Hey this is my first shot at X-Files fan fiction, so don't be too mean. I just watched all 9 seasons in about 2 weeks. This one goes out to my friend Jade, who convinced me that what scared me to death as a 2 year old might not be so scary now that we can drive. Thanks, girl, cause you were sure as hell right!
The first time he says it, she's sure that it's the drugs talking. He had just returned from his little adventure in the Bermuda Triangle and the doctors had pumped who-knows-what into his system. He's telling her that he went to 1939 and that she saved the world (but she's not arguing with that part). And then, out of nowhere, he just blurts it out. "I love you. Her first reaction is annoyance. How dare he play around with her like this? Maybe it's just a game to him, but it's not to her. As she's walking down the hospital corridor, she allows herself to ponder the thought that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't joking around. But she shakes that theory from her head and continues.
He returns to work a few days later, and she doesn't bring it up. Neither does he, and she figures he's forgotten. He was pretty out of it.
The next time he says it is (when she didn't even think it was possible) more random than the first. It's about a month later and they've returned to their old motto of "let's just pretend like that never happened and maybe it will go away". It's pouring outside, even from the basement they can tell that, and the thunderstorm is predicted to get worse in an hour or so. She supposes she should go home a little early to beat the worst of it, and tells him so.
"Okay," he agrees, nodding and continues with a stack of paperwork on his desk.
Scully's surprised to say the least, that he's even doing his share of paperwork for once (but she's not about to complain about this either). She gathers up her jacket and purse, glad now that she brought an umbrella today, and turns to leave.
She's reaching for the doorknob when Mulder speaks up again. "Drive safe. I love you." Just like that.
She doesn't even realize it at first, then stops and turns around slowly, nearly positive that she heard him wrong. In a typical Mulder fashion, he's busy scribbling down little notes and shuffling papers around as if nothing has just happened. Fine, she thinks. She'll play along. "I love you too," she replies. He looks up now, smiles at her as his eyes light up in that way they do when he's truly happy.
"Bye," he tells her, nonchalant again but still showing off that adorable grin of his.
"Bye," she repeats. She's unable to keep the smile of her own face, and he catches just a glimpse of it as she turns to leave.
After that, they start saying it a lot. "A lot" meaning once a week maybe. But that's a lot for them. At first, it's always Mulder initiating it; he'll call it out after her as she's leaving the office or whisper it in her ear when they haven't seen each other in a while ("a while" meaning 2 maybe 3 days which it, again, a lot for them). But after a few times, she starts saying it first sometimes too. One time they accidentally say it in front of Skinner. The confessions have become so commonplace by that time that they forget that "I love you" usually means that you're in a non-platonic relationship with the person you're saying it to. Sometimes, though she'll never tell, she wishes this were the case with her and Mulder. A lot of times, actually.
She's 100% sure that their boss heard them, but they can't really gauge his reaction because he ducks out of the room and none of them are ever, ever going to bring it up. That, she's sure of.
Then, 5 months and 14 days after he first told her that he loved her (not that she's been counting…), she has a nightmare. Usually, she just calls him up and she's fine after hearing his voice. But usually, she doesn't dream of Donnie Phaster. It's far too vivid to be just a dream; she's convinced until she reminds herself that she doesn't believe in that stuff. And when he asks "Do you want to me to come over?" she simply can't resist.
She sits on the couch waiting for him, jumping and reaching for her gun at every little creak or footstep in the hallway. 'You live in an apartment', she reminds herself. 'It's probably just that guy down the hall coming home drunk again'. She nearly shoots him when he walks in, and she wonders if he regrets coming over here. But all her little doubts are forgotten when he sits down next to her. She hasn't slept well and she's not accustomed to being really, truly scared. That's what she tells herself when she repeats the entire dream for him in great detail. Mulder is so sweet to her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back and whispering little nothings into her ear while holding her to him. This goes on for a minute or two, so she's nearly drunk with his scent when she lifts her head and whispers "I love you" to him as he presses a kiss to her forehead.
"I love you too," he responds, as usual.
Scully shakes her head, pulling away from him a little, messy red hair spilling down from her loose ponytail. "No," she argues. He looks confused and before she can stop herself, the lack of sleep and close proximity to Mulder take over. "I mean I'm in love with you." Her tone is accidentally identical to his when he professed her love for her that night in his hospital bed.
Mulder graces her with that smile again. "Well that's good," he tells her, "because I'm in love with you too."
She grins back now, chuckling because (after so many years of tactically avoiding this exact exchange) it wasn't as scary as she built it up in her mind to be. "C'mon," he stands up and pulls her up too, "let's go to bed." Scully's face is absolutely priceless. Shock, panic and, if he looks hard enough, excitement. But she's exhausted and probably still a little shaken up from that dream and he'd rather undergo alien probing and torture before he took advantage of her. "Not like that," he explains quickly, laughing to himself at her reaction.
He takes her hand and leads her to her bedroom, smiling when he thinks of how different this is than what he imagined their first time sharing a bed would be like. But there's plenty of time for that, they both know. So he pulls back the covers and spoons up behind her after she crawls under them. Once she feels how warm his body is pressed against her back, she knows she'll never be able to sleep alone again.
"Good night, Love," Mulder whispers, placing a light kiss to the back of her neck.
"Night," Scully replies, sleep already taking over as she realizes that she's safe now. She starts to think about where they would be right now if she hadn't accepted his offer to come over, or if she would have left out the word "in" just minutes earlier. What a difference two letters can make.
Hate it? Love it? Think it's wierd for a 16 year old girl to be watching a show from the 90's? I wanna hear about it! Reviews=my life.