Holler! I felt like writing songfics, and I have a whole list of ones I want to do... Some Jem/Tessa, some Will/Tessa (like this one) and possibly even a Jem/Will... Anyway, the song here is "The Only Exception" by Paramore. By the way, this is what I imagine Will was thinking after Tessa leaves the roof at the end of CA. You know, when he makes his proposal to... well, we know what he wants. ;) Please review! I am a shameless review whore!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor this song.

"Music fills the infinite between two souls." –Rabindrinath Tagore

"You cannot have imagined I meant anything more," Will said, aware of the dangerous glint in his eyes. He saw the way Tessa's pain was written clearly in her eyes before she turned and fled, leaving him alone on the roof. I can't say I didn't see that coming, he thought wryly. I can't love her the way she deserves to be loved. I am… broken, and she cannot fix me.

When I was younger

I saw my daddy cry

And curse at the wind

He broke his own heart

And I watched

As he tried to reassemble it

Will knew it was all his father's fault that he was the way he was; the tall, bear-like man with Will's blue eyes who had a peculiar quirk. He could fall in love, over and over, and watch as the object of his affection moved on without him, all the while staying in love (and staying married to) Will's mother, the sharp-witted Welshwoman with jet-black hair and an inability to forgive. Will watched as his father broke his own heart dozens of times, and he privately suspected that it was this reason he was so closed off from the world, refusing to love or give even a small piece of himself away.

And my momma swore

She would never let herself forget

Will had asked his mother once why his father was so sad all the time, and he never forgot her answer. "William," she said in her harsh, accented voice, "your father cannot tell the difference between loving and falling in love. He falls in love with everything that has a pulse, and then he cannot help but have his heart broken. He does not learn, and it is for that reason he is so unhappy."

Will was but seven, a bright-eyed child without a care in the world. "But Mother," he insisted, "what can I do to help him?"

His mother knelt so as to be the same height as her son. "The only way to help him is to promise me you will not be like him. Love many things, but only fall in love once."

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love

If it does not exist

Will, at age seven, did not know there was a difference between loving and falling in love, so he swore off both. He swore he would not be like his father, and hurt himself over and over for no reason. Love brought nothing but trouble, and he would have none of it.

But darlin'

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

Of course, Will now understood that he was wrong to make such a strong choice about his future from such a young age. Now, all he wanted was to love Tessa the way she deserved, but he couldn't quite manage it. It was like that part of his heart was permanently broken; he could form strong friendships, but that was rare. It was, in fact, only Jem he had actually cared about since he was very young. He never much cared for either of his parents; his father was weak, that he knew, and rarely around, and his mother was often bitter and cruel. Yes, only Jem, who could never hate him despite his faults… There was Cecily, that was true, but after her, he was quite sure he could never– would never– love again. Tessa was truly the only exception to his law of living a loveless life.

Maybe I know, somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

Tessa would leave soon enough; he doubted she would want to remain in London after all her horrible memories of the city. It was only fear of Mortmain that kept her here, after all. When he was gone, when the clockwork monsters were destroyed, he was sure she would leave, go back to New York or perhaps just travel. She had once said she'd always wanted to travel. Jem, of course, would be gone in a few years– though it killed him to think of it that way. He would rather think of the time they had left as being the time he had left, because imagining life without Jem was… impossible. Cecily, well, she was already gone. There was nothing he could do about that.

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

So far, it wasn't all bad. Living a loveless life meant that Will could essentially do whatever he pleased and not have to worry about the consequences. He could stay out all night, drink until he puked and passed out in an alley somewhere, and have lots of meaningless sex with prostitutes who were only to happy to share themselves with the beautiful boy who asked so little from them, something so easy for the flesh to give. I am torn, he realized, between living a pleasurable if lonely life and having it rip me apart to love her the way she ought to be loved. If it hurts her to be with me, it destroys me a thousand times worse.

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm content

With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

He had been so concerned that he was violating his own rules that he had never stopped to think about whether or not he was truly happy. Jem had asked him that very thing once.

"William, I know that you seem to be enjoying your life the way you are living it, but have you ever actually thought about changing your ways, maybe settling down?"

"Settling down?" he had scoffed.

"Yes, settling down. I don't mean getting married, at least not right now, but perhaps toning down all the wild behavior? I'm sure you realize it reflects poorly on your reputation."

"I was not aware that there were still shreds of my reputation still intact. I must remember to change that," he added almost to himself.

Jem sighed, shaking his head. "I can see I will not change your mind. I only ask that you learn to open your heart a bit more in the future, because you won't always have me as your moral compass."

And because he was right, Will scowled.

I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't

Let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up

Leave me with some sort of proof it's not a dream

Ooh ooh…

I am actually an idiot, Will decided. I have acted the part of a fool. Perhaps that part of my heart was broken, but perhaps it can be fixed. Perhaps Tessa can fix me, if I'd only ever let her try… It was so clear to him now, to the point where he couldn't see why he didn't see it there before. Love is not the problem. Loneliness and heartbreak are the problem. Love is the solution. If I love her, I can be selfless enough to forget my past, can I not? If Jem can do it, I can as well. It will not be easy, but I have Jem for guidance. It occurred to him that Jem might actually die of shock if Will confessed that not only did he love Tessa, but he needed help to work past his aversion to love.

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing,

Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Will pulled himself away from the wrought-iron railing encircling the Institute roof. He had to find Tessa, had to apologize for his rudeness and unfriendliness. He had to tell her the truth, which was this: he loved her, more than he had ever loved anyone, even the slender silver boy who was bound to him by the rune they shared on their right forearms. I love you, Tessa Gray. You have to believe me, because if you don't, if you reject me, I will have nothing.

Nothing.

Did this suck? It sucked, didn't it? Oh, the shame!