So here is the next chapter. I hope everyone likes it! If anyone is interested in being a beta for this story just let me know cause I'm really sick of doing it myself. The only thing is I don't know how much longer this story will go on for I'm really just kinda winging it haha! But anyway here it is so enjoy!

Disclaimer - Everything belongs to Cassandra Claire

Four years, it had been four years since I had left Idris, and here I was back in the small city that I grown up in and missed so much while I was away. I was sitting in my mom and Luke's driveway in my car debating whether or not I was really ready to show them why I had left all those years ago. My childhood home looked the exact same as when I left, I couldn't help but notice that so did his house the only difference is that his bedroom window was dark and cold. I had made Simon make sure that he would be away this weekend, apparently he had some college things to take care of. Not that I really cared what he did I just really didn't want to run into him at all or that is what I told myself.

Only a few people knew I was coming back my mom, Luke, and Simon. They were the only people I had stayed in contact with after I had left. Simon would come and visit me occasionally, but he was so busy with starting college and Isabelle that is was hard for him to make the four hour drive to New York. They had been dating for the last two years, but he couldn't tell her where he went when he would visit me, I had made him swear he wouldn't tell her before I told him where I moved to because I didn't want him to know where I was and no doubt Izzy would've accidentally blabbed about it. Don't get me wrong I loved the girl but she didn't know how to keep a secret to save her life.

"Mommy I'm hungry," The three year old Jonny said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Ok so are you ready to go and meet your grandma and grandpa then?" I asked her while looking at her in the rear view mirror.

"Yes mommy I am!" She was clapping her hands and trying to bounce up and down as much as her car seat would let her.

"Ok let's get this over with then." I pulled my hood over my head and got out of the car to help Jonny out of her car seat. I don't know why I hadn't told them about Jonny, I was just afraid that they would tell everyone and then Jace would somehow find out. I couldn't let that happen not after what he had told me that night so long ago.

I got Jonny out of the car and started towards the house, I was about to knock on the door when I felt her tug on my pant leg.

"Mommy, I'm scared." She was staring up at me with her big beautiful green eyes and her long blond wavy hair was blowing in the light breeze.

"You don't need to be scared baby, they are going to love you, I mean how could they not love such a beautiful girl like you?" I fixed her hair, patted her cheek, and then knocked on the door. All my anxiety from earlier came back tenfold. I heard the door open and then looked to see my mother standing before me. I felt Jonny cower behind me, I could just imagine her trying to make herself look as little as possible which wasn't very hard considering she was probably going to take after me in the height department.

"Clary it's so good to see you, come in, come in, you know you don't have to knock." She pulled me in for a hug still not noticing the little girl behind me. Luke came up behind her and gave me a little pat on the shoulder.

"It's good to see you Clary." Once my mother released me I heard her sharp intake of breath and knew Jonny must've peeked out from behind me during all the commotion. I looked straight at her face and saw the tirade of emotions playing in her eyes and the flicker of surprise pass on her face but it was only for a moment, she was very good at hiding her emotions and I only knew one person that was better than her. Luke was no different but he took just a second longer to compose himself.

"And who is this lovely girl here?" My mother said while bending down to be eye level with my daughter.

"This is Jonny Clarissa, can you say hi?"

"My mommy calls me Jacey a lot and you can too if you want." Jonny said shyly and had still not come out from behind me all the way but more than before. But all I could think about was how she had told them my little nickname for her and how they would automatically know who her father was.

"Well hello Jacey, I'm your Grandma Jocelyn and this is your Grandpa Luke." Jonny came all the way out from behind me upon hearing her say that and looked at Luke which he just smiled and waved a little, she gave a huge smile back and then ran into the arms of my mother.

"Mommy said we were gonna stay here for a while. Can we grandma?"

"Of course you can. How about you go with Grandpa Luke for a snack so I can talk to your mommy for a minute."

"Yay, I love snacks!" Jonny then ran over to Luke and tugged on his hand so he could show her the way and he happily obliged.

I followed my mother into the living room and right when she knew that they were out of ear shot she flipped around and slapped me right in the face. I was surprised to say the least, I mean I knew she would be mad but I never knew she would be this mad.

"How could you do this to me and Luke?" She whisper yelled at me. "This is why you left to go live with your dad all of the sudden isn't it, isn't it?" I could only nod, to afraid to speak and still in shock of her slapping me, my mother had never hit me before in my life. "Is she Jace's?" I nodded again tears welling up in my eyes threatening to spill at any moment. "Does he know about her?" At this question all I could do is shake my head. "How could you be this stupid Clary?" This time the tears finally did fall over.

"I'm so sorry mom, but you don't know the full extent of what happened between us. You don't know what happened the night that I went to his show and he finally told me that he wanted to be with me." I fell onto my knees crying, remembering all the things that I had been trying to forget.

~Flashback~

After Jace had broke the kiss that Clary had been waiting so long to receive they had decided to go back to his house knowing that his parents were out of town. They were laying on his bed staring at the ceiling talking about nothing when Jace turned towards Clary.

"Clary I think I might be falling in love with you." Clary was stunned at his confession sure Jace had kissed her but she never thought in a million years that he would have admitted that to her. She turned to face him surprise clearly etched into her face.

"Jace I think I already love you." Jace then leaned into Clary his lips meeting hers it was different then the last kiss, where the first one was so full of need and lust this one was full of love and so much more. That night Clary wanted to show Jace just how much she loved him and so she did.

That night was the best night of her life, she woke up the next morning wrapped in the arms of the man she loved and she couldn't have been happier. She quickly put on Jace's favorite green shirt grabbed her clothes and went home.

Later that day she had went to take her birth control pill and had noticed that she had missed the last four days. All she could think about at that moment was how could she be so stupid and how was she going to tell Jace. Even though she was scared she quickly picked up her phone and dialed his number.

"Hey beautiful." She could tell that Jace was happy that she called but she didn't think that he was going to stay happy for too long.

"Uh hi Jace."

"Is something wrong?"

"Well I just need to talk to you are you home?"

"Yeah come on over I'll just be in my room." Clary hung up the phone and climbed out her window and into Jace's.

"So what's up Clary?"

"Alright well this isn't really easy to say so I'll just say it, I went to take my birth control pill just a minute ago and I uh, noticed that I missed the last four days." She had mumbled the last part to afraid to say it louder but by the look on Jace's face she knew that he had heard her.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I thought I heard you say that you had missed your pill for the last four days. Did I hear that correctly?" Clary could only nod because of the lump forming in her throat and the tears welling up in her eyes. "Clary God damn it, how could you be so stupid? You fucking did this on purpose, didn't you? You just wanted to have my kid and trap me in a relationship that I'm not sure I wanted." He was yelling by the end of it, his face just inches from hers and she couldn't help it when she instinctively took a step back to get a little distance from him.

"I would never do that to you Jace, how could you even think that?" She was crying now and couldn't stop the sob that escaped just at the end of it.

"I don't know that. You know what, I think that you should just leave." He had turned his back on her and went to lay down on his bed. Jace hadn't meant to say all those hurtful things they had just come out and he couldn't stop them. He had been with a lot of girls and when he would break up with them or not call them back they would pull this shit with him, saying that they were pregnant or some shit like that just to make him stay with them. Of course they were all just lying. He knew Clary would never do that to him but that was just his first reaction to it and he couldn't help it. He regretted everything he said as soon as it came out of his mouth but he couldn't tell her, there was no taking them back now he had already hurt her and he didn't know if he could ever fix it.

Once Clary had gotten home she had made a vow to herself that if she did in fact become pregnant that she would move away, not tell Jace, and raise the baby on her own. She didn't know how she could face him anymore, so she had called her dad that night and asked if she could come live with him not even caring if she was pregnant or not. So a week later she had moved away, she had left all of her pictures and art on her walls and all of Jace's shirts that she had ever taken home in a neatly folded pile on her old her bed except for his favorite green shirt.

~End Flashback~

"He really said all those things to you?" My mother was now on her knees too rubbing slow circles on my back.

"It's alright I understand why he did it. I mean I was hardly ready to take care of a kid and I know he was nowhere near ready."

"That is no excuse for him to be such a little prick about it. The next time I see him I am going to give him a piece of my mind." She had that determined look on her face and I knew that if I didn't stop her right now that nothing would stop her when she did see him.

"No!" I screeched, "You can't do that then he will know that I have been here and it will just cause more problems than there needs to be. I just can't face him right now."

"Clary honey you are going to have to face him sooner or later. He has to know about this, you can't just keep something this big from him for the rest of your lives. Jonny has a right to know who her father is and Jace has a right to know who his daughter is. You need to let him make the decision of whether or not he wants to be in her life, you can't make it for him."

"I know I'm just so scared." I knew that Jace had a right to know but I just didn't know how I was going to face him after all those things he said to me and after all these years.

"Mommy, mommy, Grandpa Luke gave me some fruit snacks and they were really yummy!" Jonny said while she came running into the living room with Luke right behind her. "Mommy what's wrong, don't cry mommy."

"I'm just happy that you finally got to meet your grandparents' baby it's nothing for you to worry about."

~XX-O-XX~

Later that night after I had put Jonny to sleep in the room next to mine I had entered my room only to noticed that nothing had changed, all my pictures that I had left still graced the walls, my desk was still littered with papers and sketches, my bed was still in the middle of the room with my old lime green comforter on but most importantly his shirts still lay in the same neat little pile that I had left them in.

I couldn't believe that he had just left them there. I put them there so he would take them or my mom would give them to him. I never wanted to see those shirts again I wanted everything that was his out of my life so I would never be reminded of him and what we used to have. I knew that to an extent I would always have him in my mind a little because of Jonny but little things like that were just too hard to deal with. I couldn't handle seeing them again so I walked right up to my bed and threw them across the room. I couldn't be in this room anymore with all the pictures of him and me on the wall I just had to get out of there. I left my room and went to find my mom I needed to go for a walk and think about things.

"Mom I need to go for a walk I'll be back in a little bit do you mind listening for Jonny?"

"No of course not dear take all the time you need."

"Thanks," I said as I walked out the door. I had one place in mind that I knew I could go to and get the peace of mind that I so desperately needed at that point.

Once I reached the park that me and Jace would go to all the time when we were kids all the way up until we were in high school I went straight for the swings. They had always been my favorite thing in the park, it was just so relaxing going back and forth, up and then back down, the air on your face through your hair it was amazing and I could always think when I was on them. I started swinging and all thoughts cleared from my mind the only thing I could think about was feet forward, feet backward, I swung for what felt like hours when someone sat in the swing next to me. I was just coming back down when I finally opened my eyes and saw a head of gold in the swing next to me. But it couldn't be him, he was supposed to be away at college but that head of hair was unmistakable.

"So I looked out my window and guess what I saw walking by? Red hair, and I thought to myself I only know one person with red hair. And well once I figured out who this girl with the red hair was it wasn't very hard to guess where she was going." Jace was lightly swinging his feet never leaving the ground and I finally stopped swinging all together the tips of my toes barely reaching the ground making me lightly swing as well.

"Why didn't you take your shirts? I left them there for you to take and you didn't and I would really like to know why." I couldn't look at him, I knew that if I did that my resolve would crumble and I would fling myself into his arms. I wouldn't let that happen I needed to know why he said all those things to me, why he would just treat me like I was just one of his random whores.

"Wow after four years of not seeing each other and you want to know why I didn't take the shirts." He laughed and the sound of it was relaxing I never realized how much I actually missed the sound of his voice, his laugh, and well just him. "I guess I just thought that when you came back you would want them but then you never came back and I just kind of forgot about them."

"Simon said you were supposed to be at college this weekend he said you had some shit to catch up on or something."

"Keeping tabs on me I see." I knew he was smirking I could just hear it in the tone of his voice, how it was light and playful just like it used to be.

"Not exactly." I was still looking at my feet scraping along the dirt making indents in it.

"Oh I see you wanted to avoid me, make sure I wouldn't be coming home this weekend so you could." All the playfulness that was in his tone just moments ago was now gone and I swore I could hear just the slightest bit of hurt that replaced it. "Well I hate to be the one to inform you but Simon gave you bad information because everyone knew I would be home this weekend for a show that I'm playing tomorrow and other bussiness that I have to attend to."

"Fucking A, I'm going to kill him." I was livid how could Simon do this to me, he knew that I didn't want to see Jace.

"Oh don't be to hard on rat boy I'm sure Izzy made him do it so they could get us to talk again or some shit like that. Who really knows what goes on in the inner workings of Izzy's mind."

"Izzy didn't even know I was coming back, only Simon, my mom, and Luke did."

"Do you really think that rat boy can keep a secret from Izzy?" He was chuckling and I knew he was right I guess I was just stupid enough to believe that Simon actually could keep a secret.

I don't know how long we sat there for but it seemed like an eternity, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence no, it was more like it used to be when we were here comfortable and normal. It amazed me how easy it was to fall back into old habits with him or how easy it was to talk to him.

"So when are you going back to where ever it is you came from?"

"I'm heading back on Sunday, I have to go back to work on Monday."

"Oh well what does Miss Clary do for work?"

"Well actually I have two jobs, I'm a waitress at a little resturaunt called Taki's and I clean hotel rooms, I really wouldn't recommend either job because they pretty much suck."

"I'll keep that in mind for when I'm job hunting. But you should come to my show tomorrow it's at Pandemonium. It starts at like nine, I mean you don't have to come if you don't want to it would just be nice to have you there." Jace was nervous I could tell by the tone in his voice and how he second guessed himself for asking me, it was cute Jace never got nervous he was always so confident which is a nice way of putting it.

"Yeah maybe I'll have to see what I can do."

"You know I always play better when you're there." My breath hitched that was the exact same thing he told me before the last show I went to. I finally looked at Jace, into those beautiful golden eyes and in them I saw such emotion that I was mesmerized I wanted so bad to look away but I just couldn't. I also saw that he knew that if he said that exact phrase that he would have me, he just knew me too well even after all these years. How was I supposed to say no to a face like that?

"Well I guess I could make an appearance."

"Great well we should probably get going don't you think, it's getting kind of chilly." Jace started to get up from the swing and held his hand out to help me up.

"Yeah I guess you're right." I got up ignoring his hand, I could see the slight hurt in his eyes but it was gone just as fast as it came. That night we walked home in an uncomfortable silence neither of us wanting to bring up the subject that so desperately needed to be discussed so that we could finally move passed it and start over.

Well let me know what you thought of it! and if you have any questions let me know as well!