SUMMARY: Ianto takes care of Mica and David when Rhi and Johnny have to go to London for a couple of days.
RATING: G/PG

A/N Wrtten for redisourcolor on LJ - Challenge 14 - Theme: Cooking? Kitchen disaster? Kitchen alienware? Words: condign, shower gel, expel, phrase: "Look. A map of Cardiff. Isn't it brilliant?"

Ianto sighed. How did he keep getting himself roped into this? He didn't mind babysitting once in a while so Rhi and Johnny could have a pub night, but now he was playing full time nanny for two days.

And it didn't help that Jack was so good natured about it. No dramatic 'what will I do without you,' but rather a chaste kiss followed by a teasing slap on the arse completed with a 'have fun, see you tomorrow, behave yourself tonight.'

Still it wasn't like Johnny and Rhi were out for a few days of fun. Rather, they were on their way to London to attend the wake and funeral of Johnny's great aunt Eloise. Johnny had never impressed Ianto as a sentimental sort of bloke, but Rhi confided that he was completely devastated by the loss of his departed father's only sibling.

The first day started quietly enough. Ianto stayed over Wednesday night so that Rhi and Johnny could get an early start before the roads got crowded. Mica and David had school on Thursday and seemed to know what needed to be done to get ready. They washed and dressed while Ianto made breakfast for them all. The children gaped when they saw the spread Ianto had prepared.

"Cor, we normally get toast and cereal for breakfast," David said in awe. "Shame we only have five minutes before we have to catch the bus." David grabbed two pieces of toast, stuffed some scrambled egg in between and began to inhale his food. Mica was a fussy eater and with a little cajoling Ianto was able to get her to have some toast and a single tablespoon of eggs.

"Come on Mica, we're going to miss the bus," David yelled as he put on his coat and then helped Mica on with hers.

"But what about breakfast?" Ianto said as he looked at all the food that hadn't been touched.

Mica grabbed a banana and David snatched his half eaten egg sandwich and stuffed it in his coat pocket. "Thanks Uncle Ianto," the kids yelled in unison as they ran out the front door just as a school bus pulled up at the end of the street.

Ianto packed up the breakfast leftovers, got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and drove into work. He would only work until around 3 pm so he'd be home when the children returned from school.

He had barely arrived at the Hub and unpacked the breakfast, (which the rest of the team devoured like a starving wolf pack), when his cell rang. It was David's school. He had science project due and his teacher was calling to see why David hadn't brought his in.

'I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clutterbuck, David's parents had to go to London for a funeral and they didn't tell me he had a project due today."

"So, are you the secret agent David is always going on about?"

"Well, I don't know if I'd say that…"

"He's always going on about how suave you are, and how expensive your suits are."

Ianto looked down at his jeans and rubbed his hand across his unshaven face. "What time did you….no noon will be fine…yes second floor science classroom number four. Thank you. See you later."

It was already ten o'clock. He had just enough time to shower, shave and dress, but picking up the project would be cutting it close. Then David called him and told him that he planning on doing the final assembly that morning but he forgot.

"Well I don't know if I should be finishing your homework for you."

"But Uncle Ianto," David whined, "I won't pass the course if I don't hand my project in on time. Tad was going to help me, but then with him going to London he forgot." Ianto calmed David and got the details of what needed to be done to complete the project.

"Don't worry David I'll get it together and there on time." He hung up the phone trying to figure out what he should do first.

Fortunately Tosh and Jack had overheard the conversation and wanted to help.

"I'll go over to your sister's and put the project together," Tosh volunteered. "You get ready and then meet me over there."

"Take Ianto's car," Jack suggested. "I'll drive him over in an hour and take you back to the Hub."

Ianto showered and shaved and put on the spare suit he kept at the Hub. Not his favorite, but it would have to do.

"Ianto, you look ten times nicer than anything that school's seen in years. Stop worrying," Jack teased as he drove them over to Rhi and Johnny's house.

"I'm not worrying," Ianto replied as he called Tosh to see how the project assembly was going.

Tosh sighed as she answered her cell. "Ianto, you don't have to call every five minutes. I've got it put together. It works fine. I'm just wrapping it up so you can get it to the school in one piece." As she hung up the phone, she grinned to herself. She'd made a slight enhancement to the project. David was sure to get full marks for this.

Ianto delivered the science project with a few minutes to spare. Mrs. Clutterbuck seemed suitably impressed and flirted outrageously with Ianto until he excused himself saying he had to get back to work.

Ianto drove back to the Hub hoping to get a few things done before he would have to go back to his sister's house. About an hour after he was back at work, Ianto's cell rang as he sat in the tourist office writing a report. It was Mrs. Clutterbuck and she was not amused.

"When David lit his plaster of Paris volcano I did not expect that chunks of flaming rock would start spewing out of it and go flying all over the room. The children were screaming and someone could have been seriously hurt."

It took almost a half hour of pleading from Ianto to get her to agree not to expel David. "I helped him put the project together, I'm sure it was something I did wrong. No of course he wouldn't have access to dangerous explosives."

It didn't seem like she wasn't going to budge until Ianto pulled out the desperate Uncle card. "Please Mrs. Clutterbuck, if his parents find out, they'll never let me take care of him again." He sniffed dramatically. "And they're my only family," Ianto said as he pretended to sob.

Finally she relented. She agreed to give David a middle passing grade and that she wouldn't say anything to his parents. Thanking her profusely Ianto ended the call.

"Tosh," Ianto yelled as he came through the cog wheel door, "I need to speak with you…NOW."

The children arrived home a little before four. Ianto had some milk and cookies for them but David was too excited to eat.

"You should have seen it Uncle Ianto, sparks started coming out and then fiery rocks shot all over the room and they set some papers on fire. Ratsy Rickenbacker opened his water bottle and tossed it at the fire. His aim was off and the water splashed all over Mrs. Clutterbuck. Then the headmaster came in with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out. It was brilliant!"

Ianto shook his head. "I'm so sorry David. I'll explain to your parents about your grade."

"Please don't Uncle Ianto; I've never done so well in science before. I usually get the lowest passing grade, Tad will be so proud."

For just a moment Ianto thought his head would explode like a volcano. He took a calming breath. "Fair enough David, we'll just keep it between us."

Ianto got Mica and David off to school the next day without any fuss. The children had cereal and milk and Ianto was at the Hub by nine.

Tosh met him as he came in through the tourist office. She had a bag of his favorite breakfast rolls and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I'm so sorry Ianto. Is there anything I can do? I could go to the school and explain…"

Ianto snorted. "That won't be necessary, Tosh. Seems a middle passing grade is a cause for great celebration at the Davies house, so I should probably have brought breakfast for you."

Tosh smiled with relief. "Well that's good then?"

"Quite good. So tell me, how many science labs did you manage to destroy when you were a kid."

"Only two," Tosh said laughing. "Did I ever tell you about the time in middle school when I tried to create my own version of fireworks? Nearly burnt the school down."

"I'm shocked Tosh, totally and utterly shocked," Ianto snarked.

The rest of the day passed quietly. No calls from schools from angry teachers or from Mica and David. Ianto left around three-thirty and headed over to his sister's. The children were home watching the TV.

"Everything good at school today?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever," David answered not even bothering to look away from the program. Mica was silent, but Ianto noticed she was sucking her thumb.

He went into the kitchen and cooked dinner. Just some spaghetti and meatballs, nothing fancy. David dug in but Mica poked at her food with a frown on her face.

"Mica, did anything happen at school today that you want to tell me about?" Ianto asked gently.

Mica looked over at Ianto and began to cry. "I had a very bad day at school. The teacher asked me to show on a map where I live and I didn't know." Mica began to sob. "Mam always helps me with my homework, and she's not here, and I don't know where I live." She slapped her hand down on the kitchen table in frustration catching the edge of her plate. The plate tipped and all of her spaghetti slid off the plate and onto her lap.

Mica wailed. Ianto went over and cleaned up her clothes as best he could. She was still crying so Ianto picked her up in his arms shushing her quietly. "Its just some food, we've got more, nothing to be upset about."

David looked like he was going to say something smart but when he saw the look on Ianto's face he decided not to push his luck. "I think I'll just go and watch some TV," he said as he took his plate and headed over to the lounge.

"And then Bryan pulled on my hair and said I was stupid," Mica continued as she buried her head on Ianto's shoulder.

"You certainly are not stupid," Ianto said as he sat down in the kitchen with her on his lap." He rocked her gently until her crying subsided. "Did the teacher do anything to Bryan?"

Mica smiled in satisfaction. "He had to sit in the corner for an hour!"

"Well that's certainly a condign punishment." Ianto hesitated but finally asked, "Mica, why didn't you ask me to help you with the map?"

"I forgot. I always forget. Mam asks me every day after school, 'do you have any maths homework; do you have any geography homework, do you have any spelling homework,' and then I remember."

Ianto smiled, "do you have any maths or spelling or geography or history homework?"

Mica was deep in thought. "Yeah, I have to draw that map of Cardiff for that stupid geography class tomorrow. She's gonna make me stand in front of the whole class and draw the map and show everyone where I live."

So after Mica finished her dinner, Ianto cleaned up the spill, changed her into some clean clothes, and started a load of laundry including her school clothes, Mica and Ianto spent an hour practicing drawing a basic map of Cardiff including the area where the Davies' housing estate was located as well as the street where their home stood.

Ianto noticed the time. It was already eight o'clock. "Ok baths for you two," he ordered.

David groaned but got up from the TV. "I'm goin' first, she takes forever." True to his word David was out of the bath in less than ten minutes.

Mica went in next and just as David predicted she seemed to take forever. After forty-five minutes and three door checks Ianto was getting concerned.

"Mica, I'm coming in now," he said opening the door. She was out of the tub and in her pyjamas. There was something strange on the tile wall next to the tub. As he moved closer to look, Mica dipped her head in embarrassment.

Ianto smiled when he realized what he was looking at. "Look. A map of Cardiff. Isn't it brilliant?" Ianto said enthusiastically. Mica had practiced the map one more time on the tile using shower gel.

"Oh and there's Ely, and isn't that Cromwell Estates? Why, yes it is. And there's Wheatley Road and look, right at the corner of Wheatley Road and Wilson Road, it's your house! My niece is a genius," Ianto said picking her up and carrying her to her bedroom.

He tucked her in bed and smiled as she whispered, "I love you Uncle Ianto; you are the best Uncle ever."

He turned off the lights, and closed her door part way. He went back into the bathroom and sprayed down the wall with the shower head smirking, "there goes the neighborhood."

He went downstairs to the lounge and spent a little while playing a video game with David. "Hey, it's almost ten," Ianto said surprised at how late it was. Your parents will be home soon and I think you are supposed to be in bed."

David laughed. "That's what they say, but I'm never in bed this early."

Ianto ruffled David's hair. "But your Mam will give me an earful if your not. If you had an older sister, you'd understand. She just loves to pick on me."

David got up and shut off the TV. "Thanks again Uncle Ianto for the help with the science project. Now everyone believes what I told them about you working for special ops."

Ianto gave David a hug and watched as he climbed up the stairway to his bedroom.

He finished cleaning up the kitchen, transferred the laundry into the dryer, straightened up the lounge and sat down to just enjoy the quiet. Not ten minutes later, Johnny and Rhi arrived home. It was almost eleven and Ianto quickly filled them in on the last two days.

"David got a middle pass on his science project and Mica can draw a map of Cardiff and her neighborhood and street perfectly."

Johnny laughed. "I'm guessing you had a little hand in that middle passing grade."

"I can honestly say, I had nothing to do with the science project, but I understand it was the class sensation."

"You helped her with the map, didn't you?" Rhi asked as she looked at the numerous sheets of paper that Mica had used practicing her maps.

"Now that, I did help with a bit. But she just needed a little assistance getting started and then she figured out the rest on her own."

"Well I can't thank you enough for stepping in and helping out," Rhi said as she gave Ianto a hug.

"Yeah, that was good that you could help us out on such short notice," Johnny added as he shook Ianto's hand.

"Well, I best be off. There's an early meeting at work tomorrow, and honestly, I'm exhausted," Ianto said as he put on his coat and grabbed his duffle.

As he drove out of Cromwell Estates and headed back to his own flat, he thought about how life had some funny twists and turns. When he left Cardiff for London he swore he'd never be back.

Now, with his job at Torchwood Three and his teammates, not to mention Jack, along with his sister, Mica, David, and yes, even Johnny, he couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

"There's no place like home," he thought as he pulled up in front his flat.