Doctor Who: Firework (part 4)

by: domina tempore (formerly "jewel of athos")

Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all of its characters and locations etc. belong to their respective owners; they just LIVE in my heart. But no copyright infringement intended!

Summary: Everybody knows that everybody dies, and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it…and he won't for Sarah Jane. A tribute to Elisabeth Sladen.

Author's Note: I put off writing this chapter for a ling because I was having trouble writing, and I didn't want to screw up on the last chapter of something like this. I'm sorry that it's taken so long; but I can barely hold it together right now.

Rest in Peace, Elisabeth Sladen. We will always love you.

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Sarah Jane stood at the doors of the TARDIS, for the last time. All illusions of adventure and cheerfulness were gone now; there was a heaviness in the moment that sat in the belly. She and the Doctor both knew that they were at the very end now, and neither of them wanted to let go.

"Well," Sarah said, shifting, "I guess this is it, then?"

"I guess it is," he answered. He came out from behind the console, where he had been scanning her. The TARDIS told him that her body was failing. He took her arm gently. "Come on. I'll help you back into bed." He pushed open the door, and the TARDIS groaned and sighed as Sarah crossed its threshold for the last time. A breath of air followed them out, the impossible blue box saying goodbye in its own way.

The Doctor and Sarah crossed the room, and he helped her out of the coat that he'd given her for the funeral and helped her climb into bed. She pulled the blankets up to cover herself.

"Back home again," she whispered."

"Yes." The Doctor hesitated, his body freezing in the motion of turning away. He changed his mind and sat down on the edge of the bed instead. He took her hand.

"Do you remember it all, Sarah?" he asked in a faraway voice, running his thumb across her fingers. "Do you remember when we first me, and you pretended to be your aunt? You were so adventurous and clever, even before we met. And the Zygons, do you remember them? We had to rescue Harry from them. You were the one who realized that they were impersonating him."

"Oh, you make it sound like I was so important. But you were the one who stopped them, Doctor."

"But you are important!" he protested. "You always were. The Ark space station? You reminded us about the shuttle, and brought that power cable all the way through the station to get it to me!"

"Only after getting myself frozen and stuck so you had to insult me to get me moving," she grinned wryly. "That was very rude of you, by the way."

The Doctor grinned back at her. "Yes, I suppose it was, wasn't it?" He shook his head. "But you know that I didn't mean any of it, Sarah. You know that I loved you." A moment of awkward silence passed between them. "And what about when we defeated Sutekh?"

The Doctor kept talking, reminiscing and telling Sarah Jane stories about herself, about all of the amazing things that they had done together; the things that they had accomplished and the people that they had met and saved. They talked about Harry and about the Brigadier and about K9 and about the time that she had met Rose, and about defeating the Daleks and working with everyone; Mickey and Martha and Jackie and Donna and Jack and the Doctor's own double. They remembered the times that he had come back to work with her and Luke and his friends. They even discussed the day that they had just spent together. It was so hard for either of them to let go, to admit that this was the last time that they were going to see each other. If talking would have kept her alive, the Doctor would have gone on forever.

Finally, though, even all of their words were spent. The Doctor glanced at her clock and stood up, regret tearing at his chest and his hearts. The two of them could hear Luke's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Doctor," Sarah's voice caught in her throat. "Say goodbye, please? This one last time, say goodbye."

"I don't want to. That means –"

"I know what it means. And I want you to say it, anyways. Goodbye, Doctor. And thank you."

"Oh, thank you for everything." He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug. "Thank you for everything. I love you."

"Doctor."

He sighed heavily, and heard Luke in the hallway. Failing to blink back his tears, he leaned forward once more and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Goodbye," he whispered, "my Sarah Jane." And then he stepped backwards into the closet, and closed that door as Luke opened the other one. As he retreated into the TARDIS, wiping at the tears that he now couldn't seem to stop, he heard the boy's worried voice as he talked to his mother, asking what was wrong. Sarah's soft answer only agitated him more, and he begged her to hang on, to stay.

And then, quite clearly, he heard Sarah Jane's voice. "Luke, my love, don't worry. You'll see me again, one more time. This isn't the end."

Those were the last words that Sarah Jane Smith ever spoke.

fin.

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A/N: There are no words to describe how dear Elisabeth Sladen was to us. We fill this world with words, but there are never enough or they are never the *right* ones. But I've tried. May she rest in peace. She will never be forgotten.