Hello peeps! I'm Psycho Kitty-chan. Since spring break is almost here I have nothing better to do. So I decided to make this story! 0.o Why you ask? Cause I'm bored!

Rating: Hmm, does this really need a rating? T to M I guess..

Ownership: Nothing except a few volumes of manga and this idea plus my cat toy!

The Akatsuki's Meow

1. Transform!

"No, no, no... NO!"

A young man with auburn hair was going through the files in his file cabinet. He slammed it shut then turned away staring at his assistant.

"Konan." he hissed. The woman jumped out of her own skin. "Where did you put the bio on the Kyuubi no kitsune?"

"I-in the shredder.."

"The shredder? Why would you put it in the shr.. hold up." Pein paused, and tossed a kunai.

Konan didn't react on time and disappeared in a puff of smoke turning into an old lady. This old lady was old and had nasty warts all over her face.

"Kawahahaha blah blah!" Kawed the old lady.

Pein pointed a finger at her. "We meet again.. Neko no baka."

Neko baka flinched. "Eh? since when do you know my name?" Pein responded to this.

"I know lots of names." Then opened the file cabinet and flipped out a few documents to read. "Sarah, Haley, Will Smith, Homer, Sonic, Madea, Mr. Brown, Mordaci.."

"Enough! Now surrender the sealing stone or else!"

"Or else what?"

Neko continued the sentence. "Or else I'll turn your troupe into a circus of animals!"

"Oh hell no." cursed the man. "Before you do, let me call out my army." Pein put his fingers to his lips and whistled a friendly tune.

The walls broke down revealing a flying elephant. Neko no baka laughed her ass off at this.

"Jahaaha haa! Are you serious? Dumbo isn't part of the story!"

Pein kept glancing at the elephant then back at her. "Fuck this." then unleashed a wave of water.

Neko got caught in it. "Auughhh, help me! I can't swim!"

While the battle continued, a visitor opened the door. "Tobi come to give you pine apples!" Then freaked out when a wave of water start coming his way. "Oh shit! Tobi see mighty water!"

"Close the damn door." Hissed the rinnegan user. But Tobi didn't listen.

All the water started to drain out into the hall way. The crazy woman went sailing out of the main room into the halls and clung to it for support. She spotted a boat racing down the halls and let go jumping into it. Tobi and Pein exited the room spying the old lady riding down the hall way with a silly expression her ugly face.

Only her voice could be heard. "See you later bitches! Aahahah!" then she vanished from sight.

-taxbreak-

"Tobi see Pein lost track of old lady."

"Shut up. It's all your fault."

The two men were leaning on the wall. Another Akatsuki member waltzed by in pure confusion.

His head looked from right to left as he kept walking. "What happened to the halls, yeah?"

"A tsunami hit the main room!" Exclaimed Tobi. He got smacked at the side of his head. "Owie! Tobi got smacked!"

Pein grabbed his hand by the other. "There's probably poison flowing through my veins now."

"I suppose that the flying witch lady was the one that your capturing."

Tobi nodded rapidly in response. "Yeah, thanks to Pein-sama!"

"Ignore him. We need to get to the sealing room before she does."

Deidara obliged and followed his allies deeper into the base. There was no sight of Neko no baka in the area.

"Are you sure that she's down here?" questioned the clay bomber.

Pein walked in front of them. "Yes I'm sure."

"Well I don't sense any of her dark chakra any where."

"Tobi thinks she's lost."

Out of the blue, they caught a glimpse of a flying old lady going down the halls. It didn't take long for her to come back and go the opposite direction then back again.

"Yeah, I think she's lost." Deidara said with a frown.

"Capturing her wouldn't be a problem then. That gives us more time to get to her before she finds the sealing room."

"Tobi thinks we need all the members to complete this."

"Deidara thinks that what Tobi thinks is complete bull shit, un."

"Both of you are bull shit." Added Pein. "In fact, I'm sick and tired of dealing with you two."

They grew quiet after hearing some people talking with one another.

"The sealing room? Yeah, go straight then take a left."

"Thank you very much! I was dying to blow this cave up until you showed up."

"Your welcome."

...

"You fool."

"What? I didn't know that she was the enemy."

"Well now you know.." Replied Pein ever so smoothly. "Thanks to you, all our bijuus will be taken away."

"Who is she anyways?"

"Neko no baka, Neko no baa chan's twin sister. Except she's bad ass, yeah!"

"Oh. Well does any one else know about her?"

"Probably Itachi does."

"Good. We need all the help we could get from him."

Now all four were adventuring towards the sealing room. When they got there, there wasn't that much to see. Everything was in shambles and the door was off it's hedges. The four Akatsuki members slowly and cautiously entered through the front door. A passed out Itachi was on the floor.

Every one started sobbing while Deidara was happy.

"All right! Itachi's dead, yeah!"

"Shut up." Hissed the shark. "He was my only friend and partner, and drinking buddy..."

"We know that already. Search for neko no baka.."

Tobi concentrated on her chakra surge. "Over there! Tobi spy her on the ceiling."

Deidara's face got scrunched up "Yuck.. she's pronounced dead right?"

"Reminds me of the grudge." Commented Kisame.

Pein wandered past the blood spilled walls and bent down on the floor to check Itachi's pulse. "She's still breathing.."

"Tee hee. Tobi hear you call Itachi-sama a she." giggled the boy.

The auburn haired man corrected him self. "I mean he." and then brought his hands to his face. "What the hell?"

Deidara saw the exact transformation taking over him as well. "Those damn pedicure people didn't do a damn thing for my nails, un."

"Tobi has claws!" Exclaimed the man. He scratched the air numerous times. "Tobi goes meowr! Ha! ha! ha!"

Pein looked back at his members then looked at Itachi. He seemed to be going through the same transformation and.. shrunk?

"Alright! Itachi disintegrated! Un!"

Said leader brushed past him and bent down pulling up the cloaks coming across neither a human or an inanimate object. After realizing where his most prized possession went, a deep sleep took over him along with the entire Akatsuki. All at once, they fainted on the ground they walked on.

...

Three anbu soldiers pulled away at the rock that guarded the Akatuski base from view. There was a cat, fox, and dove. The trio moved it away to the side and walked inside ready for what ever evil creature there was to challenge them. Said anbu walked through a long dark hall way.

"Damn. Are all cave inhabited by criminals like this are so dark?"

"P-perhaps they don't want anyone to find them." Stuttered the dove.

"Or maybe you don't have good vision." Added the cat.

"Shut up Sai-teme!" Roared the fox.

The cat masked anbu shrugged at the fox's annoying response and looked straight ahead. "We'll split up. I'll take the right, dove, you'll take the forward route, and fox, you'll take the west."

"West? Why do I get the west?" Whined the fox.

"Because. You can't tell the difference between left and right."

Fox growled viciously in between his mask. The dove comforted him.

"It's alright.. I'm sure that you'll do f-fine.."

The dove nodded and soon the entire team split up in their assigned directions. She kept moving straight and came across the back of the cave. A foul odor made its way into her nostrils as she stood at the door way. Said anbu removed her dove mask and gasped in shock. Then a tap on her shoulder brought her back to life.

Which she didn't take to well. "Eight trigrams two palms!" shouted the girl.

The fox jumped away from her blows. "Hey! It's just me!"

The dove reset her fighting stance into a calm one. "I-I'm sorry.." she apologized.

"Not a problem." Smiled the fox.

"W-what are you doing here? Didn't he tell you to go west?"

"I did. There was nothing to investigate but a broken down door and hell of water everywhere."

"Oh." Replied the female. She started to blush behind her mask. "W-would you like to check out this room t-together?"

"Sure! I'm delighted."

Both anbu walked in coming across a very odd sight..

A/N: Cliffie! I left a cliffe! What did you think of the first chapter? I apologize for it's shortness. Better then nothing. How did you like the villain? If you thought Neko baka was silly, then get this. She is an actual parody of Neko baa chan. Except she's evil. Real, real, evil.

Please review! If you do, I'll update faster then I wanted to. Which is a promise.

If you do, you'll get virtual mangoes! Love em! But I'll love the reviews even more. Bye bye!