Chapter Rating: R/NC-17

Pairing: Vincent/Tifa

Genre: Romance/Angst/Drama

Description: He'd spent more time than needed atoning for his sins, and it was finally time for him to rest in peace. But when he leaves everything behind… what if he left behind something that was more precious to him than he had ever wanted to admit...

To Never Love Again

Chapter Two: Indecision

He listened to her sniff a couple of times before finally releasing her and staring down at her, wordlessly.

"Mind if I cook us breakfast? I'm hungry," she said in an attempt to change the subject, and was pleased when he accepted the subject change without question.

"There's no need…," at that exact moment his stomach growled fiercely. His cheeks tinted the slightest bit when Tifa started to laugh. With a sigh he held out his hand in the direction of the stairs as if to say 'lead the way', and Tifa obliged.

"I had actually considered cooking," Vincent uttered once they reached the kitchen.

Tifa had to admit that Vincent was quite the gentleman when he wanted to be, but the thought of him cooking didn't register well in her mind. Simply because, from what she remembered, he couldn't cook. "Since when did you start coming up with plans to kill people," she asked as she searched the fridge.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, one eyebrow raised out of irritation. Part of him wanted to reply to that, but he didn't feel like playing the "yes huh" and "nuh uh" game at the moment. "I suppose I'll take this time to repair what was destroyed during our… misunderstanding."

She pulled a carton of eggs out of the fridge and set them on the counter beside him, smiling nervously. "Yeah… about that… I'll reimburse you…"

He held up a single hand to silence her. "It's no trouble." When she hesitantly nodded in reply, he made his way out of the kitchen and to his own task.

Tifa sighed when he was out of sight. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't find it in her to tell him what she'd really come here for. It wasn't because she didn't want to. She felt… as if she would open new wounds that he had worked so hard to close. Even as strong as he was he still had his weak points too. When it came to the ones he loved, Vincent became weak and burdened all at the same time.

'What about you,' her mind raged. 'All you've ever done is worry about everyone else, and all you received in return was a lifeless bar.'

"I know," she whispered to herself as she continued cooking. "… but this time it's worth it."

In the other room, Vincent proceeded in hammering wooden boards to the broken floor. It would do until he could get it professionally fixed at least.

"Why?" She shoved him angrily. "Why did you leave? You were the only person I could talk to… the only one who didn't think I was crazy for loving a man that barely even acknowledged my presence, and only saved me because he felt that he needed to." Tears weld up in her eyes and she pushed him again. "You were… the only one who understood me…"

His hand slipped, the hammer hitting the marble floor hard, causing the end of it to break off and slide across the floor as he suddenly remembered her words during their fight the other day. He closed his eyes, distressed. Vincent was beginning to wonder if him leaving Tifa had caused the opposite effect of what he'd intended.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As Tifa stood in the kitchen doorway, ready to call him to breakfast, she noticed just how much justice the black, long-sleeved V-neck did Vincent. She could see how defined his physique truly was and she thanked Gaia that he'd finally gotten rid of that red, old, tattered cape.

His hair fell over his eyes as he bent down to pick up another wooden board, a nail hanging from his ruby red lips. Tifa had to take a deep breath to calm herself. It truly was a shame that this man didn't know just how gorgeous he was.

"Tifa," he said a little louder than he was used to. Vincent was standing now and staring at her expectantly.

"Huh?" She shook her head.

"The hammer." He pointed beside her.

Tifa looked down at a hammer that was lying beside her foot. She obliged and picked it up but on her way to give it to him, still shaken from her previous thoughts, she tripped on one of the boards. The hammer slipped from her fingers as she tried to catch herself and went flying in Vincent's direction at full speed.

Vincent moved quickly. He dodged the hammer and caught Tifa before she hit the floor, a grunt leaving his lips. She wasn't exactly the lightest person even though she was quite small in size.

She gasped softly upon impact and felt Vincent tense against her.

He tried to steady his breathing. Tifa made him nervous whenever they were this close. She always had ever since the first day they'd met, yet he still managed to always keep his composure... slightly. "Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine. I'm… normally… never clumsy like this. That's Yuffie's job," she laughed nervously. Tifa blushed when she realized that one of Vincent's hands was underneath her arm, dangerously close to grazing the side of her breast while the other was lightly gripping her hip. 'This just gets better and better,' she thought. Her hand absentmindedly moved from his stomach and up to rest on his chest, her fingernails leaving a light trail.

She'd almost missed it, she realized. The shudder that she'd caused with her touch. She tried to tell herself that it was nothing, but then she looked up at him. His eyes were closed and his eyebrows were furrowed much like how they were when he was battling with his inner demons.

His eyes slid open then, half-lidded, and he stared down at her. The hand that was resting on her hip hesitantly rose and buried its fingers in her hair. So much for keeping his composure.

Tifa stiffened and her heart rate accelerated. She hadn't even noticed how long she'd been waiting for this moment until he bent down and his lips were merely an inch away from hers. The feeling of his cinnamon scented, heated breath against her face and lips was intoxicating.

His thumb brushed against her cheek lightly, affectionately.

Tifa realized that all this time she'd been seeking to be treasured by a man that didn't even give her a second glance when the man who always lent her his shoulder without question did treasure her. And maybe that was the reason why he was hesitating now. Maybe he didn't want to make the mistake of giving his heart to someone else and being rejected again. He clarified these thoughts when he said...

"I've been in this situation before. It's all too familiar."

… and Tifa replied. Without out questioning why her body moved, she gently brushed her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I…"

Vincent stole the moment that her lips were parted to slide his tongue inside her mouth to taste her like he'd longed to do for so many years. When she responded by teasing his tongue with her own he shuddered more noticeably this time.

The raking of her fingernails were no longer accidental as she slowly clawed her way from the back of his neck and down his chest to the waist of his jeans, her fingernails, sliding over every defined line of hard muscle during heir path. "Vincent…," she breathed in ecstasy.

His fingers tugged gently on her hair, tilting her head to the side, giving him better access to her mouth. When she moaned he almost lost all control.

She shivered when the hand that had been holding her under her arm snaked its way underneath her breast and up in between the two mounds to bury its fingers in her hair as well. Tifa broke the kiss at that moment, her lips unintentionally brushing against his jaw as she lowered her head. She had experienced kisses before with Cloud, but there was nothing and no one that could compare to the way Vincent Valentine kissed.

He released a frustrated deep breath into her hair. "What… does this mean?" His voice was hoarse.

"I don't… know, but obviously… we're both on the same page," she said into his chest. "Or at least… I think we are."

They were both panting and confused.

Vincent's fingers were still buried in her hair and he lifted her head, so that their eyes met. "I want…," he began as his eyes drifted down to her lips.

"… to kiss… again…?" she breathed.

His eyes lowered further and he watched the rise and fall of her chest as he swallowed.

Her nipples were hard, and pressing against the inner material of her favorite leather zip-up top. Watching his eyes move lower, she prayed to Gaia that he didn't notice.

He did notice. His eyes closed briefly and he took a step away from her whilst removing his fingers from her hair. "You… should go finish breakfast."

Tifa couldn't believe the anger that boiled in her with that one sentence. He was trying to push her away again. "No," she said suddenly causing his eyes to open and widen slightly. "Don't you dare. After all I did to get here. Don't you dare." She knew she didn't have to explain when his eyes softened and closed again as he sighed.

"What you want from me..."

"You can't give," she finished for him with narrowed eyes. "Blah blah blah. I've heard it all before. I swear you've become so predictable over the years." Placing her hands on her hips and raising her chin like a scolding mother, she tried to untangle the mystery that was Vincent Valentine. "You just gave me part of it, so damn it, why can't you give all of it to me?"

"What," he bit out as he took a step towards her. "... do you want me to say, Tifa?" Even when he was angry he always managed to keep a level tone, but there was a sharpness to it. A sharpness that had the ability to make Tifa shiver. "That I left because of...," he paused, his eyebrows knitting together.

A small sliver of hope surfaced in her eyes. "Because of what?"

The muscle in his jaw tightened when he realized he'd almost slipped and told her the truth.

She wanted him to be honest with her for once... and she knew how to get the truth out of him... even if it made him hate her. "It's because of... Lucrecia, isn't it?" She'd never felt so vulnerable under a stare in her entire life, but she continued anyway when he didn't respond. "How much longer do I have to suffer for some dead..."

Almost as soon as she'd said the word 'dead', she was slammed up against the wall behind her, his hands gripping her arms roughly. "Did you think," he breathed. "... that I couldn't... smell him on you? You want to bring up my past? Well, let's bring up yours."

She was trembling now. Whether it was from fear or anger, she didn't know. But what she did know was that she'd never seen Vincent snap before. "That's... none of your business...," she said as she freed one of her arms from his grasp and her hand connected harshly with his cheek. A gasp suddenly escaped her lips a moment later at the realization that she'd just slapped him. "Vincent..."

Vincent's grip on her still restrained arm loosened and his hand eventually dropped to her side. His head had snapped to the side at the force of her slap, and he closed his eyes out of irritation, releasing a deep, calming breath.

Tifa dared to meet his eyes when they began to glare down at her... that was when it hit her... is he... is he jealous? She could see so many different emotions in his . There was more to it then just jealousy. She knew that. He wasn't just afraid. He was terrified.

"I've been in this situation before. It's all too familiar."

"... but my past... is yours," he asked softly this time, almost painfully. Just how long were you going to lead me on and not tell me? His grip on her arm loosened and his hands eventually dropped to her sides.

She closed her eyes briefly as she gained courage. "... It was only once... but when it happened... I... saw you." Her cheeks tinted slightly. "It was the day before you said you were going to leave... but before I could tell you how I... felt... you'd already...," she released a deep breath, refusing to cry this time. "I... was stupid, okay? It was stupid of me to chase someone so far away when I had someone right in front of me that already..."

With a long sigh he placed his hands on either side of her head and leaned down to bury his face in her neck. "I... dislike how I have... no control over my emotions whenever... you're around."

Her eyes widened, and she shuddered at the feel of his breath and the rumble of his voice against her neck. "V-Vincent..."

He scoffed dryly which was his own little way of laughing and his hands balled into tight fists beside her head. "I have closed myself off for so long, and when I decide to tear down my walls one last time...," he pulled away from her and turned around, his eyes closed in contemplation. "I need... some time...," he didn't give Tifa the option to object before he was already out the door.

When the front door closed, Tifa leaned her head back against the wall, tears falling from her eyes as she slowly slid down the wall to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. I know how in pain you are now. I only wish I'd known it sooner.

"Uhm... excuse me?"

Tifa turned to look towards the front door where one of Vincent's neighbors stood with a tray of two blueberry pies. She quickly wiped her eyes, sniffed casually and stood. "Hello. May I help you?"

"I brought you those pies I promised," she glanced at Tifa and hesitantly entered the house. "Wait... where's Vincent?"

"He stepped out for a minute. I'm his friend, Tifa. Can I help you?" She reached out to grab the tray of pies from the woman, and was happy when she handed it to her. Tifa set them down on the table full of tools right beside her, and turned her attention back to the woman.

"Oh. Hello. I'm Ivy." She smiled brightly, and held out her hand which Tifa shook and returned her smile. "I'd heard he had company, but I refused to believe it simply because he normally keeps to himself. The people in the village have been trying to keep him from being a hermit crab for years." Ivy laughed softly. "But, you see," she began as her laughter died down and she became slightly serious. "My husband can't stop thanking him for saving our daughter's life. If he hadn't of been there I don't know what would've happened to her."

"He saved your daughter?" Tifa asked gently.

Ivy nodded and smiled brightly. "He did. With everything that happened in Midgar some of the monsters have migrated to around our village, and have been causing quite a bit of trouble." She looked at Tifa curiously, tapping her index finger against her chin. "Speaking of which, I'm surprised you guys even found this place. We're not even on the map."

"I noticed," Tifa replied on a sigh. "Vincent's always been... good... at picking hiding spots."

Ivy giggled. "Aren't most men?"

Tifa giggled along with her. "That's very true, unfortunately."

"I've noticed over the years that they always run away from the things that they love the most. I don't know, maybe that's the knew way for men to show their love now a days." Ivy frowned slightly as she looked off into a corner and lifted her hand to play with the ring on her wedding finger. "It took my husband ten years to finally marry me. He was always running off on errands which I guess helped him to clear his head, but I always knew he loved me. I didn't even have to ask if he did."

Tifa lowered her eyes to the floor as Cloud drifted through her mind. No. He never loved me. He only kept protecting me, because he felt obligated to. "Did... did he ever come visit you?"

"Almost every month," she said with a nod. "Well, he tried, at least. He tried to love me in the best way he knew how."

The best way he knew... how? Tifa stayed quiet as she listened, only to have Ivy's words fade and her thoughts take over.

Tifa was busy cleaning the rest of the dishes when the bell above the door to the Seventh Heaven jingled. "I'm sorry, but we're...," she looked up and lost her breath. "... closed." His eyes were hidden behind a pair of goggles, and he approached the bar slowly almost as if he wanted to savor the feeling of being there once again. However, Tifa knew better. When she spoke again, her words weren't the kind words that he'd become used to over the years."What are you doing here?"

He paused before reaching the bar... indecision, guilt, sadness, and fear holding him back. "Tifa... I..."

Her eyebrows knitted together. Not just from anger, but from contemplating on the real reason he was here. "Here to spread more empty promises? Or has your conscience finally kicked in?"

His mouth opened and then closed. "No." Sighing as he removed his goggles, his eyes roamed around the Seventh Heaven before meeting her auburn eyes. "I... came to apologize. All these years... I was wrong. The way I treated you was wrong... and I'm sorry."

She almost dropped the glass she was holding at the sound of the word 'sorry' and 'wrong' slipping from his lips all at once. "W-What?" Her eyes widened in disbelief as she subconsciously leaned on the bar for support.

His blue eyes saddened. "I'm home... and I... love you."

That was all she needed to regain her strength. "No...," she began. "... no you don't. If you did you wouldn't be gone for so long. You would answer the phone when I want or need to talk to you. You would be here to help me and the kids. You... you don't love me." She smiled sadly. "You never have. Not the way you love her. So, please. I'm begging you, Cloud. Don't give me anymore false hope."

Cloud's head lowered. "I understand. I couldn't have expected you to wait for me forever." His eyes rose to meet hers once more. "Nor the kids."

Tifa nodded. "You're welcome to stay if you like though. After all, the kids do still look up to you."

"I... I don't think that's best..."

"Of course you don't," was the only response she could give him... at that moment.

It didn't matter what you did or said... people don't change. They may change their habits, even the ones that are hard to break but they will never change the way they think, act, and handle a situation even if they end up hurting those around them. Tifa smiled and nodded along to everything Ivy said even though she wasn't fully paying attention.

"Anyways, enough about me," Ivy said on a laugh. "There's a masquerade ball coming up, and I was wondering if you and Vincent are going to go. It's gonna be a blast, and you two won't regret it." She smiled and clasped her hands together. "Vincent seems rather shy, so he might not go. Maybe you could persuade him? The villagers really like him. Well, those that know of him anyway."

"Uhm... sure. I'll let you know. When's the ball?"

"It's tomorrow night at nine o'clock."

"I'm sure that gives us enough time to put some outfits together. I'll see if I can get him to go."

Ivy's smile brightened. "That's great. Well, I have to go. The children will be home from school soon. It was a pleasure meeting you though Tifa, and I hope to see you around more often... and at the ball too." She winked before waving and heading out the door.

Tifa stood there awkwardly after she'd left and glanced around her. She didn't know when Vincent would be back and she wasn't hungry anymore, so she figured that the first step to making things right would be to help get the place in order again.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Vincent had heard Ivy come and go. He was laying on the roof staring up at the sky. The conversation between Tifa and Ivy... knowing Tifa she'd try to make him go... and he'd have a hard time saying no. His eyes slid shut, and he rested his forearm over them. He always had a hard time saying no to her. And no matter how hard he tried he could never stop thinking about her. Before he'd met her he hadn't known that anyone on Gaia could possess a heart like hers... kind, forgiving, unselfish, honest and loving... so loving.

A memory crossed his mind of when they'd had their first real conversation... he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since that day...

He was leaning up against the wall just outside of the Chocobo stables, his eyes closed, apparently deep in thought. Tifa approached him cautiously not wanting to frighten him, but she knew Vincent couldn't be scared so easily.

Sephiroth was finally dead. They'd saved the planet. Everyone was ecstatic and celebrating with Cid in the kitchen, but Vincent... no one had seen Vincent since they'd boarded the ship, and Tifa knew that something was wrong. When she was finally standing directly in front of him, she watched as his eyes slowly opened to stare down at her, calmly, waiting for her to speak first. "Why aren't you celebrating with us?"

He blinked and trained his gaze on the floor between them, his eyebrows furrowing. "It... it doesn't... bother you?" There was still a slight innocence to Vincent that he probably didn't even realize he possessed, and whoever had the pleasure of seeing it should redeem themselves lucky, like Tifa did right now.

"What?" She didn't understand what he'd meant at first, but then she remembered when he'd transformed into Chaos before her very eyes. She'd only heard tales of the demon when she was a child and to see it in person was something she'd never forget... because of how stunning the demon was. "No. Actually, I thought your transformation was beautiful." She smiled softly. "We're all different, Vincent. That's why we're a team."

"Beautiful," he repeated as his eyes slid closed. "You don't have to lie to me. I'm..."

You have no idea, ran through her mind. Grabbing his hand, her smile grew. "I don't lie about things like this."

His eyes opened and met hers in an instant and his head lowered, his face becoming even harder to see.

Tifa knew from observing him that this was one of the ways he would shut people out. He was going to leave, and probably wouldn't speak to her again. Why? Because she was being honest? "Don't shut me out, Vincent. I'm only telling you what I feel. You can believe me or not, but what I said came from the bottom of my heart. I think you're amazing."

"You know no-..."

"I know enough," she instantly cut him off. "I know enough to know that you're a good guy, and that you were put in a bad situation like the rest of us." She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward a little, tilting her head to the side. "And I'd like to be your friend if you'd let me."

Liar, continuously ran through his mind as he watched her with suspicious eyes.

"Now stop being silly and come on. Everyone's waiting." She quickly grabbed his hand and made an attempt at dragging him to where the celebration was.

An all too familiar voice interrupted Vincent's thoughts at that moment...

"She's not lying."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

(A/N): Hope you enjoyed! Please Review and tell me your thoughts. :)