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(Crack! Starring Jazz, Sideswipe, Wheeljack, Ironhide, Mirage, Optimus, Prowl and the ARK crew! enjoy!)

"Prowl is SIC" snorted Jazz "He must have some fighting skills other than a superpower to get through twice as much paperwork as the rest of us in one orn."

"So He's a desk jockey, so what? Optimus has the Matrix of Leadership, he would so totally trash Prowl" argued Sideswipe as they bantered over afternoon energon "Plus the dude is huge!"

"Mechs… do we have to argue about this again?" groaned Wheeljack as he rubbed his optics in exasperation

"Come on Wheeljack, who do think would win in a fight between Prowl and Optimus?" Jazz prompted as the engineer took a half sparked swig of his energon, doodling on a schematic with a stylus at the table across from them.

"Well… I'd have to go with Optimus" Wheeljack said after bringing up the two mech's frame designs on his data-pad "Prowl is more built for enforcer duties, which he did on Cybertron before the war started plus those sensor panels would hinder him and possibly loose him the match if they were grabbed and tugged. Optimus had a much blockier frame, suited for lifting and heavy duty battling though it does have a few weak points. No, Optimus it is"

Just then Ironhide trod into the Rec-Room grumbling about his shift on coms duty

"Fine" Jazz declared "Let's match fire power then. Yo! Ironhide! Get over here!"

The rust red mech looked up in surprise at the trio sitting with a data-pad between them, notes crisscrossing its surface. "What are you three doing here? I thought the Rec-Room is normally empty this time of day."

"I was bored" Jazz shrugged "I am taking a break from my paperwork"

"I'm skiving patrol duty" Sideswipe grinned

"I am locked out of my lab" Wheeljack huffed his colour indicators flashing a displeased ruby "Ratchet had a hissy fit at me this morning about my 'incredible ability to blow up 9,10-diphenylanthracene unintentionally, 'as usual'. I swear I was only trying to make glow sticks"

"What?" Ironhide asked the engineer as he sat down beside a snickering Jazz.

"He was fiddling with ingredients that make blue glow sticks, it's actually quite cool, he glows in the dark now,as the stuff exploded all over him" Jazz laughed as Wheeljack shot him a glare

"We are trying to figure out who would win in a match with Optimus against Prowl. We figured that if it came down to strength Optimus would win, we need fire power information" Sideswipe said eagerly his stylus at the ready, drawing a squiggly line off of Prowl and Optimus' frames to insert information

"Well, I'm in Prowl's corner" Ironhide shrugged as the others gave him looks of disbelief "He has two shoulder mounted missile launchers, a gun that fires normal rounds as well as acid pellets and he has a two dual energon blades from his enforcer days, though he only uses them in emergencies. However Optimus does have his blaster, though that is basically a cannon to mechs like us… hum… nope, I'm going to go with Prowl."

"Ha, two-two" Jazz snickered as Sideswipe grudgingly wrote down the information and marked another line in a tally box at the bottom of the screen against Prowl's name.

"Couldn't you just ask them?" Mirage asked flickering into view sending the mechs sitting at the table sky high in fright.

"Damn it Mirage!" Jazz grumbled putting away his illegal energon dagger back into his subspace "What have I told you about that!"

"Only do it when somebody isn't expecting it" the blue and white noble said with a smile before it dropped into a thoughtful expression "wait… that was what you told me to do after you gave me that tedious lecture"

"I give up" Jazz groaned slamming his helm into the Rec-Room table "And we can't just ask them. I can imagine how that would go… Hello Prime, please have a grudge match with your SIC in the Training Room so we can see which one of you kicks more aft, we'd be sent to the brig before you could say 'Megatron in a fluffy tutu'"

"Mirage, who would you say was more intelligent? Prowl or Prime?" asked Wheeljack stealing the data-pad from Sideswipe and drawing a line from each of the frame schematic's helms

"Prowl, not even close" Mirage said after little deliberation leaning curiously over Wheeljack's back fin "Since when has Prime managed to plan my way out of Darkmount on a mission that was liable to get me discovered and deactivated? I vote Prowl"

"Three-Two to Prowl! Jazz cheered earning sour glares from Wheeljack and Sideswipe.

"Wait a minute!" Wheeljack said suddenly his indicators flashing white as if both of his colour indicators were those randomly appearing light bulbs that cartoon characters got when an idea came to them "I have an idea!"

-Optimus' POV-

His men were giving him strange looks.

Some were scanning him carefully then making notes on spare data-pads, before scampering off with sneaky smiles on their face-plates.

He made his way into Prowl's office, watching as Hound wandered thoughtfully from the room and like the rest of the crew took out a data-pad and began to furiously scribble with a stylus. "Prowl" he acknowledged as he strode into the room, his SIC's helm snapping up, blue optics normally cold and hard, alive with annoyance.

"Prime, why are you sending everybody to me today?" the Datsun snapped doorwings flaring in agitation

"I haven't seen anybody today" Optimus denied tilting his helm in curiosity

"Then why is Hound the fifteenth member of the ARK to have seen me this afternoon?" the tactician grumbled "even Red Alert and Inferno stopped by!"

"Have you heard from Jazz?" Optimus asked a frown forming behind his faceplate, if anybody knew what happened in the ARK, Jazz was the mech to talk to.

"No, and he skipped on our afternoon chess match" Prowl said offhandedly having a sneaky suspicion his friend was up to something. He reached up to the side of his helm activating his comm. link "Jazz, report to my office" he demanded sharply

"Wait a minute Prowler" Jazz replied "I'm in the middle of something… there! Okay come to the Rec-Room!"

Prowl sighed and resigned himself to whatever scheme Jazz had thought up, "He requests that we join him in the Rec-Room Prime"

"Alright" Optimus rumbled as his SIC joined him on the trek to the large area near the back of the ARK.

The corridors were silent, not even Red Alert's camera rotated in their sockets as they cautiously halted just beyond the Rec-Rooms doors.

"Let's just get this over with" Prowl grumbled striding into the Rec-Room followed by his Prime only to get accosted by Jazz leaping from his chair

"You made it!" the saboteur grinned like an overgrown sparkling dragging his Datsun friend to the couch in front of the TV where the entire ARK was sitting viewing with rapt attention. Prime was shoved into a seat beside a smug looking Ratchet while Bluestreak giggled and chatted to Prowl as Wheeljack managed to press the play button on his contraption fitted onto the TV.

"Welcome to the Comparison Simulator" the TV announced "You have inserted all available information on chosen subjects?"

Bumblebee scooted forward and pressed the green yes button.

"Battle comparison is between Autobot SIC Prowl and Autobot faction Leader Optimus Prime. Simulating…"

"What?" Prowl nearly shrieked echoed by Prime's alarmed rumble

"This will be why they were so intent on scribbling on those data-pads of theirs" Prowl sulked as his virtual likeness managed to dodge on of the simulated Prime's heavy fists and retaliate using his energon swords

"It's actually pretty accurate" Optimus observed as his simulated self grabbed one of Prowl's doorwings and managed to rip it off "If not a little gruesome"

"Prime I wiped the floor with your skid plate yesterday" Prowl retorted crossing his arms smugly as his character managed to land a hit on Prime's character's plating. The ARK crew making noises of 'ohh' 'ahh' and 'ouch' when appropriate as the characters of their commanding officers tore each other to pieces ignoring the real ones having a good natured banter over their sparring match last night "Cyber Ninja, remember?"

"Battle simulation over" the TV announced as it flashed with the fateful words 'Prowl Wins!' across its screen Prowl's character jumping up and down with a cute grin across its face with Prime's sad severed helm dangling from its grasp.

"Ha!" Jazz grinned as most mechs looked over at their Prime with something akin to betrayal "Pay up Sides! I told you Prowler kicks aft!"