Disclaimer: I did not write the Bible. This story is based on the Gospel of John, chapter 11.
The Lazarus Miracle
by: Jeuxdevie
Some time during His teaching adventures, Jesus Christ stopped by the town of Bethany, home of Lazarus and his sisters Martha and Mary, to visit His friends. He was looking forward to having a good time when He received word that Lazarus was ill.
Naturally, Jesus became worried. Lazarus was a big, strong, muscular hunk of a man, and he was almost never sick. Jesus decided He had to see Lazarus as soon as possible.
When Jesus arrived at the home of His friend, Martha was keeping house while Mary was away at the temple.
"Where is he?" asked Jesus of Martha.
"He is in his room," she replied. "He hasn't come out for days. I am very worried. But You can heal him, right?"
"Do you believe," asked Jesus, "that I am the Christ, and that God has sent Me?"
"Yes, I believe You are the Lord, and that You are Life," she replied, "and that You can heal my brother."
"Then take Me to him," Jesus commanded. So Martha promptly took Jesus to the bedroom door of Lazarus. Jesus knocked.
"Go away," shouted the man from inside the bedroom.
"Lazarus, My friend," called Jesus, "open the door. It is I, Jesus."
The voice became milder when Jesus mentioned His name. "Jesus, my Lord! I wish You hadn't come! I do not wish You to see me in this pitiful state!"
Jesus' tone was gentle. "You do not have to hide yourself from Me, for I know what ails you."
"You do, Lord?" and a gasp. "Oh, I am so ashamed!" And there was sobbing from inside the room.
"There is nothing that can be hidden from the Lord, for I know all that was, and is, and ever shall be. Have you no faith in Me?"
"I have faith in You, my Lord," was the response.
"Then do you believe that I am the Christ, and that God has sent Me?"
"Yes, I believe You are the Lord," he replied, "and that You can free me from my affliction."
"Then," said Jesus, "prove your faith by letting me in."
The door opened. Jesus quickly entered and shut the door behind Him.
No sooner had He walked in did He reel from the stench of body odor. At one corner of the room, the dark figure of a thin man huddled beneath the blankets. Jesus felt sick to the stomach because of the stench, but, being the Son of God, He maintained His composure.
"Lazarus, arise," commanded Jesus, and Lazarus arose.
The young man, who used to be one of the handsomest bachelors in Bethany, was now sallow and pathetically thin. He apparently hadn't bathed for days; he smelled of old sweat and urine and feces. Worst of all, he seemed to have lost his contagiously active spirit.
Jesus wanted to embrace His friend, but thought against it. His robes were newly washed and ironed, and He didn't have any spare clothes with Him.
"Show me your problem," Jesus said. "I know the problem, but I would rather you ask of Me." Lazarus hesitated; but, eager to show his faith, he showed Jesus his problem.
"It is my staff," said Lazarus. "It won't come alive. It is dead. And, because of this affliction, I am unable to make my sisters happy. Now I am a useless man."
"So what do you wish Me to do?" asked Jesus.
"Heal me, my Lord," Lazarus replied, "and free me from this shame."
"Since you ask, it shall be given to you." Jesus placed His hand upon the staff. He whispered words into Lazarus' ear and, immediately, the staff came alive.
Lazarus, immediately regaining his vitality, squealed in happiness. "Oh, thank you, my Lord! Now I can show myself to my sisters!" He began to rush out of the door, but was stopped by Jesus.
"Have you not wondered what will happen the next time you need your staff to come alive and I am not around?" asked Jesus.
Lazarus thought, and shrugged. He hadn't thought of that.
"Since cameras have not been invented yet, and I can't take a picture of myself to give to you, I will give you a potion," said Jesus, "that will cure you of this affliction in case it happens again." He took out a pen and a paper, and wrote down the recipe of the potion, and gave it to Lazarus.
Lazarus carefully read the recipe, and knew it by heart. He went out of his room, and took a bath, and joined his sister Martha in the living room. Mary arrived soon after, and Jesus joined them, and they all had a great time.
Epilogue
Two thousand years later, the recipe will be uncovered by a team of archeologists hired by a major pharmaceutical company. The biblical recipe will be used to create magical blue diamond pills used by men all around the world.
THE END