Okay, so um...this is a little different from how I normally write. It's kind of dark, but at the same time I tried not to make it too dark. It's going to be in more than one part, and I think I kind of messed up with the characters canonness, so, bare with me, okay? I just wrote this because I had the idea...Alright! Thanks! 3
The Monsters Are All Missing
And The Nightmares Can't Be Found
And In Their Place There Seems To Be
Good Feelings All Around
A scream pierced the night as Kurt Hummel sat straight up in bed. Sighing, a light came on as Blaine Anderson pulled himself up into a sitting position. The older boy moved closer to his boyfriend of nearly seven years. He didn't touch Kurt though. He knew that when Kurt had a nightmare like this that it was better to let Kurt come to him. A few seconds later, Kurt started crying and moved over to Blaine, laying his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.
"What was it this time? Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked, stroking Kurt's hair. Kurt shook his head against Blaine's shoulder. Blaine sighed gently. Not only was he a little annoyed that he was once again up in the early mornings of the day, but also because Kurt wouldn't talk about it. He loved Kurt to death, but this was getting out of hand. Blaine was slightly annoyed. He hated seeing the man that he loved being tortured by these nightmares, but there was nothing that Blaine could do until Kurt talked to him.
The first ones that Blaine knew about had started after Kurt left Dalton. Kurt had felt trapped there and decided that he couldn't run away from his fears forever, so he went back to McKinley to face Karofsky. About a week after going back, Kurt called Blaine at 1:00 AM, crying about a nightmare. Apparently he was having a nightmare about how Karofsky had trapped him in the locker room and basically sexually assaulted him. Blaine wasn't just talking about how Karofsky had kissed Kurt, but that Karofsky had actually pushed Kurt up against a locker and fondled him, even though Kurt was trying to fight back.
Little did Kurt know that once Blaine had heart what Karofsky did, he sat there and cried. He was suppose to have protected Kurt from any sort of harm. That was his job as a boyfriend. So, the very next day, Blaine skipped school and drove out to McKinley. Once he was there, he called Karofsky out on what he did. It cost Blaine a trip to the emergency room to get four stitches in his face and to have his nose and cheek-bone reset, but it was worth it. The only thing was that Karofsky didn't get into trouble. The fight was off campus, so the school couldn't do anything about it. But, it was worth it. Blaine felt noble about it.
Most people wouldn't think that a little fondling was that bad, but to Kurt it was traumatic. Kurt was terrified to talk about sex, so getting fondled by someone, and without actually wanting it, it was horrible. Blaine was sure that something else had happened after that too, but Kurt never said anything. Of course, Blaine didn't want to push Kurt. He knew that if he tried too hard than Kurt would retreat into himself and he would never get him to talk. It was better to let things work their way out.
About two weeks after the fight between Blaine and Karofsky, the latter was expelled from McKinley for getting caught smoking by the bleachers of the football field. Sure, it wasn't the revenge that Blaine wanted Karofsky to face, but it was revenge in a way. After Karofsky was gone, Kurt started to get better. He was still depressed, but he was getting better. It was then that Blaine transfered to McKinley. He needed to protect the boy he loved.
Now they were in their twenties and living together. The two didn't talk about it though. To them currently, it was just something that had happened. Whenever Kurt had a nightmare now, Blaine would get up, hold Kurt in his arms for a little while, then the two fo them would go downstairs to have something to drink. Kurt would usually sit at the kitchen table while Blaine warmed up some milk for the two of them to drink. Sure, it wasn't Blaine's favourite thing to do (or drink for that matter), but he did it to calm Kurt's nerves, and to hopefully get him talking a bit more. Blaine didn't want to press the issue though in case it upset Kurt too much.
That night was no different. The two of them were sitting in their bed, with Blaine hugging Kurt and Kurt crying into his shoulder. Blaine stroked his hair and tried to sooth him a bit. "It's okay Kurt. It's just a dream. Nothing can hurt you now. I have you," Blaine whispered, kissing the top of Kurt's head.
After a few minutes, Kurt stopped crying, but kept his face buried in Blaine's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I keep doing this," Kurt mumbled.
"It's not like you're doing this to spite me. You can't help it. I'm sorry that I can't fix this," Blaine whispered, continuing to stroke Kurt's hair.
Kurt smiled weakly and sat up, wiping his eyes. Blaine hated seeing his boyfriend's pale face blotched with red patches from crying. Reaching over, Blaine cupped the side of Kurt's face, bringing it to his own and kissing him. Usually Kurt would kiss back, but this time, Kurt flinched and pulled away. Kurt got up from the bed and went to stand by his mirror in the corner of the room. "I'm sorry...I...I can't. I can't kiss you right now," Kurt said, looking down at the carpet.
Blaine sat there with the look of a kicked puppy. This was the first time that Kurt had pulled away from him like this. What was really getting Blaine was how scared Kurt looked. It broke Blaine's heart to think that he was the one who made Kurt scared enough to start pacing in front of his mirror with his eyes down-cast at the carpet.
"I'm sorry...It's-It's not you that's making me scared. It's the nightmares," Kurt said, sinking down onto the seat of his vanity.
Blaine got up and moved to the edge of the bed. He sat there and took Kurt's hands in his. "It's okay. I understand. That kiss was what started this. I get it," Blaine whispered, trying to get Kurt to look at him.
Kurt kept his eyes away from Blaine's. He couldn't look at him. Blaine had this power to get anyone to talk if they looked into those hazel eyes, and Kurt didn't want to talk. "No. You wouldn't. You can't understand how this feels," Kurt whispered.
"So tell me about it. I can help you," Blaine said, reaching out to stroke the side of Kurt's face. Kurt jerked away and started crying again.
"No you can't! No one can help me!" Kurt shouted. "You don't get it! My fear...My fears aren't easily confronted. Do you know how terrifying it is to go to sleep now! To know that not only are my fears out there- there in the world and in reality- but to also know that my fears are attacking me in my sleep! In the one thing that people should find comfort in!"
Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and watched as his boyfriend sat there crying. Sure, Blaine had his fears. He was human after all. He just couldn't image not being able to sleep without those fears invading his dreams. "Kurt...Kurt-We'll-We'll get you help...Sleeping pills, or-or something," Blaine said.
"You don't think that we've tried!" Kurt nearly shrieked at Blaine. "Do you not think that my dad and Carole- that they just let me be like this! The pills-they just made it worse," Kurt cried.
"So we'll try something else! I can't stand to see you hurting like this," Blaine said, looking up at Kurt.
Kurt, who had gotten up and resumed his pacing, stopped and rolled his eyes. He suddenly looked angry with Blaine. "Yes. You can't stand seeing me like this. You want me to talk. You want to help me. Well guess what Blaine, this isn't about you for once!"
"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make this about me," Blaine snapped.
Kurt rolled his eyes again. "You you are! It's always about you!"
Blaine got up and went to stand in front of his boyfriend. "Is this what you need? Do you need to yell at me for some strange deprived reason to make you feel in charge! Fine, I don't give a damn!" Blaine shouted at Kurt. Blaine gasped and turned away. He hardly ever swore, and he never swore at Kurt before.
Kurt caught Blaine's eye and started crying again. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's chest and stood there crying for a minute. Blaine was confused by everything that was happening, but after the initial shock of Kurt hugging him, he put his arms around Kurt and started trying to calm him down again. "Kurt, I know you may not want to talk about it, but it will help. Please, talk to me," Blaine whispered.
Kurt shook his head. "Please, don't make me talk about it."
"It's going to keep haunting you," Blaine said, running his hand along the back of Kurt's head. Kurt pulled back and looked up at his boyfriend. There was so much hurt in his eyes. It wasn't just because Kurt had yelled at him, but it was because Kurt was hurting. Kurt had never seen Blaine this concerned before. Looking at the scar on Blaine's face, Kurt felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He owed Blaine an explanation. An explanation as to why he was like this. Why he was jerking away.
"Blaine...I was raped," Kurt whispered, starting to cry again.