That was when I woke up, drenched in sweat, and feeling extremely distressed and fearful. Tears were trailing down for no reason whatsoever. It was scary. I felt as if I was being swallowed by the darkness and denied from the light. I hope it was due to the fact I have not yet fully adapted to my surroundings.

I kind of miss my parents right now but I should not desire them. To move on, I need to deny this sadness and be strong. Yet, why is it that the happy memories I used to have with them keep replaying in my mind?

January 6th, 2012

I have returned to school today and resumed my normal routines with slight changes. My classmates all heard about the tragedy I had undergone and kept attempting to force their opinions on me. Like, when I am smiling normally at something, they tell me that there was no need to fake the smile. When I look depressed due to another reason, they tell me "Can you manage a smile? ". It was very exasperating and ridiculous.

When I screamed "Just leave me alone and stop talking to me", they looked at me stunned, as if they just realised that I had murdered their family. They started saying things like they were just trying to help. All of them are hypocrites, causing me harm when they said that they wish for my well-being. I bet they wanted to mock me for not having parents anymore and derive pleasure from my wounds. Why am I friends with such sadistic creatures anyway?

The adults are just as bad. I expected them to understand me but no; they just had to keep asking whether I was fine and expected me to tell them any troubles I had. All I could do was to plug the ears in my heart and disregard them inside. How annoying and bothersome. All they did was to add fuel to the fire and madden me more.

However, despite all the trouble I underwent today, I found my silver lining in the clouds. I discovered an excellent way to empty myself. All I have to do is to stare at myself in the mirror and tell myself "It's okay" and I would be fine, somewhat emotionless and slightly sad which is a small price to pay to be empty. I hate being angry unnecessarily- it was stupid and besides, I did not enjoy feeling any emotions nowasay, even if it was happiness for it never came without a pang of guilt.

I wonder why I am crying as I write this.

January 16th, 2012

It has been so long since my last entry.

People who were friends have all become enemies. Teachers who were nice seem to become mean even if they did not show it openly. They all gossip about me, what they all say are mainly lies.

When I ask, "why the change" they tell me it was my fault for being anti-social, for being a hypocrite, for changing so much. They tell me that they understand that the tragedy was painful but there was not a need to vent it upon them.

What did I do? I was just trying to be myself as usual. Why did everything go wrong when I just want my peaceful and mundane life back?

Nothing seems to be working out for me anymore. Not even the mirror trick which I use to empty myself. In fact, the more I look at my image, the more it seems to be laughing at me. There was even a small voice in my head occasionally telling me that I was worthless and a waste of space.

My heart hurts. I feel as if someone was chipping away at my soul, tormenting me and causing agonizing pain. Why hasn't anyone come and save me…?

February 4th, 2012

I hate it. I hate it all.

I hate how my classmates stare at me like I was some freak. I hate it how they whisper behind my back. I hate it how the teachers keep pretending to be nice to me when their eyes despised me.

Yes, I resent it all.

A cursed voice in my head keeps telling me that I was rotten; scum, a wretched girl who should have died. My repulsive image in the mirror tells me that I was inferior to even a vermin; an idiot, a joke. They all tell me that the very fact I was born was a sin.

Despite all this jeering, I know that they are right. I was terrible, pathetic, a loser. A miserable excuse of a girl who should not existed. God made a mistake when He made me.

However, I knew the reason why I am repulsed at everything. It was because everything was so true, so true it hurt. After all, 'the truth always hurts', right?

I despise myself and disgusted at even why I'm living. After all, I am just an anti-social freak who is to cold-blooded to feel anything!

Perhaps the reason why I did not cry at my parent's death was because I was actually glad that they died. I must have thought it was divine retribution for neglecting me for work!

Yes, indeed, they deserved their deaths…

February 7th, 2012

Every single day is painful and they still continue on. Yesterday, today and undoubtedly, tomorrow will surely be arduous as well.

I am alone, insulted and humiliated daily without fail by what I used to call friends. What I want now is someone to stand by me; to support me. Yet, there are none.

I'm too tired, too tired to fight against this thing called reality. Carrying on the fight is just impossible.

Goodbye.

W h y . d i d n' t . a n y o n e . h e l p . m e ? . . .
I . w a n t . r e v e n g e . . .

On 7th February, a teenage girl at the age of 14 named Kagamine Rin died. Her reason of death was deemed to be suicide due to falling into depression, which was caused by her parent's death.

Strangely, many people who knew her suddenly started dying due to mysterious reasons. The only things they had in common was that they were all acquaintances of the deceased and had opened the diary that belonged to Kagamine Rin…

.

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August 31th, 2012

"Hey, look at this Luka! It seems like a diary. I wonder whose it is," Miku announced gaily, as she picked an exquisite aureolin notebook off the floor, excited at her discovery.

"Miku, you should not be flipping through other people's diary. It called an invasion of privacy." Luka sighed, staring at Miku with a reproaching look on her delicate face.

"I politely decline. Finders keepers, losers weepers; you know that rule. Plus, this seems to be the diary of that maddening urchin Kagamine Rin." Miku chortled with a smirk on her face. "She may be dead but her knowing her secrets should still be amusing."

"Rin's diary? Wait, wasn't her diary cursed or something? I read somewhere on the internet…Hey, what are you doing!"

Before Luka could protest, Miku shoved Rin's diary into her cinereous tote bag and ran home to read the diary, thus, sealing her fate.

The next day, Hatsune Miku was found dead, with her throat slit in the shape of an 'X' and a petrified expression on her face. The 'X' was as if someone had crossed her out, like how one would cross a wrong answer.

Once again, the murder was a mystery. No one could figure out how the victim died nor who the murderer was. The police could only speculate and eventually, deem it as another suicide.

.
.

Luka cried as she lay face down, sprawled on her bed. She sobbed into her cerise pillow, marring it's colour with tears and mucus.

'Why did Miku die?" was all Luka could asked herself. The question repeated itself through her head countless of times and yet, she could not even come close to an answer.

Suiciding was out of the question for an airhead like Miku would never commit suicide. So then, how did Miku die? Who had such serious grudge against Miku that there was a need to eradicate her existence?

'W o n' t . y o u . h e l p . m e . . . ?' An unearthly high-pitched, ethereal and transient plea edged with sorrow abruptly rang out in her head, shocking her out of her reverie.

"What was that?" Luka thought, disturbed and startled by the sudden cry." Whose voice was it?" Luka mused.

It sounded so bizarre, extremely familiar and remarkably despondent.

"I want to help her", was what Luka felt in response to the voice, being the virtuous lady she was. Yet at the same time, a bud of unease sprouted within her as if her instinct was warning her of an ominous occurence.

Suddenly, feeling a chill run down her spine, Luka desperately felt the urge to be comforted by a smiling picture of Miku to reminiscence some happy memories and hastily rummaged her tote bag, only to find something that left her dumbfounded.

Yes, indeed, as you may have guessed, what she found was the diary that belonged to Kagamine Rin.

She took the diary hesitantly out of her bag and stared at it, puzzled. What was it doing in her bag? Didn't Miku take it home with her?
"Maybe" Luka mused with a melancholic look upon her face, "instead of putting it her bag, she put it in mine for a prank."

Tears swelled in Luka's eyes once more as gazed at the elaborate notebook in her hands and their nostalgic happy memories flowed into her mind.

"So, Miku finally decided to be an obedient girl and listen to me." Luka thought with a slight smile on her lips.
"Then, perhaps I should listen to her now and be a bad girl for once as well." Luka whispered to herself, her voice sounding slightly impish. Wiping away the glistening tears on her flawless face with her sleeve, she proceeded by flipping through the cursed diary.

"Huh? What is this?"

Immediately, Luka was stupefied, for inside the diary was several short accounts of the deaths of several people. The accounts included why they deserved die, how they died and their feelings when they died.

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Death 1

Lily

Aunt Lily deserved to die because she did not shower enough care and concern on me, which was what she should have done as an adult. Died by swallowing a biscuit in the shape of an X. When she discovered that I was haunting her whilst she died, she was shocked and wanted to know 'why'. That witch, acting innocent when she should jolly well know the reason.

Death 2

Nekomura Iroha

Nekomura Iroha deserved to die as she abandoned me when I needed her. As a friend of mine, she should not have ditched me like that and leave me to suffer. Died by possessing her and silted both wrists in an X shape. I decided to allow her consciousness to stay awake whilst I controlled her body. She was screaming 'no' all the way in her mind to me and kept imploring me to stop what I was doing. Indeed, she was absolutely terrified. Consider this extra punishment for running out on me, wretch.

"What...What is this? Some are people I recognize that have just passed away. Prima, Sonika, Yuki, Miki, Gackupo… Plus, possession is impossible! This is reality, there can be no such thing like possession. They are all part of fiction…isn't it?"

Numerous thoughts flowed through Luka's mind, unbelieving of what she had just read until she saw the last account.

.

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Death 31

Hatsune Miku

Hatsune Miku deserved to die. She spread rumours and gossips about me all over school. She utterly defamed me and was one of the people who gave me a bad reputation. What a scandalizer. I killed her by manipulating her penknife and slashing her throat in the form of an 'X'. What a panic-stricken girl she was. Begging me for mercy whilst literally bawling; of course, no mercy will be given like how she did not spare my reputation any.

"This cannot be real, it is absolutely absurd. Even someone like Rin would not kill so many of her kind for such petty reasons." Luka murmured under her breath, in an attempt to convince herself that this was merely a really horrendous joke being played upon her.

"Petty things, a joke? No, my dear dreadful Megurine Luka, they were not killed for petty reasons and this is certainly not a joke; do not belittle me."

It was the voice! That unearthly and forlorn voice that just begged for her help. Luka now knew why it was so remarkably familiar.

It belonged to Kagamine Rin.
And she was in her head.

"Am I the next victim, after Miku? Are you going to kill me using something with an 'X' as well? Why cannot do this, you don't have a right to take other people's lives. They do not belong to you."

Innumerable questions, reasons, feelings were now circulating throughout Luka. Her heartbeat accelerated, beating violently in her chest, the sound so loud that she nearly overwhelmed her.

Yes, she was intimidated, terror-stricken. It was amusing to watch how she started defending herself, stating reasons why she should not be killed, as if she was a lawyer debating with the prosecutor. Yet, her defensive reaction was only to be expected. After all, the fear she was feeling was similar to the fear you would feel when a lion had your head in his mouth.

Nevertheless, her fragile arguments were utterly futile. I denounced her as guilty and she perished at my hands. She deserved her death for sitting on the fence idly as I was being bullied, terrorized. She did not give me the helping hand I needed.

That was why, I killed her by stabbing her heart, making it look like an 'X' - crossing her out. Next, I proceeded to record the account of her death onto my diary. Another down, 272 more to go.

...

Now, after you have read my diary…

C a n . y o u . g u e s s . w h o . t h e . n e x t . v i c t i m . i s ?