"Lissa, really. Dr. Phil?"

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with Dr. Phil." She set down the remote and gave me a dry look. "It's pretty funny to see all these peoples' problems."

I flicked a lock of hair out of my eyes and glanced over at her from my desk chair. "Yeah. They're pretty much on par with our problems. Especially our love problems."

Her eyes widened and took on a sparkle I'd come to realize could be very, very dangerous. A beaming smile began to glow on her face. It was the look she got when she had an idea.

"Oh no. Liss, please," I begged. "Please don't tell me you're sticking us on that show."

Wordlessly, eyes still twinkling, she picked up her cell phone.

Please God, no.

"May I arrange an appointment on the show?"

If I actually listen to the priest next week, will You stop her?

"Yes. Yes. It's my friend and I. We're both having relationship issues…oh, really? That's fine. Thank you. Yes. Oh, thank you. Could you call me back when you have a date and time? Here's my number…"

I'll tithe. I'll take Communion. Hell, I'll kneel before the cross and pray in front of everyone. Just stop her.

"Really? Yes, it is. Yes. Of course. Oh, yes, it's dramatic. Yes. Oh, thank you so much. Yes. That's fine."

I'll fast. I'll give all my money to the poor. Just stop this, please.

"Yes, yes. Okay. Oh, thank you! Are you sure? Yes. There's an open slot? Oh! Thank you so much."

You're still holding a grudge, aren't You?

Damn.

Really, I shouldn't curse while I'm praying.

Lissa hung up, radiant smile glowing on her face. "We're in."

I groaned.

~S&S~

BPOV

"Alice, no," I moaned. "Please."

She hung up the phone. "Sorry, Bella. You and Edward need it."

"We do not!"

She crossed her arms. "Really. And that's why he's still blaming himself over you jumping off a cliff. That's why he wants Jacob kept away from Renesmee at all times. That's why you let him do whatever he wants whenever he wants."

I glared. It didn't scare her a bit.

She stuck Edward and me on Dr. Phil. Honestly. We didn't need it…right?

A/N: Skylar here. So they're all going on Dr. Phil…can you imagine how this will end up?

Probably not well. :D

I know it's short. Sorry. It's really just a prologue. We'll start with the good stuff next update.