Chapter 4 – Triple Baka

Summary: I'm the columnist for Vongola High School's weekly newspaper. This elite school abounds with hot, popular semes and cute, adorable ukes. Strangely enough, they still write to me for love advice. That's odd…

Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…

A/N: …the last time I updated was in 2011. Oh dear. I've probably lost all my readers by now. Never mind! I shall persevere and hopefully I can get new readers. Okay, responses to reviewers (even if they are no longer here to read them…)

EK12: Er… write in as Tsuna…? Hm, I'm not really sure… could you PM me and tell me what you want to write?

Cuore l'anima della: Awesome seer power…? Haha. Who's purssia? Awww. You don't like G27? You prefer 0027? That's okay I guess, I like 0027 too. I'm not really sure who I should pair Tsuna up with in the end though… Giotto? Hibari? Enma? Thanks for your review, though!

10th Squad 3rd Seat: You know, I've always wanted to ask you… why is your name like that? What does it mean? Just out of curiousity… and yeah, it's Giotto and Tsuna. Yup, Tsuna ran off to Enma, because Enma looks like such a nice dude (even though he's a yandere)

Kichou: Um, thanks.

TotalAmuto: I know right?

shii san: Thank you! I'm glad someone likes this story so much! I'm glad I made your day! Your review made my day too. And yes, I'll try my best to keep up the work.

vanillabeast: Yes, I will continue. Don't worry.

Dear Missy Aiko,

Help me! I'm currently hiding under the table in the science lab with my laptop and typing to you. The reason why I'm hiding is because I… kinda… kissed my friend the other day. My friend (let's call him RedHeadCatLover) started acting really weird last week. I mean, I took your advice and tried to talk to ClamsPrimo using your 'third party method' and it was actually starting to work, but then all of a sudden, his phone beeped. He read the message on his phone and his face got really angry. He started shouting at me about stuff like "I can't believe you made out with Skylark!" and I got really confused. He kept shouting about how I had 'betrayed' him and then he stomped off.

Afterwards, I went to check my phone and I saw that someone was spreading a chain message to the entire school. The message went like this:

Gossip alert! TenthSkye seen with Skylark in hot make-out session!

I got the shock of my life. I haven't even GONE near Skylark in the past few weeks. Who was spreading this terrible rumor? Who would do this to me? I don't have any enemies that I can think of… so anyway, I got really upset, and then RedHeadCatLover came up to comfort me. He was acting a little weird; it was like he suddenly got a lot more… dominant. But he was still very nice to me and he bought me food and gifts to cheer me up. And then one day, when I was feeling especially upset about ClamsPrimo, he said: "Forget about him… come with me." I got shocked and I didn't know how to reply, and then he just suddenly leaned forward and kissed me.

Someone MUST have seen us, because the next thing I know, ClamsPrimo and Skylark are coming after me.

ClamsPrimo was especially pissed at me because I have been spending a lot of time with RedHeadCatLover for the past few weeks, and I think a lot of people assumed that I had broke up with ClamsPrimo and was going out with RedHeadCatLover. That's not true! We're just friends! And now, ClamsPrimo is really, really mad at me. I'm not sure why Skylark is also chasing after me, but he looked so scary I just had to run!

So please help m- OH SHIT THEY'RE COMING GOTTA GO.

-TenthSkye

Dear Missy Aiko,

Hi there. It's me, AwesomeBlondeBoss again. I did what you told me, and I tried to invoke my boyfriend's (let's call him CuteTuna) feelings again when he came to talk to me the other day. I think he wants to get back together with me, too, because he seemed to be trying to talk about the whole chocolate thing. I was just about to ask him to go on a date with me so we could sort things out when my phone got a message. It was one of those dumb chain-mail things. I was just about to delete it, when I saw the words Gossip alert! I read on, and my blood started to boil. I lost my temper and started yelling at CuteTuna. I couldn't stand it anymore so I ran off. I ignored CuteTuna for awhile (he ran off to TenthShimonKid again!). Next thing I know, my phone receives a picture of CuteTuna and that darn redhead (let's call him TenthShimonKid) kissing! I got so angry I went to confront CuteTuna about TenthShimonKid.

When I went up to him, I started asking him about TenthShimonKid, and then all of a sudden TonfaFreak (the guy who was involved in the chocolate argument I had with CuteTuna sometime back) appeared and CuteTuna screamed and ran away.

Arghhhhh! Why did TonfaFreak have to appear? I just wanted to talk to CuteTuna and clear up things. Ugh! And then that darn TenthShimonKid keeps hanging around CuteTuna, I can't seem to go near my lovely boyfriend at all.

Now I'm typing this to you on my phone while figuring out where CuteTuna ran off to. TonfaFreak's looking for him too (that jerk) but I swear I'll find CuteTuna first!

Help me! How do I sort this mess out!

-AwesomeBlondeBoss

(Oh wait! I hear some sounds coming from the science lab!)

Dear Missy Aiko,

YOUR PLAN WORKED! I managed to get VongolaBrunet and the other guy (let's call him CapesAreCool) to get into another argument. They were just about to make up when my chain mail landed in CapesAreCool's phone inbox. Then CapesAreCool started shouting at VongolaBrunet and VongolaBrunet came running to me. He looked so sad so I comforted him and then he looked so… vulnerable… so I kissed him. Damn, it was worth it, even after he pushed me away. I wanted to make him mine, so I kissed him again, and this time I was a little bit more forceful.

Bad news is, VongolaBrunet didn't seem very happy, and he said stuff about "we're just friends" and "I still love my boyfriend". Then he ran off. Afterwards, I heard that he was being chased by CapesAreCool and the other guy that was involved in the chocolate brouhaha (let's call him SadisticPrefect). I decided to go and find him too. Unlike CapesAreCool and SadisticPrefect, I know exactly where VongolaBrunet is.

He's in the science lab.

-TrueFlameShimonTenth

P.S.: Therefore, the only advice I want to ask from you is how to get VongolaBrunet away from CapesAreCool. Permanently.

A/N: The chapter title is taken from a Vocaloid song. I thought it suited this chapter very well.

Also, from now on I will only be typing Tsuna and co.'s letters. I will not be typing my replies because I'm pretty sure nobody wants to read that. So whatever advice I give, you will only know what advice it is when you read their letters, because I will no longer be typing out my replies.

Anyway, reviews please. Otherwise I'll get Enma to go into yandere mode and come after you. With a chainsaw. BWAHAHAHA~