Hey guys! So that quote that I used for the summary is going to be in a later chapter. The full summary could possibly be something like this:

Summary: Senior year at Hollywood Arts. Beck and Jade are making plans for their future, but some things don't go the way they planned. Jade is holding a secret that no one, not even Beck, knows. But Beck might be hiding something as well...

Yes, this is a self-harm fiction. No, it is not exactly like all the others. I've only read a couple of fics like this, so I apologize if this resembles any of them too much. I thought this up and felt like I needed to write it. It's definitely not my best.

I wrote this and deleted it three times before I came up with this, but I'm still not satisfied. I've been promising my readers this for a while, though, and I think this is the best that I've written so far.

A note: I know that a lot of people like Tori and she's the main character in the show and all, but I really don't like her. At all. Main characters are always portrayed as too perfect for me. So I'm sorry if anything mean or terrible is said about her.

I'll stop now. That's a lot of stuff. Read and review. Constructive criticism is welcomed, as long as it makes sense.

Jade stared at the envelope lying in front of her. This envelope had just come in her mailbox today from Juilliard in New York. She and Beck had both applied a couple of months ago, and the school was supposed to be replying with whether or not they got an audition. The answer was just inside this envelope.

"Ready to open them?" Beck was sitting on the opposite couch holding his envelope as well.

Jade shook her head. She didn't know if she could ever gather up the courage to open the letter. When she had applied, she felt that there was no way that she could be denied because, after all, she was the most talented girl in her grade. But now that the question about her future was about to be answered, she couldn't bring herself to believe that she was really good enough to make it. She suddenly felt like she didn't have any talent and all those years of working herself to death were worth nothing.

"I can't do it," she murmured. She shifted on the couch so that she was sitting cross-legged staring at her envelope, the first movement that she had made all night.

Beck watched her for a few seconds, but she was quiet. She was obviously not planning on moving or talking anytime soon. He sighed and climbed off the couch, crawling across the floor of his RV toward Jade, who was sitting on the opposite couch. "Jade, look at me." He raised her head up so that she was looking him in the eyes, and he took her hands in his. "We're going to open those envelopes, and we're both going to get auditions. We're going to New York, and we're going to blow their minds. They won't turn us down. I promise."

"But how can you be so sure?" Jade had never felt this unconfident. She had always held her head up high and walked with purpose, but now she felt like she was nothing. There was no way that that envelope could hold good news for her.

"Because they'd be stupid to turn you down." Beck smiled a little at her, and for a few seconds, she felt oddly comforted. It was rare that Jade and Beck ever had these sweet moments where they could just sit and be nice to each other. Most of the time, they were arguing about something and were too stubborn to back down. But right now, this was nice.

Jade felt her confidence pouring back into her, and she smirked. "They would be stupid if they turned me down. Damn it, I'm the best actress at Hollywood Arts. I'm going to be on Broadway in a few years."

Beck smiled widely and kissed her on the forehead. "See, that's what I thought. Now we're going to open them and read them, even though we know that we're both going to New York for that audition." He walked back over to the other couch and grabbed his envelope, ripping it open and pulling out the letter. "Are you ready?"

Jade ripped her envelope open as well, pulling out the letter and nodding. The RV was silent for the next few seconds as they both read their letters quietly. Finally, Beck let out a relieved breath and said, "I got an audition. What about you?"

Jade looked up at him with watery blue eyes, seeming like she was about to cry. She shook her head and dropped the envelope at her side. "No, I didn't get an audition."

Beck's smile fell, and he suddenly felt awful. He had promised her that she would get an audition. He had promised her the future that she had always dreamed of. And now it seemed like he had made an empty promise. How could they not accept Jade?

"Are you…are you serious?" he asked, throwing his letter down and taking slow steps toward her. He knew that at times like this when she didn't get her way, she typically threw things and hit him.

Jade got up from the couch and walked toward him, closing the space between them. He was only inches away from her. He looked nervous, and he started to back away from her. The smallest of smiles formed on her lips as she shook her head. "Of course I'm not serious. I have an audition. But I had you believing me, right?" She paused, but didn't give him time to answer. "That's because I'm the best actress at Hollywood Arts. And I'm going to be the very first person they accept into their school this year."

Beck smiled a little as he pulled her into a hug. He was about to say something, but she shoved him away and punched him in the shoulder. Instead of expressing his excitement, he let out a string of cuss words and glared at her. "What the hell was that for?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Don't hug me. What made you turn into such a pansy?"

At first, Beck thought that she had completely lost her mind, but as the pain in his shoulder subsided, he laughed. "I'm so sorry that you don't like hugs and you have a black soul." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss, and just as she started trying to take his shirt off, he pulled away from her and began to sing. "I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it."

Jade's eyes widened as she watched him. He was starting to dance now, and she really wasn't sure if this was a hidden enjoyment of his or if he was just trying to annoy her. "Beck, stop it. That's embarrassing. How do you even know the words to that song?"

Beck danced over to where she was and attempted to twirl her, but she threw his hand off of her and crossed her arms, looking utterly disgusted with him. "I'm about to lose control and I think I like it," he continued to sing.

"You disgust me."

"I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!"

"Do you have a hidden love for annoying music?"

Beck stopped for a second to look at her. She was obviously annoyed. That only meant that he was doing what he intended to do in the first place. "But I have a right to be excited, you see because we're going to…" A small grin formed on his face, and that couldn't be a good sign. "Neeeeeeeeeeew Yooooooooooork! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do-"

"I'm leaving you." With the most serious look on her face, Jade grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

Beck, however, intercepted. "Nooooooooooooo! You're not leaving. Because despite my terrible singing and dancing skills, you love me."

Jade glared at him for several seconds, but then she sighed and sat back down on the couch. "Fine. But if you're going to sing anything, at least make it a good song."

Jade fell asleep to his singing that night, and it honestly wasn't that bad. Her dreams were invaded with spotlights and stages and millions of people screaming her name. She could just visualize that audition in New York, and in just a few more years, she would be the biggest name on Broadway. And hey, if she wanted to dream really big, maybe she would be the world's most famous movie star. Oh, yes. She couldn't wait.