"ARGH!! Come back, ye scurvy brat! I'll gut ye and scatter ye bones to the fish! Give me regards to old Davy Jones!"
"Toni…"
"Call me a cod fish, ye—" The pirate paused her rant, and turned towards the child. The pirate flipped up her eye-patch, and suddenly, she wasn't a pirate anymore.
"Yes Emily?"
"I'm tired of this game," Emily said softly as she looked up at her babysitter.
Toni—also known as Antonella Lucia Marianna Guccione—chuckled as she tugged the handkerchief she had tied around her head off. She unclipped the plastic play sword from her belt, and squatted to Emily's eye level. She was of average height for a seventeen year old girl, but Emily was a slip of a ten year old. "Pirates do become stale after a while…what would you like to play?" she asked cheerfully.
Emily looked into Toni's eyes, and bit her lip. Emily saw a lot of Toni since her parents were often out of the house. Toni was the best babysitter she had ever had—much better than the witch the watched her from three to six. It was Toni that came in the evenings and weekends most of the time—Toni never denied that she needed the money badly, or that her social life was nothing to be desired. Emily knew that Toni wasn't popular, and didn't have many friends.
But Toni was Emily's best friend—oh the games they played! Toni had such an imagination, and even Emily could tell that she had never really grown up. Toni—why, Toni read to her, and sang with her, and dressed up with her and pretended with her. Emily had more fun with Toni than anyone else!
But…things were changing for Emily. She was in fifth grade, and her school friends were changing….and they wanted her to change too…
"What's the matter Emily?" Toni asked.
"Toni…er…I don't think I want to play games anymore."
Toni didn't understand. "Tired already Em?" she joked.
"No…" Emily began fidgeting. "It's just that…I think I'm too old for games now."
Toni fell backwards in shock, her bottom hitting the carpet with an unceremonious "thump". "Too old?" she echoed.
Emily bit her lip harder. Oh, she knew Toni wouldn't take this well! "Well…everyone else in my class isn't playing games anymore."
"And just what are they doing?" Toni asked softly.
"Well…they talk about boys and makeup and clothes and N'SYNC…"
Toni's eyes grew sorrowful. "They've grown up."
"Doesn't that mean I should grow up too?"
"NO!" Toni head had snapped up, and a fire was burning in her eyes. Emily looked close to tears. Toni's face immediately softened. "Oh Em…I'm sorry, it's just that…no one HAS to grow up just cause everyone else has."
Emily, looked at her, confused. "But you get older…"
"And that's all you do….you gain years, but that doesn't mean you have to grow up, that you have to give up on all the fun you had as a little kid!" Toni shook her head. "Those kids in your class…they're got it all wrong! You're too young to act grown up.
"The problem with growing up is that once you have, you can't be a young again." Toni grinned as she motioned for Emily to sit on her lap. Emily crawled over, and curled up, resting her head on Toni's chest. "You know, I have a cousin who's 34, and he still acts like a kid…and he has two kids himself!"
Emily giggled, and hoped Toni would go into one of her stories. She LOVED Toni's stories. "I don't see what the big deal about growing up is," Toni nonchalantly said. "What's the appeal?"
"The girls in my class say they want to be mature and have a boyfriend."
"Hrumph! Boyfriends are HIGHLY overrated m'dear. Glad I never messed with that waste of energy," Toni arrogantly said.
"You've never had a boyfriend?" Emily asked, shocked.
Toni looked down at her, and smiled….though it was a sad one. "All the guys that wanted to date me wanted something I wasn't willing to give."
"But didn't you ever have a crush on anyone? My friend Liz has a crush on Tommy."
"Oh sure, I had a crush on some guys. But that passed, in time."
"Which guy did you like the most? I mean, like like." Emily asked eagerly.
Toni thought hard. "I…don't' really know, Em," she admitted.
"But who was your FIRST crush?"
Toni smiled, and looked away. "Come on, I'll tell you as you get ready for bed."
~*~
"Who who who!?!" Emily asked as she sat in bed. She had thrown her pjs on, brushed her teeth and leapt into bed, since Toni refused to tell her till she was ready to go to sleep.
Toni sat down in the rocking chair at the foot of Emily's bed. Emily pleadingly looked at Toni, and she finally opened her mouth to begin.
"I was five when I had my first crush."
"You were so young!"
"I know, I know," Toni laughed. "I had read about him in a book, and I thought that he was so brave and funny and arrogant that I wanted to be with him forever."
"In a book?" Emily asked, confused.
"Yep, in a book. I've read you that book."
Emily tried to remember which one it could be, but her mind drew a blank. "Who was it?" she whined.
Toni smiled, and she looked away from Emily, and towards her closed bay windows. Emily lived in a very old and tall house, and her room was on the third floor. The window was locked by two latches, and her parents had never gotten around to putting screens on the windows. Toni rose from the rocking chair and walked over to the window.
"I used to wish so much that I could finally meet him. I wanted to go on adventures with him."
Emily watched her, transfixed. Toni undid the latches, and opened the window. A warm summer breeze drifted in, and Emily could smell the clean grass and lilacs that grew around the house.
"I used to sit under my window, and wish upon every star I saw that he would come. 'Star light…star bright…'
"I knew he was out there somewhere…he just had to find me one night, hear my voice asking him to visit…and then I would fly away with him, and have adventures! Fight pirates! Hunt wild animals! But I would fly! Fly! I've always wanted to fly…"
"Peter Pan? Was it Peter Pan?" Emily asked, breathless. Toni always made very thing seem so exciting, when she told it.
"Yes. Peter Pan…my first crush was Peter Pan." She looked at Emily, and smiled. "But it wasn't the typed of crush your thinking of…it's not like I wanted to kiss him or be lovey dovey. I just wanted to be with him, be a Lost Boy."
"But…he's not real…" Emily softly said.
Toni looked back out the window. "I don't believe that. I think he's out there…he just…never heard me…I suppose that's why I never grew up…"
For the strangest reason Emily had the urge to cry. Toni seemed so sad, so lonely. But she was still so confused. Why shouldn't she grow up….it almost seemed like a better deal.
"But Toni…aren't you too old now to go to Neverland?" Emily asked as she laid down on her bed.
Toni looked at her, but didn't answer. Emily stared at her as she looked away…her stocky frame, her mid thigh jean shorts, her brown sneakers with their gray laces, her navy blue shirt and the black vest she wore over it. Her ear length brown hair covered her face, and her knees where pulled up too her chest.
"Go to sleep, Em…"
It was all rather sad…
~*~
Toni's POVWhen was the last time I had gazed out a window during the night? It all seemed too long a time…
I remember, every night I would open my window and wish that Peter would come, but…
I think I'm starting to grow up. I'm starting to think maybe it was all just a nice story, but just that…a story.
Poor Em…fifth grade's a hard year for a kid. I lost a lot of friends in fifth grade because I didn't grow up with them.
She's asleep now, her long blonde hair spread up across the pillow, her green eyes closed. She snores a little, and her hand is always near her mouth…she used to suck her thumb.
You know, this is how I spend the majority of my Friday nights…here, watching her until her parents come home. I'm starting to think I have no life. I enjoy playing with a ten year old more than hanging around people my age. She reminds me of…well…me.
But….what if she grows up? Then what?
I have to let her do her own thing, I know, but I wish there was a way to show her that it's alright to stay young at heart.
I wonder…
One last try can't hurt…
"Star light,"
Please let this work…"Star bright,"
One star catches my eye…it somehow seems special…"First star I see tonight.
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wish
I wish tonight…"
I don't even remember if that's how it goes…"I wish…"
Peter, if you're out there, please…"I wish…"
Star, please tell him!"I wish that Peter Pan would come and led us to Neverland, so that we might have a adventure."
Please! Before one of us grows up, Peter!
Emily's still asleep…she didn't hear my soft prayer. I slowly close the window, but pause as I reach to lock it. It won't hurt, if I leave it unlocked this once…
* please read and review….this was inspire by the show on the Disney cruise… "Disney dreams" or something of that nature. The guy who played peter was WAY too hot. The thoughts I had I my mind while watch him…every WRONG thoughts…*smiles lustfully*